A Love to Deny
by Heavyinmyheart
Summary: I feel so empty without her...but I've accepted where I have to stand. I have to stand away from her..keep a distance and forget that I love her. It's the only way for her to live her life right...and it's the only way for me to draw the line. A line of friendship I should be content with that right? But I'm not...because deep down inside I'll always want more.
1. The First Meeting

**This is my first Jori story I hope you guys like. I am new to all this fanfiction stuff, but after reading so many stories about this pair I wanted to try writing a story of my own. You are welcome to leave reviews if you like.**

**I do not own Victorious.**

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><p>Jade sat against the red clay brick corner of the school by herself watching the other kids play. They laughed and ran around the playground having fun while she watched a little bit envious. She couldn't wait till school was over. Nobody here really understood her and how different Jade West was. Kindergarten to her was a waste of time she could be at home writing, drawing, or acting out a play. At school she just learned the basic stuff, but she couldn't be as creative as she wanted to be. For a five year old Jade West was a very smart and creative individual. She had a big vocabulary for her age, a high reading level than the average kindergartner, and could write very well.<p>

Even though Jade was very bright the teachers wouldn't let her draw the cool dark drawings she loved like about death and Halloween the standard scary story stuff. They wouldn't let her play with scissors because it was too dangerous. So Jade being Jade would sneak off with a pair whenever she could and cut things up. On top of being smart and creative Jade was also a rebellious youngster, but everybody thought the West girl was weird.

Jade didn't really talk to anyone either she kept to herself most of the time. So that was another reason most kids were afraid of her and thought she was an odd ball. As Jade was lost in thought somebody from afar caught her eye. She had been staring at her classmates when she noticed a lady talking with her teacher Ms. Logan. The lady had tan sun kissed skin with long brown wavy hair. She wore a white dress shirt with black slacks and had her black work jacket draped over her forearm. She looked very professional, but something now blocked her from observing the rest of the scene. She looked up it wasn't something it was someone. An unfamiliar face now looked down at her. Big brown eyes bore into her emerald green eyes.

"Hi," the girl said with a big smile plastered on her face. She seemed so happy to see Jade as if she were waiting for this moment all day long. "My name is Tori. I am new to this school."

Apparently this Tori chick expected Jade to answer back and introduce herself, but instead Jade just kept on silently staring into the girl's big brown eyes. Jade didn't really know why she wasn't saying anything she just felt she couldn't. Her stomach was in knots while her tongue seemed dry and her voice seemed to have disappeared. What was she feeling?

But before either girl could say anything else a distant voice called out. "Tori sweetie there you are," the well dressed woman said as she now stood beside the new girl. "I was worried about you. You shouldn't have left my side without my permission."

"I'm sorry mommy I just wanted to say hi."

"Oh did you. And who might this be?"

All the while Jade was still silently sitting against the red clay brick corner of the school observing the people in front of her not knowing how to respond.

Ms. Logan walked up from behind the nicely dressed woman and said, "This is Jade West. Jade West this is Tori Vega."

At this point Ms. Logan motioned for Jade to stand up to properly greet the people in front of her. Tori Vega extended her hand towards Jade and she shook it shyly.

The well dressed woman spoke, "Hello there Jade West I am Tori's mom. My name is Terri Vega and I am hoping you could accompany my daughter on her first day at school tomorrow."

Tori now turned to face her mother still holding Jade's hand and standing right beside her. "Mom can't I stay now I want to be with Jade?" Tori whined.

"Oh sweetie the day is almost over plus you aren't officially enrolled until tomorrow. Jade will still be here for you tomorrow. Isn't that right Jade?" Mrs. Vega looked down at the small dark brown haired girl with emerald green eyes questioningly.

Jade squeezed Tori's hand reassuringly and finally spoke. "I won't leave her side." Tori turned to look at Jade and smiled bigger than she had before. It seemed her smile would never end, but only keep on going. In return Jade gave her a small smile back not able to resist the loving look on Tori's face.

"You see sweetie nothing to worry about. Now come on lets get going Ms. Logan needs to take the class back inside the school."

Tori seemed sad at the notion of leaving she finally released Jade's hand and took her mother's hand instead. For a strange reason Jade's hand felt empty and cold now that the warmth had left her.

"Thank you Jade for being my daughter's first friend I am sure with you she will be safe." Mrs. Vega smiled down at the young Jade West and then walked off with Tori hand in hand.

During this time Ms. Logan had gone off to usher the other students in and was calling after Jade to come back into the school. Jade heard her, but she still decided to watch Tori go.

She looked back at Jade and waved goodbye. Instead of waving back Jade smiled in return. Tori Vega disappeared just as she had appeared out of the blue. Maybe tomorrow wouldn't be so bad after all Jade thought and with that she finally made her way back inside the school with the image of the smiling Vega ever still so present.


	2. Taking the Fall

Jade was sitting at her desk with her chin on her crossed arms. She closed her eyes listening to the rain hit the window pane. A rise of whines began to fall from the kids. That means no recess today. Jade was actually happy about it unlike most of these dorks she loved the rain. It was the perfect weather for her to snuggle up with a good book or write a song.

"Hey Jade mind if I sit by you," a familiar cheery voice crooned.

Jade opened her eyes now looking at a smiling Tori Vega. She wore a yellow dress and her hair was down in waves resting on her shoulders. "You're too bright," retorted Jade.

"What do you mean," Vega said confused.

Compared to Vega she was too dark. She wore a black a thin sweater with her black jeans and high top converse. Jade compared herself to Tori thinking about how she fit the rain, but how Vega stood out. Jade changed the subject by asking her another question.

"Why did you dress up like that? Didn't you know it was going to rain?"

"Yeah but I thought that's why I should dress like this. You know so the day won't feel so gloomy."

Jade cocked her eyebrow glancing at Tori's warm brown eyes, but she quickly looked away. Vega's vocabulary caught her off guard. Maybe this Tori chick was just as smart as her. After a few seconds of being lost in thought she heard Vega's voice again.

"So can I sit next to you?"

"Whatever," Jade replied sounding bored while she looked out at the rain. She earned yet another confused look from Tori, but the girl still sat next her.

That's when Mrs. Logan came in with her usual fake smile. Jade knew she wanted to get out of here just as much as she did. She never really liked Ms. Logan Jade preferred Ms. Taylor instead. Ms. Taylor followed behind Ms. Logan with a genuine smile on her face and noticed Vega. Ms. Taylor walked over to her asking Tori to come up to the front of the class. The class gawked at Tori wondering who the new girl was.

Ms. Taylor said, "Everyone I am sure you noticed this new cute face. What is your name?"

"My name is Tori Vega," she said with a confident grin on her face.

"Well dear when we introduce ourselves in the class we usually talk bit about ourselves. Would you like to add anything?"

"Umm…yeah! My dad is a cop and my mom works with lawyers at a law firm! My favorite color is purple."

Some annoying kid at the front of the class cut Tori off before she could say anything else. "So why didn't you wear purple today if it's your favorite," said the annoying kid.

"Well because I knew it was going to rain so I wanted to wear something bright so the day wouldn't feel so gloomy to me."

"What does gloomy mean," the annoying kid said with his mouth open.

"It means to feel sad or dark," Tori replied to the annoying kid in a kind tone of voice.

Mr. Taylor's eyes got bigger, "Wow aren't you a smart little cookie."

"I still don't get why you dressed like that," he said in a mocking voice.

This kid was getting on my nerves no wonder I never bothered to learn his name he asked too many stupid questions. Plus I knew what he was up to he wanted to embarrass Tori by making her look stupid in front of the class. Maybe I should punch him or cut his long hair with my stashed away pair of scissors? I mean seriously for a boy he had long hair. No boy should let their hair grow out that long he practically looked like a girl.

As I was plotting my revenge Ms. Taylor's voice broke me from my plans. "What Tori is trying to say Daniel is that she wore the color yellow to lighten her mood so she wouldn't feel sad today because of the rain. Some people actually say that the colors you wear show the way you feel," Mrs. Taylor directed this last sentence to the whole class.

The class awed coming to an understanding of why Tori wore the color yellow. The kids whispered among themselves saying Vega was really smart.

Daniel or more like Daniela spoke again this time saying something about me. "That Jade girl is gloomy! Just look at the way she dresses always in black like a witch!"

This boy/girl is so going to get it! But despite the purse of my lips and my anger boiling up inside I knew my eyes had betrayed me. They showed hurt a weakness I wasn't comfortable with. Vega must have noticed too because her brown eyes locked on my green eyes saying sorry even though she had nothing to be sorry for.

Ms. Taylor directed her attention to Daniela telling him that what he had said wasn't nice and that he should apologize to me. She made him stand in front of the class and say sorry to me. I of course didn't want his apology it was a pathetic one I knew he didn't mean it, but I took it planning my own justice for later.

Through out the early morning people were still all over Tori complimenting her on how smart, funny, or nice she was. I of course was still in a sour mood, but really when wasn't I when I was here at this stupid school. Today felt worse though. I felt like everyone was so impressed by Vega and how smart she was yet when I showed I was smart people didn't care. I felt left out among everyone else the new girl was fitting in fine, but Jade West was sticking out like a sore thumb.

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><p>When it was time for lunch I sat in the cafeteria alone. There I was at my table in the corner when Vega shows up sitting in front of me.<p>

"Hey Jade," she said nicely.

Ugh I was getting sick of her and her happy attitude. I stared at a spot on the table saying coldly, "What do you want Vega?"

"Want? I don't want anything. And why are you calling me Vega?"

"Are sure you don't want something I mean by now I'm sure you've heard what they say about me. Maybe you should stay away Vega," I said this as more of a threat than a question. She had to be up to something no girl was this nice? I bet she was trying to trick me and pull some kind of prank on me like those other stupid girls in the class who constantly pick on me.

"Yeah I heard what they say about you, but I don't believe you're a freak Jade," she said sincerely.

I looked up finally from staring at the spot on the table. My eyes met hers and I could see she was telling the truth.

"Why aren't you sitting with those other girl the ones who are like you?"

"I'm not like them Jade. They pretend to be nice to others. Plus I don't really like them because they talk bad about you."

" Hmm… I don't know Vega everybody in the class talks bad about me. You sure you're not trying to pull something here," I said inquiringly.

Her brown eyes shot open wide in surprise to my question. "No I wouldn't do that to you and I'm sorry.

"Sorry about what?"

"About Daniel calling you a witch I shouldn't have brought up the color thing and the word gloomy."

I could see that she meant her apology, but Vega had nothing to be sorry for. I just wouldn't let her know it. "Yeah you should be. If it wasn't for you that dork would have left me alone! Now everyone is talking about me like if I'm a real witch!"

"Jade I really didn't mean to-

"Save it Vega," I said angrily cutting her off and storming out of the cafeteria leaving her sitting alone.

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><p>Apparently my little scene had been witnessed in front of much of the class making them say even more mean things about me. How could it be that she fit in while I stood out? I was just as smart as her and I bet I am more creative yet they all take to her. I hated the fact she didn't have to try, but was just liked. Those were the thoughts running through my head as I lay on my sleeping matt.<p>

It was nap time for the class right after lunch, but I couldn't sleep not with Vega in my head. So I lay there thinking about her and deciding that if I would never really fit in then I would just embrace standing out. I got up very quietly went to my backpack and got my stashed away scissors out. Thanks to the rain everyone was asleep the weather being the perfect set up for drowsiness.

I knew what I was about to do was not the best idea, but it was my own form of justice. "If you can't beat them join them," I said softly while I looked down at Daniela. He was turned on his side sleeping peacefully on his blue matt. It was too bad that those sweet dreams would soon become a nightmare. I smiled vengefully as I got on my knees and gently took some of his long black shiny hair in my hands.

I positioned the cold steel blades of the scissors on his hair snapping them closed. The black chunk of hair fell away on his blue matt. I smirked at the rush of excitement feeling my hands move faster, but still gently enough that I wouldn't wake him. The snipping of the scissors and the rain were the only noises I heard. If I had paid more attention I would have heard Vega getting up.

"Jade what are you doing?"

Her voice was filled with astonishment and a hint of disbelief. I kept cutting his hair not looking back at Vega.

"What does it look like Vega," I said sarcastically.

"You have to stop Jade."

"Why should I? Just Relax will yeah. Daniela here is just getting a new look. I mean seriously he looks like a girl."

"It doesn't matter that he does Jade you have to stop because it's wrong."

I could hear the worry in her voice. I wasn't sure if it was directed towards me or towards feeling sorry for Daniel. I still didn't stop though I kept on feeling like I had a point to prove.

"Jade enough."

She grabbed my hands stilling my movements. I looked down at all of the black hair scattered. I couldn't get myself to meet her eyes what would I see in Vega's brown eyes? Disappointment? Fear? Anger?

"Let me go Vega before I cut your hair," I tried to say with venom in my voice yet my words came out empty.

"No," she said seriously.

"He needs to be taught a lesson."

"And I agree with you Jade, but _this… _isn't the way."

I stayed quite listening to her breathing feeling her hands tense tightly around mine.

"By you doing this it just shows that you're like him. You aren't like him Jade or any of them," she said with so much care in her voice that I finally looked up into her eyes.

Her light brown eyes stared back into my emerald eyes.

"What if I am like them? You know what they say."

My voice came out so weak that I almost didn't even recognize it. Vega got down on her knees next to me, still holding my hands, still looking into my eyes, and now flashing me a soft smile.

"Jade West I believe that you aren't like them because someone who is like them wouldn't have stopped."

I was starting to feel relieved, but then I realized I hadn't really stopped myself.

"But you stopped me," I said softly to Vega.

She didn't say anything for a while. I felt that now she was getting the point.

"Face it Tori I am exactly like them. You just don't want to see it. In fact I am worse than those idiots I'm a bully."

Her smile was no longer present, but I could see that her eyes refused to believe what I said. She shook her head from side to side.

"No your not. You've been through a lot I can tell. This doesn't mean you're a bully you just need a friend."

"You shouldn't be with someone like me. I don't want you to be my friend Vega. You just get in the way," I said with as much disgust as I could muster in my voice.

I made my green eyes lie to her trying to get her to hate me. I had to act like I didn't care. She belonged with the in crowd. Kids like her would make her feel happy, but I would only bring her down. At that moment she let go of my hands stood up and looked away from me. I could see tears were staring to form in Tori's eyes.

I stood up too about to walk away back to my matt when I heard the door to the classroom opening up. I barely had time to react to what happened next. Ms. Logan came in eyes set on Tori and I.

"What have you done," she exclaimed red in the face.

I knew Ms. Logan was coming for me, but before I had time to answer Tori cut me off.

"I did it."

I didn't understand what she was doing until I looked down at Tori's hands and saw her small fingers laced around my steel scissors. How did she even take them away from me? I didn't have much time to think about this because before I knew it Ms. Logan took Tori by the arm and began to drag her out of the classroom. I watched her go willing my face in full shock Tori Vega took the fall for me.

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><p><strong>I hope chapter two was enjoyable for you. I am hoping after a couple of chapters I might move the rating up to a T or an M. It all depends how the story goes. Leave reviews if you wish any feedback is surely appreciated. <strong>


	3. Who's to Blame?

**If this update took a while I'm sorry school has been keeping me busy. So far if you notice I have included Daniel Tori's ex-boyfriend from the show who might come back later further into the story. Helen who as you know is the new Principal of Hollywood Arts which will also happen in this story.**

**I do not own Victorious :(**

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><p><strong>Tori's POV<strong>

"So what exactly happened Tori," Principal Helen asked me with questioning eyes.

I was sitting in the Principal's office surrounded by eyes that stared at me all waiting for an answer. Except the fact of the matter was I didn't really have an answer. My mouth felt dry, my stomach was in knots, and my hands were beginning to shake a little. I was nervous about this whole thing I mean what could I really say. Why did I do this? If I didn't come up with a good lie then everyone would know Jade did it.

"Obliviously she is lying if she can't answer the question," Ms. Logan's skeptical eyes met mine as if saying she knew I was hiding something.

"Wait a minute now Anne don't go off accusing the girl maybe she is just a little scared," Ms. Taylor said while giving me a reassuring smile.

"If she is scared that just shows she is guilty."

I could tell Principal Helen was getting tired of Ms. Logan's attitude. "Well then if you got so much to say tell me exactly what happened and where were you during all this?"

The subtle anger in Principal Helen's voice made me quiver. When would all of this be over? Ms. Logan's mud brown eyes became bigger showing that her temper was also reaching a new level. The only one who seemed calm in this situation was Ms. Taylor.

"Well I'm waiting. Mmph… I suppose you must be lying too," Principal Helen said mockingly.

Ms. Logan's face turned a bright shade of scarlet her eyes shined with hatred towards the woman in power. Though she seemed on edge Ms. Logan finally spoke in a calm manner.

"I walked into class when I saw Tori standing near Daniel scissors in hand and hair everywhere. But she wasn't the only one awake so was Jade West and might I add she was alongside Miss Vega here nowhere near her matt."

"Let me get this straight your saying that both girls are guilty?"

"No I only think one of them did it, but I don't know who."

"Well unless you have any proof I can't punish one over the other."

"All I know is that Jade likes to play with scissors. Scissors might I add that were missing from my classroom for at least a week now."

Silence engulfed the room Ms. Logan now had raised doubt among Principal Helen this I was sure of.

"Just think about it Principal Helen why would a new girl like Tori want to cut a boy's hair when she barley even knows him. How could a new student possibly know where the scissors are in the classroom on their first day?"

Principal Helen contemplated what she had just been told. "You bring up some good points Ms. Logan, but just because you tell me one of your students likes to play with scissors doesn't mean I can blame her for this situation. She would have had to have motive"

"Oh I believe she did. Just ask Ms. Taylor here"

This problem I felt was only getting bigger I knew that Ms. Logan wasn't very fond of Jade and that most of the students preferred Ms. Taylor over her. But what was she up to? Ms. Taylor looked calm and collected as if knowing she would be thrown under the bus. "There was an earlier incident between Jade and Daniel. You see Daniel made fun of Jade during class this morning, but I'm not so sure if she took his apology so well."

"You see motive at your finger tips." Ms. Logan's voice was filled with satisfaction.

She found a way to bring the truth out. The truth I was trying to bury for Jade's sake.

"If I may suggest Principal Helen what if we hear what the girls have to say. Even though there might be suspicion you can't know the truth without both sides of the story." Ms. Taylor spoke up wiping the smug look off Ms. Logan's face.

"Your absolutely right Ms. Taylor! Why don't you bring Jade to the office mean while Ms. Logan here can go back and take care of the class I am sure by now nap time must be over. Plus she will need to calm down Daniel when he wakes up to find most of his hair missing. Lord knows that child is going to need therapy. Inform his parents would you Ms. Logan."

I could tell by the look on Ms. Logan's face that Ms. Taylor had found a way to make a hole in whatever plan she had had.

"Well… you can go now Ms. Logan."

Ms. Logan stood up and made her way out the office her eyes no longer holding there cocky shine, but now worry was written all over her. It took a couple of minutes before Ms. Taylor returned with Jade. During that time I was still trying to come up with a good lie. The thing was who really knew how this was going to play out with Jade being in the same room and all. I wondered if she would tell the truth?

The door creaked loudly as Ms. Taylor opened it to let Jade in. "Principal Helen I think it best for me to go help Ms. Logan with the children she is going to have her hands full with Daniel and his parents."

"Oh sure! Go on right ahead Ms. Taylor that is very sweet of you."

Ms. Taylor closed the door leaving behind Jade who now was eyeing the rain falling softly outside the window. Her green eyes seemed distant and she seemed calm no hint of fear present.

"Why don't you have a seat Jade right here next to Tori," Helen offered.

Jade pulled her eyes away from the rain and walked over to sit next to me on the green leathered chair. Her head hung low looking down at the ground while her dark brown hair had fallen over her face. I wonder if she feels guilty?

She must have felt that her posture might give her away because Jade suddenly lifted her head while her eyes looked straight into Helen's.

"Oh my well don't you have really pretty eyes," Helen said to Jade.

Jade awkwardly thanked her breaking eye contact to look at her shoes. She must not deal well with compliments I concluded.

"Okay girls I am sure you both know why you are here so lets here it shall we. Who is going to tell me the truth?"

Before I even had time to respond Jade looked back up at Helen and said, "I will."

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><p><strong>I don't know how long it will take me to write the next chapters because of school not to mention sometimes i get stuck on the story, but I will try to work on it when I can. Anyways review if you want thanks for reading. <strong>


	4. Choices

**Sorry it took so long for this update. I had wrote it last week, but I sent it to my cousin so he could fix some of my mistakes. He was super busy so he barely edited it today. Anyways thanks for the support I love reading the reviews I always take them into consideration. :j Hope you enjoy.**

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><p>Ms. Taylor came into class informing me that she had to escort me to the Principal's Office. I knew this would happen; it was only the suspense that was killing me. Now that the wait would finally be over, I knew that I would have to play it cool, unlike Vega who was probably all jittery in the office waiting for me to get there. When I walked into Principal Helen's office I avoided Tori's gaze.<p>

This girl was trying to befriend me when all I was trying to do was push her away. So now I have the choice to let her screw things up and get us both into trouble or take control of the situation. When Helen asked which one of us was going to tell her the truth, I saw my opportunity and took it.

"Okay Jade go on tell me what happened," Helen said while a quick silence fell upon the room.

From the corner of my eye, I could see that Vega was shocked that I offered to tell the truth and now she looked even more tense than before. She was probably wondering what I was going to say.

"During our lunch time, I was sitting by myself when Tori sat across from me asking if I was going to do anything about Daniel. I asked what she had meant and she told me if I was going to get even with him for being mean to me. That's when I told Tori that I was going to let it go since he always picks on me. It is normal for me now to hear Daniel make insults about me, but I just choose not to pay attention anymore. Anyways she tried to get me to change my mind by saying that he needed to be taught a lesson; he shouldn't treat you that way that sort of stuff. The disagreement with each other frustrated me so I got up angrily and left, causing a scene in the cafeteria. People probably thought that I was being mean to Tori but we were just arguing. After lunch, the class went back to the room where everyone was getting ready to go to sleep. That's when Ms. Logan had stepped out leaving us alone with no one to watch us. Everything was probably going fine when I heard snipping close by. I woke up to see Tori with my scissors cutting Daniel's hair off."

Helen was staring at me trying to size me up and figure out if I was lying or not. Her dark brown eyes were searching my young, deceptive green eyes. I wouldn't break though, for I had to stick to my charade. She finally broke eye contact with me seeing that she couldn't break me. Helen focused her eyes on Tori looking for a moment of weakness among her.

"Hmm… okay, so Jade, I have a couple questions for you to answer first before I move on to Miss Vega here."

"Shoot," I said with a calm exterior.

Helen raised her eyebrows noticing that I was not in the slightest bit worried over what

questions she would ask me.

"Do you admit to having a little fetish for scissors?"

"Yes."

"You said Tori had scissors in her hands and that they were yours is this true?"

"Yes."

"That's interesting because Ms. Logan said she was missing a pair of scissors that looked exactly like the ones Tori was using."

I remained calm knowing Principal Helen was trying to break me.

My voice came out unchanged with no hint of denial. "Yeah she gave them to me."

A look of confusion swept across both Helen's and Vega's face. I couldn't help, but feel my lips pull up a little in a small smirk.

"Why on earth would she give you a pair of scissors," questioned Helen with curiosity.

"I can't say why Principal Helen. She told me to keep it a secret. Ms. Logan said this is between us and not to tell anyone."

By the flabbergasted look on her face, I knew I had her attention. Principal Helen's eyes were big now with her mouth slightly ajar.

"Any more questions Principal Helen," I asked with an innocent small smile.

She was too shocked to ask me anything else so she moved on to Tori. "Miss Vega, is what Jade said true? Do you have anything to add or disagree with?"

Tori looked at Helen, then turned to me with her eyes meeting mine searching for an answer. I smirked back at her knowing my plan was working. Was she so brave now? Let's see Vega, can you really say it was all you and not me? Her eyes still remained glued to mine, but she would never know I was testing her.

Vega had two choices the way I see it. She could agree with my side of the story and get blamed for it, or she could tell the truth and get me in trouble. Of course if she told the truth, Vega would be an accomplice because she lied. Oh sweet decisions, so hard to make aren't they Vega. I gave her a look saying do you want to be friends with me now. Either way if she figured it out, she would get in trouble too. I would take her down with me and I had no problem about that.

Vega must have caught on because she pulled her eyes away from mine in what seemed like forever and said yes to Helen.

My smirk lowered a little as she was really starting to irritate me with her being so weak. I mean why couldn't she just rat me out and say I made her lie or something? Why was she so determined to keep trying to protect me? Jade West doesn't need anyone's help nor anybody for that matter.

"Why did you do it Miss Vega," Helen asked.

Tori looked over at me again and said, "Because I care about Jade. She's my friend."

The softness in her eyes wanted to make me break and confess to Helen that it was my entire fault. The caring sound of her voice made my smirk fall into a slight frown. I hate that Vega makes me feel this way. I don't even know exactly what she makes me feel. All I know is that I just can't take it.

"You two are friends?" Helen's voice broke my thoughts as she looked at both of us.

At the same time Tori said yes while I said no.

A confused Helen looked at me, "No. Miss West I prefer not to play any games. I don't like to be made a fool of, so I am going to ask you one more time. Is Miss Vega your friend or not?"

Principal Helen had me there, if I said no then it shows that we were both lying. If I said yes, not only was I siding with Tori, but I was confirming to Vega that we were friends. So I thought to myself. You have the choice to push this girl who is trying to be your friend away and blow your whole plan. Or say that she is your friend allowing yourself to open up to her.

I looked at Tori seeing the anticipation in the young Latina's coffee brown eyes.

"Yeah, we're friends."

My voice came out soft and caring but not sour as I had expected. Vega's face lit up with happiness at my answer. This let Principal Helen know of our special bond being real and not fake. I knew she could see that Tori cared for me, and I was pretty sure that Helen could see what I didn't know.

"Alright girls, you have both been cooperative for the most part," she looked at me when she said this. "But I'm afraid that one of you still has to pay the consequences. Seeing as this was mostly Tori's doing, I have to suspend you dear."

Tori's happiness fell all too fast with her eyes losing their shine. "For how long," she asked in a quiet voice.

Before Helen could answer Tori, I intervened. "Principal Helen, can't you just let Tori off with a warning? She was just trying to stand up for me. I mean if Ms. Logan had been in the classroom in the first place none of this would have happened."

Principal Helen looked at me with big eyes. "Right," she exclaimed.

I guess she forgot what I had said earlier, but it was all coming back to her.

"Jade you need to tell me what secret you are keeping about Ms. Logan."

"Principal Helen I can't tell you, but I think you should ask her yourself. If she doesn't tell you the truth, ask around the school. I'm sure somebody else knows too."

"Jade why don't you just tell me?"

"It's not my business to say so I leave this up to you. I promised her I wouldn't say anything."

Helen looked at me with wonderment, noticing that I wasn't going to spill. So she let it be. I was being honest of course and sure Jade West didn't care much about others and I could easily sell out Ms. Logan, but when it came to promises I tried to keep them.

"Please don't punish Vega," I asked with pleading eyes. Normally I would never do this, yet for some reason I couldn't help myself.

Helen saw what I didn't know was there all along. I too cared for Tori Vega. She chuckled and flashed a perky grin. "You call her Vega," she said still chuckling. "You two are friends. How cute Vega."

I looked over at Tori and noticed her cheeks turn a shade of pink while my cheeks mirrored hers.

"Okay Miss Vega, I will let you off with a warning, but you still have to apologize to Daniel and his parents. Both of you will have to explain the situation to them and each of your parents are going to have to get involved as well.

Tori and I both nodded our heads in agreement.

"Alrighty then, you two may go back to class now. Make sure to tell Ms. Logan to come see me will you."

On that note, we left Principal Helen's office and made our way back to class. We were quiet for a while walking down the hall ways, but then Tori out of no where ambushed me with a hug. Her arms were wrapped tightly around me that I found it hard to breathe. I couldn't even try to hug her back. Not that I would anyway.

"Thank you Jade. You saved me."

"Look, it's not like if you were in a fire or anything so just chill out will you."

"Sorry."

I shook my head back and forth realizing she would probably be saying sorry to me all the time. She let go of her tight hug and we started to walk again.

After a while she spoke up, "Jade?"

"Yeah."

"Are we really friends?"

I stopped walking and turned to her looking at the concern in her big coffee brown eyes.

"Why would you ask me that?"

"Because you were testing me weren't you, back in Principal Helen's office trying to see if I would betray you?"

I had to give her credit Tori was smarter than she let on.

"Yeah, but you tricked me too since you wanted me to admit we are friends."

At this statement, Vega smiled with fake innocence trying to deny it. "No I wouldn't-

I rolled my eyes and took her hand in mine, "Shut up Vega."

She smiled even more and I smirked back as we walked hand in hand back to class.


	5. Growing On Me

**Sorry for the long update school has been really hectic and I am afraid it might get even more crazy. So who knows when I will have time to update. My plan for this Thanksgiving break was to work on updating this story often, but I have a bunch of major projects to work on. Sorry :(**

**I also want to apologize for any errors in the story my cousin couldn't edit it.**

**I do not own Victorious.**

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><p>I turned the door knob and pushed the door open. As Vega and I walked in the class everyone turned in our direction. There was not one eye that wasn't on us even both of the teachers stared at us. The warm hand in my own gave a tense squeeze feeling just as anxious as me. The silence in the room was deafening the only sound that could be heard was of someone sobbing.<p>

I looked around for the source of the noise and found it was Daniel who was crying. He was sitting alongside Ms. Logan behind her desk, arms cradled over his head, face tilted down in shame, and his eyes puffy red. Had I really done this to Daniel the boy who was now rocking back and forth a mess of absolute tears? I felt ashamed at the embarrassment I was causing him.

"Girls why don't you two have a seat behind my desk," spoke up Ms. Taylor.

I was glad the cold silence was finally broken and that my thoughts were interrupted by Tori tugging me toward Ms. Taylor's desk. I walked on not really feeling my legs move just as if I were on automatic. The good thing about Ms. Taylor's desk was that it was directed towards the back and Ms. Logan's desk was at the front of the class.

"Okay class lets all just get our things ready shall we school is almost over so get your things together," Ms. Taylor said making the class focus on her rather than on us.

Tori and I sat beside each other our hands still intertwined. I was still looking over at Daniel who wouldn't stop crying. By my guess it seemed he had been crying the whole time we had been in Principal Helen's office. I couldn't stop thinking of how he must be feeling and how everyone must really hate me. Vega must have noticed my guilt because she leaned in closer to me sending a small shiver down my spine.

She whispered into my ear, "Jade it's okay don't worry the class doesn't know who did it remember?"

I turned my head to finally look at her. My face was so close to hers that I could feel Tori's warm breath. Our eyes were held together in a trance of wonderment. A smile tugged up her face. "Don't forget Jade."

At her words I came back down from my world to the secret that was between us. This thing between Vega and I was too strong for me to handle. I released her hand in what felt like forever and I moved away creating some distance. Tori's smile faltered only for a second at my sudden reaction, but she held herself together all the while understanding my need for space.

"Girls did Principal Helen say anything," asked Ms. Taylor.

I turned my gaze towards her as she looked upon both of us with questioning eyes.

"Principal Helen wants to speak with Ms. Logan," I told her.

"Okay anything else?"

Vega answered her this time. "Oh yeah she wants Jade and I to explain what happened to Daniel's parents."

"I assume that each of your parents will have to be notified. Am I correct?"

We both nodded our heads in agreement.

"Alright Jade and Tori both of you just sit tight mean while I am going to inform Ms. Logan about everything. Don't leave with the other students both of you including Daniel will have to stay behind with me okay."

"Yes Ms. Taylor," replied Tori.

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><p>After that big entire mess that was technically all my fault was finally over things were actually okay. Each of our parents came up to the school and were informed of what happened. Well I should say at least Daniel's mother and Tori's mom were. My mom was probably too busy shopping or was at the spa to pick me up so she sent my nanny Blue to come get me. Blue has sandy blonde hair, ice blue eyes, is super tall, and is a man. Yeah Blue is actually more of a manny at least that's the way I see it. He is awesome though I rather would have him instead of my parents.<p>

When that long talk was over Blue took me out for ice cream. Yeah shocker there you think he would take me home and tell my parents, but like I said Blue is a cool dude. "So slugger what's the real story?"

His ice blue eyes were now staring into my emerald green suspiciously. I gave him an evil glare while Blue let out a wild laugh. I laughed too at his funny laughter and licked my coffee flavored ice cream off my spoon.

"So are you going to tell me?" Blue smirked at me waiting for me to fess up. "Come on Jade I know you. It had to be you who left that kid all ruffed up am I right?"

"Yeah I did it," I simply said as if were no big deal.

He chuckled, "That's great slugger I knew the second that other little girl said she did it that it had to be you. That hair job definitely a West doing no doubt."

I kept attacking my ice cream as I spoke through a mouthful. "Well you learned your lesson and so did he."

Blue laughed and smiled his goofy white grin. "Yeah I did never leave you alone with scissors."

"Ha ha very funny Blue." I flashbacked to the time when Blue had barely started to be my manny. He had made me mad when he forced me to wear a pink dress that my parents insisted I wear for some party they were going to. I of course wanted to wear something black if anything else, but Blue was instructed no black so what did I do I cut his hair for making me put on that stupid ruffled ugly pink dress. I swear that thing still gives me nightmares.

"You know what I don't get it is why did that girl take the fall for you?"

I spoke through yet another mouthful, "Her name is Vega." I shoveled more of the bitter yet sweet caffeine filled ice cream into my mouth.

"Whoa there! Calm down there slugger your going to get a brain freeze. Maybe coffee ice cream wasn't such a good idea," He said with big eyes as he saw that my foot began to tap in a rapid movement."

"You know I love coffee," I said a little too loudly.

"Oh I know, but you get hyper afterwards Jade plus your too little to be drinking or eating anything coffee flavored. Okay so this Vega girl I suspect she has a first name."

I smirked up at him from my coffee stained face. "Yeah but this could be our little secret Blue please."

He laughed at my attempt of puppy dog eyes and whiny voice. "Tell you what you can have coffee every once in a while as long as you stop avoiding my questions about this Vega girl."

I pouted slightly, "Fine. Yeah Vega has a first name its Tori, but I like calling her Vega instead."

Blue chuckled, "Okay that's a good start. Is she your friend?"

I didn't answer for about a minute.

"Aww how cute Jade has her first little friend," Blue teased.

"Shut up Blue or I'll cut your hair again."

My threat did not really faze him. "Well that means no coffee young lady," he said in a teasing disapproving tone.

I giggled and ate my last scoop of ice cream. "Okay, okay fine Vega's my friend that's why she took the fall for me."

"Uh hum… well I'm happy for you Jade, but why did you do it?"

"He ticked me off, but Blue you can not tell anyone about my secret with Vega. Not even my parents. Okay?"

He chuckled at my cool manner, "Don't worry slugger I won't tell a soul as long as you tell me the whole story on the way home. How does that sound?"

"You promise?"

Blue put a finger up to his lips and then made an x upon his heart.

"Don't ever do that again you look silly. Instead just say yes next time Blue."

His wild laugh exploded again as he took a napkin and wiped my coffee stained face.

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><p>The next day at school Daniel didn't show up. I guess he went to go fix his hair or just decided to stay home. I wouldn't blame him I did leave him with the worst haircut on earth after all. Of course that day was still followed with rumors about me being the one who actually did it, but every time anyone asked Tori if I did it she would always say it was her. I felt bad for Vega knowing that some of those stupid dorks would be mean to her now.<p>

As for what happened with Ms. Logan was a mystery for everyone else except for me. Ms. Logan had decided to quit teaching after that very day as Ms. Taylor had informed us this morning. I assumed the talk with Principal Helen didn't go so well. Even if she never fessed up I knew she quit because she smoked on school grounds leaving the class unattended. Of course this truth would never be told at least not to the students.

With Ms. Logan gone now some of the class was actually happy to have Ms. Taylor as our main teacher.

"Okay class listen up I have big news. Exciting news for all of you I am sure. We are going on a field trip this upcoming Tuesday at the art museum downtown."

The class erupted in cheers of excitement. "Great to see you are all excited, but there are some rules we have to follow. The one important rule is that each one of you will be paired up with a partner on the trip. So next class period you guys will draw from a bowl a paper and which ever name you draw will be your partner."

Some of the class smacked their lips at this news. Ms. Taylor still smiled and said, "I know this might not be something you guys like, but this trip counts as a grade too. It's a participation grade with how well you get along with your partner."

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><p>It was Monday morning the weekend had passed like so many others do. My entire weekend was spent going to stupid formal parties with my parents since my dad is a big business man around L.A. You know what that means more stupid colored dresses. This time my mother made me wear a pink dress, but with a white flower pattern all over it. I hated it more than the ruffled pink one. I mean what was my mother's obsession with pink? Was she trying to scar me for life with that dumb color? So I was bored the whole entire weekend having no Blue around and I hate to say it, but I actually missed Vega.<p>

I was hanging up my book bag and black jacket on the silver hook of my cubicle, when I saw Vega walk in and make her way to her cubicle which was 4 down from mine. I never thought I would actually miss her I barely knew this girl and yet when I saw her walk into class I felt happy to see her. I don't often feel happy so this was a new emotion I had to get use too. Not only that, but I had to get use to how she made me feel I just didn't know what that exactly was. I hadn't noticed that she moved until I heard my name fall from her lips.

"Jade?"

I finally acknowledged her presence by saying, "Hmm…"

She smiled at me, "What were you thinking about I always catch you spacing out."

I know I shouldn't have said this, but the words just came out without me really having any self control. "You."

Vega's coffee brown eyes got bigger. "What about me?"

Before it was my turn to answer Ms. Taylor came into class and instructed everyone to take a seat at their desks. The both of did as we were told and made our way to our desks the good thing about Ms. Taylor coming in is I didn't have to be honest with Tori. The downside was we sat right next to each other not that I minded it's just I knew eventually she would ask me again why I was thinking of her. Vega was persistent this I had come to learn about her.

Ms. Taylor stood at the front of class and began to speak, "Alright boys and girls who is ready to draw the name of their soon to be partner?"

Some of the class cheered while others moped.

"Okay I will call each one of you up at a time and from there you just draw from the bowl to see who your destined partner will be," Ms. Taylor flashed the class a big smile. "Andrew you are up first."

Each student would get called up one after the other most of them pleased with their partners. As I watched the process go on I felt Vega's hand cover the back of my right hand which was extended out on top my desk.

"I hope you're my partner," she whispered.

I was now focused on her small tan hand that rested on my pale hand instead of the others. I couldn't help but close my cool fingers around hers. Her fingers pulled into the spaces in-between mine and I gently stroked her pinky with my thumb. The feeling of our hands together sent goose bumps up my arms.

I didn't have to say anything in return just this action was enough for Tori to understand that I felt the same way.

"Tori you're up next," called Ms. Taylor.

At her name being called Vega released my hand slowly to make her way up to the front. There was still a good chance we could be together my name hadn't been drawn so I'm sure things would be okay. Tori stood at the front now with her hand inside the bowl. She grabbed a folded piece of white paper and pulled it out of the crystal light blue bowl.

Ms. Taylor smiled down at her as Tori opened the folded piece. "Who did you get Tori?"

Vega looked a little stunned as she swallowed and finally spoke, "Daniel."

At the very moment she said his name the door to the classroom creaked open and there he was. Daniel stood now inside the room with all eyes on him. He had gotten a new haircut just this time not from me. His black hair was still voluminous as ever, but cropped short and spiked at the front. He looked out of place not knowing what was going on.

Ms. Taylor addressed him, "Daniel your back. I'm glad to see you, you look great nice haircut. So let me catch you up to speed here. Come on up to the front of the class."

He made his way over to the front keeping a distance between himself and Tori. Everyone knew why of course.

"So Daniel we are going on a field trip tomorrow to the art museum downtown and all the students have to be partnered up as a participation grade. If you want to go to the museum your partner will have to be Tori. She just drew your name from this bowl you see. Is that okay with you? I understand if you don't feel comfortable about this."

Ms. Taylor waited for Daniel's answer and so did the rest of the class. Vega looked a little hurt from everyone judging her. Her eyes wandered over to floor avoiding the evil glares from others and avoiding meeting Daniel's eyes. I could tell she couldn't take the guilt that was not hers to take. Daniel scanned the room looking at some of his friends shaking their heads side to side others mouthing no to him. His eyes finally fell upon me intense green meeting his dark brown acquisitive eyes. Daniel was searching for something an answer I suppose. He couldn't read me, but he could read Tori. He looked at her now and saw her staring at me with a longing gaze.

With that he finally looked up at Ms. Taylor and said, "I'm okay with Tori being my partner."

Tori's eyes looked away from mine and shot over to Daniel. He smiled at her kindheartedly and in return Vega gave him a smile back. My chest felt tight at their exchange of smiles and eye contact.

"Okay then its settled Tori and Daniel you two are now partners. Go on both of you have a seat now."

Tori made her way back to her desk beside me while Daniel sat near his friends up front looking back at Tori. I made my way up to the front of the class as Ms. Taylor called my name. I reached into the bowl not really looking at my hand, but rather focused on Daniel looking at Tori. She looked at him too a smile directed towards him instead of at me.

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><p><strong>This chapter felt really long to me, but I hope you guys enjoyed it. Review please it motivates me :)<strong>


	6. Unexpected

**I hope this chapter makes up for the long update sorry. :(**

**I don't own Victorious**

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><p><em>Tori's POV<em>

"Just great Jade. Look at what you did," I said exasperated at her.

"Me!"

"Yeah you! It's your fault we're stuck here," I exclaimed as we were sitting on the front steps of the Payton Art Museum.

"Oh no! Don't you go blaming me for all this Vega! You're the one who decided to tag along!"

I could tell she was annoyed with me by the tone of her voice, but I just didn't understand why. All I was trying to do was be a good friend to her. Why has she been acting weird with me all day? "I had to follow you; what was I supposed to do, let you walk off?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Jade!" Now she was annoying me, but I knew I couldn't let her get to me. If I let her push me away, then all the effort I had put into our friendship wouldn't matter anymore. We sat in silence for a little while not looking at each other. After a few minutes, I couldn't take not looking at her. I cocked my head to the side observing her posture. Jade had her elbow on her knee as she leaned her cheek onto her small tight pale fist. She seemed distant and I know Jade is normally distant, but I thought we were just starting to be friends. "Jade -" I began but got cut off by the pale girl's boiling anger.

"What Vega, what!"

Her sharp tone made me wince, feeling like a puppy being scolded by its master. I stayed quiet for a second as I watched her scan the street of passing cars. She must really not want to focus on me because this whole time we've been out here on the steps, Jade has not looked my way. My throat felt dry as I spoke, "What are we going to do?"

She sighed, got up and started to walk off to the left of the sidewalk. Obviously I wasn't going to just stay by myself so I called after her. "Jade where are you going!"

She stopped, turned around and finally faced me. "Just come on Vega."

I stood up from the hard grey steps of the Payton Museum and walked towards the pale brunette.

"Do you trust me?"

I was trying to read Jade's emerald eyes wondering what she was thinking. Jade was always a surprise to me; a beautiful mystery all her own. "Yes."

"Okay then," she said as she turned on her heel and began to walk again.

I followed, still wondering where she was leading me. "You still didn't answer my question."

She sighed, "To the park."

"What! The park! Jade that's not safe what about stranger danger!"

"Geez Vega, calm down. If some creep tries to talk to us, we'll just make a run for it. Or hey you could be the decoy meanwhile I make a run for it."

She chuckled at her own sense of humor. "That's not funny," I said with a small pout on my face even if Jade couldn't see it. She probably knew it was there anyway.

Jade continued to lead the way as I followed close by her side. We walked in silence, going left and turning right. I started to think eventually we were lost but then Jade stopped at a crosswalk. She looked both ways, making sure no cars were coming before surprising me when she took a hold of my left hand and lead me across. As soon as we were on the other side though, she released my hand quickly as if being in contact with me burned her skin.

"Jade," I began.

"Shh, we're almost there."

And sure enough that final left turn led me to the most beautiful park I had ever seen. There were big old sturdy trees on both sides of the park that I believed cast tons of shade before, but were now losing many leaves due to the cold fall this year. The ground was covered in golden autumn leaves scattered all over, many colorful flowers still in bloom, black crafted wooden benches among both sides, and a huge fountain was centered in the middle of the park, shooting water upwards as it cascaded down.

I had barely even noticed that my mouth was hanging open till Jade said so. "Close your mouth Vega, you might swallow something," she retorted.

I did as I was told while I looked at Jade waiting for her to say something else. She didn't though and instead just walked on down the park while my unconscious feet followed suit. I still kept gawking at the beauty of the park when I noticed we had stopped walking. Jade was now sitting down on a merry go round. I hadn't even realized there was a playground for small kids. I looked around a little taking in the swings, slides, and monkey bars. After I finally stopped looking, I took a hesitant seat next to Jade on the merry go round; afraid that maybe she didn't want me to sit next to her. She didn't protest though or scoot away; she just sat there looking at the trees. I couldn't stay quiet for that long because I wanted to know why she was acting so strange.

"Jade please talk to me. I need to know what's wrong. I can't fix anything if you don't tell me."

"Nothing is wrong Vega, just shut up will you?"

She was mad at me, but why? I had to know I mean its Jade after all, there must be a reason. She wouldn't just hate me after what we'd gone through. So I stood up from the merry go round and got in her way, blocking her view of the trees. "No Jade, I won't shut up. I need you to tell me what happened back at the museum today."

The determination in my voice must have surprised her because she stood up too meeting me face to face. Jade was a little taller than me, but I wouldn't be intimidated by her height or the intense glare she was giving me with her emerald green eyes.

"No Vega? Really? You're going to stand up to me?"

"Yeah why would I back down from you now? We were just starting to be friends."

"Were. Past tense Vega, were. But we aren't anymore."

She turned her back to me and was starting to walk off when I encircled my arms around her waist trying to keep her in place.

"Tori what are you doing," she screamed.

"Jade, please just talk to me! I won't let go until you do," I pleaded.

She tried to wriggle free from my grasp, but I held on really tight to her waist, restraining her for a couple of minutes. Until finally, she stopped moving and I could feel her breathing heavily against me.

"Fine. I'll talk to you just let me go," she demanded.

I gently loosened my grip around her when Jade pulled a one eighty on me and had me on the ground.

"Jade," I gasped as my breath was knocked out of me.

I was on my back as Jade was on top of me with her arms wrapped around me squeezing me until I couldn't breathe.

"Can't- breathe," I choked out.

She chuckled, "Nobody gets away with making Jade West look weak. Got it Vega?"

I nodded my head since I technically couldn't speak. At that, Jade released her firm hold on me and got up. She made her way back to the merry go round as I got up from the ground to sit next to her. I waited patiently for her to speak because she seemed agitated whether it was with me or with not finding the right words to say.

"Vega- Tori", she paused.

"Go on Jade, just tell me. You don't have to be afraid," I said reassuringly.

"I am not afraid," Jade claimed.

"Then why are you hesitating?"

"Because I don't want to talk about this, it doesn't matter."

"It must matter if you wouldn't speak to me the whole entire time we were at the museum. Plus you ran away Jade; not just from the bus but from me. Why can't you just answer me?"

I couldn't tell if she was even listening to me based on her sudden fascination with her sneakers. "You know I'm here for you Jade. I'm your friend don't push me away."

She turned her head to me now her eyes looking a shade of green darker. "No you're not. You prefer him over me."

"Prefer who? Wait, what, Daniel! No he was just my partner Jade."

"It didn't seem like that. You two seemed pretty happy with each other all day."

"You think I like him don't you. Well I got news for you Jade West, I like you not him!"

At my declaration, Jade went wide eyed seeming cut off guard by what I had said. Yet, her focus shifted on something that caught her attention from the corner of her eye. She turned her head forward and was now gazing at a sight in front of her. I naturally looked in the direction she was staring at and found something I had never seen before.

_Tori's POV_

Just a couple of feet across from us were two girls sitting on one of the black benches kissing. I was in complete shock never having seen something like this. Their kiss was so passionate and it made me feel uncomfortable. How could two girls kiss each other? Mouth to mouth. I mean isn't there supposed to be a guy involved? Just a guy not a girl? Besides all of the running questions in my mind, I could not look away. Something in me was stuck, not able to shift my gaze. My only other thought was how did Jade feel about this?

_Jade's POV_

Right in front of me, I saw a sight so different and yet so compelling to watch I could not look away. There were two girls in front of me and Vega that were kissing each other mouth to mouth, not a care in the world of who was watching. Both girls were very beautiful: one had long straight black hair and porcelain skin, and the girl she was kissing had olive tan skin and long wavy brown hair. Something inside of my small chest seemed to expand; I didn't exactly know what, but I felt a buzz from the passionate kiss before me. It wasn't how my mother and father kissed. It was something different; something special and true that wasn't forced but just so natural.

I barely noticed that unconsciously Jade's hand had inched closer to mine on the merry go round while we watched the kiss. I felt a cool finger next to mine as she still remained centered at the display in front of her. Then I felt three small fingers lace on top of three of my own, her hand not entirely connected with mine. I finally tore my gaze from the unusual sight away and looked to Jade who now had a small angelic smile spread across her face.

When the kiss ended Jade looked at me with the same angelic smile still displayed on her face and in a delicate tone said, "You like me Vega?"

Her voice and appearance seemed elated after what she had just witnessed. Did Jade not mind that two girls were kissing? "Yes Jade, I like you a lot. You're my friend and Daniel isn't. He is just a boy who I had to be paired up with, and it's better for everyone to think we get along instead of hate each other after what the class thinks I did to him."

"I get it Tori; you want them to think that the both of you are on good terms. That's fine. I just don't know what got into me. I was-"she paused again.

"Jealous," I finished for her.

"I don't know. Maybe a little. It's only because I thought you were going to pick him over me. I thought I would lose you Tori."

I smiled at her, "Jade you won't ever lose me; I picked you over everyone else last week remember? Don't you get it? I'm here for you no matter if you want me to be or not."

"Okay I got it," she flashed me her trademark smirk.

"Umm… Jade I hate to bring this up, but shouldn't we try to get back to the museum. I know this park is amazing and all but it's getting late."

"Fine," she sighed and got up walking off to towards the way we entered.

I stayed back only for a little while taking in my final look of the park, for it was truly beautiful. I would have to ask Jade how she knew how to get here on her own. I noticed she was already close to the entrance, so I ran after her catching up to her side.

"Took you long enough," she smirked while I was panting for breath.

"I just wanted to take it all in you know."

"We could come back here one day."

"Really?"

"Yeah this could be our special place. Hardly anyone comes to this park."

"Why?"

Jade smiled an evil smile, "Because they say it's haunted."

I laughed, "Jade, come on stop joking."

"I'm not joking Vega, that's why I like to come here: it's old and creepy."

I gave her a skeptical look. "Okay, fine. I made that up to try to scare you."

"Ha! Well you are going to have to do better than that Jade West," I stuck my tongue out at her.

She smirked at me once more, "Is that a challenge Vega?"

I smirked back this time too, "Yup."

"Well October is almost here so challenge accepted."

On the way back to the Payton Museum, Jade and I made plans to when we could come back to the park and talked about Halloween. She was refusing to get dressed up and go trick or treating, but I convinced her eventually. Well to be honest, she just got tired of me whining about it and told me if I shut up she would do it. I smiled slyly the rest of the way back.

When Jade and I got close to the outside steps of the Payton Museum, she smiled a toothy grin and ran up to some man. I followed behind her and turned to my left, seeing my mother and Mrs. Taylor inside the building. They watched us from the outside while they were talking to some policemen and motioning towards Jade and I. Probably telling them that we were here.

I averted my gaze back to the man in front of me: he was tall, had sandy blonde hair, and piercing blue eyes. For a second I thought he was Jade's Father, but he seemed too young; plus he didn't look anything like Jade. He scooped her up in his arms and gave her a big hug.

"Don't you ever do that to me again Jade West," the tall stranger said.

"Aw Blue, you worry too much," Jade chuckled.

"Worry too much? Well someone has to. I mean I am your manny after all," he smiled back at her.

Jade laughed at him, "You know you love me, you dope."

"Of course Miss West," he laughed along with her.

I smiled at their playful banter. It was nice to see Jade had someone who cared about her besides me. The only thing I wondered now was if this Blue guy had already been there for her plus where were Jade's parents? He must have noticed me smiling at them because he finally put Jade down and said, "So slugger aren't you going to introduce me to your friend?"

"Blue you already know who she is. Vega remember?"

"Right Vega," he exclaimed. "Your best friend."

"Blue," she scolded him. Apparently Jade didn't want me to think I was her best friend but she couldn't fool me. Even if she didn't like getting close to people, I knew I was making my way into Jade's heart.

"Oh sorry," he said with a grin on his face.

Jade was now staring daggers at him. I laughed at how serious she became all of a sudden. At that, she turned to me and said, "What's so funny Vega."

I tried to suppress my laugh at her facial expression and her tone of voice knowing it would upset her. "Nothing West."

She cocked one eyebrow up, "West? Really Vega? Since when did I give you permission to call me by my last name?"

"I don't think I need your permission," I quipped back.

"Oh really," she smiled evilly.

My heart beat faster; oh man, I hope she doesn't bear hug me again! I closed my eyes expecting the worst and like déjà vu, she wrapped her arms around me, but only this time she didn't squeeze me till I couldn't breathe. I opened my eyes surprised that Jade was hugging me softly. I finally wrapped my arms around her too after the shock wore off. I was right; I am growing on Jade. I smiled at how unexpected today turned out to be but was glad the day went the way it did because of this particular moment with Jade.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading hope this chapter was good for you all. Reviews are appreciated.<br>**


	7. Giving In

**First off I just want to say thank you to the readers who take the time to read my story. The reviews, story and favorite story alerts really make my day so yeah thanks so much. :)**

**I will never own Victorious unfortunately.**

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><p><em>5 Years Later<em>

_Jade's POV_

"Tor-ii," Trina whined to her sister.

"What," Tori yelled back.

"Throw a slumber party for me!"

"Trina, how many times do I have to tell you no!"

I stood at my locker watching the two Vega sisters bicker with each other. This had become a normal thing for me that I actually enjoyed watching Tori get frustrated. The only thing I couldn't stand was Tori's sister. Trina could get hit by a bus for all I care and I wouldn't even shed a tear. Seriously, that girl gets on my nerves and I know I get on hers. I didn't even know Tori had a sister till… (Flashback)

We were at Tori's house one day after school since my mom had given Blue the day off. He didn't pick me up and neither did she because apparently she forgot. Anyways, whatever. Mrs. Vega was nice enough to give me a ride plus take me to her home since nobody was probably at mine. I remember the look on Tori's face the whole car ride to her house. She seemed anxious like she didn't want me there. Heck I thought she would be happy I would be going to her house for once. We would always hang out at my house since Blue was nice enough to take us places including bringing Tori to my house.

The whole car ride was filled with tension coming from Tori's part. Mrs. Vega tried to make conversation with me as I made my best attempt to answer politely. When I got to Tori's house, she hesitantly led me in while I followed her into the house. Her house was nice, wasn't to small or too big, the walls were a nice cream color, there were two vintage green sofas with a nice black pattern situated close to each other, and the house was decorated so cozy that I felt a sense of warmth radiating from within the home.

Compared to my house which is in my opinion way too big, modernly up to date, cold, and desolate. Tori's house actually felt like a real home. So yeah after I took in some of the house, she asked me if I wanted a beverage. I said sure and followed her into the kitchen. As she rummaged through the fridge, I noticed Mrs. Vega had left us alone. I wasn't quite sure where she had disappeared to but whatever; I decided now would be a good time to show Tori my new pair of scissors that Blue got me. These were my favorite scissors they were perfect in every way.

"Hey Vega, checkout my new scissors."

She closed the fridge as she took out two grape sodas that she then placed on the counter closer to her. "Wow those are really cool Jade; all black scissors just like you've always wanted!"

I smiled at her enthusiasm and the fact she still remembered that I had told her this when we were in kindergarten. "Yeah, Blue got them for me. He said it was something for me to have so I could always think of him." At the time I didn't know the reason behind Blue's actions, but I put it off as him just being typical Blue.

"Can I see," Tori asked.

"You already are Vega. See," I held the scissors up more and brought them closer to her face then quickly retracted them with a quick snap. At that she flinched a little while rolling her eyes at me.

"You know what I mean."

I gave her a small smirk, "Fine. Let's just hope you can catch." I tossed her my metallic black scissors.

Surprisingly Vega caught them in both hands and here I thought she would have just let them fall to the ground. "Jade! Don't throw your scissors at me you could have hurt me!"

The smirk on my face got bigger. "Just wanted to see if you could catch," I said teasingly.

"That's it! Time out Jade," Vega said disapprovingly.

"You can't put me in a time out," I rebelled.

Tori just pointed and said go with a slight grimace on her face.

"Fine, get me a new soda I don't like grape. I'll be in your room." I turned about face and started walking towards the direction of the hallway to the left.

"Jade you don't even know where it is," she called after me.

"Then I'll just look for it," I yelled back and disappeared from her view.

I sat in Tori's desk chair serving my so called timeout to think about my wrong doing as I took in her room. When she came in Tori handed me a Starbucks coffee and said, "Yeah, I know you said you wanted a different flavored soda, but I thought you might like this better."

I smiled up at her; Vega really does know me too well. "Thanks. And I'm sorry for tossing you my scissors; I could have hurt you."

"Aha! So you admit that I was right! And that my timeout thing did work because you thought about what you did wrong," she exclaimed with a big smirk on her face.

I felt the smile on my face turn into a toothy grin, "Rubbing it in much aren't we."

After a while of being in Tori's room, we went back out to the kitchen to get a snack. That's when I first saw Trina. She was standing up; leaning on the counter, munching on a pickle, the pickle jar in front of her. For some reason I was disgusted; I guess it was the fact that after she took a bite of the pickle she would put on lip gloss. I mean come on really who does that!

"Hey Tori, who's your ugh- new friend," she cautiously spoke as she analyzed me. I guess I wasn't the typical friend she would have thought Tori had. I didn't blame her though I mean the way I dress and my attitude is so different from Vega's. Tori was "Miss Sunshine" all around school while I was the rain to her day.

"Trina come on, don't you remember Jade? I talk about her like all the time," Tori said.

"You mean this is your best friend?" I could tell by her expression that she was surprised. The look she gave me was seriously ticking me off. What, am I not good enough to hang around Vega?

"Yeah," Tori simply stated like if it were the most natural thing in the world.

My eyes drifted from Tori, to Trina, to my black scissors that lay on top of the counter near the pickle jar. It had slipped my mind that I had left them in the kitchen after I had tossed them to Tori. I went over to the counter, picked them up and that's when one of the sides dangled and fell to the ground. I looked at the half of my scissors that lay on the floor, then to Tori whose big coffee brown eyes were on Trina's, then to Trina's stupid confused face, to the pickle jar.

That's when it hit me. Trina used my favorite scissors to open her stupid pickle jar! She was so dead in that moment. My face went from annoyance to pure anger. I licked my pursed lips picked up the pickle jar took off the lid and dumped it all over Trina. The pickle juice hit the top of her head in a gush and ran down her face while pickles fell to the floor and one remained on top of her hair. I dropped the pickle jar to the floor as it shattered into pieces. I simply made my way to the door and walked out; not bothering to look back, but just find my way home.

After that day, I realized why Tori was so anxious of me being at her house. Her stupid sister is a buzz kill. Trina ruined that day on a whole different level that she will never understand, but that Tori always would. That same day was the day my mother fired Blue. She told me during dinner that night that he was getting to old to be my baby sitter since he was twenty-one. Those scissors were the only thing I had left of Blue and stupid Trina broke them.

For a while I blamed Tori for being the one to leave them on top of the counter, but I was just really upset that Blue got fired. I treated Tori bad for a couple of days insulting her, ignoring her, and just me acting like a total bitch. Of course she wouldn't be Tori Vega if she didn't try to help me. Tori kept on being persistent about trying to talk to me and figure out what's wrong. I eventually just lost it and came out with the truth about Blue.

She understood then and realized the significance of those black scissors. I'm sorry she said once and she even tried to fix them, but the damage was done. I still have those broken scissors stashed away safe and sound.

"Jade. Earth to Jade," I heard a voice say.

I instinctively grabbed the person's wrist who had been waving their hand in front of my face. I squeezed tightly hearing an ouch escape their mouth.

"Jade you're hurting me," said a familiar voice. I turned to look at a stunned Tori Vega. I quickly released my firm grip on her as my mind registered who it was.

I didn't like to apologize so instead I said, "You should know better than to sneak up on me Vega."

"Well I didn't exactly sneak up on you," she countered.

At that I just shrugged my shoulders at her showing that I really didn't care if she snuck up on me or not.

"Daydreaming again huh."

I rolled my eyes at her.

"I'll take that as a yes," she giggled.

"Whatever," I said in my generic monotone voice. "So what do you want?"

"Oh, nothing."

This time I smiled at her nonchalant tone. Tori should know by now that she can't hide anything from me. "Yeah you do, Vega. I saw you arguing with your dragon of a sister. That obviously means she dragged you into something didn't she?"

She bit her lower lip, "Well… you see, uh, Trina wanted me to throw her a slumber party."

"Yeah I heard," I said abrasively.

She flashed me a hesitant smile, "Do you want to come?"

"Really, you gave in again? Wow Vega I thought you would at least be strong enough to say no, but you just can't, can you?"

"Come on Jade, what was I supposed to do? She's my sister and you know how annoying she can be."

"So you could have said no. Oh and by the way that girl is not annoying."

Tori looked at me bewildered that I had just said that.

"She is like a freaking virus that won't go away."

"Look, I know you don't like my sister, but can't you just do this for me? Please," she said with pouty lips and big puppy dog eyes.

"Who else are you inviting?"

"Well Trina wants me to invite Ivy, Tiffany, and Stacy. Plus a few other girls from our grade and her's."

"Of course she would," I sighed.

"So you'll come right?"

I looked into the half- Latina's coffee brown eyes. I knew the look she was giving me. It's not going to work Vega; I won't give in. "I don't do slumber parties."

Her sad eyes fell away from mine as her pout simply became a depressing frown. I rolled my eyes at how overdramatic she was portraying her sadness to be. You would think I just told her I ran over her dog if she had one anyway.

"Yeah well I got to get to class…so." After that I just took off, leaving a devastated Tori Vega behind me.

"Ding-dong," I heard the doorbell ring throughout the house as I stood outside waiting for someone to open the door. I waited a little then I rang again and that's when Vega opened the door with a complete dumbfounded look on her face.

"You came!"

"Yeah, yeah whatever. You gonna let me in or what," I said irritated that I actually decided to come to Trina's stupid slumber party.

Vega's smile only got bigger as she stepped aside and gestured me with her hands to come in like if I were some kind of queen.

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><p><strong>Hope you guys liked this chapter I am working on how this story is going to go. I already have a few ideas thanks to my cousin who edits and brainstorms with me about Jori. Hopefully I can update soon, but school does start tomorrow for me. Plus I have other stupid stuff I have to get back to. :( <strong>

**Anyways** **I was rambling a little bit. Reviews are lovely so review! :)**


	8. Slumber Party

**Thank you to the readers who review you guys make me happy! :) In turn I hope this chapter makes y'all happy too. (Yes i just said y'all meaning I am from Texas, but don't have an accent. I live in the suburbs and I am not some farmer like people think.)**

**So this chapter is actually my favorite so far because of all the relationships of the characters. I don't know it felt hard to write this out at first, but eventually I just went with what came to mind. I didn't want to rush it either because then it would have totally sucked or might have given up on it.**

** But here goes... **

**I don't own Victorious.  
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><p><em>Jade's POV<em>

I walked into the house expecting to find a bunch of screaming girls, but it was just me and Tori.

"So Vega, where is everybody?"

"Oh, they're in the game room since you know it's the biggest room where everyone fits. Plus, we can watch movies in there."

I nodded my head in comprehension. Tori smiles at me and I can tell she is trying to suppress her laughter. I raise my eyebrow, "What's so funny, Vega?"

"Nothing, it's just I never thought I'd see you in pj's before."

"Why, do I look bad," I asked a bit concerned. From the way Tori was dressed I knew I missed something. Tori was wearing purple shorts and a horizontal striped white and purple tank top meaning that most everyone else would surely be dressed in bright colors.

"No you look really cute; the only thing is some of the girls might find it weird. I just… don't care what they think okay?"

I felt my cheeks gain some heat, but not enough for me to blush. Plus, anyway I don't blush; I'm Jade West, I shouldn't blush. I understood what she was trying to tell me I would be the one dressed different from everyone else. After all, I was wearing my black cotton pajama pants that have white skulls with crossbones on them along with a plain black tank top.

"I don't care what everyone else thinks Vega. I don't need you to look out for me I'll be fine."

She nodded her head, "Sorry, I just don't want you to feel uncomfortable."

"Look it's whatever let's just get this over with; I am getting older by the second just standing here."

Tori led the way to the game room which was upstairs. I could hear music coming from the end of the hall. Oh, great this is it I should have stayed home I am going to have to deal with all these stupid girls from school including Trina! I walked in beside Tori looking at everyone in the room. There were about ten girls in the room all talking and chatting about boys or something girly, but when they saw me walk in with Vega the chatter died down.

The room was filled with tense silence as the music blared in the background, it being the only source of noise at the moment. All the girls who incidentally were the popular girls in school, all stared at me probably wondering why I was here. I stared back at them with cold eyes and a scowl on my face. My eyes fell upon Ivy; the main mean girl herself. I knew she had a thing in it for me; I could just tell by the way she was looking at me right now, not to mention the looks she gives me in class.

Vega cleared her throat to bring everyone out of the tension filled room. "Girls, this is Jade, my best friend." Some of the girls waved while others mumbled "hi" as I scarcely waved back with my scowl still in place and my black sleeping bag underneath my underarm.

"So how about we all paint our nails," Vega said with a cheery smile. Ah, Vega always the optimist in these sort of situations. I already knew what she was thinking if she could get everyone to have fun then they wouldn't feel so uncomfortable around poor, bad Jade West.

The girls agreed with yeahs, shakes of their heads, and alrights. I swear, all you have to tell a girl is let's paint your nails and they forget about everything else. Tori slightly grabbed my arm and pulled me forward. "Here Jade, you can put your sleeping bag next to mine if you want."

I placed my plain black sleeping bag in front of Tori's purple white flowered pattern one which was facing the left side of the room while mine faced the right. "Here's fine," I said.

"Okay, be right back I'm going to get the nail polish." With that she was gone. I sat down on my sleeping bag looking at the doorway waiting for her to reappear. I could hear Ivy who was to my far right talking to Tiffany and Stay, "I can't believe she invited her here. I mean look at the way she is dressed like a tomboy."

Stacy to Ivy - "Well Tori did say she was her best friend."

Tiffany to Stacy-"Doesn't mean she has to invite her."

Stacy to Tiffany-"I kinda think it does."

Ivy to both girls-"Both of you shut up. I just don't get how someone as cool as Tori can be friends with someone as uncool as Jade.

How stupid can Ivy be? Seriously, uncool? That's not even a word. Ugh she can say whatever she wants, but I won't let it get to me. I turn my head to the right looking at the three girls. I give them a malicious smile hoping it makes them pee in their pajamas when I pull out a pair of my scissors.

Ivy to both girls-"See she is a freak who carries scissors with them."

"Watch it Ivy, wouldn't want that pretty little red hair of yours to go missing at night would you," I said slyly. My smile gets bigger when each of the three girls eyes go wide making me want to burst out laughing. Ha that should shut them up.

Tori walked in at the exact moment that they had shut up. "Okay girls, I got the nail polish so everyone can come pick some; I'll put them right here on this table."

She then walked over to her sleeping bag and sat down facing me. "Do you want me to paint your nails Jade?"

"Fine Vega, but you better not mess up."

She smiled her perfect white smile, "What color?"

"Black," I said in my monotone voice.

"Of course," she chuckled.

Tori got up to get the black nail polish and cranked up the music to a Britney Spears song. I rolled my eyes as the girls in the room began to sing along. I don't know what the big deal is with Britney Spears, but every girl my age is like obsessed with her except for me of course. I prefer 70's and 80's music like Joan Jett which Blue introduced me to. God how I miss him. I remember the times Blue and I would put on Joan Jett and rock out to I Love Rock n' Roll while we cleaned the house or just goofed around.

I didn't notice that Tori was sitting in front of me until she took my hand in hers."Thinking about Blue again?"

I looked into her coffee brown eyes, then to our hands, and back into her eyes. I didn't have to say anything because Tori just knew. She squeezed my hand, "It's okay you don't have to talk about anything right now."

I gave her a weak smile as she began to paint my nails. The girls were still singing along to 'Hit Me Baby One More Time' while they painted each other's nails. Out of nowhere a horrible screeching sound entered the room. "Hit me baby one more time!"

Every girl winced in pain. "God who died," I said loudly as I turned my head to the left looking for the screeching that came from the doorway. Obviously it would be Trina; I knew her annoying presence was missing. Compared to everyone else Trina was dressed over the top. Her pajamas looked like a cross between a night gown and a sparkly dress. The sparkly pink gown stopped at her knees exposing her shoulders and tan legs. Her brown hair was overly tousled with too much volume.

Trina strutted into the room still singing along to the song, "I must confess that my loneliness. Is killing me now. Don't you know I still believe. That you will be here and give me a sign. Hit me, baby, one more time!"

I swear if she keeps singing I will gladly hit her one more time! My eardrums were starting to hurt and from the looks of the other girls, I knew I wasn't the only one who felt their ears were going to start to bleed. "Shut up," I yelled to her.

Trina stopped singing thank god, but she directed her eyes towards me. Her glare was met with my own. "Tori I didn't tell you to invite your freaky little friend," she exclaimed while pointing her finger at me.

"You might want to stop pointing that thing you call a finger at me before you lose it," I snarled back.

"Guys please don't fight," Tori looked from both of us worried that at any moment one of us would pounce on the other.

"Come on Tori she is going to ruin the party," Trina whined.

"Really because I'm pretty sure you already killed it when you walked in singing like a tone deaf cat," I countered back.

"Tori I want her out of here now!"

I could tell by the look on Trina's face that I struck a nerve not to mention the ooh's and oh's that came from the rest of the girls didn't help her any. I was standing up to get ready to leave when Tori grasped my arm and pulled me back down to where I was sitting. She stood up and faced her sister, "Trina may I have word with you outside now."

Ooh this was getting good I mean I never seen a stern Vega before, but I could tell she was definitely upset. Too bad I couldn't go with her to watch. As they left the game-room the girls started gossiping about what had just happened. Typical right. I heard some say wow Jade's a badass; I mean did you see the way she stood up to Trina. Trina is a seventh grader and she doesn't even care. This made me smirk hmm… maybe my reputation would get even better. I mean people already fear me and now showing them I am a badass would for certain bring up my reputation as the school's mean goth.

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><p><em>The Click's Conversation<em>

Ivy to Tiffany and Stacy-"She is just trying to show off. Jade's nothing, she will always be nothing."

Stacy to Ivy-"I don't know Ivy, a lot of the girls here are really impressed. I mean she stood up to a seventh grader and Trina's not even popular. Not to mention she's Tori sister."

Tiffany to Ivy-"Stacy's kinda right Ivy. I mean Jade is tough. Plus, people fear her and now this totally puts her on the map for school."

Stacy to Ivy-"Yeah Tiff's right, maybe we should consider letting her into the group. She fits the part.

Ivy to both girls-"No I don't think so. Something just doesn't seem right about her."

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><p><em>Trina and Tori's Conversation<em>

_Tori's POV_

"Trina how could you."

"How could I what?"

"You know what I am talking about don't act like you don't."

"Oh come on Tori you act like Jade was the victim when it was me! You always take her side instead of mine. Just like that time when she poured pickle juice all over me!"

"That is not true Trina."

"Really, it isn't? Because I didn't see you standing up for your own sister in there. No you took Jade's side even if she was the one who started it."

"Trina you insulted her what did you expect from Jade. I mean she doesn't particularly like you enough already with what you said you made things worse."

"You see! There you go Tori, sticking up for her! You know sometimes I think you prefer her as a sister than me!"

"Trina that isn't true."

"No let me finish please! All you ever talk about is Jade. Jade this and Jade that I mean there is not one day that you don't mention her! And you know what, I'm sick of it. Sometimes I think you don't even love me Tori."

At Trina's final words I felt ashamed; she in a since was right. I did talk about Jade a lot, just not intentionally. I should have known that Trina felt like I didn't care for her anymore, but I was too blinded to see how she really felt. My face fell downwards as I couldn't take looking at my sister who was usually always so boisterous and animated was now almost in tears. I knew I had to make things better between us somehow show her that I do care, that I do love her and that I do want her to always be my sister.

I looked into her brown tearing eyes feeling my own water, "Trina I'm so so sorry. I never knew you felt that way. It's just Jade's my best friend and she has been for a long time. I've gotten used to her always being there you know being my status quo. I didn't stop to think about how you felt because I didn't think it ever bothered you."

She looked at me with sad eyes trying to take in my words. "And I do love you Trina you're my sister, my only sister. I wouldn't trade you for anyone else. Even if sometimes I feel like I want to kill you, I know you probably feel the same way about me sometimes," I laughed lightly trying to lighten the mood.

Trina chuckled as a tear ran down her face. I wiped it as it streaked down her tan cheek. "But you bring out the best in me Trina. You make me do things that sometimes I don't even want to do that later on realize I was too afraid to do. That's what an older sister does, right; help her younger sister be better than she expected."

Trina smiled at me, "Yeah, yeah that's what big sisters do. I love you Tori okay, don't ever lose sight of that. Honestly if it were just me as an only child I wouldn't have anyone to tell me how great I am."

I laughed at that there is my Trina. She can be annoying, but that girl can make you crack a smile. "Okay so now that we've talked about this is it too much for me to ask if Jade can stay? I mean I know I said I threw this slumber party for you so you could mingle with all the popular girls in order to get in with them, but…"

Trina cut me off before I could finish, "Yeah its fine. I can tell she means a lot to you. But if she comes anywhere near my hair with her scissors Tori, I swear Jade will lose an arm!"

I laughed again at her attempt to be tough; I doubt Trina could take Jade. Jade's just too Jade.

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><p><em>Jade's POV<em>

After a while of waiting, Trina and Tori finally came back into the room. Both seemed happy again so I'm guessing they made up. Tori came back and sat down on her sleeping bag taking my hand once again in hers. "So are you kicking me out?"

Vega smiled at me, "No. Trina said you could stay."

I raised my eyebrows in surprise, "Huh, I thought she would have."

At this point Tori started to finish painting my nails. "Well she actually let you stay because of me."

"You know that's the only reason I'm here right… because of you. I mean seriously Vega, I was thinking about ditching when you two were talking. I can't take being around a bunch of girls dressed in pink gossiping about boys and singing Britney Spears. You owe me."

Tori started to laugh, "Jade, it's not that bad. You make it sound like you're in pain."

"Oh believe me I am after Trina's singing."

"Jade lay off Trina for a while okay? I don't want her hearing you talk about her at her own slumber party."

"Well well well somebody cares about their poor sister Trina," I mocked her in that special voice I had reserved for only her.

"Jade! I don't talk like that," Vega exclaimed while lightly pushing my shoulder.

I laughed at how every time I did this she would get slightly annoyed. "Chill Vega you know I'm just kidding. Maybe," I winked at her with a full on smirk.

Tori crossed her arms and pouted which only made me laugh more. From there I thought the night would never end. After nail painting we moved on to other stupid things that Trina wanted to do since she was the one technically hosting the slumber party. Of course Tori still helped her out when the girls weren't particularly fond of Trina's ideas like the one where she suggested all of us give her one compliment. Yeah like that was gonna happen. This girl just has to face it, she isn't going to become popular no matter how badly she wants it.

Anyway the night went on with us playing games like blind makeover surprisingly Trina won that, two truths and a lie, shadow buff, volley balloon, and tapper. Not to mention after all that, we stuffed our faces with junk food like pizza, popcorn, various candies including licorice, Vega's favorite, and she specially nabbed me some Starbucks just for me. The night ended with us gathering around the game-room watching a couple of movies mainly comedies and a few gushy movies, but no horror movies to my dismay.

Finally when everybody was sleeping I heard someone rustling in their sleeping bag. I didn't pay any attention at first, but at the sound of thunder outside the window I heard a small whimper. I raised my head from my dazed sleep peering into the darkness. I could barely see Tori now sitting up thanks to the moonlight streaming from the window near us. The rain started to hit the window along with more sounds of thunder striking the earth making Tori whimper even more.

"Vega what's wrong," I asked groggily.

"Jade… can I..." Boom another round of thunder playing outside. "Can I… sleep with you?"

I stared into her coffee brown eyes barely being able to see the fear in them that was highlighted by the moonlight. She seemed so scared like there wasn't anywhere she could go to, but me. Technically I would never do this, but it's Tori.

"Fine. Get in my sleeping bag there is enough room for the both of us."

She quickly got out of her own and slipped into mine. I closed my eyes trying to fall back asleep when I felt Tori's body shivering, whether it was from feeling cold or from the fear of the thunderstorm raging outside. I inched my body closer to hers and now felt the direct contact of her body on mine. I was pressed up against her back feeling the racking shivers of her body. I instinctively wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her even closer to me.

This is the closest that me and Tori have ever gotten physically and for some reason my stomach felt strange. She had relaxed when I pulled her close to me. Her shivers calmed down as her breathing eased when I placed my hand on top of hers.

"You okay," I whispered into her ear.

She whispered back, "I am now."

I smiled into her hair, "Aren't you a little too old to be scared of thunderstorms, Vega?"

I could tell that she was smiling by the tone of her voice. "Yeah, well I've never had Jade West to protect me from them before."

I chuckled against the back of her neck which made Tori giggle at the contact of my breath on her skin. "Somebody's ticklish," I stated.

"I can't help it," she giggled again as I repeated my actions.

I chuckled again, but this time into her brown soft wavy hair that smelt of citrus. "You smell good Vega," I said as I inhaled a little more deeply.

"Thanks." At that she took my arm that was around her waist and started to sniff it.

"What are you doing?"

"Smelling you."

"Why?"

"You said I smell good and I just wanted to know how you smell."

I practically almost burst out laughing. "You're strange Vega," I chuckled a little louder than planned.

"No I'm not," she countered.

"You're smelling my arm," I stated. "You could have smelled my hair instead."

"Well I'm not facing you and I don't feel like turning to face you I'm too comfortable."

I grinned at the tone of Tori's voice no doubt she was slightly pouting now. "So? Do I smell good to you?"

"I'm not answering that."

This girl has to stop from making me want to laugh loudly."Oh come on Tori tell me… or I'll make you sleep by yourself again."

"No. Okay fine… yes you smell like vanilla."

"Do you like vanilla?"

"A lot… yes."

My grin got even bigger, but then it fell slightly as I realized what I was feeling. I had butterflies in my stomach or more like moths that were raging as Vega had taken her hand from under mine and placed it on top. "We should get some sleep… since you are going to have to wake up early to go back to your sleeping bag. I don't want anyone to see us like this," I said a little too seriously.

"Thanks Jade. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Vega."

After a couple of minutes, I could tell Tori had fallen asleep as her breathing became very steady. I drew my eyes away from the falling rain on the window and closed them trying to fall back asleep. I felt Tori's fingers intertwine within mine as her back pushed further into my chest. I was sure she was still sleeping and not doing any of this on purpose, but it didn't change the fact that it felt good. That she felt good against me and that her tan warm skin was making my pale warm skin heat up even more. For some reason I had the impulsive need to touch her tan legs, but I couldn't since my left arm was against my side and my right arm was around her waist. I settled for nuzzling my face closer into hair letting her scent envelope me. Something about this felt right and with that last thought in my head I kissed the side of Tori's neck very lightly letting sleep overtake me.

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><p><strong>Thanks for reading! Hope the chapter didn't suck for y'all. Reviews are<strong> **like coffee to me need them to keep going! :D**


	9. The Popular and The UnPopular

**Wow it's felt like forever since I last updated, but sorry for the delay school work keeps taking up most of my time. I hope everyone has been enjoying my story so far and thank you for the support! **

**I do not own Victorious I just own my Ford Escape named Jade. :)**

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><p><strong>Tori's POV<strong>

"Hey, Tor-ii!"

I heard someone slam their hand on top of the lunch table causing me to flinch while my eyes wandered up, stopping my munching on my carrot. It was like the sound was magnified in my ears causing me to register who had said my name. Oh it was Ivy.

"Hey Ivy," I said softly through a mouthful of my carrot.

She was staring at me with her poison green eyes not at all anything like Jade's emeralds. Ivy was flashing me her bright white smile as she said, "So you mind if I sit? Course not."

Ivy wasn't really asking me; she just assumed I wouldn't mind. Truth is though… I kinda do. I mean I know Ivy and the infamous Click (Stacy& Tiffany) are seventh graders, but it doesn't mean I am crawling to them for approval like Trina.

"I just wanted to say that you threw an awesome slumber party. It was great me and the rest of the girls surprisingly had fun," she said with her all too sweet smile still plastered to her face.

Man if Ivy keeps smiling like that, she won't be able to show any other form of expression.

"Yeah well I'm glad you and everyone else had fun, but you know… it was Trina's party. She came up with it all by herself," I said while giving her a quick smile.

"Aw, don't be modest Tori it was mainly you… everyone knows."

I hesitantly smiled not really wanting to take the credit. Silence gathered between us as the sound of the noisy cafeteria carried on, but was all too soon broken by Ivy's voice.

"So listen I noticed you were sitting alone. Why is that?"

"Well umm… I don't really know anyone in this lunch."

"That's not true… you know me and the girls."

"Well… I actually hardly know you all," I spoke back sheepishly.

Ivy giggled, "Then there you go silly, that's why you make _new _friends. So how about it huh? Join me for lunch?"

I fairly smiled, "Uhh… lunch is almost over…"

"Oh no big! How about a rain check? Next time would be perfect."

I wasn't too sure of what to say, but I was going to go with my gut feeling.

"Coolness, then I'll see you next time Tori. We usually sit in the quad out there," she pointed towards the window behind me. "It's like our own little VIP section you'll love it."

And with Ivy's last smile and with a wave of her cream colored hand she was gone. She didn't even give me a chance to answer. My real answer… was _no._ I _definitely_ have to talk to Jade about this. Heck maybe even Trina. She's bound to find out if I have lunch with 'The Click.'

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><p><strong>Social Studies Room 405 the Next Day<strong>

I was sitting in home room waiting for Jade to get here. I always get to school before she does and Jade always arrives close to the last bell. Occasionally, on most days she arrives late. Today was one of those days I came to conclude as the tardy bell rang throughout the entire school.I could practically hear Jade saying 'If you're not late it's not an entrance.' But that was Jade being_ dramatic_. She has to be according to her if she wants to become an actress.

As if on cue when Mr. Fletcher was beginning to address the class Jade loudly swung open the door strutting into class in her usual cool manner.

"Ah, Miss West making another late entrance I see," Mr. Fletcher looked to Jade with disapproval in his old dark grey eyes.

Jade quickly smirked at Mr. Fletcher then her all too known pursed lips returned to her face as she retaliated with, "That's funny, I didn't know I had to follow father time's personal clock."

I mentally smacked my forehead with my hand. Gosh Jade do you have to talk back to the teachers; it only lands you another round of detention. I looked worriedly to Jade then to Mr. Fletcher wondering what punishment he would give her now. By the looks of it I wasn't the only one. The whole class was consumed in the daily antics of Jade West. Sure this wasn't new to us, but I got to say Jade does put on quite a show.

"That's enough Miss West. I believe you just earned yourself an extra hour of detention today," Mr. Fletcher said calmly apparently not surprised by Jade's actions.

Jade's pursed lips turned into a scowl, "I guess you have nothing better to do today after school do you."

At this remark the kids all ohed with open mouths. I frantically looked back and forth from teacher to student. Mr. Fletcher fidgeted slightly with the pen in his hand.

"Well Miss West you just earned yourself a second hour. Would you like to keep going?"

"That depends do you still having nothing better to do… cause my schedule is kind of full. I'm not sure I can make it."

"Three hours detention," Mr. Fletcher stated as he ran a hand through his gray white hair.

"Look old timer no offense, but I got things to do besides be a form of entertainment for you. I mean don't you have to go play bingo at an elderly center or something? Pass a kidney stone?"

At this remark Mr. Fletcher turned scarlet red; a shade I have never seen on him before. "You have detention every day for this entire week! Three hours every day after school and on Friday you have four!"

Jade was simply unfazed by the way he raised his voice, the tomato red shade his face had gained, his blue popping vein in the center of his forehead, and the way his hand twitched. She simply rolled her eyes in annoyance, "Whatever. You done yet?"

"One more word from you Miss West and I swear I will send you to the principal's office."

Jade's eyebrows raised in faked surprise, "Who Helen? Oh yeah me and her go way back."

He very sternly commanded, "Take a seat now." Mr. Fletcher had had enough. I could tell this was Jade's last warning. If she didn't stop he would definitely send her to Principal Helen… and knowing Helen she wouldn't give Jade anymore chances.

Jade was about to retaliate, but I pulled on her black long sleeve blouse since she was standing right beside me. Jade turned her head to look down at me; our eyes meeting as a silent moment of communication passed between us. She knows what I was trying to say. That's the thing about Jade only I get her; everyone else just misunderstands her. She rolls her eyes once again and walks around a row of desks making her way to the her seat right next to me.

All the while, the class still watches Jade, watches Mr. Fletcher and they even look at me. Surprised that Tori Vega can tame the wild Jade West. As Jade takes her seat Mr. Fletcher finally resumes lecturing the class. I look to Jade who to anyone else would seem annoyed, but to me I see pleasure. Behind those green emeralds I don't see anger I see victory, behind her scowl I see her trademark smirk, behind those drawn down eyebrows I see one raised in amusement. And sure enough as she catches me staring at her during the lesson Jade shows me all those expressions.

Once the bell rang announcing the end of first period, Jade and I made our way among the many students to our lockers. In the hallway, I trailed behind her trying to keep up with her pace. Jade sure did walk fast. Finally after escaping much of the traffic of students we stopped at her locker. She started to put in her combination when I said, "Jade, why do you insist on getting in trouble every day? I mean really I don't see the point."

She opened the locker door and turned to face me. "Ah Vega so naive aren't we. Look I get that you're concerned about me and all but I can take the punishment teachers dish out to me. Plus I have a reputation to uphold."

"What reputation! Jade you're going to get expelled if you keep this up. And…I just…I can't..."

"You can't what Vega," Jade looked into my brown eyes inquiringly.

I looked down at my sneakers avoiding her intense emeralds, "Lose you."

She chuckled at my worries, "Tori everything is fine…don't worry. I won't get expelled…okay I'm just having a little fun."

I raised my head to look at her, "Ha! This is your idea of fun! Jade something is seriously wrong with you!"

She smirked at me, "Well if there is something wrong with me there must be something wrong with you too. Why else would you continue to hang around me? Don't you remember I already told you I have to practice acting?"

I chuckled as I tucked a strand of my brown hair behind my ears, "You seriously need to go to some special school that deals with all that. I mean can't you just practice at home or something?"

"No… acting can come up at any moment and when better to perform than in real life."

I smiled at Jade, "If you say so. Oh crap… we're going to be late to class!"

Both of our eyes got big at the realization that we had been talking and lost track of the bells.

Ding! At the sound of the bell Jade and I said our goodbyes as we both sprinted in opposite directions to our next class. I stopped running to quickly look back at Jade who had just started to walk again. Really Jade? I heard her say to herself, "Hm… I'm already late might as well walk."

I rolled my eyes as a big smile came to my face no doubt another performance would be in order and with that I turned back around running the rest of the way to my class.

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><p><strong>Room 215 English<strong>

I sat once again waiting patiently for Jade to arrive to English. Hopefully she wouldn't be late this time and cause another scene. I still had to talk to her about lunch… I hadn't told her that I would be having it with Ivy and 'The Click'. Sure Jade and I don't have lunch together, but I still don't think she will be happy when I tell her. She's not particularly fond of Ivy and her crew. Jade thinks they are a bunch of stuck up wannabes who eventually will start getting plastic surgery done in high school… in Jade's words 'Wannabe Barbies' always seeking perfection.

I was struck out of my head when a loud thud hit my desk. Two black combat boots were now on top of my desk. I turned my head to my right meeting Jade's precious green eyes.

She raised an eyebrow at me with a small smirk on her lips, "Don't mind, do you Vega?"

I narrowed my eyes at her, "Yes actually I do mind. Jade if Mrs. Nelson sees your shoes on my desk you know she is just going to ask you to put your feet down."

"So," she quipped backed bored.

I sighed, "Jade… behave please?"

"No," she flatly answered.

I pouted slightly, "For me?"

I knew I had Jade now she just couldn't resist doing things for… well only me. Plus, she knew behaving herself had to be done; she couldn't get anymore detention unless she wanted to risk getting close to suspension. In Jade's case, that actually might not be such a bad thing, but she knew I'd be miserable without her here.

Jade leaned her head back grunting as the bell rang signaling the class to start. She then raised her head back up, rolled her eyes at me, and removed her black combat books from my desk. I smiled inwardly proud of the fact that Jade for the most part only listened to me. The class began as Mrs. Nelson started writing on the chalk board about today's lesson. That woman really needs to get up to date; other teachers these days have dry erase boards. I tried to stay focused, but the whole lunch thing was really bothering me. Telling Jade about it… but it wasn't only that. It was something more…something about this whole thing didn't seem right to me. One thing is for sure though… I have to tell Jade. If she finds out from someone else I'm pretty sure she would want to rip my head off for not mentioning it to her. So as Mrs. Nelson droned on about her lecture I tapped Jade on her shoulder.

She turned her head slightly to me trying to still pay attention to Mrs. Nelson's gravel voice. "Hmm," she mumbled to me.

I whispered to her, "Jade I need to tell you something." She nodded her head signaling me to go on. "Uhh… well you see…I'm having lunch today… but with…'The Click'.

Jade's eyes went wide as she turned her head fully to look at me now. "You're what," she hissed at me.

"Jade listen… it's probably not as bad as it sounds. It…"

"It's a death wish Tori. Don't you get it? Those plastic Barbies will eat you alive."

"Okay you're being a little too overdramatic don't you think."

"Overdramatic…really Vega," she seethed. "Once girls like Ivy get their hands on you they don't let you go Tori. She wants something… I don't trust her."

"So just because you don't like her I shouldn't be around her."

"That's not what I'm saying."

"Then what are you saying Jade?"

"Ivy is not a good person even if she seems all smiles. She'll get under your skin Vega."

"I don't get why you hate her… she is always nice to me."

"To _you _Tori, but just look at the way she treats others."

I don't get it. Did Jade not want me to have any other friends besides her? I know Jade can be a little bit jealous at times especially when it comes to me like the whole Daniel field trip incident… but did she seriously not want me to talk to someone because she said so. I have never seen Ivy be mean to anyone… she just comes off a little strong.

Jade was analyzing my skeptical expression and I knew things might be rocky between us if I chose to have lunch with 'The Click'. She sighed, "Look I'm not going to stop you from having lunch with them, but I know you Tori. I know that you feel insecure about hanging out with them… why else would you be running it by me?"

As I was about to speak Mrs. Nelson beat me to it, "Ladies, is there something you want to share with the class? I have been hearing you two bicker with each other for the past five minutes."

Oops I guess Jade and I weren't as quiet as we thought. I timidly replied, "No Mrs. Nelson we're sorry."

"Well then the two of you don't mind facing me instead of each other do you now."

At the eyes of the other students and Mrs. Nelson I felt my cheeks flush. Jade rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms turning her body to face her now, "It's my _dream_ to look at you all day Mrs. Nelson", she responded sarcastically.

"Jadelyn I will have none of your sarcasm in this room! You understand me?"

Jade let out a long sigh, "Yes your grace."

"Jadelyn," Mrs. Nelson screeched.

"Yeesh can't you take joke. Seriously you need to lighten up Mrs. Nelson… maybe a massage or something. A date wouldn't kill you either."

"Detention! I'll see you after school! Be prepared to clean my chalk board!"

Jaded snorted, "Ugh… what else is new."

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><p><strong>Lunch Time<strong>

After English I tried to walk with Jade to her next class like I usually do, but this time she didn't wait for me. She just took off without saying goodbye. I sighed aloud as I walked to my locker; the final bell ringing to notify everyone to be in class. Of course I had lunch so it was okay if I took my time. I opened my locker to deposit my unnecessary books and to grab my homework for tonight. I stuffed my homework into my book bag closing my locker and heading to lunch. I hope Jade won't be too mad at me tomorrow I mean it's just lunch and it's only this one time. My shoulders slumped slightly as I made my way to the cafeteria. I mean really what am I supposed to do; Ivy didn't give me much of a choice.

When I entered the lunch room, I directed myself towards the snack bar prepared to order, but I was stopped in my tracks.

"Hey Tor-ii," Ivy greeted me with her all too big bright smile. "I was wondering when you were going to show up. I thought maybe you were going to ditch us."

I awkwardly chuckled, "No I was just grabbing some stuff from my locker."

"Well all that matters now is that you're here. So come on you said today you would have lunch with me and the girls…so let's go," she said cheerily.

I followed behind Ivy's long red swaying voluminous hair. Today she was wearing a beige colored skirt that stopped close to her knees but still showed a good amount of her cream legs, with a hot and light pink striped long sleeve shirt and black heels. Sure Ivy was just a year older than me, but boys did always look at her because let's face it; the girl's body was more _mature_ than others. Ivy was at the point where…a girl's body starts to _develop_. She had breasts unlike most girls who were still flat chested or who were barely developing. And not to mention her body had a bit more curves than most girls at this school.

I stumbled out of my thoughts when Ivy and I entered the quad in the courtyard. I took in the place…_wow_ it was actually really nice out here. In the quad, there was a big tree in the middle casting shade over three slate grey tables distributed in a form of a triangle. There were also two wooden benches further behind the tables along with slate grey rectangular columns covered in a bit of moss that held many white flowers.

Ivy broke me out of my trance, "Pretty neat huh."

She must have taken in my look of awe at the quad, "Yeah it's beautiful, I never even knew this was here."

Ivy smiled, "Yeah neither did I…I discovered this place last year and ever since then, it's been like our own personal little hang out."

"Our? Oh right where are the rest of the girls?"

"They just went to get some drinks and napkins. Daniel got his parents to bring some pizza for us. You know Daniel right?"

My wandering eyes landed back on Ivy's poison green eyes at the mention of Daniel's name.

"Uh…yeah I think he's in my math class. Is he having lunch with us?"

"Sure is, him and his two friends Toby and Jake. And of course you know Tiffany and Stacy. Yeah when I mentioned to Daniel that I invited you to have lunch with us he was all psyched about it. Go figure huh. "

I was a bit taken by surprise, "Really? I mean I don't really talk to him…so."

"Yeah I don't know he said that you would totally fit into the group. Which he's not wrong about you know," Ivy said while she waved to somebody. "Hey guys over here! Look who I brought!"

My stomach was starting to feel in knots as I slowly turned around and met Daniel's dark brown eyes from the entrance of the quad. He definitely had grown taller since kindergarten not to mention he was rather easy on the eyes. He had that nice boyish grin, his hair was no longer black but now dark brown and those gentle brown eyes were just so…welcoming.

I never really looked at him till now even if we had math together I wouldn't really pay attention to him since I was focused mainly on Jade. The three boys and the two girls soon approached us.

Tiffany – "Oh cool Tori's having lunch with us!"

"Everyone this is Tori Vega," Ivy motioned to me.

I shyly waved to everyone and smiled. My eyes meeting each person, but drifting back to Daniel's.

"Well we're glad you'll be joining us for lunch," Daniel smiled at me.

Jake – "Can we eat already? I'm starved."

Stacy – "Ugh Jake all you think about is food."

Everyone laughed at Stacy's comment.

Toby – "Yeah but he's not wrong you know. I'm hungry too."

Tiffany – "Well I got the drinks."

Daniel – "I got the pizza. Let's dig in!"

We made our way to one of the slate grey circular tables. Daniel sat across from me while Ivy sat next to Daniel, Tiffany and Toby sat next each other towards my left, and Stacy and Jake sat next to each other on my right. Everyone dug in and grabbed a slice of pepperoni pizza while taking sips of their sodas. It seemed that they were all grouped together like each girl had their guy…and I began to wonder is Ivy with Daniel?

Ivy – "So Daniel how do you and Tori know each other?"

Ivy looked from me to Daniel who was now looking into my eyes.

Daniel – "Well we have math together…but technically we met in kindergarten."

He chuckled as he cracked a smile, "Actually it's kind of a funny story the way we met. Umm…Tori cut my hair while I was sleeping during nap time."

Everyone's eyes went big as they looked to me with mouths open.

"Whoa! Did you really do that," Toby questioned me with excitement.

I didn't know what to say I just started to fidget with my hands trying to form a sentence, but ultimately coming out empty. Daniel chuckled at my obvious nervousness.

"Yeah Tori's a bit of a rebel," Daniel mused.

Jake – "Why'd do it?"

I looked to Jake then at Daniel, "He ugh ticked me off."

Toby – "Remind me never to get on your bad side."

Everyone laughed as I smiled timidly. The rest of the lunch went surprisingly well…everyone was super friendly and they all made me feel like I belonged there. As if today was any other day at lunch they joked around with me and made me laugh a lot. Things felt light and playful; something I hadn't really experienced with a group of people. When lunch was about to end Daniel got everyone's attention by putting his fingers in his mouth and whistling loudly. At the sudden loud noise they all turned to face Daniel and stopped their conversations with each other.

Daniel stood up from the slate grey table and picked up his remaining soda, "Well I know it's a bit strange to make a toast, but I think today was better than most. So…I want to toast to Tori...for having lunch with us. Let's hope she joins us again. Cheers."

Everyone wooed with Daniel as he finished his statement and began to clash his soda can with the others around him. Some drinks making a sloshing sound from the contact and others making no sound at all from already being emptied. I smiled as Daniel clashed his soda can with my own he in return smiled a crooked grin at me.

The bell rang ending lunch as we all said our goodbyes and catch y'all laters. The boys were the first to leave while Daniel looked back one more time in my direction, his dark brown eyes meeting mine once more. Then Stacy and Tiffany left leaving me alone with Ivy.

After the girls exited the quad, my focus returned to Ivy who was now beside me. We started to walk to toward the exit when she said to me, "Tori I'm so glad you decided to have lunch with us. You had fun right?"

I smiled, "Yeah I did, it was really nice. Thanks for inviting me by the way."

Ivy – "It's no problem, but you should seriously think about having lunch with us every day."

"Oh umm…well I'm flattered but I have 3rd lunch on blue days."

"Ahh okay I get you…well on these days you're welcome to hang out with us if you like. Think about it and don't be shy; everyone totally loved you so no worries.

We exchanged smiles with each other and soon afterwards went our separate ways to our next class.

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><p><strong>Tori's House<strong>

Lunch today was definitely an experience I thought to myself as I was sitting on the couch watching T.V. My mind was still drifting back to it…to the laughs and to Daniel. Everyone did generally seem nice and for some reason I just felt included…included in something bigger. I was a part of something…or I could be a part of it…this group as Ivy mentioned. Being so caught up in my thoughts I didn't hear Trina making her way towards me.

"Tori," she hollered near my ear.

"Ahh," I yelped as I dropped from the couch onto the beige carpet. "Trina don't sneak up on me like that! Are you crazy I could have swung at you!"

She laughed, "Ha like you would ever really hit me! Come on Tori toughen up will ya!"

With a befuddled look on my face I said, "What's that supposed to mean!"

"That you get scared too easily…and here I thought having a freaky friend like Jade would toughen you up, but guess I was _wrong_," Trina sang in terrible sing song voice.

I took offence with a slight frown on my face, "Jade's not a freak…she's just misunderstood."

Trina snorted, "Okay _whatever._ I don't want to talk about her I want to talk about _you_! Why didn't you tell me you were going to be having lunch with _The Click?" _

I rolled my eyes, "_Ugh_…Trina it completely slipped my mind," I lied.

"Yeah right! Come on Tori I'm not stupid! Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't tell you…because…because if I did tell you the day before you would have flipped out on me. Actually not on me…on them _The Click!"_

"No I wouldn't," she countered me.

I gave her a skeptical look as I raised my eyebrows, "Really Trina? I know you…you worship the ground those girls walk on… and for what? They are just like everybody else."

She gasped in shock, "_Just like everyone else_! Have you lost your mind! Tori they are the popular girls!"

I shrugged my shoulders in a whatever manner. Trina obviously annoyed with me rolled her eyes.

"Okay I'm going to explain this to you once and if you don't get then too bad," she looked at me as if she were trying to explain to a five year old not to touch things in the store. "Look when you get to high school everything is going to be way different from junior high. And I know what you're thinking it can't be _that bad,_ but _oh yes it can_!"

I interrupted her, "But why?"

Trina's eyes got big as she scolded me, "Tor-ii don't interrupt me!"

"Okay sorry," I raised my hands in an exasperated manner.

She rolled her eyes once more, "Thank you. As I was saying before you interrupted me, high school is going to be tons of _drama_… drama that you may not like. So you see, in order to avoid that drama you join a _group._"

"Like a gang?"

Trina gave me another one of her annoyed eye rolls along with her how are we even related looks, "_Yes Tori just like a gang... _no! This isn't _Grand Theft Auto_ you know! Gosh sometimes I don't even know how we are related."

I raised my eyebrows once more while I made my eyes get wider, "Yeah I was just thinking the same thing."

"Okay whatever back to my point. You join a group right called a _click..._like The Click themselves are a group. So you have friends with the same interest and they have your back. Then there is the whole social status thing which in junior high isn't that important, but it starts to build anyways. Like take yourself for example, you don't really know much about this stuff because you only have one friend. Which is really sad…so that makes people think you're a bit of a loner."

"But doesn't being a loner mean it's just you," I gave Trina a confused look with my eyebrows scrunched together.

"Alright _Tori,_ I don't have time for you to go all smart on me so just listen up okay. The real main point that I'm trying to tell you is that people LIKE you, but Jade stands in the way. Kids see you hang around her and it freaks them out. That's why some people don't talk to you because they are afraid of Jade and see her as a loner."

"But Jade's my friend Trina," I stated confused at what she was trying to imply.

"I know she is Tori…I know she is, but you have to think about which friends to choose. Which friends are good for you…and I know she means a lot to you…it's just that people are going to change Tori. Whether you want them to or not…Jade might eventually change and do things that you wouldn't want to do or she may never want to do things you want. You just got to think about picking the people who are going to help you shine Tori. And I'm not saying dump Jade as a friend…I'm just saying that sunny bubbly people like _The Click…like Ivy _can help you shine."

Trina gave me a weak smile hoping that I would take it all in and hopefully understand. I looked into her brown eyes and then to the carpet as I wrote Jade's name with my foot. I let the silence cover us like a heavy blanket. A blanket I wasn't sure I wanted to take off…the silence I didn't want to break for the fear of what I was starting to comprehend.

Trina placed a hand on my shoulder, "Whoever you choose Tori just know that both can't exist with each other…the popular and the unpopular can never get along.

At that she rubbed my shoulder a bit and gave me one last small smile before she went back to her room. I watched her disappear into the hallway as I sat back down on the green vintage couch. I had a choice to choose between Jade, my best friend of six years or to choose these people that I barely even know. Of course I choose Jade…she's my best friend I would never leave her for _anyone_ else.

I might be all sunny and bubbly while Jade is my complete opposite, but I don't care. She may be the moon and I may be the sun, but the night and the day have to coexist with each other. And when the sun and moon come together they create a solar eclipse. A rarity and a sight to see so why would I throw away a solar eclipse for just the day? My mind was made up even if being popular is important I choose to stand behind the moon…behind Jade.

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><p><strong>I hope this chapter wasn't so bad it's not exactly my favorite, but the point of it is to build up problems. Let's see what happens between Jade and Tori. Reviews and any feedback keep me going. :)<strong>


	10. Confrontations

**I probably say sorry a lot for taking forever to update, but I really do appreciate the people who don't give up on my story. It means a lot thanks :)**

**Hope everyone has a great spring break! **

**I do not own Victorious**

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><p><strong>Jade's POV Late to Class<strong>

"Jade please talk to me, you can't ignore me forever. What did I do wrong? At least tell me that."

Vega won't give up and I hate that. I _hate_ that I can't talk to her about this… the way I can talk to her about anything else. This is just too much… too much for me to even comprehend for myself. I pick up my pace trying to get out of sight, but just as I am about to round the corner of the empty school hall she grabs my wrist. I feel my beating pulse beneath her warm hand, my heart going crazy at her touch. No! I can't feel the way I do Tori is my _friend_! I'm about to pull away, but brown meets green when I turn to look at her and I can't move. I feel immobilized, frozen to the spot unable to even blink.

My name falls from her lips, "Jade?"

A plea for answers to this mess, to this confusion we have both have been going through. Her confusion of course is of why I'm acting the way I am towards her, but my confusion... it's more complicated. It goes beyond Tori's worry it is about _her… _and the way she makes me feel. I don't understand why… I just know that when I'm around Vega I start to feel different.

"You hate me don't you? For spending time with them… with The Click," she searches my eyes hoping to read my thoughts. I still don't answer afraid to say the wrong thing… afraid to do something that will scare her. Maybe I should scare her… lie to her, make her believe I do hate her. So she stays away from me, so she can have _normal _friends.

I tug my wrist away from her grasp, but Tori grabs my other wrist and holds me tighter. She pulls me closer as I struggle to free my wrists and in that swift second Vega throws her arms around me. I am taken by surprise not expecting her to hug me. Tori's arms are around my neck as she clings to me sobbing into my neck.

"Jade _please _(sniffle sniffle) don't hate me. I… I need you and I know… you need me too."

I can't take the fact that I am making her cry so I wrap my arms around her waist pulling her closer into me. My body is on fire from having her body pressed so close to mine, my heart keeps beating faster as her breath falls onto my skin, and I shutter when I feel Tori's muffled words mouthed by her lips into the crook of my neck. My eyes flutter close as I gasp at the contact of her soft lips.

"I miss you… I miss spending time with you."

My heart aches when she says this because I miss her too… but Ivy made something clear to me. I didn't even realize it until that night at the slumber party when I kissed Tori on her neck. A simple small kiss, but it changed something in me. I break out of my thoughts as I feel Vega's chest start to rise and fall normally again. She's calming down… that's good but I don't think what I'm about to do will keep her calm. Her arms are still around my neck as she is waiting for me to say something.

She pulls back a bit to look into my eyes, "Jade?"

I let go of her waist, grab her arms and remove them from my neck placing them to her sides. I am looking into her coffee brown eyes… the eyes I have become used to and I know that after this moment Vega may never look at me the same way again. The love she has for me… may very well turn into hate… and I have to deal with that because it's for the best if she hates me like the way she thinks I hate her.

What do I do? I don't kiss Tori, I don't tell her how I feel, or how confused I am no I simply turn away from her and walk. I walk away not even so much as glancing back at her… That's it. I chose not to say anything to her because I don't understand it all myself either, but I am trying to protect her as crazy as that may seem.

* * *

><p><strong>Jade's POV Flashback<strong>

Ivy- "I know your secret."

I was putting up some things in my locker when I heard her from behind me. I rolled my eyes what does she want? Can't she just go jump in front a bus? Harsh I know but Ivy is a witch… though for some reason people seem to think I'm the evil one.

I let out a huffed breath not even bothering to turn around, "_Really_…what secret would that happen to be?"

She could probably tell I wasn't taking her seriously from my tone of voice… but frankly I didn't care. Ivy may be able to intimidate others to do her doing, but not me. If anything, I know I get on her nerves mostly because I don't give into her the way everyone else does.

Ivy- "I saw you kissing Tori Vega at the slumber party. That ring a bell?"

I could practically see the smirk on her face from the way she said this, and I didn't have to be looking at her to know. She was highly pleased with herself at the moment. My body had tensed a bit when she said this… that's the thing about the human body even if you don't want to show it; sometimes your own body betrays you by reacting on its own. I'm pretty sure she noticed my stiff shoulders now and how my back became rigid.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I said coldly.

Ivy- "Why don't you turn around Jade? Afraid I may see that the big, bad Jade West is scared," she taunted me.

I tightened my jaw as I placed my last book into my locker. It was a good thing no one else was around since it was after school. I served my agonizing time for detention today… but now I wondered if Ivy had been waiting all this time to confront me? Surely little Miss Priss doesn't get detentions. I turned around to finally face her; she had a big, smug smile on her face knowing that she struck a nerve in me.

"Is that why you are hanging around Tori? To try and get to me?" I was curious why all of a sudden Ivy showed interest in Vega.

Ivy- She chuckled humorlessly, "I always had my eye on Tori. There is just one _little_ problem standing in the way. You want to know what the problem is… it's_ you_. Tori is just too lost to recognize where she really belongs."

I pursed my lips, "And who gave you permission to say who Tori can't and can hang out with? You don't own her Ivy… she's not one of your wanna be Barbies that you can control."

Ivy- "Oh come on Jade, you of all people should know someone like Tori Vega belongs with the popular kids _not_ the rejects. See I didn't have anything to really back up why Tori should turn against you, but now I do. All I have to do is tell her and she'll come crawling to The Click."

My green eyes met her poisonous orbs; two completely different shades of green burning holes into the other. "That might be true… but Tori is better than you and you know it. She won't believe you… and as a matter of fact I know she doesn't. You know why? Because you're here now… trying to get me to bend to your will… problem is I _don't_ follow the rules let alone yours."

Her smug expression dropped; Ivy may have struck a nerve, but I pierced through her skin. "I'm right aren't I? You already told her and she doesn't believe a single word you said." This time I chuckled, "Try what you will Ivy, but you know as well as I do that she'll never leave me not for your friends, for popularity, or even because everyone else says so." I gathered up her expression seeing that she knew I was right. Vega was just as stubborn as me and even more so when it came to _me_. If Ivy wants to play a game, she should know I am going to play by my own set of rules.

Ivy- She finally broke the silence and smirked at me, "You think you're the only one who has tricks up their sleeve? Ha, good plan on trying to turn the tables on me, but guess what... I don't need Tori to turn on you… all_ I _need is for you to turn on her."

I narrowed my eyes wondering what she could possibly do to make me turn against Vega. My mind began to race as I glared into her liquid poison eyes.

Ivy- "Tori may not believe me, but you and I both know what I saw at the slumber party is true. You kissed her and that makes you a _real _freak. You said she was too good for me… well she's too good for you. Tori deserves _normal_ friends not _freaks_ like you."

I looked down to the black grey squared pattern floor my eyes burning. "That's not true," I said in almost inaudible small voice not at all like my usual self. I felt like a small child trying to make themselves believe Santa Claus was still real.

Ivy- "Oh, but it is… so I'm only going to tell you this once. Stay away from Tori, stay away from me, in fact just stay away from every girl at this school… you _dyke_."

I looked up at the last word Ivy spat at me; she had a disgusted look on her face directed towards me as if I were some type of disease.

Ivy- "If I see you talking to Tori anymore, I'll tell everyone at this school what you really are. A god damn _lesbian_."

At that, she gave me one last threatening look and left… left me turned to stone with her poisonous slits. I stood by my locker rooted to the spot trying to grasp everything. A lesbian…I can't be? She's wrong; she's just trying to keep me away from…Vega. Vega... do I have feelings for her… for my best friend?

How can I? She's a girl and… I'm a girl? But why did I kiss her? I thought back to that night… how having Tori close to me felt right, how everything in my body felt… how I kissed her on her neck. I couldn't come up with a rational reason to why I felt the way I did and how even now it dawned on me that Ivy might be right… I refused to let all this in.

Ivy is smarter than I give her credit for; she knows that not only will I do this for myself, but I'll do this for her too…for Tori. If the kids at school find out, they'll pick on her…use her against me. They will hate her...and I rather have Vega think I hate her than have everyone else judge her for feelings she doesn't even have for me.

I kicked a locker feeling my anger build up… my mind was set from now on Tori Vega has to mean nothing to me. My eyes were building up with tears, but I held in the hot liquid. I thought I had pierced through Ivy's skin… but she cut right through my skin striking the bone.

* * *

><p><strong>Tori's POV<strong>

I stood there in a fixed state staring in the direction she walked away in. She just left… without even saying anything to me. I waited a minute thinking she would be back… that just may be _this_ was one of Jade's jokes. A cruel one but never the less a joke…right? Wrong… it wasn't a joke because that minute dragged on and she didn't come back.

This time she built a wall and I don't think I can break through it…not this time. Its different. Jade has tried to shut me out before… but the way she looked at me was cold… stale like I was another shade of the white walls around her. I didn't understand what her eyes portrayed for her body said otherwise. When I hugged her she held on tight pulling me even closer… like she was afraid to lose me but knew she had to let go.

I don't understand what is going on? My chest rises and falls as a rack of sobs shakes throughout my body. A couple of days ago we were fine…we were like before. I mean I know I have been having lunch with The Click, but I didn't stop hanging out with her for them. Ivy just kept being persistent always inviting me to have lunch with them... and I didn't want to be rude and tell her no.

But gossip does spread like wild fire, Jade must of heard like most of the school, that now I was a part of The Click. Another two rumors that had also been going around were that Ivy was supposedly my new best friend, and that Daniel had a crush on me. I wasn't sure about the Danny rumor, but I know Ivy is_ not _my best friend. I knew the truth… but I guess for Jade these rumors engulfed her in the smoke.

I felt more burning tears sting my face, I can't believe Jade would be so quick to judge me. To be fooled by these rumors. Didn't my tears and persistency show her I was still her friend... her _best_ friend? I didn't go to the rest of my classes, instead, I ended up crying for hours in the girls restroom. Yeah I know pathetic Tori just get over it, move on, make new friends... yet I don't want anyone else.

I heard the front door to the girl's bathroom squeak open, hoping deep down inside that just may be, maybe Jade had noticed I wasn't in our last two classes and decided to come look for me.

"Tori?"

My heart sank as I recognized the voice it wasn't Jade, it was Ivy. I don't want to deal with her right now… she may mean well but I just want Jade to hold me. I don't think I've _ever_ missed Jade this much before… guess that's what happens when you are losing your best friend… you feel like there is _no _one else who will get you the way they do… the way they _once _did.

Ivy- "Tori, it's me Ivy... I know you're in hear. One of the girls from our class told me she heard someone crying. Just come out of the stall so we can talk."

I opened the door stall walking slowly out as I quickly glanced at her and then bowed my head in defeat looking at the floor.

Ivy- She sighed, "Jade?"

I brought my head up at the mention of her name my bottom lip quivering from thinking of Jade's cold distant stare from earlier. I bit down on my bottom lip trying to hold back any more tears from erupting. I shook my head up and down letting her know that yes it was Jade who had broke me down.

Ivy- She looked at me with sympathy, "Want to talk about it?"

I shook my head from side to side not feeling up to talking at all… at least not with Ivy.

Ivy- "You know it's not healthy to keep things inside Tori… trust me?"

Trust her? I hardly know Ivy well enough to really talk to her openly, but that doesn't stop me from actually letting it all out. I don't know whether I am choosing to talk about it because of the stress of my breaking relationship with Jade or if it's because I am warming up to Ivy?

My voice comes out weak and low, "Jade's not talking to me. She's been ignoring me for days now…and I…I miss..."

At the thought of having Jade hate me I break down once again into a mess of salty tears. My body shakes as my breathing feels constricted in my throat. Ivy walks closer to me and places her hand on my shoulder rubbing it to try and soothe me.

Ivy- "You know Tori, maybe this is for the best. I mean I know she's your best friend, but maybe Jade's _changed_."

I looked into Ivy's poison green eyes studying her concerned expression and words in my mind.

Ivy- "Remember when I told you Jade _kissed_ you at the slumber party while you were _sleeping_?"

"Yeah…but Jade…she wouldn't do that. She's not like that Ivy," I looked at Ivy expectantly trying to reassure myself.

Ivy- "That may be what you want to believe… but I know what I saw Tori. Jade had her arm _wrapped_ around you and she _kissed you… _on _your neck_."

"Yeah but she was just being affectionate… which I know Jade isn't most of the time, and I don't think there was more to it than you think."

A pause of silence falls between us. We both looked to each other and Ivy seems just as pensive as me.

"Plenty of girls who are friends hold hands, hug each other all the time, and some even give each other kisses on the cheek," I said to Ivy presumably.

Ivy was considering what I just said from the scrunching of her eyebrows together.

Ivy-"That may be true… but why else would she be _avoiding _you for? Just think about it Tori, it makes _sense _when you put it all into place."

Could it be true? Jade having feelings…for me? I dismissed it from my mind, "Or maybe she heard the rumors that have been going around school… about me being a part of _your _click."

Ivy- "I don't know what is wrong with Jade… but I just think that if she is avoiding you all of sudden, maybe she is afraid you'll find out about her _true _feelings for you. And as for the whole rumor thing about you being part of The Click I am not _forcing_ you Tori, I am _welcoming_ you if that's what you choose."

She gave me a small smile while she gave my shoulder a squeeze. I tried to smile back, but I'm pretty sure the curves of my lips didn't even go up.

"Thanks Ivy for the offer… but I need to fix things with Jade first."

Ivy- "Look I know this is hard on you… but if things don't work out between you and Jade I'm always here if you need to talk. You have more friends than you realize Tori. And don't cross out the possibility that Jade might be a _lesbian_."

My body tensed at the word lesbian… after all I don't really get it. A girl and a girl? Isn't that wrong? I mean it's just supposed to be a boy and a girl right? I felt observant eyes staring at me, Ivy was taking in my reactions as I took in her composed stature. Maybe she knew more about this than I did.

Ivy- She smiled bigger this time an almost sly smile, "Let me know how things work out, okay. I have to go if not Mr. Andrews will send someone to look for me. Don't want him to think I am skipping. Bye Tori."

I watched her red hair and slim form disappear out the door. I wiped the remaining tears off my cheeks and began to think about what Ivy said before. A l_esbian_…Jade being a _lesbian_? Was this is even normal? Its unusual right…I mean…actually I'm not sure what I do mean. I just feel _so _confused right now.

I miss Jade, but I don't get why she is ignoring me… and now on top of that if what Ivy said is true… how do I feel about that… about Jade possibly liking me as more than a friend.

* * *

><p><strong>Jade's POV 405 Social Studies Mr. Fletcher's Class<strong>

It had been three weeks now… three _painful _weeks of not talking to Vega. I act like she means nothing to me… I don't even as so much glance at her theses days… _well _at least when she is around I don't. How does she act? Tori still looks at me when I walk through the door of our classes together, her coffee brown eyes glimmering with hope. She hopes that maybe today I will talk to her, but that _never _happens.

I keep my distance now… I moved from my usual seat next to her towards the very back or the very front depending on where in the class there is a seat far enough from her. But even all the distance I put between us doesn't stop the fact that I miss Vega. That I constantly have to _fight_ with myself to keep my feelings at bay… feelings I'm afraid of. Some days when I wake up, I find it hard to breathe normally because it feels like the air around me is harder to inhale.

If I inhale the air, sometimes I think the pressure inside my lungs will make them explode… collapse within my chest. So here I am again staring at Vega when she's not looking. I watch her writing on her paper, head bowed and eyes intent on the work in front of her. She's gotten used to me no longer being a part of her day to day life… at least I think so. I see her often now hanging around others, more girls and more boys. It seems like Tori's made more friends these days… and maybe that's a good thing. After all that's where she belongs… with people who aren't _freaks_.

I've heard in school so far Vega's joined the 'Wanna be Barbies'…guess soon enough she'll be plastic too.

* * *

><p><strong>Tori's POV Mr. Fletcher's Class<strong>

Some people might say I'm better off without Jade… now that I have more friends. But its like no matter how many friends I have none had her smile, her emerald crystals, none were her. Sure it may seem to some that I was okay, that I no longer needed Jade… maybe it even seemed that way to her? I wouldn't know anymore. Jade has shut me out of her world and put me out in the water. It's like I'm sailing on the ocean alone and she's the island I had been stranded on for so long.

Some would say aren't you glad to be off the island? Maybe few would be happy, but after a while of being stranded for so long that island becomes your shelter. Jade became my constant… my shelter, but now I'm out in the open not sure which way to go. As I relay the thoughts within my head, I feel someone's intense gaze on me. I look up from my work, turn my head sideways to my right to be met with those piercing green emeralds. Our eyes lock onto each other for a split moment. I can see her usual blank expression is still in place, but her eyes say something different.

This is the first time in a long time that we have both acknowledged each other. Her eyes linger on mine and I can see a slight light… that light she used to look at me with before. Could she possibly miss me as much as I miss her? Her gaze soon drops from my eyes, maybe she realized I found something… something she's been trying to bury.

"_Ring, Ring_," The bell rang to dismiss the class. Jade quickly made her way out of the class going back to not bothering to look in my direction. I watched her go and then stood from my seat as I made my way to my locker. "_Slam,_" I slammed my locker door feeling frustrated.

"_Whoa_, somebody's in a bad mood today," Ivy stood in front of me now with her wavy red in a sleek straight ponytail today.

I was a bit surprised to see her since most of her classes were on the other side of the school. I slightly smiled, "Yeah, well…" My words trailed off for now right beside me _stood_ Jade.

"Vega we need to talk," she demanded. It was like Jade was completely oblivious to Ivy's presence.

Ivy glared at Jade, "Rude much."

Jade glared back just as hard, "No not really."

"Tori and I were talking so if you don't mind-"

"Actually I _do _mind," Jade said angrily.

Silence fell between us as the two girls locked eyes; mine shifted to one and the other. Jade's eyes were practically _burning_ into Ivy's and Ivy's poison eyes were solely on Jade's emerald eyes staring back daggers. I felt like at any moment Ivy was about to combust right before my eyes from the way Jade was staring at her. I have _never _seen her this mad before, this was not like the scissors incident at all… it was way more intense I could feel it. Something is _definitely _up with these two… but question is what do they have against each other?

Ivy grimaced, "Hmph, you might want to be going now Jade or-"

"Or what Ivy? What can you possibly _do_," Jade challenged her.

Ivy's face flushed as she raised her arm and shoved Jade's shoulder, "_Don't test me West_."

Jade's shoulder fumbled back a little as she bitterly laughed, "Is that a _threat_? Of course this _wouldn't_ be the _first_ time would it?"

Ivy tensed, "Yeah you think you're so_ clever_ West, just you wait."

Jade cocked an eyebrow, "Wait for what?"

Again a small silence fell over us. Jade was studying Ivy's face and how alarmed she was. It seemed the more Ivy tried to counter back with Jade, she would always reveal more than she intended… like if she was letting things slip that she wasn't supposed to.

Jade smirked at her, "What is it Ivy…cat got your tongue? Or are you just _afraid _of getting beat up by a sixth grader?"

Ivy's usual creamy skin was turning a bright scarlet red, her poisonous eyes seemed to darken, and her jaw tightened…man is she upset! I don't like where this is going; Jade is just asking for trouble! Ivy raised her arm once more and was about to push Jade harder than before, but failed to do so when Jade drew back.

Jade chuckled, "You're going to have to do better than that Ivy. If you want a _fight, _you better be prepared to back up your words with a couple of punches not pushes."

I swear I thought Ivy was about to jump at Jade from the dirty look she was giving her, but thank god a teacher intervened. "_Ladies_, what is going on here?"

I looked to the random teacher who I did not recognize, but Jade and Ivy never even glimpsed at him. They were both still too busy having a show down staring contest. I dumbly opened my mouth trying to get words to come out, but what could I really say anyway? Oh you know these two are just about to _murder _each other, no biggy, right?

The male teacher spoke up again from our lack of words, "_Okay, _let's take it easy now and head on to class all of you are late as it is… wouldn't want to get in trouble would ya." He must have sensed the animosity between Ivy and Jade, and how I seemed like a small lost puppy caught in the middle of two big dogs about to tear each other up for a piece of meat. He cleared his throat loudly to try to get our attention…well_ their _attention.

"Girls," he questioned worriedly.

The tension was too high and I couldn't let it drag on any further; it was literally eating away at me. I grabbed Jade's upper arm, "Jade? Jade, look at me."

At my voice she turned her face toward me and drew her attention onto me. Her green eyes were almost desperately pleading me… to give her a chance, a chance to redeem herself.

I could tell she was afraid that she had lost me permanently. I squeezed her arm a little tighter about to say something, but Jade pulled away when the teacher once again cleared his throat and ordered us to go to our classes having enough of our confusing drama.

We all went our separate ways; I watched Ivy go to the left and Jade go straight down the hall as I turned away from watching them leave and made my way to the right. I _really _don't have a clue of what is going on… all I know is I want Jade back and from the look she gave me she does too.

* * *

><p><strong>Tori's POV<strong>

It was lunch time now and I was waiting for Jade to meet me in the janitor's closest. I didn't know why she insisted on talking here, but I guess this was the only place she could think of Ivy wouldn't find us.

I paced inside the closet as I opened the note again that she had given me during our English class and reread it once more.

"_Vega meet me during lunch in the janitor's closet, it's the one close to my locker." – Jade W._

I don't really know why I kept rereading the note; this was probably like my tenth time, but I guess I just want to make sure this is the right closest. I kept pacing and fidgeting with the note in my hands for several more minutes, or am I really nervous about talking with Jade? I mean it has been three weeks! _Three weeks_ without a single Vega uttered from her lips, _three weeks_ without a Jade trademark smirk, _three weeks_ without so much as a glance in my direction! _And _now upon all days today she chooses to finally speak to me!

I realize not only am I nervous, but I'm angry too! I am angry at her…for, for treating me like I this!

As if on cue Jade walks in on me and my nervous breakdown. "Where the _hell _have you been I've been waiting here for like thirty minutes," I yell at her.

Jade's eyes go big from my actions, "_Whoa_, cool it Vega it's only been like ten minutes. I'm sorry I got caught up with Miss Nelson. She held me back to have a little talk with me about my attitude," she air quoted the last part.

I took a step forward still feeling my anger rising, "I don't care if she held you back Jade! Why the hell have you been treating me like _shit_ for the past three weeks?"

Jade smirked at me with surprised excitement in her voice, "_Wow_ I didn't know you could get this mad Vega. Let alone start cursing at me."

For some reason this just frustrated me more, "Jade! You're not supposed to be enjoying this!"

"I'm not," she grinned back with amusement.

I swatted her on her arm, "No!"

She was still grinning at me until I said, "Didn't you say we needed to talk?"

Her grin disappeared as her features became more somber. She sighed, "Tori I…I know you're mad at me…but believe me when I say I never meant to intentionally hurt you."

I looked into her emerald eyes as I felt my voice begin to shake, "You didn't just hurt me Jade…you…treated me like I was nothing. Am I nothing to you?"

"No…no Tori you're my best friend…you're the only one who gets me," she said trying to reassure me.

My eyes felt watery, I shook my head from side to side, "I don't know Jade this time it feels different. You've never treated me this way before… and now I don't know if I can just forgive you like as if nothing happened."

Jade shifted her eyes away from mine looking instead at the wall beside me. Maybe this was all too much for her to handle, too much emotions. I know she doesn't like dealing with emotions."Listen to me…I'm not asking you to forgive me, to let me back into your life like before. I just want you to be _careful_."

"Careful," I questioned.

Her eyes piloted back to mine, "Ivy is just _using_ you. Don't you see that?"

"No, I don't believe that…why would she?"

"Because Vega…because she is her! She's a manipulative _bitch _who hates my guts!"

I stepped back from Jade's raised voice, "How can I take your side over hers; its not fair Jade."

"_Not _fair, oh come on Vega! Didn't you see the way she stared at me! The way she _shoved _me! That just proves I'm right! Why are you giving her the benefit of the doubt?"

I stared at Jade and took in how worked up she was now; her chest was rising and falling fast from her outburst. She licked her lips, "Tori _please_…_please_ don't trust her. She'll end up turning on you."

I bit my lip nervously, "Ivy's been really nice to me Jade… these past three weeks she's been a really good friend to me. I needed a friend Jade and you… you chose to walk away from me."

"I'm sorry, okay I'm sorry! I'm sorry I walked away from you, I'm sorry I didn't talk to you, and I'm sorry that I wasn't there for you Tori!"

At this point I could see Jade was really bothered, it seems like she is hiding something… something else though?

"I let you down I know that, but Ivy only wants one thing. She wants _you _to become her slave Tori... one of her little puppets just like Stacy and Tiffany. She's a _bully_ don't you see that?"

I looked at her skeptically, "Jade _why_ would she want that? If she were really a bully she would be bossing Stacy and Tiffany around… and I have never seen her treat them mean before."

"It's only because she is_ pretending_ to be nice, eventually she'll flip the switch and go all Dr. Jackal and Mr. Hide on you! It's an act Tori, a complete hoax! Ivy sees you as a future threat because you're actually nice, sweet, and…"

Jade stopped there. It seemed she was afraid to say anything else. She quickly shifted her eyes to the ground and her hands fumbled with her black jacket zipper, "I lost you didn't I?"

Her voice was quaking as her shoulders slumped downward. "She's your friend now because…because I let you go. Just forget I ever said anything."

Jade looked into my eyes one more time coffee brown meeting emerald green. A tear escaped her damp eyes and ran down her check as she turned away from me about to open the janitor's door, but I caught her arm before she reached the door knob.

"Jade you haven't lost me." I didn't want her to go; I didn't want her to leave me alone again.

"No I have…because any other day you would have picked me over her, but now you… you can't even do that."

Jade pulled her arm away and walked out leaving me once again standing alone looking after her. I finally let my own tears slip… not because she walked away, but because I knew she was right. Somehow the bond we had with each other had been broken… Jade was no longer my best friend anymore because someone else was close to trying to take her place.

* * *

><p><strong>Jade's POV 5 Minute Break towards the last period<strong>

I looked through the crowd of people around me and there I saw Vega open mouthed, complete shock in her eyes. I didn't stop though, I didn't stop hitting Ivy, instead for some reason, I hit her even harder. I got one more punch to Ivy's nose before I was pulled off her by school security.

As I sat in Principal Helen's office the image of Tori never left me. Of her staring at me like she didn't know who I was anymore. Her coffee brown eyes filled with shame… _shame_ directed towards me. I always knew Tori wanted to see the good in me, but truth is there really was never any. I am so destructible…and now maybe she realizes that.

I held a small white rag to my bloody bottom lip as my elbow leaned on the armchair I sat in. I stared at the blood on my black sweater it was not my blood… it was mostly Ivy's. I had painted her face with black and purple bruises; blood smudged her face, her mouth, and her clothes. A violent piece of art I had quickly thrown together. Her red hair was no longer in a perfect ponytail, but instead was disarrayed all over her shoulders. And I even lay streaks of pink paint (scratch marks) across her arms, her face, and neck.

You could say how do you know that Jade? Well she was sitting right beside me in the other green armchair holding a bag of ice to her face, a white towel to her nose and the nurse all the while was treating her. A security guard even stood on my right to make sure I wouldn't try anything. I kept looking in Ivy's direction she was no longer a modern piece, she was now an abstract piece of work that was painful to even look at.

I ran a hand threw my disheveled hair and turned my head to the right as I heard the door open. Helen walked in a look of disapproval in her eyes. This wasn't my first time in her office, but she seemed really upset this time. The other times Helen would actually laugh at my 'shenanigans' as she put it when I told her about them.

Helen walked to her brown oak desk and sat down in her brown office chair. She cleared her throat, "I see there has been an altercation between the two of you."

I looked to Ivy who was still wincing in pain and then back to Helen. She snorted, "So who threw the first punch?"

Ivy spoke up before I ever got the chance not like it would have made any difference, "It was _her_ Principal Helen she hit me first."

Helen looked to me, "Is this _true_ Jade?"

I didn't answer because once again stupid Ivy cut me off, "Are _you _kidding? I am not saying this to be rude Principal Helen but the evidence is all over my body! Just look at me I'm a total _mess_."

Helen looked to Ivy, "Miss Crossly I know you're upset, but I have to ask for both sides of the story. It's only fair."

All the while Ivy dragged on about how it wasn't fair she got beat up, how it was obvious who started it, and she just kept ranting on and on about not being treated right. All I could think about was Tori…and the way she looked at me…I couldn't get her expression out of my head. This time I really let her down… because all this time she stood by me saying I was misunderstood and what did I do? I basically threw it all back in her face when everyone gathered around to see me wailing on Ivy.

"Jade, Jade?"

I heard a voice call my name as my eyes glazed over on Helen's snow globe. I shifted in the green arm chair and looked around me. All eyes were on me one particular set of eyes stared at me with pure hatred. I avoided her gaze as I settled on looking to Helen.

She sighed heavily, "Jade you know fighting is a zero tolerance in this school… I'm afraid to say the odds are stacked against you hun. Starting from today Jade West you are expelled from Sherman Junior High."

My eyes move over to Ivy's and her nasty snake hidden smirk I barely saw beneath the towel she held to her bloody nose. Guess bullying wasn't a zero tolerance at this school, but I decided against retaliating…what good would that do anyway I would still be expelled.

"Jade did you hear me," Helen asked worriedly.

I nodded my head and stood up from the chair then I simply walked out of her office. No one tried to stop me, no one I think really knew why I was in such a zombie like stage, and no one really cared to find out. I made my way out into the bitter cold of the afternoon day, how fitting that today was one of the coldest days in L.A. I dropped the small bloody rag onto the ground as I licked the cut on my bottom lip tasting the rusty, thick red liquid on my tongue. I walked on in the blowing wind not bothering to look back on my past on...Tori Vega. Ivy won the game she beat me emotionally even if I beat her physically. She won over Tori and I lost everything that made me feel.

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><p><strong>Talk about drama! I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter even though it is a sad one. Don't worry though eventually Jade and Tori might get along...or not. <strong>**But hey who loved the last episode of Victorious! Jade and Tori's Play Date is my favorite episode by far! Go Jori! **

**Any feedback and reviews are great! They get me motivated to write more! **


	11. Getting Through

_Oh my god_, I'm _so_ sorry to all my readers! All the postive feedback from my reviews really had me motivated to try to update sooner, and I promise all of you I was going to. I had actually written this weeks ago and planned to post it sooner, but I had the worst of luck! My laptop crashed on me and so did my computer so I had no internet access for weeks! I was and _still_ am devastated cause I won't be able to write or post anything until I get a laptop or get a new computer :{

I'm_ really really_ sorry guys, but i can't thank you all enough for all the amazing postive feedback I _loved_ it so much!

**I do not own Victorious**

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><p><strong>Jade's POV<strong>

When I came home that day with a bloody cut on my bottom lip and blood on my clothes, my mom looked at me and simply said, _"What happened to you? Did you finally get your ass kicked for having such a smart mouth?"_

I guess I walked in at a bad time, _after all_ she was yelling on the phone at someone…that someone probably being my father. I suppose it was the usual fight about another late night at work. Some family I had…honestly I felt more like a piece of furniture than a daughter. You would think what type of parent curses in front of their children?_ Every_ parent does some just more than others.

I shoot my mom an incredulous look and head upstairs to my room not bothering to even protest with a witty remark like usual. Sure my parent's marriage is falling apart before my eyes but to my mom '_it's just a rough patch to sort of speak'_, her exact words not mine. She is the one more in denial trying to make herself believe that she won't lose my dad…but in the end doesn't all love fail?

I slam my bedroom door, the bang echoing through out the house…a kid has to let their frustrations out somehow _right_? I stand in my room looking at it…it really doesn't suite me. The shoe just doesn't fit I registered as I focused on my surroundings; the white walls, the pink bed comforter, the girly porcelain dolls on my beige dresser, the pink ballerina music box, it all feels too _innocent_.

I'm _not _innocent, if anything I'm _tainted_. I slump my back down on the white door bending my legs and settling my arms on top of my knees, I burry my face into my arms and harshly close my eyes.

"_Fuck you! You can go to hell John!" _My mom's angry yelling voice reaches my ears and brings me back to the problems within my own home.

My father on the other hand doesn't see things the same way as my mother…he knows their marriage is beginning to deteriorate. How could he not…both spend all their time arguing these days and ignoring me. The only time they really show any in interest in me is when they put the blame of who I take after, you know the typical well she's your daughter that's why she is such a brat kind of thing. _Yeah well_…there you go Jade West has a dysfunctional home life, what a surprise.

* * *

><p><strong>Tori's POV<strong>

I lay on my bed staring at the ceiling replaying the fight over in my head. My elbows cut through the people around me as I shifted my body to make it through the open gaps left between the students. I pushed through the gathered crowd trying to catch a glimpse of why everyone was loitered together in the halls. At first I couldn't take in who it was from the shock, but eventually my mind registered who it was.

Ivy was on the ground trying to break free, but it was pointless. Jade's legs were spread on both sides of Ivy's stomach enabling her from standing up, as the blows of Jade's fists landed on her now red face. My mouth fell open in alarm as I took in a sharply drawn breath. I think Jade heard me because she looked up to meet my eyes. I wanted so badly to stop her, but my body felt paralyzed in place. Seeing me didn't stop her either, Jade continued her assault on Ivy.

Her punches crashed with more force on Ivy's already red swollen face, Ivy grasped a handful of Jade's hair but Jade _still_ didn't stop. Jade just gritted her teeth and stopped throwing punches. She started using her hands to instead claw at Ivy's neck, arms, and face leaving bright pink scratch marks that drew blood. Ivy screamed in pain as she tried to roll Jade off her. In the fumbling of bodies, Ivy managed to land a punch on Jade's mouth, busting Jade's bottom lip with the impact of her ring.

Jade growled in agitation and very forcefully slapped Ivy on her cheek. The loud smack rang throughout the crowd of students and Ivy recoiled in pain as Jade finally threw one last punch to her nose making dark blood gush out. The blood spilling from her nose ran down into her open mouth causing Ivy to chock on the maroon liquid. She rolled to her side and spit the blood out her mouth. Nurses came to her aid while Jade was dragged away by school security.

As both girls were taken away I stared off in Jade's direction. Her green eyes were once again on mine as I looked to her in complete disbelief. I was embarrassed of her because everyone knew how much I stood up for Jade. How I always _defended _her when they would say she was a freak or scary. This wasn't the Jade I knew…no this was someone _completely_ different.

I felt the tears run fast down the sides of my face at the guilt that swelled inside me. Was I responsible for all this…for the fight, for Ivy's physical state, _for_ Jade's lack of control? I always thought all Jade needed was a friend…a friend to help her, but…I _failed_ her. Jade is- _was_ my best friend…I thought I knew her better than anyone…but today proved me wrong.

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><p><strong>Tori's POV: The Next Day<strong>

**Lunch Time**

Stacy- "Ivy you should have stayed home today. Why didn't you?"

Ivy- "I didn't want to ruin my perfect attendance record…plus I'm okay just bruised up, but I'll heal."

Stacy- "I guess so…as long as that_ psycho bitch_ isn't here you should be safe. I'm glad she got expelled. She _deserved_ it after what she did to you."

I was picking at my salad staring down at the crosshatch open pattern of the cobalt blue table, until I took in what Stacy had just stated. I raised my head up and shot over a dirty glance to Stacy, her amber eyes caught mine in negligence. I felt the anger inside my chest beginning to boil and I wanted to say something offensive to her…but I abruptly stood up and left 'The Click' behind me instead.

I ran out the cafeteria to the navy blue lockers in the hall halting at what use to be Jade's locker. I stared at her locker wishing that just somehow…_somehow _Jade would appear behind me and say, "What you doing Vega trying to x-ray my locker," in her usual teasing voice. But I didn't hear her voice…the only thing I heard was the still silence. I didn't hear Ivy approach me from being immersed in my thoughts of Jade.

"You know sometimes _letting go_ is the best thing to do…even if it is the _hardest_," I jumped at the sound of Ivy's voice not excepting her to have followed me.

I spin around to face her, "I don't want to," I say with difficulty.

She smiles weakly at me, "Tori, I'm sorry…I know what Stacy said was uncalled for, but she's just upset."

"No, she has an _every_ right to be…and _so _do you. Aren't you mad?"

Ivy sighed, "To be _honest_ I am upset…but I know how much she meant to you…so I'm willing to put your feelings first because I care about you."

I looked at Ivy's poison apple green eyes searching for any hidden lies behind them, but found her words to be sincere. It was my turn to smile weakly at her, "Thanks. That means a lot…I just need time to get used to the fact_…_she won't be here anymore. And I'm sorry too."

Ivy quirked her eyebrows, "Sorry for what?"

"That I was the cause of it…of the fight…of you getting hurt."

She vaguely smiled, "Tori it _wasn't _your fault. Don't blame yourself."

I shook my head from side to side, "_No_ it is…because if I had stuck by Jade _maybe_ she would have been okay. I just don't know what made her go off the deep end…I _failed_ her," I felt my eyes begin to water.

Ivy stepped closer to me and put her arms around me in a tight hug. Her arms felt foreign around my body, I was only used to knowing Jade's arms to be the ones who have always wrapped around me. But eventually I gave in and hugged her back realizing she was the only friend I could count on now.

"It's okay Tori…you _didn't_ fail her," she reassured me. "If anything _she_ failed you…and maybe I have no right to say that about her, but Jade was the one who started this. She turned her back on you and then just expected you to hand your friendship back to her."

A brief silence came between us as Ivy released me from her arms, "Who knows what she going through, but it's _not_ your problem to deal with."

I looked down to the floor and at my shoes feeling like my heart had just been splintered, "I should have tried harder to-

Ivy intervened before I could finish my sentence, "Tori she was bad news…_everybody_ thought so…and the _evidence_ is on me. These bruises and scratches just go to show Jade's true nature. She's volatile."

I looked up to meet her eyes and fully took in Ivy's appearance; the black and blue welts that seemed to have landed all over her face, the dried blood that remained from the deep wounded scratch marks, and her still swollen slight red nose. She _really_ was in a bad state…and again I could not believe Jade had done this.

I nodded my head in comprehension, "She crossed a line I didn't think she was capable of. I wanted _so badly_ to believe Jade was different…_misunderstood_…but I guess I was wrong."

Ivy smiled, "I see what Jade saw in you."

I raised my eyebrows in confusion.

"You _truly_ are a good person Tori…I can see that's why Jade liked having you around. She must have felt _**gay **_with you. But hey I should get back to lunch they are probably wondering where I am. Do you want to come along with me?"

"Umm…no it's okay, lunch is almost over so I'm just going to wait out here."

Alright well if you need to talk to someone consider me your _new_ best friend," she winked at me and walked off back to the lunch room.

I pulled my eyebrows downward wondering as I watched her go what Ivy meant by_ gay_? I know she could have meant happy, but in the pit of my stomach I felt there was more meaning to the word than she led on.

* * *

><p><strong>Jade's POV: 6 months later, 7th Grade<strong>

I walked into the new school my parents were sending me to feeling a lump in my throat as I made my way to the front office to pick up my schedule. This is my first day at an _entirely_ new school and I'm _already_ late. Not to mention I don't know anybody here…and this is the first time in _a long time_ that I have actually come into contact with other kids my age. You could say my parents locked me away like some sort of beast, in their minds it was for "_my personal benefit_".

For a while though, they contemplated sending me to boot camp or some reforming school for troubled girls, but settled on home schooling me the rest of my sixth grade year. Supposedly it was the best option for me at the time…but I knew the truth behind their deceptive motives. They didn't want their embarrassment of a daughter to go to a new school right away and have other parents find out about the trouble she previously caused in her last school.

They didn't care…they_ never_ cared.

**Flashback to The Night of The Fight 2:00 a.m.**

Dad- "Look _calm_ down you're going to wake her."  
>Mom- "<em>Don't<em> tell me to calm down Jonathan! You _damn _well know this is entirely on you!"

Dad- "You're overreacting…I think you just need to get some sleep…_we'll _talk about this in the morning."

Mom- "The _morning_! It is the god damn morning John! It's _two_ in the morning and you expect me to be calm about you coming home this late!"  
>I awoke to the sounds of yelling coming from down stairs; no doubt it was my mother arguing with my father. I hazily got out of bed and made my way to the corridor of my home. I stopped near the stairs and peaked near the edge of the white wall down towards my parents.<p>

My mother was facing my father with anger and despair written across her features.

Mom- "Are you…you cheating on me," she spoke to him weakly.

Dad- He sighed, "Why would you think that?"

Mom- "Because _everyday_ you come home late."

Dad- "Well one of us has to make the money around here. And last time I checked Rose I am the man of the house."

Mom- "I know…I know…but can't you just come home a little earlier?"

Dad- "Damn it Rose, you think I have time for everything! I have to work it's _my _company, _my _job, _I_ have to run it! I am tired of you putting this on me!"

Mom- "But what about your daughter John! Don't you care for her! I mean she is practically growing up without a _father_!"  
>Dad- "Yeah well she is growing without a<em> mother<em> too!"

Mom- "How could you say that!"

Dad-"Don't even try to act innocent Rose, you're not exactly without fault either. You are making this about Jade when you _fucking_ know as well as I do that this is always about _you_! I do _everything_ to please you and it_ never_ seems to be quite enough, _is it_?"

My mother looked at my father with anguish, her usual state of composure seeming to have broken. I could tell my father had gotten to her unlike other times because this time she was quiet. The silence filled the air with poison holding all of us in our places.

The venomous silence finally broke when my mother decided to speak. How she knew I was watching them was beyond me…but the next word that left her mouth was my name as she remained with her eyes glued on my father.

Mom- "Jadelyn, I know you're there come out here."

I made my way out of the shadows and looked down at my mother from the top of the stairs. Neither of them looked up at me as I waited looking down at them. My mother looked over in my direction and commanded me to move again, "Come down here_ now_."

I did as I was told and made my way down from the dark wooden steps, my feet feeling cold at the contact. I stopped along side them but more towards in between both of them.

Mom- "_Your_ daughter here got _expelled today_," she said accusingly at my father.

Dad- "_Oh_, so now she is _just_ my daughter? You see that is exactly what I meant by Jade growing up without a_ real_ mother," my father said with a hard scowl on his worn face.

Mom- "_You're _one to talk John…I bring something important up about your daughter and you _never_ show any interest," she seethed at him.

Dad- "Your such a hypocrite Rose..._not_ show any interest? It's _your_ job to look after her and you can't even do that," he bitterly chuckled.

I was just standing there watching them go at each other when I realized my mother only called me down here to try to out win my father. This is just a _stupid game_ to them; _they don't even really care_ about what happened today! I tightened my fists understanding now that both of them wanted to put me in the middle of their delusional marriage.

At the moment my mother was about to retaliate against my father I spoke up.

"_No!"_

They both looked at down at me in surprise not expecting that _this time_ I wouldn't keep my mouth shut anymore.

"_You __**two**__ act like either one of you is better than the other…when in __**reality**__ the both of you are one in the same! You __**don't**__ care! You __**have never**__ cared! The __**only one**__ who ever__** really**__ gave a damn about me was Blue! And __**you**__ fired__him__** mother**__, you__** fucking**__ fired him! He was more of __**my father **__than you ever have been __**dad**__! I…I __**hate**__ you both,_"my voice came out loud, but quavered through, until I steadied myself and uttered the last sentence with firm conviction.

Both of my parents seemed too stunned to speak, finally Jade West spoke up. No not your witty sour remarks, but the actual fucking truth that not one of them had the guts to actually say. I looked to both my father and mother; equal expressions of many different emotions matched their faces. I felt tears about to escape my eyes so I did what every West in this house seems to do, I squinted my eyes shut and stilled my insides.

I felt someone's hand on my shoulder as I shot opened my eyes, "_**Don't touch me**_," I spat at my mother. Her outstretched hand quickly withdrew as if I had burnt her with a flame. I looked up at her, our eyes meeting. Intense green blending almost together, we closely almost share the same shade of green but her eyes are darker.

The only difference now is my eyes are _still, cold, evasive_, and filled with _hate_. She must have noticed my complete switch from vulnerability to hardened stone because my mother now looked at me with actual concern. Not that I care…why should I care if they never do?

I switched my gaze over to my father and saw that he was clearly as phased as my mother. The silence among us weighed thick…and I could not stay still any longer. I turned away from them and made my way back up the stairs to my room. Not one of them said anything as I left…maybe there really were no words left to say because I had said it all.

Soon the images of my dark bedroom filled my vision as I lay back down on my bed. I was going to change…this room was going to change…everything was going to change.

* * *

><p><strong>Present <strong>

I now made my way to my first period class among the halls of Kingsville Junior High. The good thing about being late was you don't have to face the students among the halls…the _down side_ is when you get to class everyone looks at you as soon as you walk in. I did just that as I walked into Mr. Lenard's math class feeling _all_ eyes on me. I quickly looked for a vacant seat, but the only seat left was at the very front.

I scanned the room over once more, eyes still glued to me as I made my way towards the seat in the back near the window where this blonde emo looking skater guy now sat.

"_Hey you get up_," I directed at him.

He looked at me stunned not really knowing what to say. Beside him sat this other boy smiling at the blonde all the while I was waiting on him to move. The boy with blonde long emo hair and light blue eyes remained gawking at me with his mouth in a slight o shape.

"_Now_," I demanded, my eyebrows rose in impatience as I crossed my arms and tapped my foot.

The boy beside him chuckled, as the blonde emo kid finally stood up confused and took the seat in the front. The class furthermore stared at me like if I was crazy but come on I wasn't going to take the_ worst_ seat up in the front of the class, Jade West takes what she wants. Anyways whatever I finally took my new empty seat.

After that, the teacher called roll as I looked outside the window feeling a pair of lingering eyes on me. I side glanced my observer and found it to be the boy who laughed at the blonde kid. I ignored him, I mean I don't know why he is staring at me, but if he doesn't stop soon I might just have to do something about it.

First period dragged on until the bell rang to dismiss to second period. I dashed out of the class trying to avoid everyone else. When I made it to my second period, I sat once again near the back this time not having to force anyone to get up and move. The classroom was practically empty right now filling the space around me with quiet…but it didn't last too long when someone else entered the room.

_Ugh_, it's _him_ again, the boy who kept_ staring_ at me during the whole hour of first period. I swear if he- _great just great_ he sat next to _me_ again! I pursed my lips together and crossed my arms over my chest as I leaned back sitting in a very unlady like manner. He glanced around the room drumming his hands on the desk while starting to whistle. _Ugh, kill me_.

The classroom soon filled with more students as the minutes passed by, the same blonde kid now entered the room. He was about to make his way over to the boy who sat alongside me, but he stopped when his eyes zeroed in on me. His light blue eyes grew wide like saucers as he stared at me and his_ pal_ I assumed. The emo blonde walked up the aisle closest to him and took a seat in the front once again. The tan colored boy next to me laughed out loud.

_Hmph_…must have scared him good, whatever I don't really care. Once all the students situated themselves, Mrs. Briggs, my Social Studies teacher, started to call out our names. This time I actually listened unlike in first period when I spaced out.

"Wayne Dickson," Mrs. Briggs called.

The blonde emo kid raised his hand timidly…poor kid what a name, I mean really _Wayne_ then last name _Dickson_, were his parents high?

"Beckett Oliver."

"Umm, Beck actually," the tan colored boy next to me answered.

"_Okay _Beck," Mrs. Briggs said with a quirked eyebrow as he nodded in approval.

_Beckett _really! What, does everybody in this school have weird ass names?

"Ja-," I cut Mrs. Briggs off before she could fully finish saying my full name.

"Jade," I stated flatly with pursed lips.

"_Alrighty then,"_ she replied with surprise.

The tan colored boy, _Beckett,_ excuse me _Beck, _looked at me with a grin on his face. If I didn't know any better I would actually say he found me funny from the way he was trying to restrain his laughter by biting his bottom lip. Ugh, I hate it when guys bite their stupid bottom lips, I mentally noted to myself.

Second period dragged on the same as first, and so did the next two classes. The rest of the day felt tirelessly as finally the last bell ending the day rang. I made my way out of school speedily and decided against riding the school bus home. Instead I took the actual city bus home even though I had to pay a fare.

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><p><strong>West Residence<strong>

I got home around 5 from school having dismissed at 3:00. As I opened the door to my house with my keys, my mother was waiting for me arms crossed in disapproval. _Great_…now what did I do.

I remained in silence taking in her appearance. She was wearing a red, silk dress blouse that was tucked in her black business skirt that met at her knees, and her usual long dark brown hair was picked up in an elegant bun with a few strands of wavy hair falling on the sides of her pale face. A lot of people would say I look like my mother, but I try to always look different from her.

"I see you're finally going to an interview to be a secretary, congratulations," I sarcastically stated.

She scrunched her dark green eyes at me, "Jadelyn, I'll let that slip since you have had me worried sick for the past two hours! Where have you been young lady you should have been here around 4 at the latest!"

I rolled my eyes in annoyance, "So you care now," I said dryly.

"Don't take that tone with me Jadelyn, answer me now. Where were you?"

I sighed loudly, "I took the city bus home, happy."

"No I am not happy, are you crazy? What were you thinking Jadelyn? There are a bunch of creeps out there, you could have gotten kidnapped," my mother stated frantically.

My eyebrows flew up in exasperation as I crossed my arms defensively, "_I _can take care of myself I have been doing it for the past six months now."

She scowled at me, "And what exactly is that supposed to mean?"

I sneered at my mother, the corners of my mouth pulling up in a slight grimace, "_Exactly, _what it's supposed to mean_ Rose_."

Her mouth gaped open for a second until she regained her composure and demanded me, "_Rose…_Jadelyn you will not call me by my name you shall address me as _your mother_ are we _clear_?"

I sourly smiled as I sarcastically retaliated in the mocking voice I had done to only Vega, "_Why sure mummy dearest_."

My mother turned a shade red, "That's enough, and stop talking like that! You do that way too often!"

It was true even though I didn't want to think of Tori anymore; thoughts of her never seemed to stop creeping into my head…and I guess that's why sometimes I try to imitate her voice…because I miss hearing it. I shook my head from those thoughts quickly not wanting to breakdown in front of my mother…I would never give the satisfaction of seeing me _truly_ broken.

I chuckled wickedly, "_Look _this has been fun and all but I got homework to _**not**_ do so bye."

I turned away from her and made my way to the stairs halting as she called my name.

I turned my head to look at her, "What."

She brushed the creases of her black skirt down with her hands, "I am going to go see your father at work right now. So I'll be back in a little while and _we_ will talk about the bus incident with your father when he gets home."  
>I cocked an eyebrow, "Yeah okay whatever, he is hardly home so I don't see how that is going to happen. By the way <em>Rose <em>its _Jade_ not _Jadelyn_."

"What did I say about calling me by my first name?"

"Look you should get going if you want to see John. Oh yeah, _Rose _you _have to earn _the title of my mother," with that last statement I made my way up the stairs not looking back at her dark green eyes which I know were filled with pain.

My mother has started to show more pain lately in her eyes…guess the guilt of not caring for me was starting to get to her.

* * *

><p><strong>The Next Couple Days at School<strong>

Tuesday was just like Monday and so were the other days. Every day felt like a routine for me. I wake up, go to school, and go home…boring I know. I sighed aloud during fourth period as I waited for the bell to signal for lunch. Once again I felt a pair of eyes staring at me, _seriously_ him again! He has been doing that for these past _four_ days! That's it I am not going to take this creepy onlooker shit from him anymore!

I turned my body to face him during the lecture that Mrs. Benet was giving for English. "_What_!"

His chocolate brown eyes shot open wide in suddenness.

"_So what do I have something on my face? Am I mutant? Have you never seen a girl or what because I'm pretty sure there are a bunch in this room right now_," I quirked my eyebrows inquiringly as I spoke swiftly.

Beck, the tan colored chocolate, brown eyed boy simply smiled at me.

"_Speak_," I commanded as if I were talking to a dog.

He chuckled, "Sorry," he frankly stated.

I rolled my eyes at him, "Yeah whatever, just keep your eyes to yourself from now on. If not I might actually have to claw them out."

Beck smirked at me as he licked his mouth and pulled in his lips in a tight thin line.

I continued to glare at him with pursed lips.

"Feisty huh," he said to me with a big smirk on his face.

I shook my head in annoyance as the bell rang dismissing for lunch. I strode out the class with my cold scowl in place tightening my hands around my messenger bag. God I hate that kid…stupid Beck!

**Lunch Time **

The cafeteria was getting packed as I sat at my usual table off to the side with a view near the big window. No one dared to sit at my table since everyone was too scared of me, which I actually didn't mind…I prefer to be alone. Who needs friends _right_?

My mind was about to drift to that very dangerous place which I had locked away over the past six months, until four boys sat at my table! What the hell! I shook my head in confusion trying to see if this was actually happening. I looked from boy to boy realizing the blonde emo kid Wayne and my pervy on looker (I assume he is a perv since he keeps staring at me in class) Beck are in the group.

I gather that these guys must be the "skaters" from the way they are dressed. Whatever, doesn't _mean_ they can sit at my table even if they look rowdy.

I snort loudly, "You can't sit here," I bluntly say.

The guys all look at me confused while munching on their pizzas, Beck drinks his soda and clears his throat in awkwardness.

"_Are you guys deaf_," I bitterly spit out.

Wayne clears his throat and whispers to Beck, "Man I told you we should go _she _scares me…I think she worships the devil or…"

My green eyes turn to slits as I shoot a dark glare at Wayne letting him know I caught what he was saying. He quickly evaded his eyes from mine and bowed his head low hiding the rest of his face with his blonde emo hair. Beck chuckled at Wayne's fear and took another bite of his pepperoni pizza.

This time another one of the boys speaks up, he has black hair styled into a Mohawk, "_Well _you see we would move, _but_…all the tables are basically taken and well there is this '_click'_ they kinda made us move."

I felt hot anger begin to rise inside me as I remembered Ivy and her click. I spoke to the black haired boy, "Which table are they?"

He scrunched his eyebrows together in confusion, "Umm…that one over there."

I looked to the direction of where he pointed his finger and saw this group of five girls sitting at the only black circular table in the cafeteria (figures that was the table the guys liked). I stood up from my seat and made my way to the table of bimbos. I now stood behind the only blonde girl in the group who was talking avidly to the rest of the girls.

She was saying something about her new top she had on. My guess would be how it was the latest thing in and how expensive it was, you know its one of a kind bullshit. Anyways I remained behind her till one of the girls pointed at me while she made her leader aware of my presence. The blonde girl looked up at me, her dark blue eyes clashing with my green.

"There isn't enough room, sorry," she said rudely.

What a snob let see if she listens, "_Move_."

She looks back up at me indifferently, "_What_?"

"You heard me move...you stole this table from those guys over there _so get up and move_," I motioned towards the skater boys.

She followed the direction of my finger and laughed, "Yeah right. If you want me to _move_ you're going to have to _make me_."

I licked my pursed lips as I now smiled with one eyebrow raised, "_Okay then_…"

I walked to her side and grabbed the spaghetti on her tray with my hand and slapped it on the front of her new white blouse.

She gasped, "_You bitch_!"

I remained smiling at her with amusement, "You said to make you so, well I think you get the point."

She hastily stood up from her chair and looked at me with ice. The rest of her girls stood up too trying to clean off the spaghetti that remained on her shirt.

One of the brunette girls spoke up, "Natalie lets just go…come on we can try to clean it in the restroom."

"_Clean it_! _Are you kidding me it's ruined_! _That bitch ruined my new shirt_," Natalie exclaimed while pointing to me.

I smirked at her, "The name's Jade West."

She huffed, "_I'll get you Jade West! You just wait_!"

Natalie stormed off with the other four girls remaining on her heels. I looked to my left hearing a whoop come from the boys as they made their way over to their old table.

"Oh yeah! That was_ so_ badass! We are _so_ keeping her," the black haired boy with the Mohawk exclaimed.

I pulled a quizzical look on my face, "What am I a _fucking_ pet."

The three guys sat down, high fived and were all noise as I felt _his _arm around me. I looked up at Beck since he is a good two inches taller than me he had swung his tan arm over my shoulder.

He was smiling at me like an idiot being the only one who caught my little snide remark, "Welcome to_ our_ group."

"Fantastic," I said passively while I rolled my eyes.

Beck laughed once more as I shot a glare into his chocolate brown eyes, "Shut up Beckett."

And that's how I joined Austin, Ryan, Wayne, and Beck…

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><p>So I hope you guys liked this chapter I honestly worked really hard on it to try and post it, but you know what happened...so yeah.<p>

Review and tell me what you think! Hope you all like where the story is going so far! ;)


	12. Tori Who?

**So this chapter is mainly about who Tori is going to become and I hope that you guys enjoy.**

**Thank you to all my readers and reviewers love every one single last one of y'all!**

**I don not own Victorious**

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><p><strong>Trina's POV 2 Months into 8th Grade Year<strong>

_Look at her_…_just look at her, who does she think she is!_ I watched Tori spill a girl's tray from across the lunchroom. I_ can't_ believe she just did that! I don't know what is up with her lately? It's like my sister has been inhabited by some superficial clone, and_ usually_ I'm the one who is the superficial one out of the two of us.

The laughter of 'The Click' reaches my ears as I see Ivy, Tiffany, and Stacy laughing at the poor small girl with crooked glasses. The nerdy girl has apple juice spilled all over the front of her white long sleeve shirt, along with a pizza stain that will never come out. _Poor kid_…why on earth would Tori pick on someone smaller than her, it's not like the girl did anything to her? The small girl with crooked glasses and a messy ponytail ran out the lunchroom at her growing embarrassment.

I watched Tori's expression from the rest of 'The Click' out of all the girls she was the only one who's eyes weren't really smiling. Yeah Tori has a smile on her face and seems pleased with herself, but I can tell my sister is hiding something. At first when Tori joined 'The Click' I thought everything was going to sky rocket for me! I was _so_ excited now that I had an in into 'The Click', but Tori never invited me to have lunch with them…_not even once!_

And recently she has been acting like a total snob…I'm not even that mad of the fact she hasn't included me into the group…_okay_ maybe a little, but I am more concerned than anything. Slowly after Jade got expelled I noticed Tori changing. For a while she was sad; I mean the girl practically cried _every _night over Jade. I know she didn't want me or mom and dad to know, but I could tell Tori was really hurt.

I didn't understand it then…but now I think I actually _kinda_ get it. It's like Tori was Jade's good half and Jade was Tori's bad…does that make sense? I don't know I'm still trying to understand the relationship they had…I could never see why those two were friends…but they pulled together like magnets.

Anyway back to my point, Tori was mopey for some time then _bam!_ Out of nowhere it's like someone hit a switch inside her and she just became a whole new person. She started mouthing off to teachers, talking back to our parents, and began bullying other kids younger than her! And that still isn't the end of it…_**Tori has a boyfriend!**_ _I mean an actual boyfriend not some pre-teen crush! _

_I know what you're thinking,_ how could have my little sister landed a guy before me! _I'm the irresistible one, come on seriously just look at me_! Now where was I getting at again? Oh yeah anyway, I _still_ can't believe it either. I always thought I would be the first one with a boy to bring home, and of course the whole popularity thing…but it's like Tori has beaten me in all of that. And I don't mean to sound so self-centered but…it's like I'm looking up to my little sister instead. Shouldn't she be looking up to me? Not only that but Tori's been ignoring me now…and _that_ scares me.

Tori's POV 2 Months into Seventh Grade Year

I watched the small sixth grader with crooked glasses and a messy ponytail run out the lunch room. Her small light brown eyes had held watery tears which I'm sure by now were running down her face. I smiled at the approval of my friends' laughter…_my friends_. It still sounded so foreign to me…to now call _these people_ my friends.

It had only been six months after…I was about to trail off into the deeper part of my innermost memories about a certain _green eyed girl_ until Ivy's voice pulled me out of my reverie.

Ivy- "Tori, come along let's go meet up with the guys."

I remained still for another second, keeping my eyes fixed on the exit the small girl had ran off too. She didn't deserve that I know…but that didn't stop me because I had to do it. I know what you might be thinking _you had to_? _Really_ Tori you couldn't stop yourself?

The truth is no I couldn't have…I finally turned and followed the rest of 'The Click' feeling the guilt residing down into my new shallow heart.

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><p><strong>Jade's POV 2 Months into Seventh Grade Year<strong>

"Dude! Gimmie it, stop hogging the ketchup!"

Ryan started to laugh at my attempts of trying to snap the ketchup bottle from his hands. I flailed my arms wildly trying to land my own hands on the ketchup bottle in order to pry it from Ryan's scrawny tan hands. He kept pushing me away with his scrawny pointy elbows as they dug into my side.

"Ouch! You asshole that hurt," I hollered at him when I felt his dagger of an elbow dig deep into my rib cage.

He laughed at the amusement he was apparently having from teasing me. Ugh, I hate when he teases me. Ryan is the one who teases me the most out of all the guys. Guess its 'cause he is _too_ _stupid_ enough to know that eventually _all_ this fucking teasing is going to get old, and I will end up seriously kicking his scrawny ass!

"Ouch! Fuck! What the hell Beck, what did you do that for," Ryan hollered out this time.

Beck smirked and chuckled at the view of Ryan rubbing the side of his left arm as he took a seat across from him. "Well for starters stop hogging the ketchup, and secondly stop being such an ass."

I laughed out loud at Ryan's facial expression. He now had a very offended look on his face like the time I told him he sucked at skate boarding, but truth be told he was actually really good, I just lied. I was lightly messing with him, but he ended up taking it to heart. Ryan is a bit weird the way he acts all tough, but everyone can tell he is as sensitive as a twelve year old girl.

_Plus_, he should know better than to take what he can't dish out. Anyways, back to the matter at hand of Ryan looking at Beck with a deep frown. As my laughter increased Beck began to laugh too.

"Aww come on Ryan, I was just messing with you…but dude you need to stop messing with Jade so much, _eventually_ she'll end up kicking your ass."

I smirked at that and loudly bawled into Ryan's ear, "Ha!" I quickly snatched the bottle of ketchup from his hands at his startled look from forgetting that I was sitting right next to him. Thanks to Beck I could finally eat my pizza with the red saucy substance that I had now poured onto it.

Beck chuckled as I stuffed the pizza into my mouth eating like an _actual_ guy. Man if I keep hanging out anymore with these guys I think I might actually grow a penis. I _never_ used to eat like a guy…let alone sit like them, I realized as I took in my posture. Beck remained staring at me along with the rest of the guys.

"What," I mumbled through another mouthful of pepperoni pizza.

The guys remained gawking at me. This is getting old! Every time I do something out the ordinary they always end up staring at me like a bunch of idiots. Jeez I'm not the only girl out there who eats like a pig, I'm sure! Not to mention I'm super hungry today since I missed breakfast so it really isn't my fault I'm scarfing down right now.

I swallowed the bite down and yelled at them defending myself, "What! You guys eat like pigs too!"

Eight pairs of different colored eyes shot wide open. Beck was the only one trying to restrain a laugh by pulling his lips into a thin line. The other three just looked like they were about to crap their pants.

I glared at him, "Ah, shut up Beckett."

He grinned this time putting his hands up in defense, "What? I didn't say anything."

"_Sure you weren't_," I sassed him.

His grin remained, "Actually Jade we were staring at you because you have a little ketchup on the side of your mouth." He said while he gestured with his index finger towards the own corner of his mouth.

"_And_ a little on your cheek," Austin added in.

I shot a glare at Austin as I grabbed my napkin and wiped the entire side of my face making sure not to miss a spot. I knew he was trying to imply that they _were_ staring at me devour my pizza, but whatever.

"You're welcome by the way," Beck gestured towards me.

I met his chocolate brown eyes, "And exactly why would that be?"

Beck smiled his crooked smile, "For coming to your rescue."

My eyebrows shot up incredulously, "_Ha ha, _Beck _you're_ such a knight in shining armor."

"Well hey I do my best to save ladies such as yourself from starving on a day to day basis," he said proudly as he rolled his skinny shoulders.

I rolled my eyes and quipped back, "Very funny Beck, but I wouldn't have actually starved."

He smirked at me, "Who knows Jade you might have, I mean you and I both know Ryan wouldn't have handed over the ketchup."

"Well ain't I a lucky gal," I said dryly.

Beck simply smiled wider than before and took a bite out of his pizza. That's the one thing about Beck, he can tease me and I don't mind 'cause it's not the annoying teasing, it's just playful and light. Out of all the guys I guess you could say Beck has become my favorite…he gets me and he isn't afraid of me like the other three. But still I keep a distance between us…I can't get close to someone again…not like the last time.

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><p><strong>Tori's POV Later On Towards the End of the Day<strong>

"_Look_ nerd either you do _as _I say or tomorrow you're going to have to deal with more than a stained shirt," I said coldly to the same small girl that I had picked on earlier during lunch.

This was a daily thing for me now, and for _her _too I suppose. Unfortunately she was my victim and I had to torture her without remorse. You might ask why? The simple answer is Ivy _my _best friend. Confused as to why my best friend is the cause of me acting like a crazed bully? To answer all that I would have to go back six months…but those memories are too painful to relieve…the brief version is much easier.

Ivy was very friendly and nice to me during those first couple of months…but one day that all changed. She showed me her true colors when she made me choose a side.

**Flashback**

I spotted her amongst the many students in the hall; she was walking towards her locker when she collided with another girl. Both girls dropped their books, but only one of them started to pick up the books on the floor. Ivy seemed impatient as she crossed her arms and began to tap her foot as if she were waiting on the other girl to hand her, her books. The girl on the other hand had only picked up her own books and had left Ivy's scattered on the ground.

Ivy snapped suddenly and slammed her hand on top of the other girl's books causing them to hit the floor again. At that moment my feet unconsciously carried me over to her direction. As I approached them I heard Ivy say, "Don't think you're going to just walk off without picking up my books. Your _fat ass _is the one who crashed into me _so_ therefore I believe you have to pick them up for me."

My mouth dropped a bit from being taken aback by Ivy's rude remark. The chubby girl attempted to pick up her books off the ground once again as she knelt on her knees, but Ivy put her foot on the book the girl's hand was going to. "_Pick up my books_," Ivy demanded menacingly.

At that I spoke up from behind her, "_Ivy what are you doing_?"

She turned to face me, her red hair swaying to the side as she met my eyes. "Oh hey, Tori. Well_ I_ was heading to my locker when _this _cow bumped into me and made me spill all my books."

My eyebrows drew down in confusion, "Yeah I saw that…but why are you…being so…_mean_?"

Ivy sighed as she took her foot off the girl's text book looking back down at the kneeling girl. "_Pick up my books_ and get a move on fat ass. I have business to attend to."

The thick girl finally caved into Ivy's demands and proceeded to pick up Ivy's books. The chubby girl stood up from her knees and handed Ivy her belongings. Ivy smirked, "_Good _you listened. Now you can go stuff your face with Twinkies and lock yourself up in a restroom stall to cry about it."

The girl had tears forming in her eyes. At the sight of this smaller thicker girl about to breakdown in front of me, my heart constricted in discomfort. I made my way closer to her and began to pick up her books seeing that she was too distraught to even move at that very moment. Ivy interjected at once, "Tori don't pick up her books. Let her do it she _needs_ all the exercise she can get."

I had one book in my hand when I looked up at Ivy seeing her face full of repulsion towards the chubby girl. At Ivy's remark, the girl's tears finally fell and she ran off leaving her books behind. Ivy laughed, "Couple more calories to go and she might lose a pound. Oh wait no, come to think of it she'll probably gain a pound from going to stuff her face instead."

I looked at her unsettled from her behavior. I voiced my concerns, "_What is going on with you_?"

Ivy looked at me with her apple green poison eyes and smirked, "Okay Tori guess now is a good of a time as any…_so _let's cut the confused looks and I'll get straight to the point."

My eyes remained glued to her's as I awaited an answer to this whole new side of Ivy I was disturbingly becoming aware of.

"You and I are both friends now _right_…so that means no secrets between us. You can still trust me Tori…_and _I know I can still trust you," she said to me assuringly.

A momentary pause fell between us as I tried to take in all her words.

Ivy began once again, "_In fact_ I trust you more than Tiffany and Stacy which says a lot by the way. So here is the deal, you're a part of 'The Click' now _which means_ you have to follow my rules."

Ivy stopped talking again observing how I was taking everything so far. She seemed pleased that I was calm and not phased so she went on.

"_You're_ popular now Tori meaning you have to act a certain way. You saw the way I just treated that fat girl right? That's _exactly_ how you have to act now. No more sweet nice Tori, no _no, _now you have to get your hands _dirty_."

My eyes went wide at her words, a clear look of unsettled nerves beginning to appear on my face.

She smirked, "Oh come on Tori don't chicken out now…you got potential...I can see it in you. And if you really think about it, it's a small price to pay for popularity don't you think?"

She waited for an answer to come from me, but I found that my voice was no where to be found.

"_Do you agree with me or not_," Ivy demanded an answer sternly from me.

I scrunched my eyebrows further down in thought as I contemplated my answer. I knew deep down that _degrading_ people wasn't right. So at that particular moment I was still me…I _was _still Tori Vega …kind and innocent.

"_No, _Ivy I don't think it's right…what you _did_ right now, it's inexcusable. And quite frankly I don't want to be a part of any of that. I won't resort to acting that way…it's not who I am," I finally said to her.

Ivy glared at me sizing up my reply and nodded her head in comprehension. Her mouth became a tight line, "Impressive of you to stand up to me Tori...not many have the guts to do that. _But_ I'm going to say this once _and_ only once, you either choose to go along with my expectations _or_…you can choose to go your own way."

Ivy tilted her head a bit to the side and crossed her arms waiting for my reaction. "So Tori what's it going to be? _Have friends, be popular, be noticed, be a part of something?_ _Or be alienated, alone with no friends, and picked on with no one to back you up?"  
><em>She quirked her fiery red brow, "I think option one sounds better…_but_ it is your choice. Just remember Tori_ I_ was there for you when no one else was…_I _picked you up from the ground you wanted _so badly_ to cling to. _I _saved you from months of guilt and loneliness…_I_ am your _only _real friend Tori, without me you have no one. And_ who_ is going to be there to catch you when you fall Tori?"

I knew she had a point everything she was telling me was true. How could I turn my back on someone who was offering me security? _On_ the one friend I had who was simply asking me to not turn on her. _On _the one person who had been there for me _when _Jade wasn't _when…Jade left._ I had to face facts, Ivy _is_ my friend now…_she is_ the only person I can really trust…and the least _I _can do is follow her guidelines. I have nothing left to lose.

"Okay I'll do it…I'll follow your rules," I said defeated.

**Present**

The small girl is quavering in fear from my hostile tone. She is avoiding meeting my eyes as she looks to the floor, her rid rimmed glasses drooping down the bridge of her nose. The sixth grade girl has her text books clutched closely to her chest hiding the stain I had caused earlier.

"So nerd what's it going to be…_steal _the answer key to Mr. Hanes' test for me _or _am I going to have to throw a bucket of icy water in your face everyday for the rest of the year," I ask the small girl with crooked red glasses to answer me.

She seems to be contemplating her decision in fear, _good _she should be scared. I have Mr. Hanes' math class with her so there is no way she can escape me. "_Don't _even think about going to rat me out because if you do I _swear_ that stupid necklace of yours is going to disappear."

Her face rose slightly as she peaked through the top of her red rimmed glasses to look at me. I gave her an evil smirk. _Yeah that's right_ I know she has some sort of attachment to the silver violin pendant she wears around her neck everyday. Actually it is quite beautiful, the violin is incrusted with a layer of small crystals making it shimmer when it hits the light. She makes a small unconscious movement with her hand towards the violin pendant barely touching it with her fingertips.

Her light brown eyes shine in anguish, and for some reason my smirk falls down a bit. Seeing that pain in her eyes makes me think of…_of Jade_. Of how preciously _I_ used to hold her…just like this small girl shows sentiment towards her necklace. It must mean a lot to her…for a brief moment I wondered the story behind the small pendant, but soon I turned my melting features back to ice.

"You're a _smart _kid right? _Sooo _it shouldn't be too hard to do this for me. I mean after all we have the same math class together…which I know means you're smarter than most sixth graders your age," I badger her.

There is a cold silence between the two of us as the small girl hesitantly fidgets with the pendant around her neck.

"So brainiac what do you say," I ask her not bothering to even acknowledge her by her name. I find that when you give something a name like a person's face they gain an identity. And if you never bother to know their name they're just another face in the crowd.

She finally nods in approval and meets my eyes for a brief second. The hurt I am causing her is apparent within her light brown eyes, but I don't give into her troubled features. _No_ the old Tori _would have_ felt sorry, _would have_ felt guilty, _would have_ been merciful.

But that girl died six months ago…she buried herself among those sweet memories that now are just bittersweet remembrances. I am _not_ innocent Tori Vega…_I am_ someone else's creation now…and _the part_ that scares me the most…is that I'm starting to be okay with it. I am starting to love the perks of being mean, _of being able_ to control someone else.

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><p><strong>Tell me what you all think reviews and feedback are like candy for me!<strong> **They get me excited and make me work harder!**


	13. Hurting Inside

**Hey guys hope you all enjoy this chapter. If it feels like I'm dragging out the story sorry I'm not trying to do that. My intentions are to show how both Jade and Tori are changing because of their own personal problems. This chapter centers around Jade and the next one will be about Tori just for a heads up.**

**Love all my reviewers and thanks to everyone who reads my story!**

**I don't own Victorious.**

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><p><strong>Jade's POV Three Months Later into the 7th grade year<strong>

**West Residence**

I was up writing at my small beige desk which I wanted to get rid of one day for a new black one, when I heard a sound coming from downstairs. I held still, leaving my pencil hovering slightly above my paper as I tuned into the sounds coming from downstairs. Was someone breaking in?

I softly placed my pencil down on top of my desk and made my way to my bedroom door, twisting and opening the door very cautiously as not to make a sound. I tip toed the rest of the way down the hall trying not to make the wooden floorboards screech beneath my warm feet which were now beginning to feel ice cold. I stopped at the edge of the white wall and pressed my back to it hiding in the darkness.

I softly adjusted my body to peer down at the living room from my usual spying place. Below I saw a black figure searching frantically for something. I edged closer to catch a better look in all the darkness that the house contained. The black figure moved closer to the dim light of the kitchen that my mother always leaves on at night.

His features where soon enveloped by the small white light where I could finally make out the figure. His pale face illuminated to an even pastier complexion, his hair looked dark brown than its usual shade of jet black, his eyes highlighted to a dark blue instead of his natural crystal blue hue. It was not a burglar… it was my father. I wondered what he was doing and why he was up so late.

My father walked into the kitchen trying to quietly pull drawers open in search of something. My curiosity got the best of me and soon I found myself in the kitchen with him.

"Dad," I quietly voiced.

My father spun around in his spot to face me. His temporary dark blue eyes landed on my tired dilated green irises. He seemed caught off guard that I was standing before him.

I groggily spoke up again, "Dad what are you doing?"

He exhaled a breath he appeared to have been holding, "Jade why are you up this late? You should be in bed it's a school night."

He probably thought I didn't notice the sigh of relief he had exhaled, but my brain was taking in every detail even in my depleted state. My father was dressed up in a suit not his sleeping wear, not to mention this suit was nicer than the ones he usually wears to work. It was a dark grey suit in the lighting, but I could tell its original color was a light grey. He wore a black shirt that was nicely tucked in and a grey tie that matched his suit. His hair was not messy but finely combed, and I could smell the excessive amount of cologne he had applied. My mind began to turn gears within my brain contemplating why he was really up and why he tried to change the subject onto me.

My eyebrows drew downward as I questioned my father suspiciously, "I asked you first."

He seemed a bit hesitant now that I was turning the tables on him. He softly cleared his throat, "I have to go to work one of the board members called me…and well it's a work crisis."

I looked up into his dark blue eyes again trying to read him. "At 1:30 in the morning," I challenged.

There was a silent tense pause between us.

"Dad you_ just_ got home at 12:00…_and _you changed clothes," I picked at him for more answers.

He smiled down at me something he never does. "Jade sweetie I had to come home and change I can't be seen wearing the same suite from yesterday. Soon it'll be sunrise and when my employees get to work I can't have them noticing I didn't clean up. I am the boss after all I have to set an example for them."

It was the first time my father had ever used a term of endearment towards me. Naturally I fell for his sly tricks feeling like he actually loved me.

"_Oh_…that makes sense," I said more to myself than to him.

He chuckled, something I rarely get to hear from him, "You know kiddo you can help me."

Another term of endearment that I didn't know was laced with a lie. "With what?"

My dad smiled again, "I can't find my keys usually when I come home I place them on the kitchen countertop. Do you know if your mother puts them somewhere else?"

I was taken back by his fatherly gestures. "Yeah…Rose tends to move them onto the hook near the door," I answered him.

He chuckled again, "You know your mother doesn't like it when you call her by her first name. Why does she move the keys? Most of the time when I get up for work they are back on the countertop."

I rolled my eyes at the thought of my annoying mother, "_Well_ too bad she is just going to have to get used to it. And as for the whole keys thing I don't know…Rose is a control freak she has to have_ everything_ in order her way. But whatever when she wakes up she takes your keys and puts them back on the countertop cause she knows you won't find them."

My dad looked at me amused at how my mother irritates me. "Well that would be your mother," he grinned.

"_Yeah and your wife_," I said in a detestable tone.

I noticed his grin lowered from the corners of his mouth as his eyes showed a glint of regret.

I felt my eyebrows scrunch up, wondering what he is thinking? Maybe he is thinking that he should have never married my mother? Or why did he marry her in the first place? I was soon pulled out of my thoughts as I caught my father's grey suite pass my field of vision.

I quickly turned around and followed behind him. He must have sensed me trailing along because as he got closer to the door, he turned back and looked down at me in the dark. My eyes were barely adjusting to the blackness as I tried to make out his features.

I could hardly see his eyes and his face, but I did hear his voice. More than that I could see his voice, I could see the words that were callous. I could see these words better than I could see his face in the dark.

"You should go back to sleep…school tomorrow," he said without feeling.

It was as if one minute he was loving and the next he was back to being an emotionless robot.

"It is tomorrow John," I said sarcastically to try to get a rise out of him…another laugh.

He didn't laugh this time instead he gazed down at me for another second and then turned back towards the door.

He placed his hand on the door handle and soon was out the door shutting out the light from the porch, shutting_ me_ out. I was left in the obscurity of the dark standing alone in the Siberian icebox that was my home. This was the longest conversation my dad and I have ever had. The loving words he had thrown my way now felt empty. Did he even really mean them?

Were his laughs, smiles, and words falsified? Did he love me…or am I simply another liability he has to look after?

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><p><strong>That Same Day Hours Later 7:30 a.m.<strong>

**Walking into Kingsville Junior High**

I tensed as I felt Beck's arm sling around my shoulder. "Jade West how are you this fine morning," Beck asked cheerily with a grin on his tan baby face.

His chocolate brown eyes locked onto mine and I quickly dropped my gaze to the ground feeling like he might be able to see through me.

"Beck Oliver why are you so damn happy every morning," I said bitingly.

Beck chuckled at my sour remark, "Because I get to see _you_ everyday."

I felt my mouth pull into a smile, "You're such a tease."

His grin increased as he shrugged his skinny shoulders in a cool manner.

"Wait a minute everyday? Beck you don't see me on weekends," I said.

"Not that you know of…I'm your personal stalker remember," he said with a wink.

I chuckled, "You goof okay stop being such a creep and tell me the real reason why you're so _jolly_."

He smiled, "Cause I got…wait for it…"

His long overdue pause was making me impatient. "Tell me," I exclaimed while pinching his skinny grey long-sleeved covered arm that has been slung around me for a good whole three minutes now.

"_Ouch_," he playfully winced.

I chuckled at his pouty face, "Sooo…"

"I got a guitar," he said excitedly.

"_Whoa _cool chiz…what kind is it?"

"Why don't you come see for yourself," he spoke suggestively with a small smirk on his face.

I smiled, "Like what go to your house after school?"

"Exactly," Beck grinned.

I scrunched my eyebrows together as if in thought, "Hmm… well I am a bit of a music junkie so yeah why not."

"What not because I'm your friend," Beck placed his free hand on his chest as if in pain.

I pulled my lips into an amusing tight line, "_Nope_ not really. And I never said we were friends you just assumed."

"Ooh that hurts…but you know you'd be lost without me," he teased.

I rolled my eyes at him, "You're so full of yourself Beckett."

His grin became almost ear splitting, "And you just love saying my name don't you."

I threw a punch to his right arm, and he laughed.

"Whatever fine I'll go to your house after school today."

"Cool then it's a date," he said as he finally removed his arm from my shoulder and picked up his pace walking ahead of me.

I speed up falling short to his side, "Inyour dreams Beckett this is not a date. I _repeat_ not a date_._"

He chuckled as he spun around to face me with a coy smile on his lips; he began to walk backwards, "Eventually you'll date me."

I rolled my eyes once more and he winked at me one last time as he turned back around and disappeared behind the corner of the hallway.

It surprised me that only Beck could actually make me smile and laugh when I was feeling down. He didn't know it of course, but somehow he made today more bearable for me. I _needed _a distraction from home…from my dad…and my mom.

* * *

><p><strong>After School: Beck's House<strong>

I watched Beck jiggle the key in the door as he pushes to open it. He must have noticed my raised brows from watching him.

"I have to kind of put some weight on the door…its old my dad never really gets around to fixing it."

I nodded my head in understanding. "_Well_ at least it's harder to break in right," I humored him. I got the feeling he might have been embarrassed, he probably thinks I am looking down on him because of where he lives.

He gives me a small sheepish smile as he gives the front door one final good nudge and it creaks open. Beck steps inside his home and I follow behind him. He closes the door; offers me something to drink. I gladly accept feeling my throat parched from the long walk from school to his house.

He makes his way to the small kitchen and opens the fridge in search of our beverages.

"Lemonade cool," he shouts over his shoulder.

"Yeah," I reply.

Beck strolls back to me with two cans of lemonade in hand. He hands me mine and we both proceed to open our cool drinks. The pop sounds of our drinks join together as we both swig back the cool tangy liquid in sync.

We pull our cans away from our lips at the same time and start to laugh at our clone moves.

"I feel like your twin," Beck voices.

"Yeah I feel like a Siamese cat."

He chuckles, "Same thing."

I raise the drink back to my lips and let the bitter liquid hit my tongue making my taste buds explode. "_Soo_…that guitar of yours," I casually say with a puckering facial expression once the lemonade slides down my throat.

Beck laughs and sarcastically inputs, "What no house tour?"

"You're not a good host you know. If you were smart you would have brought me my drink and said let me show you around," I back fired.

He flashed me a toothy grin, "Well let me show you around then."

"Too late just take me to your room already."

He seductively smirked at me, "Just the way I planned it."

I rolled my eyes, "Keep it in your pants Beck."

He laughs and gestures with his hands to the small hall way on his right, "Right this way madam."

I smirk amused from his silly antics.

Beck is always like this with me playfully teasing, and I play along. It's become a routine game for me and him. From an outside perspective people would say that both of us have a thing for each other, but _no_ way! _Hell no_! Beck is just my friend. I would never cross that line. Once two friends start to date they risk the whole breakup awkwardness, dividing their friends up to see who chooses whose side, and not to mention I don't find Beck attractive.

Sure he isn't bad looking he is tall, tan, and has that boyish smile, long black hair that reaches his collar bone, and warm chocolate brown eyes. Despite the fact he is skinny the guy is still charming in his own right…_but _I don't feel something between me and him. My body doesn't set off in sparks when he touches me…I don't even really look at guys that much. I try to...but I find my eyes gravitate towards_ girls_ and man oh man I can't help but stare sometimes. It's confusing really.

I'm pulled out of my thoughts when Beck leads me into his room where the most beautiful guitar I have ever seen lay on his bed.

"Holy shit," I said flabbergasted.

Beck just stared at me completely oblivious of the Holy Grail he had in his room.

"What," he asked curiously.

"_What!_ _Do you not know what kind of guitar this is_," I said perplexed with my eyebrows raised high.

He looked at me puzzled, "No I don't. What kind is it?"

My mouth was slightly hanging open how could he not know!

I closed my mouth and made my way to his bed as I lightly touched the ebony guitar.

My fingers lightly traced over the old gold colored strings as I spoke in awe without looking at him, "_This_ is a _1957 Les Paul Custom 3 Pickup VOS. _It's one of the most valuable vintage guitars out there."

Beck chuckled, "So I'm guessing its worth a lot."

I turned on my heel to face him giving him a small glare, "Are you _kidding_ me you can buy your own house with this!"

He gave me skeptical look; which I responded with a roll of my shoulders.

"I mean well if you find someone crazy enough who will pay any amount for it then yeah. But man _wow _Beck how did you manage to score this!"

He gently laughed, "Some guy was selling it at a garage sale for like 150 bucks."

"_Only 150! Was he senile!_"

Beck laughed harder this time from my exasperated hand gestures and facial expression.

"No he was probably about _I'd _say in his early forties," he said with a click of his tongue.

I shook my head from side to side speaking more to myself than to Beck, "How could he not know what this is worth?"

A small comfortable silence fell between us. I looked across at him he was standing near his door leaning on it looking at me with a big grin.

"What," I asked him feeling self conscious from his staring.

He shook his head and rolled his shoulders, "Nothing I just wouldn't have pictured you for a guitar specialist."

I sadly smiled, "I'm not I just learned a lot about guitars from…an old friend."

He noticed the hurt tone behind my failed attempt of a passive voice.

"What happened…I mean to your friend?"

I gazed down at the ground for a second and felt uneasy. How could I tell him about Blue? It would bring up too many memories good and bad. Plus, I can't let him in…I have to keep Beck at a distance.

I looked back up at him once I stilled my insides and decided to change the subject. "Do you know how to play?"

His eyebrows furrowed I knew he was caught off guard by my sudden cold demeanor…if anything I learned that from my father. When he wanted to avoid something he would change the subject and act as if it was never brought up.

"Umm…no actually I don't know," he answered me causally.

_Good _he didn't ask me anything. "So then how did you expect to play this thing? Did you think once you strummed away all of a sudden you'd be like Elvis," I chuckled trying to get back the easy going atmosphere.

He grinned at that. "_Nope_ Austin knows how to play I thought he would give me a couple of pointers."

"_Ahh_," I replied once again looking back down at the black beauty on his grey comforter.

"Go ahead you can hold it."

I looked over my shoulder at him and then sat down on his bed as I placed my hands on the vintage guitar. It felt cold under my fingertips and surprisingly light as I placed it on my legs. I ran a hand over the dip in the side and followed her curves.

Though she was old and worn I knew once the black beauty was properly restored it would play note by note in perfect elegance.

I smiled widely at Beck, "Lets fix her up."

Beck smiled back just the same, "Her?"

"Yeah…seems more like a girl than a boy don't you think?"

"_Great_ I picked a chick guitar."

I rolled my eyes and scoffed at him, "No you goof it just feels more like a girl to me."

"I knew that," he smirked.

"Sure you did Beckett_ sure_ you did," I smirked back.

* * *

><p><strong>Late at Night<strong>

**West Residence**

I got home late after I left Beck's house from working on Old Black Beauty. I took her apart to examine her condition. She was definitely in need of a new pickup, a bridge, and a truss rod. I told Beck tomorrow we could get what we needed and I'd work on her then.

I had suggested to him if he wanted to take Black Beauty to a guitar shop just in case he was worried I'd screw up his vintage guitar. He declined my offer on the fact that he was broke from spending the money he had saved up to buy a new one. I asked him why he had bought this one then. He said it had more character, more of a story than a brand new guitar. I agreed with him on that this guitar was _so _worth it. I voiced to him my envy wishing she was all mine.

That's when Beck proposed an offer with a devious smirk on his face. He said if I bought what the guitar needed and managed to fix it up he'd give me the guitar for free. I asked him what the catch was; he simply said there was no catch he just figured that if this thing was so old he doubted it would work. Beck assumed that's why the guy sold the guitar in a garage sale. I told him he had a deal and that he hadn't even seen my skills yet.

My mind was still on the black gold electric, I couldn't wait to fix her up. I used to love working on guitars with Blue. When he used to be my manny he would buy these old shabby guitars and he would always bring one over so he could fix it with me.

I learned fast according to him and in no time I could take a guitar apart and put it all back together. I hadn't even tried to fix any more guitars after Blue got fired. I felt that it was something special between me and him so I left it behind.

My chest constricted in pain I missed him…I missed his wild laugh, his perfect white smile, his stubbly beard, his ice blue eyes that never felt cold but always warm like fire. I missed him like a girl missed her father…he _wasn't_ my father, he never was. I have to accept that…he left too…he didn't even try to fight for me. He didn't try to fight and stay with me…he just took my mother's words and departed.

I shifted my body from lying on my back to now lying on my side. I looked over at my desk to my dark grey leather journal. I wrote in it almost every night. I wrote to put my feelings somewhere; I _had_ to put them somewhere.

I contemplated writing in it today, but my eyes drifted over to another book. I stared at the Bombay charcoal black leather journal. _That _book I had not touched in eleven months.

Flashback to Jade's 11th Birthday

"_Come on_ Vega just let me see it before I tear this stupid blindfold off," I whined to an eleven year old Tori Vega.

"_Jade_ you promised you wouldn't look. Don't be so impatient," she scolded me.

"Patience is not my virtue Vega and you know it," I retaliated.

She laughed, "Waiting is not that hard Jade."

"No Tori it's not hard, it's _excruciating_," I exasperatedly remarked.

I didn't have to see her to know she had just rolled her eyes at me. "Okay you big baby you can take it off now."

I huffed, "Finally."

I removed the navy blue blind fold from my eyes and was met with Tori's glowing coffee brown eyes.

I raised an eyebrow, "Vega I don't think you count as my surprise. I see you like everyday."

She rolled her eyes and chuckled, "_No_ this is your surprise silly."

Tori looked down at her hands. My gaze followed hers and in her small tan hands laid a beautiful charcoal black skin book with a self-leather wrap tie. It reminded me of a medieval manuscript book. I tentatively placed my hands on top of the small leather journal. It was _so _eccentric …_so_ me. Tori knew me too well.

How can this nice sweet girl be my best friend? What does she possibly see in me that others don't? What makes her stay around? I felt Tori's fingertips skim my palm from underneath the little black book. Her delicate touch though small, sent millions of prickles over my entire body. I unconsciously felt a smile begin to spread upon my lips.

I watched our hands; the barrier between complete contact was just this small book. I wanted to remove it to hold her hands in mine… I wanted to feel her warm fingers intertwine with my cold digits. My eyes traveled up the length of her tan slender arms, up her chest, to her neck, to her lips where my gaze lingered longer, to the curves of her cheekbones, and all the way up to her fervid brown eyes.

"I know how you love to write…and well I thought you could write something really special in this book," she said to me her words laced with affection.

"Like what," I asked in my dizzy state of delight.

She smiled my favorite smile, the one that was reserved only for me. "Whatever's close to your heart."

End of Flashback

I didn't know it then but I knew it now. She was what was close to my heart…_still_ is. I got up from my bed and walked over to my desk. I stared at the charcoal little black book afraid to touch it.

I hadn't written in it because I wasn't sure of what to write, but now I knew; now I'm certain. I glazed my eyes over it for a second longer then grabbed the small book. The black leather felt velvety as I ran a hand down the cover. My fingers stopped on the embossed initials of my name that Tori had gotten impressed on the right corner.

My heart tightened in my chest from the recognition of my feelings. I opened the book and began to write at my desk, deduced from the overflow of my emotions. As I finished writing my last thought I heard noises coming from downstairs. I quickly got up placing my journal on top of my bed.

I made my way out into the hall like the last time, finding my father once again exiting through the front door of the house. Could he really be working that late again? Did _another_ board member call him for a second night in a row? I wasn't sure exactly what to make of my father's sudden mysterious late night goings, but maybe I was worried for nothing?

I made my way back to my room falling onto my bed exhausted from thinking. I reached over for my black journal on the edge of my bed comforter and instantly clutched it close to my chest. I wanted to drift off to a peaceful sleep…but sleeping was harder these days. My mind kept racing with questions and memories of the past.

I opened my book to reread what I had written. This was the first poem I ever wrote about a _girl_…about_ Tori_. My heart tore from the words on the page. I abruptly closed the book and crushed it to my chest feeling hot tears rise to my eyes. How could she have chosen Ivy over me? I thought our friendship was unbreakable…but it was as fragile as glass.

She left me too...just like Blue she didn't stick around. My parents are the same way…eventually I know one of them will leave. The burning tears ran down my face as I tried to hold them in, but I found no restraint within me anymore. The _one _person I trusted my heart to dismantled it into jagged pieces that no longer fit together.

I won't _ever_ trust someone like that again…I _won't _let anyone deep enough to hurt me. I _have _to become stone…a hard exterior that no one can touch. I _have _to become untouchable. More tears stung my pale stained face as finally sleep over took me and my pain.

* * *

><p><strong>I wasn't to certain about this chapter, but I felt it was still needed to see into Jade's inner feelings. Leave me a review they are spectacular! <strong>


	14. Over The Edge

**Hey guys I think it's been what like two weeks since my last update? Yeah sorry about that I had writers block, and then all of a sudden Sunday night it came to me and I got my ass to working! It took a while, but I'm glad I took my time on it. Honestly I think if I had tried to rush this chapter it would have came out awful...but I think it's my best one yet. Hope all my readers and reviewers think so too! Happy Monday!  
><strong>

**I don't own Victorious not even in my dreams :(**

* * *

><p><strong>No POV<strong>

"911, what's your emergency," the dispatcher asked on the line.

"Please help I need an ambulance; my daughter has just tried to commit suicide," a woman's voice rang in panic on the other end.

On the white bathroom floor laid a young girl unconscious; her mother rushed to her side, scooping the small fragile girl into her arms. The contrast of the crimson red blood on the white tile floor immediately made the woman scream in panic. She was holding her daughter with now smudge bloody hands, her voice calling out for help, for her lover.

Soon enough another woman charged into the bathroom taking in the sight before her. She wanted to cry, but knew one of them had to hold it together. The woman with blonde hair quickly pulled out her cell phone and dialed 911. Her voice quaked when someone answered the receiver.

Her eyes held to the awful scene in front of her; her brunette lover sobbing uncontrollably, her daughter almost pale as the tile floor. She had never believed in God, but in that moment she hoped there really was a God, and if there was she prayed he would save her daughter.

* * *

><p><strong>Tori's POV Early Morning<strong>

I was searching for her, searching for the small girl I always tormented. As I looked among the moving bodies of students her red rimmed glasses were nowhere in sight. Where could she be? For some reason in the pit of my stomach I felt acid, almost like bile corroding my insides. You know that feeling you get when you just know something bad has happened. That's exactly how I feel right now.

I'm not sure why…but something around me feels off. The small sixth grader hasn't been around, and at first I put it off as nothing, but after three days I started to feel uneasy. I don't know why it's not like I know the kid, but I can't stop feeling concerned. Didn't that part of me…the one that worried wasn't she gone?

Had I not locked her away? Did I not imprison her in the dark? If I had then why was I suddenly seeing a light seeping from a crack? Is it just in my nature to care…to be good? The many questions flurried in my head as I made my way to class.

* * *

><p><strong>Tori's POV Later That Day<br>**

**Vega Residence**

I lay on my bed, my face titled towards my bedroom window; the yellow sun was receding among the blue pink painted sky signaling the late afternoon. Though I was watching the peaceful nature outside my window my thoughts ran to the girl with red rimmed glasses. School was not the same…she wasn't there again, marking today as the fourth day of her absence.

She still had to be enrolled in school that's for sure. I mean Mr. Hanes called her name for attendance, but loud silence was all that rang in my ears during class today rather than her small voice. Why is this bothering me so much? I shouldn't care…I _can't_ afford to care.

And it's a good thing Ivy hasn't noticed that I've been quietly on edge for these past three days, including today. The only one who noticed was Danny, but of course I lied to him. I brushed off his worried questions and made him believe I was just feeling a little sick.

He took it without question. That's Danny for ya; he'd rather go along not really seeing the problem…but rather letting it pass. He's that way with me. When he sees me pick on other kids, mainly the sixth grade girl, he doesn't do anything. Danny might say, "Tori maybe you should take it easy, or Tori lay off the kid a little." Yet he never really tries to stop me…_I_ wish someone would stop me. Sure he is a good boyfriend; sweet, nice, easy- going, popular…that's what every girl should want _right_?

Maybe…but for some reason I think I'm not as in love with Daniel as he is with me. We started off as friends of course and eventually one day he walked me home…and he kissed me. It was my first kiss..._he _was my first kiss. I remember it felt good, but it was okay…I mean shouldn't it feel more passionate?

I always believed a girl's first kiss should be special, it should feel like magic. Well I know that sounds a bit cheesy, but I guess I thought it would make my skin tingle, my eyes flutter closed, take my breath away, you know it would mean something. But it didn't mean anything.

I hate feeling conflicted, most of the time that's how I feel nowadays. I try to push my messy feelings down, kill them off with control. I push and I push onto others so I don't have to feel…but in the end those feelings seem to always resurface.

"Tori! Come down and eat its dinner time," my mother's voice registered through the jumbling thoughts in my brain.

I made my way out my room and out from the hall to the kitchen dining room table to where my father, mother, and sister were already seated. My dad was at the end of the small rectangular table, my mom on the left side, and Trina on the right. I sat down on the vintage green pedestal chair keeping my eyes on the light hazelnut table top.

My eyes moved from the table top down to the length of the legs of the four seat dining table. The legs were vintage green as well, matching the four chairs. My mother has a thing for vintage furniture and the color green. It makes me sick I hate looking at it. Guess because all the green reminds me of emerald eyes that I no longer get to see.

I made a face of disgust and looked up at my mother, "Ugh, when are you going to get up to date? Seriously the furniture around here makes me want to puke."

My mother looked at me with slight hurt in her eyes, her lips pulling into a frown. I rolled my eyes at her she's way too sensitive, toughen up. I moved my gaze to my father's stern face. I could tell he wasn't too pleased about my remark.

I huffed and then looked over at Trina, "Jeez, who died in here?"

Usually Trina would talk to me, but this time she looked just as serious as my father which never happens. Trina can't be serious, I mean come on she's Trina: stupid and annoying. I waited for her to answer me, but no reply came from her lips.

I observed my quite serious family for a second longer; they all looked angry and ill-humored. I rolled my eyes once more shrugging my shoulders, "Whatever."

I don't get what their problem is, but I frankly don't care either.

Dad cleared his throat, "Tori, apologize to your mother."

He stated this like if it was a no question answer. Come on dad he should know by now that what once were demands to me are now open ended questions. I don't have to apologize if I don't feel like it. _It's_ my answer, _my_ view of things, not his.

I chuckled, "_Yeah right_. Good one Pop's but I was just speaking my mind. What can't a girl have an opinion anymore?"

"Opinion is that what you call it," he said angrily. "You aren't giving your opinion Tori you are-"

"_Being a brat_, "Trina cut off my dad finishing for him.

I narrowed my eyes in her direction, "So what, you act like one all the time."

She scoffed at me, "Not as bad as you."

I bitterly laughed, "Ha yeah right. You're a hundred times more annoying you obnoxious twit."

Trina glared at me venom seeping into her words, "Well at least I'm not a _self-centered bitch_ like you."

I gasped. She has never called me a bitch let alone cursed at me. I felt hot anger fueling my veins, "Well at least I'm not an _attention seeking whore_."

Trina laughed humorlessly, "You're such a hypocrite _Torrii_. To think you don't call for attention. Okay _princess_ go ahead be ignorant, everyone thinks you're a bitch anyway."

I was about to launch myself at my sister even from my seat. I didn't care at that moment; all I wanted to do was slap that stupid smirk off her face.

My father abruptly stood up from his chair from seeing my movements. He raised his voice something he never does, "_Enough!_ _Tori stay in your seat!"_

I stilled at the sound of his booming voice, my hands gripping the sides of the green chair. My eyes remained locked on Trina's she seemed just as infuriated as I felt.

"Trina go to your room," my father ordered.

Trina sneered as she walked by me, "_My pleasure_."

I watched her stalk off to her room. I get it she thinks she's won. Ha if she thinks this is over it's far from it. I'll show her, I'll show Trina who is the real victor.

My father's voice finally hit me, "Tori!"

I spun my head around diverting my attention back onto my dad. He appeared aggravated; his dark brown eyes were looking at me with disapproval, his mouth a tight line, and his forehead was furrowed with lines.

"Tori," he began again. "Your mom and I need to talk to you about a few things."

"_Like_," I inquired sharply still feeling the anger of my fight with Trina race through me.

"_Like _the fact that your mother and I have been very lenient with you for these past couple months."

My father paused to look at my mom. They both shared a knowing look with each other, a silent agreement they were now confirming. My dad and mom nodded their heads in union.

My dad cleared his throat, "Tori we've put up with your sudden change in attitude…_but_ we both think you should get some help."

Before my dad could say anymore I burst out angrily at him, "What! So you guys think I'm crazy that's it!"

My father opened his mouth to speak, but I cut him off furiously. "Trina _acts _like a god damn drama queen all the time and the one time I act like it you decide to send me to see a _shrink_!"

My dad raised his hand and slammed down on the hazelnut table top silencing me. "Leave your sister out of this. That is just who she is…but _you_ Tori aren't a diva. Trina means no harm, _you _on the other hand I'm not too sure of."

(Pause)

"And it's just not one time with you, _it's_ been months. Tori we are simply worried. Your mother and I don't know what to do with you," he gestured towards my mom with his left hand.

I looked from my dad's worried face to my mother's sad eyes. I felt both their stares trying to penetrate through my new armor. Trying to see through this new girl that was no longer their daughter.

"David tell her," my mother spoke softly to my father.

He nodded his head, "Tori I got a call last night…late around midnight…and I never would have expected what I found."

(Small tense pause)

My father licked his lips and sighed, "A small girl about your age tried to commit suicide last night."

The words rang in my ears like bells, like a fire alarm signaling smoke. No it couldn't be could it?

I swallowed the lump in my throat, "Do you know her name?"

My dad shook his head, "Yeah…Jenna Howard she goes to your school."

My stomach dropped to the floor, my insides weighted down at his words. _Coward Howard_…that's what I call her. That's a way I taunt her. Though I have never acknowledged her by her first name…it still was buried in the back of my mind. But from my father's words she finally gained a name.

A name showing she was real, a real breathing person who last night might have never breathed again if it wasn't for my dad. My dad saved her life…while I almost took it. I wanted to break down in front of my parents; I wanted to collapse into a mess like a small child. Yet I could not find tears to spill…all I could find was anger…rage.

That stupid little idiot why would she try to take her own life? How could she just give up? I hate her she is so weak…I shouldn't feel sorry for her. She's the one who is too weak to even fight back, to defend herself. Why should I have any sympathy for someone who can't stand up for themselves…who isn't strong enough to do what has to be done?

Somehow I could not find a place to set foot on, I felt torn between anger and uneasiness, guilt and turmoil.

"Do you know her," my father's words hit me like a brick.

I didn't have the strength to look him in the eye. What could I say yeah dad I know her. I pick on her on a daily basis; she's my little punching bag. Applaud me for almost taking her life, for being the one to push her to the edge.

No it's _not _my fault…she did it herself. It's her damn fault she can't take it, wimp. With that small little anger fueled reassurance I looked up at my dad meeting his eyes directly.

"No," I lied coldly detached.

His dark brown eyes seemed to have dimmed and he appeared solemn almost as if he knew something wasn't right. He didn't know…He couldn't know?

My mother's soft voice broke through my haze, "Tori, sweetie, ever since Jade left…you haven't been the same. And for a while I told your father give her time she's just hurting, our little girl will return to us. But it's hard to watch you these days, I know you miss Jade-"

My anger finally reached a breaking point at my mother's statement. "You don't know _anything_! I _don't _miss her! She was _never_ my friend! All she ever did was break my heart! I _hate _her! Jade West is dead to me!"

My parents stared at me in shock. I had always talked about Jade so fondly when we were friends…but now I was consumed with hatred. If there was anyone responsible for hurting that girl it was _Jade_! She turned me into _this_! Into this twisted monster!

Because of her I can't even feel remorse anymore! I can't feel sorry for others! I _hate_ this…I _hate_ my parents…I _hate_ stupid Trina…I _hate _Jenna…and I _hate_ Jade West more than anyone.

* * *

><p><strong>A Week Later<strong>

**Sherman Junior High **

**Tori's POV**

It had been a week later and Howard finally showed up again. _Good _she's going to get it this time. I laughed to myself heck if I were her I would have never bothered to come back. She thinks I don't know what happened behind closed doors. Well I know more than she thinks.

After all my dad was the cop who showed up at the scene of her attempted suicide. Poor little Howard so defenseless, _yeah right_ the wimp can't even open her mouth to say anything back at me. She deserves what she gets tenfold this time. By the time I'm done with her she's going to _wish_ she had died.

A devious, evil smile played at my lips as I watched her make her way to her seat in the back of Mr. Hanes class. She was walking all the way down the aisle; head bowed down, red rimmed glasses slipping off the bridge of her nose, her usual messy ponytail looking even more frazzled than usual. I stuck my foot out to the side instantly making her trip when she came into contact with my leg.

She landed flat on face her face as her red square glasses tumbled a few feet away from her. Ivy's laughter reached my ears from the seat behind me, "Hahaha, nice one Tori. I see you've been holding off some steam."

I extended my hand back at her with a big smile on my face as I felt her hand slap down on mine in a backwards high five.

"Yup," I simply uttered with my evil grin still in place. I looked down at Howard lifting her head off the ground, squinting for her glasses.

Mr. Hanes voice reached us, "Ladies do we have a problem here?"

My eyes darted up to him looking at him from up in the class. He held the black dry erase board marker in his hand, serious eyes directed towards me and Ivy. I knew he couldn't have seen his back had been turned to the board the whole time, but apparently he heard the fall. The class had their heads turned back to us, watching to see our reactions.

I smirked and looked back down to Coward Howard who had by now reached her red glasses. She was on her knees cleaning the lenses with her dark grey shirt when she felt my intense glare on her. The girl looked up to meet my cold warning stare as I sharply mouthed well to her.

She could probably barely see me in her fuzzy vision, but I knew she didn't have to see me to know that she better keep her mouth shut if she knows what's good for her.

Howard quietly spoke, "No…Mr. Hanes I just tripped."

Those are more words than I ever heard her speak. Ivy resumed laughing behind me at the scared look that graced Howard's face.

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><p><strong>Lunchtime After Mr. Hanes Class<strong>

**Tori's POV**

Ivy and I made our way to lunch to catch up with Stacy, Tiffany, and the guys. We saw Tiffany and Stacy already seated saving our spots along with the boys. Ivy and I were standing in line getting ready to get our food, when I spotted that little ant making her way to an empty table.

I smiled maliciously this should be fun. I didn't even give Ivy a heads up as I made my way towards the small sixth grader. I walked out the line and cut right in front of her. Howard stopped in her tracks almost colliding with my body.

"Where you going _Coward_," I teased with amusement in my voice and a raised brow.

Her hands were shaking a little as she gripped onto her lunch tray tightly. Her light brown eyes briefly scanned over her red rimmed glasses to look at me, but her gaze quickly dropped back down to the food on her tray.

Her voice wavered as she opened her mouth to speak, "No-nowhere."

I chuckled wickedly, "Really? That's funny I was just thinking the same thing."

Without warning I grabbed her red rimmed glasses off her nose and broke them in half. Her eyes raced to my face from the sudden movement of my hands. She watched me as I dropped her glasses to the floor and crushed them under my shoe. The glass lenses breaking at the immediate impact of the sole of my shoe.

"Guess you really are going nowhere. Good luck trying to find your way out without those ugly things you call an excuse for glasses," I menacingly said to her.

I saw Ivy approach me from the corner of my eye laughing loudly at the whole scene that had played in front of her. I heard the others laugh too, Stacy, Tiffany, Toby, and Jake. The only one not laughing was Daniel I noticed as I looked over in their direction.

They all seemed so amused, but Danny seemed sad, disappointed. I rolled my eyes at his expression whatever I don't have time for his stupid worried looks. I directed my eyes back onto Howard and found she was not in front of me anymore. Kid ran off…humph she can run, but she definitely can't hide forever.

Ivy grinned and chuckled, "You're one heck of a real piece of work Tori. _Jeez _got to hand it to you; you might be getting better than me."

I turned my head to look at her and I smiled satisfied at my handy work.

Before I could reply I felt someone pulling at my arm. I was being dragged away from my spot when my eyes found Trina's angry scorned face. She pulled me out of the cafeteria all the way to the girls' restroom out in the hall.

"_What the hell Trina_," I disdainfully shrieked. "Why did you almost yank my arm off and drag me away from my friends!"

Trina faked a laugh, "_Friends_? You call _those_ your friends? Wake up Tori those people aren't your friends! Let alone Ivy, she's the worst one!"

I glared at my sister, "You're one to talk didn't you want to be a part of Ivy's circle, a part of her click! Well there you go! I'm a part of her group now and just because you aren't doesn't mean you have to be jealous!"

Trina looked at me with big eyes and spoke skeptically, "_Jealous_? Are you kidding me! I'm not jealous! God _Torrii _you're so blind!"

(Small pause)

"If you think that this is about jealousy you're seriously mistaken."

I narrowed my eyes at her mocking the way she had said my name, "Then tell me what is this all about then _Trriinaa_?"

She rolled her eyes in annoyance, "This is about you Tori, about _you_ acting like a bitch. About _you _being a complete asshole!"

My mouth gapped open, "Why you little-"

She cut me off, "Save it Tori you can call me a bitch or whatever, but we both know who really deserves that title."

I remained with my mouth still open in shock that Trina was actually talking to me like this.

"Close your mouth and listen up because I'm only going to say this once. Got it," she firmly stated. "And don't even think about interrupting me until I'm finished."

My eyes remained tightly locked on her, "_Fine_ make it quick I've got people waiting for me unlike you."

Trina shook her head from side to side laughing without humor, "You see, there you go! That right there is the problem! You've been talking shit to people for months Tori, and on top of that you've been bullying little kids!"

Trina took a breath and started up again, "You have become this conceited bully! You don't even see the big picture because your judgment is _sooo _clouded baby sis!"

(Another pause)

I licked my lips and laughed. Trina looked at me with hurt in her coco brown eyes. She seemed upset at my reaction.

"I can't believe you're laughing. Tori you were almost responsible for that girl's life," she said painstakingly. I looked to the floor feeling uneasy at her reference to Jenna.

"What's the matter Tori…can't look me in the eye and smile anymore?"

(Tense pause)

"Dad told me before he brought it up to you. That's why I was so mad at you during dinner last week. Don't you get it Tori? Jenna Howard _almost killed herself_ because of you…because of the pain you've been putting her through. She doesn't deserve that…_no one_ does."

I began to feel my eyes burning, but I _will not_ release any tears. I won't let Trina see me break. I dug my nails into the palms of my hands, balling them into fists.

"I didn't do that to her," I yelled out to Trina.

I still felt her eyes on me as mine bore into my shoes.

"Then tell me who did," she asked in a low voice.

I looked up to meet her eyes holding back tears and feeling nothing but fire burning my chest. "Jade _fucking_ West! That's who did it! She's the one responsible not me!"

I wanted so badly to believe myself, to lie and say none of it was my fault. I was determined to fight away the person I once was…because she was always the one who got hurt. Not this time…no this time I don't get hurt.

Trina walked closer to me away from the restroom door her voice laced with concern, "Tori…Jade's not here. Jade _isn't_ the one who has been bullying Jenna. Jade wouldn't have wanted you to be this way."

(Pause)

Trina sighed loudly, "You spent months crying over Jade…and now you're telling me that the girl who you stood up for _all the time _is responsible for your mistakes?"

My breathing felt shallow from her next words.

"Jade cared about you Tori. She may not have acted like it most of the time, but anybody with eyes could see how much she loved you."

At this point, my body began to shake from me trying to hold back, to hold back my emotions. Jade loved me?

"You guys were best friends…and I know I said once you would have to pick and choose between popularity and her…but you let it come between the two of you. You let Ivy ruin your friendship. _Ivy's _the reason why you are this way Tori. I know you want to put all the blame on Jade…but the real person to blame is _Ivy_, and I hate to say this I really do. But it's your fault too."

(Trina takes a breath, I hold one back)

"You may not want to feel any more for Jade…but I know deep down you still miss her. I know that my baby sis, my little sweet sister is still in there somewhere," Trina gestured a finger towards my chest, towards my heart.

She looked at me waiting to see if I would break, if I would finally give. It seemed like an eternity until she finally spoke again.

"Look I can't make you act any different, but what I _can_ do is tell mom and dad. I can tell them everything about Jenna unless you make things right? Tori, don't make me have to turn my back on you, I don't want to be the bad guy…but if I have to I will rat you out to mom and dad. It's your call, just think about it okay? I know you know what's right and wrong. Make things right again, if not for me then for Jade?"

Trina walked away from me towards the door her hand on the handle. She looked over her shoulder and shot me one last caring look and said the final words that would break me, "You gave up on Jade, don't give up on yourself…she wouldn't have wanted that we both know it."

When Trina walked out the girls' bathroom I finally let a sharp intake of breath hit my lungs as my chest fumbled in heaves of broken sobs. Tears ran down my cheeks as I finally let myself cry; I hadn't cried in months. I finally let myself feel again, let myself feel something other than anger. I felt shame.

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><p><strong>Sooo...? What do ya'll think, too much? Love my reviews they keep me motivated even if it is just like 6 or 7 of them. I really do appreciate all those who take the time to review my story it means a lot! All reviews make me smile! :D<strong>


	15. Seeing the Truth

**So everyone first off I just want to say I love you all! Thank you so much for taking the time to review! All the feedback made me really happy! Knowing that people like my story makes me feel just blissful. And I know it's taken me a while to update...but I apologize for the wait. I've been feeling stuck on the story and other things get in the way, but I promise I'll try to update when ever I get the chance.  
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**Hope you all enjoy!  
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**I don't own Victorious.**

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><p><strong>Tori's POV<strong>

I shut the door behind me feeling the cold lock snap in place as I turned it. I'm not sure why they would put a lock on the girl's bathroom…things could happen, _vicious _things. I turned to look at the small sixth grader scrubbing her hands beneath the faucet of the white porcelain sink; the water sloshing around loudly.

Maybe that's why she didn't hear me come in? Who knows really, but all I know is that I am staring at her contemplating how this moment will go. Though she didn't hear me come in, she felt my eyes fixed on her back; she looked up from her wet hands to the mirror where she caught my reflection.

Jenna's eyes turned to orbs of fear as she went rigid letting the sloshing water remain running onto her hands.

"I'm not here to beat you up or anything. I just wanna talk," I said to her as I made my way to the paper towel dispenser. I pulled the black lever down over and over until I was satisfied at the amount dispensed. I tore the rough brown paper from the machine and gestured it towards Jenna.

By that time she had shut off the water and turned her body to face me. Her light brown eyes looked from me to the paper towel bundled in my out stretched hand. It seemed as if she were considering this a small peace offering. Yeah sure it's not much, but this small gesture coming from me _has_ to mean something.

She extended her hand out cautiously seeming afraid as if I would strike her like a poisonous snake. Her small frail hand finally landed on the brown bundled up paper towel. Jenna commenced drying her hands; her light brown eyes darted from them back up to me.

I watched her without anger, without any usual distasteful look directed at her. I was basically unreadable in her eyes. Or maybe she thought I was calm…but I was anything but calm. I was scared. Scared of the truth I was about to ask for.

"Why did you try to kill yourself," I asked her with concerned eyes.

She looked at me in complete shock that I knew. The moment felt heavy between us and time felt unnaturally slow.

"Jenna… please I need to know. If it's- if it was my fault," I pleaded to the small sixth grader who appeared to be a deer caught in the headlights.

I couldn't take the silence from her anymore; it was unbearable to not know if this was all my own doing. I had to know even if the answer was yes.

"Look, I know right now might not be the best time to talk about this…but give me a chance… please," I begged the young girl with my voice and my eyes hoping that she could see my desperation.

Jenna searched me with her light brown eyes.

"Please," I whispered a shaky breath.

She took another second to look at me, to read me. Jenna nodded her head, "After school today. I'll wait for you by the back exit of the school."

And with that she was gone, Jenna moved to the door, unlocked it and walked out not looking back at me. Maybe she was scared too? Maybe she thought this could all be some stupid cruel plan to get her? I don't know…I don't know what she is thinking right now. All I know is that I have to make things right for the both of us.

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><p><strong>After School: The Back Exit<strong>

I walked out from the back exit of the school, my eyes searching for the small sixth grader. My eyes scanned around and around then darted over across to the field of over grown grass that was strayed with purples, pinks, and blues in random places.

And there she was, Jenna Howard sitting on the grass, her worn converse on the broken curb where few yellow flowers had sprouted. She seemed like a stray herself I acknowledged as I made my way over to her; like she had grown from the earth of those random beautiful flowers.

The sun was high and beating down on me when I came into contact with her.

"Hey," I said down at her feeling strangely comfortable. I could barely make out her expression from the blinding sun. She wasn't looking at me she was looking across from me back to the school almost as if staring at a ghost.

I furrowed my eyebrows in concern, "Jenna?"

She quickly looked up at me and then looked back across to the spot she had been staring at for gosh knows how long.

"Hi Tori," she said to me causally as if we had always been this way. As if we had always been friends. It was strange to be feeling this way right now considering the circumstance.

"Mind if I sit next to you," I asked looking down at her troubled face.

She nodded her head not taking her eyes off the spot. What could she be staring at? There is nothing there. I plopped down next to her on the grass sitting myself criss cross and crossing my arms over each other as if the weather outside were cold.

I looked to her taking in her posture: She was hunched over a bit, arms extended out on top of her knees, the soles of her shoes on the broken curb, her fingers intertwined with one another as she flecked her thumb repeatedly against her left one. Eyes remaining focused on a ghost I could not see as I followed her intensive stare.

I stayed silent for a couple of minutes just watching her. It seemed she was reliving something, a memory perhaps? I flinched when she finally turned her head to face me.

"So you wanna know what happened? You want to know the truth," Jenna spoke to me inquiringly.

It felt strange to hear her voice since I never really heard her say much before. This time I nodded my head, "Yeah I would."

Her eyes narrowed as she looked at me, her voice laced with suspicion, "I don't get you. Why? I mean why now? Why do you care?"

I could tell she was skeptical about my intentions and I could not blame her for it after all I put her through. "Jenna I know that I don't deserve to ask anything from you…_but _I am asking_. I am _asking for the truth." I tried desperately to convey my true intentions with my voice, with my words, and my eyes. "I _have _to know. I can't live with myself if I was the reason why you tried to take your own life."

"_So what, you just feel sorry for me is that it? Poor nerdy girl tried to kill herself so now you want to make sure I don't rat you out about you bullying me? That it_," her voice came out harsh and her face turned slightly red from frustration.

"_No_, _no_ that's not it…I don't see you as some pity case. I just want to understand why you would try- why you did it. I could care less if you told on me. I just need to fix my mistakes…and I'm starting with you," I say to her trying to convince her I'm not doing this to cover my tracks.

Jenna studied me, "You know if someone else was in my shoes they would just turn you over. They wouldn't believe you…but strange thing is I _do_ believe you."

I found the corners of my mouth lifting up slightly into a very weak smile. Feeling relieved that Jenna wasn't going to turn me away.

She exhaled a long sigh, "This isn't easy for me Tori. I _shouldn't_…be telling you the truth. It's painful for me to even talk about. Let alone telling you of all people."

My pained smile turned back into its deep frown, "I know…but I promise you whatever you choose to tell me stays in confidence."

A brief silent moment passed between us until more doubts arose in Jenna's mind.

"But _Tori_ the _truth_…it's messy, it's harder to face," she said anxiously her eyes desperate.

"Don't be afraid Jenna…whatever it is _I _want to hear it. I won't hold it over you. _Trust _me," I met her light brown eyes my voice firm with conviction.

(Silent Pause)

I watched her as she reached out to touch her violin pendant, "Ever had someone who has meant so much to you that you would give anything to see them again…even if it was just for a moment?"

My eyes held on to hers at her questioning words, but instead of seeing her eyes I saw Jade's. Thinking back to the person I've been missing for so long…

(Silence)

I shook my head knowing that I wasn't supposed to answer her question just simply listen to her. Give her a chance to talk to be heard.

"She meant _everything_ to me…she was always there for me when I needed her. Then it happened. I should have seen it coming, but I didn't…that's the worst part."

I listened on to Jenna's rambling wanting to ask her who she was talking about, but I found myself caught in her words.

"I came home and there she was bleeding to death…and…and I didn't do anything. I could have _saved_ her…but she didn't want to be saved."

Jenna's voice was starting to quaver the torment in her light brown eyes apparent from whatever memories she was reliving in her mind.

Somehow I found my voice again, "Jenna I don't understand? Who are you talking about? Who is this girl?"

She tore her eyes away from mine and looked at the broken curb where her shoes rested.

Her voice layered with heaviness, "_Was _Tori, not is. She _was._ She was once alive…but she's been gone for a while now. You see I had a sister…one who was brave and strong. But even the strongest people have their limits."

I felt the world around me had been stilled for this moment, for these words I was about to hear.

Jenna looked at me again her eyes brimmed with shining tears, "She killed herself Tori. My sister _killed _herself and…I could have saved her_. Couldn't I_?"

I stared at Jenna watching a tear begin to slide down her cheek. "_That's_ why I did what I did. _That's_ why I tried to kill myself…because I wanted to be with my sister again."

More tears ran down her face as sobs began to rack her fragile small body. I had never seen someone so broken…have I ever looked that broken? Was I just as broken as Jenna?

I couldn't find the right words to say to her; how can I soothe her from something so painful? I have no words. I did the only thing my body told me to do; I wrapped both arms around Jenna pulling her into a tight hug, crying along with her.

She didn't deserve this pain; she didn't deserve everything I put her through. Trina was right; I had made Jenna's life a living hell for my own selfish reasons. And I had never bothered to look beneath the surface of this person, of this girl.

I let her cry on me till she could cry no more, till her breathing finally leveled out. She didn't know all that time I had been crying too. I cried for her, for her pain, for my own pain, and for Jade. I knew exactly what Jenna was feeling. She was feeling guilty. Guilty for not fighting hard enough to save the one she loved.

She felt that she had let down her sister, that she could have done more. That's the same way I feel about Jade. I didn't try hard enough to fight for her. I just let her slip through my hands and now I regret it. I regret that day she said she lost me, because in truth I had lost her too. I guess we both lost each other along the way.

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><p><strong>Tori's POV<strong>

**A Few Days Later at School**

"What's up with you? You've been out of it for days now."

Ivy's voice entered my ears as I slammed my locker door shut.

"Nothing," I said distantly.

"_Nothing?_ _Really?_ You've been like a walking zombie for days Tori. You _don't_ laugh, you _don't_ smile, and you hardly even talk. And quite frankly your lack of emotion is really starting to piss me off," Ivy said straightforward.

"_Blunt _are we," I quipped back. Her poisonous green eyes narrowed at me.

"_Oh_ so now your _Miss Sarcastic_ are you," Ivy remarked flustered.

I humorlessly chuckled, "_Yeah, _that's it, you wanted emotion you got it didn't you. What, not satisfied?"

"Oh, so now you got a smart mouth too."

I smirked at her, "Well aren't you quite the smart one for pointing out the obvious."

Ivy's mouth dropped, "What! Are you calling me stupid now?"

I rolled my eyes, my voice filled with annoyance, "And there you go again_ still _pointing out the obvious."

"Okay I don't know what the hell is wrong with you, but when you're off your period then you can talk to me. Other than that don't bother," Ivy said in between clenched teeth.

"Wouldn't dream of it," I sarcastically retorted.

Ivy glared at me something she had never done and stalked off in a huff.

**Later that Day**

I am sick of hanging around Ivy and the others. Every time I look at Ivy I think back to what monster she has turned me into…the monster that I'm trying to currently fight away.

It would be so easy to give into the bad and go back to how I used to be, but for these past couple days I haven't picked on anyone...and I mean _anyone_. No snide remarks or bad behavior… Ivy's right I haven't been myself. Not that I mind really, before her before all this I wasn't a bully. So I guess you could say I'm trying to be me again. Problem is I don't know if I can find myself now? It's been so long…I've been morphed into someone else and searching for the old me feels pointless sometimes.

What do I have to gain from being goody goody Tori Vega? Don't I have more to lose if I try to go back to the nice girl? I lose my _friends_, my _boyfriend_, _and_ my popularity…not to mention I'd be choosing to surrender myself to emotion again. To painful emotions. Can I handle that…all those feelings?

My thoughts quickly switched over to the girl who passed by in front of me to go sit four tables away from me. I was sitting alone today in no mood to be bothered, but for some reason I contemplated getting up from my isolation to go sit with Jenna.

I was about to rise from my chair on impulse, when Ivy walked up and took a seat right in front of me. Her poisonous apple green eyes met mine, her ginger hair settling from the movement.

"Why are you sitting by yourself," she asked me concerned.

I rolled my eyes feeling aggravated, "Why do you care? You got Stacy and Tiffany so why don't you go bother them."

I saw hurt flash in her eyes for brief second until she masked her emotions, "Look, I don't know what's wrong with you…but Tori you can talk to me. You don't have to hide things from me…just be honest with me."

"_Be. Honest_? Yeah, okay Ivy, I'll be honest when you start doing the same," I replied bitterly to her concerned words.

Ivy scrunched her ginger brows in confusion, "What are you talking about?"

"You know exactly what I'm talking about Ivy. I'm talking about Jade. What really happened that day of the fight? Who started it?"

She stared at me surprised from the questions, but her shock was erased instantly with a small laugh. "_Jade_? Really, is this what this is about? Jade West, a girl who doesn't matter?"

"She matters to me," I said hotly in between clenched teeth.

Ivy laughed louder, "_Oh come on_ Tori you've got to be kidding me. I thought Jade wasn't important to you anymore. Don't tell me you're going soft again?"

My fizzling anger subsided slightly as my eyes lowered down to the table away from her face.

"That's it isn't it," Ivy spoke in realization. "Oh my God, you are going soft again. It makes sense now…the way you've been acting. I can't believe I didn't see it earlier. I mean you haven't messed with _anyone_ in days not even on that spineless nerd Jenna," her voice held revulsion at Jenna's name.

"You know her parents are dykes right? How disgusting," she said with a repulsed face.

I quickly looked back up at her my eyes going wide from shock. How does she know that Jenna's parents are a lesbian couple? I hadn't said anything, I promised Jenna I wouldn't.

"How do you know that?" I voiced aloud my concerns.

"My mom works with '_one of them'_…and you know my mother always assumed the woman was straight until she saw her and her so called _wife _kissing one day during my mother's lunch break." I could tell Ivy could not stand the thought of just even saying what her mother told her she had witnessed. It's evident on every part of her face that she finds the idea of two women being together unsightly.

"Can you imagine that…seeing two women _kissing_? It's just so…_unnatural_. It's supposed to be a guy and a girl. Not a girl and some other freak masquerading as a guy," Ivy declared self- righteously.

I bowed my head down staring at the gray table my fork stabbing into my salad repeatedly. I felt myself growing agitated from her words. I don't know why…but there is just this anger boiling inside me right now from all her stupid remarks. It's like when you start a fire and you try to put it out with alcohol it grows instead. That's exactly how I feel with Ivy. She's feeding all my anger, all my resentment…and I don't know what will come of this growing fire inside me.

I remained with my head bowed for a couple of more seconds till I finally stopped picking at my salad and looked up at her once again. I met her poisonous green eyes dead on. It seemed all this time she was silently waiting for me to agree with her.

"Well maybe some people are just born that way," I countered back feeling the need to defend Jenna's parents. Or is it more than that?

Ivy's jaw dropped, "Are. You. Kidding. Me? If anyone is _born that way_ obliviously they are freaks. Justlike Howard's parents, just like that _dyke_ Jade West, they are _all_ going to hell."

"Jade is not gay!" My voice left the inside of the walls of my throat as I yelled at Ivy. The fire inside me raging.

She stared at me with big eyes and oh expression on her face.

"Take it back. Jade is my friend and I won't let you call her something she is not," I said with my hands clenched into fists on top of the cold gray table.

"_Oh my God_. Okay…I get it now. Jade is not gay…_you are_. No wait…you both are."

My whole body tensed abruptly like if a shockwave had just coursed through me and had left me paralyzed.

"What? No words Tori," Ivy taunted in her most confident smile. "Thought so."

Her smile stretched further into that of a cunning serpent, and her poisonous eyes gleamed brighter as the lively red hair twisted to flames of a scorching fire, her voice that of a tantalizing liar. It seemed as if Ivy's attributes were suddenly coming to life in my eyes. The beauty that I had mistaken to be friendly turned out to be deathly.

"Tell you what Tori since you seem _sooo _at a loss for words right now I'll help you out. How about we make a deal?"

(Pause)

Ivy raised a ginger brow, "Let's say you do go back to your old ways. Be Miss Sweet Tori Vega. Do you think anyone will actually even believe you?"

My eyes held onto hers never straying away from the venom that was seeping into my veins.

"Face it Tori, no student here would actually believe you are you again. If anything they would know something is up. They would all know you are trying to cover something."

Ivy smirks, "And I believe I found out _exactly_ what you've been trying to hide."

She waits for me to counter back to fight back with words, but the snake's bite has left me crippled.

"So I leave it up to you Tori. Go soft gain while I tell the whole school the real reason why you are dying to get on their good side. Or you could stay alongside me and pick up where you left off?"

She drummed her nails on top of the cold dull gray table. "Time is ticking…and I'm sure Jenna wonders why you haven't been after her. Ivy chuckled, "What have you fallen in love with the little loser? _No wait_…you are still in love with Jade…_so _that's definitely not it."

(Pause)

She licked her blood red lips, her voice very serious now. "I'm willing to overlook the way you've been acting Tori…and even more _this _disease you're going through. I am your friend after all."

Ivy stood up from her seat and remained looking at me. "It's no wonder you were always hanging around her…_hugging_ her whenever you had the chance, standing up for her. It really does all make sense now. The night of the slumber party, the two of you all cuddled up together…Jade _kissing_ your neck. God, you make me _sick _Tori," she spoke to me absolutely nauseated.

She turned away from me about to leave until she stopped and turned her head back to me. "I'll cover for you today with the others…and I'll protect you. But the one thing I will not stand for…is you becoming some _dyke_." Her eyes narrowed at my face as Ivy finally stalked off away from me.

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><p><strong>The Next Day<strong>

I walked into school early reminding myself today is the start of a new morning as I headed to my locker. Today is a new day I told myself. Today will be better…I can make it through. Today will be better than yesterday. I was trying to gain back my positive attitude…it was once an aspect of what made me, _me_. I have to strive to find myself again…and being positive is something I have to relearn.

The all too positive momentum I was trying to build in my head quickly deflated like a balloon the moment I began to round the corner. There she was…Ivy in all her glory draped over Daniel! It wasn't a sight I hadn't expected to see this early in the morning, but regardless it stunned me. Danny is my boyfriend after all and seeing Ivy's arms laced around his neck doesn't sooth over with me too well.

I wanted to shout at her and confront her, but part of me wondered if I never rounded the corner what would Danny really do? It was complete curiosity that actually got the best of me at this point. So I stepped back and hid myself, spying on them from the corner of the wall.

My eyes peered over them silently watching as my ears listened in. I heard Ivy's voice.

"Come on Danny it's not wrong," she playfully teased him while biting her lip.

Danny stepped back one step Ivy following with her arms still around his neck. He seemed uncomfortable not knowing how to handle the situation of having Ivy stuck to him.

"Look Ivy, umm…I think you're really pretty and all…but I'm with Tori. She's my girlfriend you know. I really like her and…_this_ is wrong."

(Pause)

"I mean you're her friend?" I could tell Danny was confused by Ivy's motives. He was waiting for me at my locker like every morning and to his surprise apparently Ivy was trying to seduce him. Some part of me always knew she had a thing for him…most girls do.

She smiled, "_Well_ we are a little bit at odds at the moment…so you could say this isn't wrong since we aren't on good terms really."

Daniel studied her with his eyes gazing at her with question. I knew he was probably wondering what she meant by all that.

Ivy giggled, "Besides Tori isn't really into boys. So you and I wouldn't be considered cheating. She should just get the fact you want a real girlfriend."

Danny raised a brow. "What are you talking about? Ivy, of course it's cheating if I kiss you or do anything that I'm not supposed to." He shook his head from side to side. "What do you mean Tori's not into boys?"

She laughed again. "Come on Danny, you really don't see it?"

He furrowed his brows. "See what?"

"Torrii. She's _gay _Daniel…and I can tell she's just using you as a front."

Danny finally had enough and removed Ivy's arms from his neck with his hands. "I don't think that's for you to say. What makes you think she is that way," he spoke a little frustrated.

She smirked at him, "You remember Jade right? The _girl_ she was inseparable with."

Danny shook his head, "I don't believe you. Jade and Tori were just friends…and until I hear it directly from her that she was more than friends with Jade…well then I have nothing more to say."

Ivy crossed her arms and laughed amused. "Danny Danny Danny…when will you listen. You may not have seen it, but that's only because you weren't really looking. I've seen it first-hand so I know what I'm telling you. Jade and Tori have a thing for each other. Well at least Tori still does."

She took a step closer to him, uncrossing her arms and playfully poking him in the chest. "All I know is if you were _my_ boyfriend I would have slept with you by now. I bet Tori hasn't even let you gone second base with her." She titled her head slightly and raised a hand to play with her long ginger hair that stopped at her breasts. Daniels eyes followed her movements.

She teased, "Like what you see?"

Danny's eyes shot back up to her face his cheeks turning bright red. He was about speak when Ivy interrupted.

"Shh…I know you do. Just imagine how better it would feel to touch them." She smirked at him while closing the small space that had remained between them. Danny took another unconscious step back his back meeting the lockers as Ivy's body pressed against him.

Her voice came out low, "Here, let me help you." Ivy grabbed Daniel's hand and placed it on one of the sides of her breasts.

He visibly gulped; she bit her lip as she moved his hand over her. She looked to his lips and Danny looked to hers.

"_I know you want me Daniel_. There is no sense in fighting it. I see the way sometimes you glance at me. _I_ can satisfy you more than she could."

Ivy closed the final inch of space and kissed him. She moaned as Danny kissed her back all too eagerly. He moved his hand and felt her up; Ivy moaned again against him mouth.

I felt nauseated from the whole scene, my stomach feeling acid, my chest feeling constricted as I ran off to the direction of the back exit.

I slammed open the doors and stumbled out into the back exit of the school the morning sun barely lighting the still dark sky. How could I have been so stupid? I actually _believed_ Ivy was my friend. I even believed Danny never had feelings for her. I should have known, I always saw it…since I first began having lunch with 'The Click.' I guess…I just didn't want to believe it even after we got together.

Danny would always look at her, stare at her. Gosh how can I be so stupid? I fooled myself into thinking so many lies. I made my way over to the spot Jenna and I had been at the day I confronted her.

I plopped myself down on the remains of the broken curb my head in my hands. I shivered from the nip of the cool air. All this time I had been fooling myself. Danny did have- scratch that _does _have feelings for Ivy. I just never wanted to see it because…because I needed someone there for me.

Even though I acted strong on the outside I wanted to find a shelter I could throw myself into. I unconsciously had been trying to make Daniel my shelter…and it was all because of her…because of Jade. I missed her so much I tried to find a new friend, a new shelter, a new home.

Jade had been all I known since I was five years old and now here I am trying to find myself without her. Never would I have thought that one day Jade would no longer be a part of my life. That I would have become some horrible bully and lost myself along the way. I've made so many mistakes…including not trying hard enough to reach out to Jade.

I should have called more often, gone to her house and apologized. But I didn't do that…I let Ivy manipulate me and worm her way into my head. She took control over my thoughts and basically brain washed me to believe what she wanted me to.

She was never really my friend. She just _used_ me for her own personal amusement. And just look at me now, here I am feeling like an idiot for letting her control me. I lost my best friend because of her…and now I don't know how to go on without Jade.

I lost her and I lost myself…but I can't let the past hold me back. I have to move forward and find determination again. I raised my head from my hands and stared back at the school. I felt the warmth of the sun on my back knowing that it was rising hire now. I looked up at the sky seeing the dark painted with the light. I'm not going to cry anymore. I'm not going to cry over Danny or Ivy…no they aren't worth it.

If Jade was here with me I know exactly what she'd say. "Vega never give your enemy the upper hand." She would always tell me those same words when someone messed with her and I'd tried to defend her. Jade always thought that me defending her like that would show she was weak. So she would stop me, but sometimes I couldn't help myself.

I cared about her far too much to let things slip when people talked bad about her. And I know she cared for me too. I knew that she didn't really care if others talked bad about her…she was always mainly concerned about me. Jade was always more concerned if people tried to pick on me just because of her.

A light bulb went off in my head! That was it; Ivy had been using me all along to get to Jade! That's why Jade must have started wailing on her! Of course…she would try to protect me!

I stood up from my spot dusted my jeans off and walked back to the school. Ivy played us both and now I won't let her play me again. I won't let her control me anymore. I have to get rid of all the poison she's bled into my veins. She can do as she pleases. Ivy can say what she wants and try to mess with my head, but this time I won't give her the upper hand.

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><p><strong>I'm planning to write a short chapter for chapter 16 and hopefully that won't take me long. Honestly I've been really stuck and feel a huge sense of writers block :( but I try hard to make each chapter good for all my readers. I'm busting my head brainstorming ideas, but you guys are worth it. So I hope you guys will be patient with me. And I do promise I'm getting closer to a Jade and Tori reunion. <strong>

**Reviews are like Jori just can't get enough. 3  
><strong>


	16. Past and Present

**Well I'm glad that my reader's weren't disappointed in the last chapter! Thanks again for all the wonderful reviews and encouragement! Especially to those who tried to help me brainstorm. This chapter is shorter than most, but I hope that y'all like it. **

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><p><strong> Tori's POV<strong>

I came to a halt as my feet stopped at the edge of the curb. My lungs heaved with pain as I tried to catch my breath. I felt my heart rapidly beating, my pulse thrumming through my neck, down to my arms, and down to my wrists.

My body vibrated with adrenaline as I stood frozen in the cold December air. I looked at the street name to my right. I was on Humble Street, the Payton Art Museum right across from me now.

_Wow_…I haven't been there in years. Actually come to think of it… I haven't been in this area since Jade and I took a field trip here in Kindergarten. I'm not even quite sure how I managed to run this far?

My head suddenly flooded with images of a younger and smaller Jade West. Her features slightly different from before, but her eyes the same intense emerald green.

(Flashback)

"Just great Jade. Look at what you did," I said exasperated at her.

"Me!"

"Yeah you! It's your fault we're stuck here," I exclaimed as we were sitting on the front steps of the Payton Art Museum.

"Oh no! Don't you go blaming me for all this Vega! You're the one who decided to tag along!"

I could tell she was annoyed with me by the tone of her voice, but I just didn't understand why. All I was trying to do was be a good friend to her. Why has she been acting weird with me all day? "I had to follow you; what was I supposed to do, let you walk off?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Jade!" Now she was annoying me, but I knew I couldn't let her get to me. If I let her push me away, then all the effort I had put into our friendship wouldn't matter anymore. We sat in silence for a little while not looking at each other. After a few minutes, I couldn't take not looking at her. I cocked my head to the side observing her posture. Jade had her elbow on her knee as she leaned her cheek onto her small tight pale fist. She seemed distant and I know Jade is normally distant, but I thought we were just starting to be friends. "Jade -" I began but got cut off by the pale girl's boiling anger.

"What Vega, what!"

Her sharp tone made me wince, feeling like a puppy being scolded by its master. I stayed quiet for a second as I watched her scan the street of passing cars. She must really not want to focus on me because this whole time we've been out here on the steps, Jade has not looked my way. My throat felt dry as I spoke, "What are we going to do?"

She sighed, got up and started to walk off to the left of the sidewalk. Obviously I wasn't going to just stay by myself so I called after her. "Jade, where are you going?"

She stopped, turned around and finally faced me. "Just come on Vega."

I stood up from the hard grey steps of the Payton Museum and walked towards the pale brunette.

"Do you trust me?"

I was trying to read Jade's emerald eyes wondering what she was thinking. Jade was always a surprise to me; a beautiful mystery all her own. "Yes."

"Okay then," she said as she turned on her heel and began to walk again.

I followed, still wondering where she was leading me. "You still didn't answer my question."

She sighed, "To the park."

"What! The park! Jade that's not safe what about stranger danger!"

"Geez Vega, calm down. If some creep tries to talk to us, we'll just make a run for it. Or hey you could be the decoy meanwhile I make a run for it."

(End of Flashback)

It seemed no matter what I did physically or mentally I could not escape her. Even my usual stress reliving run has led me to her…to the past. Why is it that no matter where I go Jade always seems to be there?

No. I _can't_ keep doing this to myself. I can't keep going back to the past…I have to move forward. The more I look back on the past, the harder it is to separate from the present. I looked away from the museum and drifted my eyes to the sky, trying to shake off the feelings. It was grey and cloudy a storm quickly approaching in. I knew if I didn't move soon I'd get caught in the frozen rain that was threatening to fall.

It would fall fast and hit me with no mercy. _She_ hit me with no mercy. As soon as I turned my head back to look straight across the street there she was. My eyes landed on a pale brunette girl dressed in black and grey clothing. I could see her through the window of the coffee shop, leaning into the tan skinny boy with long black hair. She was leaning into his shoulder as he then put an arm around her pulling her into a tight hug. The tan boy smiled down at her as her face came to rest on his chest. The top of the boy's chin met the top of her head as he held her close.

The curve of her lips a small frown was now turning into a warm smile. A smile…she _never_ smiled. At least she never smiled like that…with me. This tan lean boy was making her _smile_. Something I've never seen from her. It was genuine and true…no playfulness to it at all, just pure vulnerability.

My eyes remained on the girl who has never left my thoughts. For the first time in almost two years here right in front of me now was Jade West. I could never mistake her for another girl even from afar. She was probably thirty feet away from me…but why then did it feel she was a mile away? I could run that mile and finally close the distance between us.

Yet I found I could not move my legs. I was cemented on the spot unable to take one step toward her. I wasn't sure if it was from fear, surprise, or sadness…but seeing her with _that boy_ broke me. She was with someone. Jade_ had_ someone all along. Maybe everything we had been through never once fazed her?

Maybe I was the only one really fighting all this time? The rain began striking my face and hitting me everywhere else as I stared on at the pale girl who was in someone else's arms. I had driven her into the arms of another without even trying. I lost Jade to this tan boy who was now stroking her hair.

He is her shelter. She needs him…and not me. For a second longer I kept my sight set on her, and then I ran off. I ran all the way back home in the ice cold rain letting a few tears slip, but holding back the rest. We are no longer apart of each other's world…and I have to deal with letting her go.

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><p><strong>Jade's POV<strong>

(That Same Day)

I could feel a pair of intensive eyes watching me from outside. My gaze moved to the window of the coffee shop scanning the people from across the street, but no one really caught my attention. I was getting the strange feeling I had missed something important.

"Hey you okay?" Beck's voice traveled to my ears in concern.

I titled my head slightly upwards from his chest to get a view of his eyes. "Umm…yeah I'm fine. Just feel a little bit out of it that's all."

His arms tightened around me. "It's okay you know…to admit that you're scared." Beck was trying to comfort me and I got that…it's just I'm scared to let my walls down. If I let him in who is to say he won't hurt me like everyone else has?

"It's not something everyone else goes through Jade."

I pulled my face away from his chest and retreated from his arms. I glared at him feeling a need to defend myself.

My voice filled with iciness, "_Don't_ treat me like some fragile little girl Beck. I'm not some small girl who is afraid of the dark."

Beck's soft chocolate brown eyes looked me over. "Jade stop trying to fight me. I know you don't want to admit it…but you do feel that way."

(Pause)

"Whatever walls you got around you right now…I'd wish you let them down. I'm _not_ going to hurt you. That's what you're afraid of isn't it?"

I stared at the tan boy that was looking at me with worried brown eyes. Beck had shown me nothing but affection for a year now. He had proved to me he was a loyal friend long ago…and yet I was still trying to keep him away. Would it be so bad for me to let him in? I blinked briskly and looked away from him.

"No." I answered myself aloud, but he must have assumed I was answering his question.

"Jade," he pleaded. "You came to _me_…in the middle of the night crying your eyes out. Do you think I enjoyed seeing you like that? No, Jade…I'm worried about you."

I felt his hand on top of my own that was on the black circular table. "You have to tell the police what happened."

I turned my head quickly to my left his calm face now in my view again. "I can't do that Beck. He's my _father_." A hot tear slipped down my face.

Beck wiped it away with the pad of his thumb, his other hand still on mine. "You shouldn't have to go through this…you or your mom."

Beck's voice layered gradually with anger, but he kept his expression calm. "He had _no_ _right _to hit your mother…and as for you… I'm glad you didn't stay there."

"I'm_ glad _you got away when you did."

More tears slipped down my face as I ran my free hand through my hair and clenched my teeth together. "I left her there. _I left her alone Beck_. I watched my dad hit my mom…and I just left. I ran away…what kind of daughter does that?"

His eyes saddened as we silently looked at each other.

"I'm such a coward."

He shook his head. "No you're not…Jade you're only thirteen years old. You couldn't have done anything." Beck squeezed my hand.

"No one at your age should have to go through that. _No one_ at all should have to witness their father beat their mother…but it happened. And what matters now is that you didn't get hurt Jade."

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><p><strong>Tori's POV<strong>

**8****th ****Grade Year: At Lunch**

"Tori you okay?" Jenna's voice seeped in as she waved her thin framed hand in front of my face.

I snapped out of my thoughts and lightly smiled. "Yeah I'm fine…just-."

"Jade?" I didn't know how to redirect the conversation when in fact it was about Jade. Why can't I stop thinking about her? It's been a week now and I can't get her face out of my mind. I can't stop thinking about her and…that boy she was with.

I nodded my head, "Yup…it's Jade again."

Jenna smiled softly, "I know you've said before that you're not into girls…but Tori are you-."

I cut her off and narrowed my eyes at her, "No. I can't- I don't like girls." I didn't mean for my voice to come out harsh, but Jenna was not bothered by it all.

Her smile widened. "Tori you don't have to get defensive about it. I'm just saying you shouldn't rule out the possibility."

(Pause)

I shot her a skeptical look with my eyes, "The possibility? Jenna there is no possibility."

She raised a light eyebrow giving me a skeptical look of her own. "So you're telling me in _no way_ do you have any feelings for Jade?"

(Silence)

"You sure think about her enough."

I ran a hand through my hair, "No…Jade and I were friends and I-."

"You what?"

"I recently saw her last week."

Jenna's eyes got big behind her black framed glasses which she had gotten since we became friends. "Wow really! What happened?"

I sighed and picked at the food in front of me with my fork. "Nothing happened. I didn't talk to her."

Jenna's mouth gaped open for a second until she decided to scold me. If I wasn't so sad I would have actually been laughing at her expression. "Tori! Why didn't you? You've been _obsessing_ over her since she left."

I rolled my eyes at her nagging and uncapped my water bottle to take a drink. "I haven't been obsessing Jenna. I've just been_ missing_ her that's all."

"Yeah I don't think you've_ just_ been missing her." She paused and then began again, "I think you have feelings for Jade…you just don't want to admit it to yourself. Well at least not right now, but Tori eventually you have to come to terms with your feelings."

I closed my eyes for a second and rubbed at my temples feeling a bit overwhelmed. "Jenna I've said it before and I'll say it again… _I'm not gay_."

There was a quiet pause between us as Jenna observed me.

"Tori I know you're afraid of what people might think of you…and I know there are rumors going around about you being gay…but maybe this doesn't have to be such a bad thing you know?"

"What are you getting at Jenna?"

"I'm saying who cares what everyone else thinks. Let them think what they want. Only you know what you want…not them. And if it so happens to be that you want Jade…I'm saying that's okay too."

(Pause)

"Give it a chance before you even shut the idea out. Really think about it. I don't know…I just think you should see this as an opportunity to look more into yourself."

I studied Jenna's expression and could tell she was just trying to be a good friend, but I refused her words.

"There is nothing to look at Jen. I'm not a lesbian."

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><p><strong>Tori's POV<strong>

**Christmas Break: Vega Residence**

The holidays had finally rolled around, and I was glad for it. I was sitting on the couch drinking my hot coco feeling the warmth of the fire spread around the living room. I wrapped my baby blue blanket around me tighter a great sense of relief washing over me. Not being at school having to endure the usual rumors…was a break I desperately needed. Those rumors were tiring me out…but I took it all on for Jenna's sake.

I had the choice months ago to choose between looking out for myself or looking out for someone else. Of course at the time, the moment felt hard to choose from because I was giving up a sort of immunity that I had gained from being in 'The Click.'

But in truth looking back I know I made the right move. I gave up all the things that I once thought were important for a girl who needed a friend. When I chose Jenna over Ivy that was the best revenge I could have gotten.

I know others in my place would have lashed out and made her suffer…but that's not who I wanted to be anymore. If I had set out for revenge on Ivy I would have been playing by her games…I would have been giving her the satisfaction of showing she got under my skin.

I still remember the look on her face when I stopped her from knocking Jenna to the ground.

(Flashback)

"You thought you were off the hook huh Howard? Well guess what…if Tori won't pick on you anymore…_I will_."

Ivy was looking at Jenna with hostility. The rest of the click just stood behind Ivy watching her every move.

Ivy smiled smugly. "Going to fight back _Coward_?" She waited for Jenna to answer her, but all the while Jenna stood silent. "No…I didn't think so."

The others chuckled as Ivy aimed to push Jenna. She was raising her arms about to forcefully knock her down when I intervened. I could no longer watch behind the corner.

I grabbed both of Ivy's arms by the wrists hard enough to stop her impact. Her apple green eyes shot open as she took in who had stopped her.

"Tori what are you doing? Let go of me," she demanded me in shock disbelief.

I held onto her wrists a second longer and squeezed harder making the skin beneath my fingers turn red. I wanted to do so much more to her…but I just shoved Ivy's arms roughly away from me.

Ivy was sent stumbling back a step, completely caught off guard. Everyone else gawked at me surprised by my sudden courage.

Ivy shook her head, her red locks bouncing. It seemed almost that she was trying to snap out of the haze I had put her in.

The hallway remained silent no one daring to make a move. Ivy finally brought herself back to the moment in front of her and took a step forward.

Her eyes became a darker shade of green as she spoke up. "What the hell was that Tori?"

I glared at her feeling anger of my own. "What does it look like Ivy? I'm tired of you and your games…so I'm ending it."

She bitterly laughed, "And how exactly are you going to do that?"

I calmed myself from the inside out to appear in control of the situation, "Simple I'm out."

Ivy stood quiet for a moment until she refocused on me. "You know what this means right, Tori. _This. Means. War._"

I snickered, "Maybe to you it does…but not to me. You can try and fight me all you want Ivy, but you'll just be hitting a brick wall."

She sneered angrily, "Physical abuse _isn't _really my style anyway…but words on the other hand I find cut _deeper_ than a punch."

I falsely grinned at her. "Go ahead…say whatever you want. I'm done with _you_, _'The Click', and Daniel_. I'm not going to stoop as low as you. All you are is an ignorant monstrosity who holds no compassion for anyone else."

Ivy was seething with anger now. Her face flushed a slight shade of red as she burned in hot fire. She stared at me obviously irritated that this time she wasn't going to win.

I turned my head to the right to face Jenna. She blinked up at me and then looked to Ivy. I could tell she was stunned by me taking a stand against Ivy, but even more stunned that I had come to her rescue.

I smiled down at her, tilted my head to my left signaling her to glance in the direction of the cafeteria. "Let's go."

Jenna nodded her head in agreement and the both of us made our way to the lunchroom leaving behind 'The Click.'

Before we fully disappeared Ivy yelled out. "I'm going to get you Tori! You'll regret everything you said!"

I halted and turned my head to look at her. I met her eyes from across the hallway and spoke calmly. "Go slither elsewhere Ivy…like I said before I'm done with you_._"

(End of Flashback)

Ever since then Ivy set out to make my life hell…but I tried hard to ignore her and the stupid rumors she spread about me. Saying I was gay, that Jade and I had been together and even the ones about Jenna and I having a thing together.

Jenna didn't mind whether people thought she was a lesbian or not. The small girl became stronger after all that. I on the other hand appeared strong at school…but I can't say that it didn't eventually get to me. I mean even now people still think I'm a lesbian.

Ivy might be gone now and off at high school since it's the start of a new school year, but her words still linger. Girls at school stay away from me as much as possible, especially during gym class. It seems like everyone is always talking about me. Guys and girls regularly taunt me…but I put up a good front and just try to make it day by day.

Sometimes it hurts when people look at you like some kind of alien and call you names…but when I start to doubt myself about the choice I made long ago I touch the violin pendant around my neck. I think back to Jenna, the girl who gave me the only thing that she really had left of her sister…and _that_ gets me through.

Sure she's no longer here, but Jenna was a good friend to me…and I'll never forget her. She might have moved away, but the memory of her will always remain. She brought me back to reality when I had tried to escape it…and for that I will always be grateful. Her story and her sister's story push me forward when I want to step back, pick me up when I feel low.

I remember her words. "Tori I'll always have my sister with me right in my heart…but _you _need this. You need something to remind you of how far you've come, how _strong _you really are, and you need something to remember me by."

That day she placed the violin necklace in my hand, gave me a soft smile, and said one last thing to me before she walked off. "It's okay to love what you're scared of."

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><p><strong>So I know what some of my readers may be thinking what the fudge? Why didn't Tori kick Ivy's ass! Right? I can't say that I didn't think about going down that route...but I felt it wasn't exactly what Tori would do. I let Tori be the bigger person and as for Ivy who knows maybe karma might catch up to her one day? As for Jade and Tori they are very close to meeting again. ;)<br>**

**Let me know what you guys have to say! Opinions or ideas are all welcomed!  
><strong>


	17. Unwelcomed

**To the readers who review you never cease to amaze me! Thanks for all the support thus far! And to those who just read and favorite or follow me I love you all just the same! I do apologize for my late updates though hope y'all understand.  
><strong>

**I do not own Victorious. (Which I forgot to include the last time and was too lazy to fix.)**

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><p><strong>Chapter 17<strong>

**Jade's POV**

I'm laying on Beck's red sofa, my crimson boots dangling a little off the edge. I had been waiting for thirty minutes now for him to finish getting ready, and I was fast losing my patience feeling bored and irritated that my boyfriend was seriously taking longer than me to get ready.

"Beck hurry up! We're going to be late." I hollered at him from the red sofa in his trailer. My phone suddenly buzzed signaling me I had just received a text.

I checked my Pearphone seeing Cat's name on the screen.

Cat- Where are you? Sikowitz is posting the cast sign up sheet for the play early!

I shot up from my laying position on the couch, my crimson boot clad feet meeting the carpet. Beck's voice trailed from inside his small bathroom, "Sorry babe. I just can't fix it today," I barely caught what he said since I was too focused on the text message I had just gotten from Cat.

Jade- What! Holy chiz are you serious! Damn! I'm at Beck's…he is taking forever to get ready.

Cat- Jade! No bad words! Eeep!

Jade- Oh my bad Cat it slipped. Do me a favor?

Cat- Sure Jadey. :)

Jade- Don't call me that. Stall Sikowitz until I get there.

Cat- :( Why?

Jade- So no loser signs up for the part I want Cat.

Cat- ;) Kk! Bye!

I rolled my eyes smiling a little at Cat's naive cuteness. My smile quickly faded though as I grunted loudly throwing myself back against the red couch. At this rate the world is going to end…and I'm going to miss the sign up sheet for the play I have been waiting months for!

"Ugh!"This boy takes longer than me to fix his hair. I remained a few more seconds lying on the couch looking at the ceiling above until I lost my patience (not that I have any really) and got up from the cushiony couch.

I marched my way to the bathroom and found a very messy haired Beck trying to fix his wild mane. Some of his hair was sticking up from different sections like he had just woken up from a nap or gotten a really bad hair cut. Boy he wasn't kidding when he said he couldn't fix it. That thing could break a chain saw.

My eyes scanned the many hair products on top of the bathroom sink. "Bingo!" I thought to myself as I spotted the mousse among the crazy collection of salon products. I ran the tap and ran my wet hands into Beck's hair, removing some of the earlier gunk he had put in it.

Then I grabbed the shiny black cylindrical shaped bottle and pressed down on the top feeling the cold white foamy substance in my hand. I stepped closer to Beck and quickly ran my hands through his dark brown hair. I smoothed and tousled his dark brown locks that looked almost black now until I was satisfied with the volumizied semi messy look.

Beck faced the mirror and raised a dark brow, "Hmm…it worked. Thanks babe." I rolled my eyes as he pecked my cheek and walked out the overly small bathroom.

I told him before to only use mousse instead of all that other salon junk he insists on using. Not only is all that crap bad for his hair, but it would save him a bunch of time if he just used mousse. Whatever, anyways I followed him out watching him frantically searching for a t- shirt to put over his white muscle shirt.

"You know the cast sign up sheet for Sikowitz's play is being posted today right," I grumbled.

Beck was now searching through a drawer of shirts. "What really? He said he wasn't putting it up till next week," he answered confused.

"Well you know Sikowitz…the man's a lunatic. One minute he decides one thing then comes up with something completely different."

Beck chuckled. "And here I thought Sikowitz was your favorite teacher."

I snickered, "Yeah well he isn't right now. Every time I audition for one of his stupid plays he turns me down, when clearly I'm better than all those other stupid girls."

Beck went to a second drawer and began ran sacking it. "Hmm…does he ever say why?"

I sighed feeling frustrated from just thinking of all the times I've come close to the lead in a play, but have had it pulled from under me. "Nope…that crazy hippie always just tells me some fortune cookie riddle that I can't figure out."

Beck had pulled on an old white graphic tee and moved over to the red couch. He was now putting on his black faded boots as I stood watching him with my arms crossed near his bed going on about Sikowitz. "The least he could do is just tell me what I'm doing wrong, but no Sikowitz has to sugarcoat all that shit."

He grinned up at me, "Sounds like someone is nervous about the play then."

I narrowed my eyes at him, "Can it Beckett I'm not nervous just frustrated that I might miss signing up for the lead because of you."

He chuckled lightheartedly and gave me a guilty grin. "Sorry babe but my truck wouldn't start and I tried fixing her up…but well you obliviously know the rest."

"Yeah, yeah now hurry up and get your jacket 'Mr. I Always Get the Leads,'" I retorted.

Beck cockily smiled, "Hey I'm just a really good actor. Maybe all you need to do is work on your technique a bit and-"

I cut him off and glared at him, "Finish that sentence and you're going to have to find another ride."

He shuffled his boots into the carpet looking slightly awkward and gestured clumsy with his finger towards the direction of his small closest. "I'll just go get my jacket," he replied.

I pulled out my Pearphone and texted Cat letting her know I was on my way.

* * *

><p><strong>Jade's POV <strong>

**Hollywood Arts 10****th**** Grade Year**

I rush into school moving past all the annoying people who were in my way. I _have _to get to the cast sign up sheet.

In all my hurry I even left Beck behind in the parking lot. Who knows if he is still there or barely entering school? Either way I don't care…all that matters to me right now is that play.

I have been waiting for Sikowitz's new small play for months even if it isn't one of the big plays this year at Hollywood Arts I still want the lead. I have been auditioning for lead after lead coming out empty handed.

And of course I've never gotten a direct statement as to why I haven't gotten a starring role. Crazy hippie.

I round the corner to come into the hallway with the three pin up boards: the middle red and the other two on the sides gray. Where the hell is it! Sikowitz usually posts the sign up sheets and cast lists for most of the plays here!

My eyes scramble over the boards again making sure the sheet really isn't there. I turn around and grunt, sprinting off down the hallway to round the corner in search for Cat. My head collides with someone's chest and I fall to the floor on my bum. "Ahh! Watch where you're going will you!" I groan loudly feeling my head pound from the impact.

My eyes move over from my crimson boots to take a look at the idiot who currently is crouched down on their legs checking on me. For a second I wonder if my eyes are deceiving me. My eyebrows furrow in confusion. Am I looking at a girl or a boy here? I rub at my right temple and close my eyes for a second thinking my vision is playing tricks on me.

When I open my eyes I'm met with intense crystal blue, their voice husky. "I'm so sorry. I ugh-."

I cut the androgynous looking teen off. "Are you a girl or a boy," I ask before even thinking of what I'm saying aloud.

The androgynous teen flashes me a bright slight crooked smile. "I'm a girl. Here let me help you up."

She stands up on her feet and offers me her hand, my eyes traveling up her body. She's skinny…muscular even, with short sandy, blonde shaggy boy hair. Shit am I checking her out? I take her extended hand and blink rapidly.

"Sorry about crashing into you I wasn't-."

I cut her off again. "Weren't looking where you were going yeah, yeah I got it."

She quirks a brow from the hint of annoyance in my voice, her blue eyes studying me. My eyes scan behind her and then back to her until I look down at our hands.

"Umm…you know you could let go of my hand now right?"

She blinks and her eyes travel down to our still locked hands. She shakes her head a bit and smiles sheepishly releasing my hand quickly. This time I study her while she scans the floor. My eyes roam to her arms, landing on the exposed skin of her biceps. Wow…definitely works out. Is that a tattoo under her sleeve?

Before I could examine any further she bends down to pick up something near my boots. I tilt my head down to see what she is picking up. But before I could fully see what she grabbed off the floor she shoots back upright and almost hits me. Luckily I manage to dodge the top of her head from clashing with my chin.

Her crystal blue eyes grow wide. "I'm sorry." The sandy blonde girl's voice comes out briskly and concerned.

I find myself laughing something that usually never happens, especially not with people who crash into me. I should be ticked right…that this wanna be girl looking Justin Bieber almost hit me again? Scratch that…she's_ way_ better looking than Justin Bieber. Not that I have anything against the Biebs. He's actually a pretty talented dude, wait what the fuck am I going on about again?

Oh right the girl! This androgynous looking girl who I should be pissed at right now…but here I am laughing like it's not a big deal?

Words leave my mouth before I have any control, "Its cool Blondie. It's no big deal…but I got to get to class."

I smirk at her and walk away leaving her standing there by herself. What the fuck was that?

Did I just call her Blondie? I don't even know the girl and I gave her a pet name? What the hell just happened? One minute I'm heading for the sign up sheet and then the next I'm crashing into Miss Androgyny, who I freaking flirted with!

I have Beck! And not to mention Jade West never takes it easy on anyone…well maybe except for Cat, occasionally. Wait the sign up sheet! Shit! I forgot to look for Cat and ask her where the frak (yes a reference from Veronica Mars) Sikowitz put it!

Ugh, whatever forget it! I probably missed signing up for the lead roles anyway.

* * *

><p><strong>Tori's POV<strong>

**Hollywood Arts 10****th**** Grade Year**

I'm freaking out as I walk behind Trina into Hollywood Arts. My eyes drift here and there taking in everything around me. _Wow_…this school is so different. Everybody here seems to mesh right in and me…well I just feel out if place.

As if on cue to try and calm my nerves Trina turns to face me gesturing with her hands. "See it's just a high school."

"Uh this is not just a high school, these kids are all artsy and creative and talented and I'm just…normal," I exhale a stressful breath.

Trina rubs my arm up and down soothingly, "Its_ okay_. There is nothing wrong with just being average."

I nod my head in agreement with Trina; of course she would say that she's _Trina_. "Anyway you're not alone. I got your back," she reassures me.

I smile at my sister feeling thankful she is here for me. "Okay-."

Suddenly this girl comes rushing up to Trina and pulls at her arm for attention.

Random girl- "Trina, Eric Polson just got his hair straightened!"

Trina and the girl exchange looks of excitement at this absurd news. "Shut up! Oh my god," my sister exclaims and runs off with the random girl chattering away.

"I'm alone," I yell after her. Just great, when my sister says she'll be here for me the next second she runs off for a boy's hair! Is a boy's hair really more important than me?

I look around me trying to spot someone I think friendly enough that will show me where my class is. My eyes land on a small red head girl.

"Hey! Um...Can you tell me-."

The small red head exclaims excitedly interrupting me, "Oh my god! You're Tori right!"

I smile from her reaction. "Ah ha."

"You were so awesome in the big Showcase!"

"Aww thanks," I respond flattered.

"My name's Cat," she says cheerfully.

"Oh like the animal," I point out trying to make conversation.

"What's that supposed to mean!" The small red head shouts offended while taking a step back from me.

I look at her confused by her sudden mood change. I quickly try to fix whatever screw up I caused. "Nothing I- I love cats."

Cat smiles cheerfully once again, "Oh me too they're so cute." And then she just walks off leaving me confused.

What? _Okay_…that was odd. I look around again for someone else who can help me.

I spot a boy with curly hair and glasses coming in through the doors and making his way towards my direction. "Hey…um. Uh," I sputter awkwardly.

He is passing me by when he says hi and then turns around suddenly surprised. "Hey! Hello! Female! Yes?" The boy announces startled and glances at the puppet in his hands.

"Can you tell me where Mr. Sikowitz's classroom is?"

He looks at me nervously. "Ah now okay if you head due North for about thirty paces."

"Paces?" The puppet in his hands buts in before the curly haired awkward boy could say anything else. "Man the girl's not a pirate," the puppet corrects him.

"This is none of your business," the curly haired teen bickers back at the puppet in his hands.

The puppet doesn't listen and speaks to me, "Sikowtiz down the hall, swing a left at the water fountain, second door on your right."

My eyes grow big as I nod dazed and say, "Thank you."

I slowly walk away from them and shake my head a little. Could this day get any weirder?

"Whatever it takes cupcake."

I whip my head around to look back at the boy with the creepy puppet. I wasn't quite sure which one of them said it. My eyebrows drew forward in confusion. The awkward boy quickly pointed his finger to the puppet as he saw my expression mouthing that it was the puppet who hit on me not him.

I just gave him a look signaling to him I was officially more confused than before and freaked out. I turned my head forward and began walking off again to my first class.

* * *

><p><strong>Tori's POV<strong>

**Sikowitz's Class**

I "swing a left at the water fountain" as the creepy puppet put it and make my way to the second door on my right. I'm anxious as I open the door to my first class and walk through. My eyes start to rove around as I overhear others talking a distance from behind me.

One of the voices sounds familiar…but I can't make it out just yet. I hear them getting closer. Is that Andre?

(Andre and Beck's Conversation)

Andre- "So I see you got Jade her coffee again."

My eyes grow wide and I freeze on the spot. Did I hear him right?

Other guy-"Yeah I had to. She ran off and well if she doesn't get her coffee she can get pretty grouchy."

Andre-"More than she already is? Is that possible?"

Other guy and Andre laugh.

Other guy-"Yeah believe it or not Jade _can_ get even grouchier."

I hold my breath feeling like the world is spinning. Could it really be? I abruptly turn around and bump into a tan boy spilling coffee all over his shirt. I squeal loudly and look down at his shirt.

"Oh hey…hey." The tan boy seems a bit surprised, but quickly smiles at me.

I panic, "Oh my gosh!"

"Ah it's cool," he tries to reassure me.

"No I spilled coffee on your ugh-." I quickly start to rub his shirt with the sleeve of my burgundy sweater trying to clean the mess. "Here I think it's coming out."

"Seriously it's okay…you're sweet but-."

"I think it's almost out."

"You might be making it worse actually." He chuckles and flashes me a charming smile.

My eyes go up to his and hold for a second as I slow down my rubbing. My arm moves slower on his chest as I softly smile back at him.

"Dude why you rubbing my boyfriend?"

My eyes pull away from the tan dark haired boy and land on a pale angry brunette girl. Our eyes lock onto each other; unforgettable emerald green clashing onto coffee brown. My breath hitches at the sight of an older Jade West. She's taller than before, with blue streaks in her autumn brown hair, and a piercing on her brow.

She's changed so much. I begin to wonder if she remembers me as we both remain silently staring at one another. Does she know who I am?

I decide to speak up and explain myself, "Oh I-I just spilled coffee on-."

"Get away from him," Jade cuts me off her voice sharp and demanding.

"_Relax_," the tan boy emphasizes trying to calm her down. He walks over to Jade and pecks her on the cheek.

She glares at me as he walks off. I remain looking at her not knowing what to say. My world was spinning before when I heard her name…but now it's come to a sudden stop. Here we are face to face again.

* * *

><p><strong>Jade's POV <strong>

**Sikowitz's Class**

I'm glaring at the girl in front of me who_ clearly_ doesn't know Beck is mine. She must be new here; otherwise she would have known no one flirts with _my_ boyfriend. And why is she looking at me like that? She should be afraid of me not staring at me. Its like she can't take her eyes off me and…I can't take mine off her. Wait _have I_ seen her before?

I hear Sikowitz voice yell out, "Oh my god there's a huge fire!"

Everyone starts to scramble around some even screaming until Sikowitz bellows out once more. "Kidding, kidding!" The class stops and looks to him.

"Just wanted to get your blood pumping which I did. Ha," he declares victoriously.

I roll my eyes that crazy hippie would be the only one who would lie about a fire for the sake of amusement.

"Alright now let's get started. Rumps in chairs," Sikowitz announces as he makes his way onto the stage and tosses his light brown hobo bag.

I swear the man needs a new wardrobe. I make my way over to my usual seat and sit down while Beck follows taking his seat next to me. My eyes dart over to the new girl who makes her way to the seat next to Andre which happens to be the one in front of me. _Great_ now I have to stare at the back of her head for the rest of class.

"He's our teacher?" the new girl skeptically asks Andre.

Andre nods his head in approval. Wait when did this happen? How does she even know Andre if she is new here?

Sikowitz cut across my thoughts when he gestured towards the new girl. "Okay first I'd like to introduce our new student Tori ah…hmm." He halts and smiles timidly at her, "Um…what is your last name dear? You see I'm not so good with names and faces."

She turns to Andre and he nods his head once more as if encouraging her not to be shy. I catch a glimpse of her hesitant smile. **No**…it can't be.

She looks back to Sikowitz and faintly speaks. "Vega."

Sikowitz smiles broadly, "Ah yes! Tori Vega! The young gal from the big Showcase!" He clasps his hands together and continues enthusiastically. "I heard you were quite the show stopper that night really made a name for yourself here at Hollywood Arts."

My mind went reeling as students started to clap and congratulate her. Tt-Tori…she's back, back in my life now. How did I not realize it earlier those plump cheek bones, her tan olive skin…those coffee brown eyes. As soon as she smiled that small hesitant smile I knew who she was. It was like a current ran through my body and stopped at my heart.

I could never forget that smile…it was the most common smile she gave people; the reserved cautious expression that kept people at a distance. The only person she never used it on…was… _me_.

The sound of applause was dying down as my ears picked up on Sikowitz voice. "And I'd like to thank Tori for her generous gift of two dollars which she handed me outside this morning not necessary **but much appreciated** hm." He stuffed back the two dollars he had quickly displayed to the class in his pocket.

Andre looked over at Tori confused, "Why did you give him two dollars?"

"I thought he was homeless," Tori stated obviously.

At that point my lungs started to work hard. My breathing picked up as Beck draped his arm from behind my chair and rested his hand on my shoulder. That's it I can't take sitting here anymore listening to Tori Vega talk to Andre Harris like if this were all natural. It's _not_ natural…she just can't waltz back into my life like nothing happened. I stood up suddenly knocking Beck's arm off my shoulder and marched to the door near the back.

I heard Beck's voice call me and Sikowitz start to address the class. "Now today we are going to continue our-"

I yank open the door with anger in my eyes and pursed lips, but I'm hastily stopped from walking out the class when a clash of intense crystal blue makes contact with my eyes.

"Hi," she mutters breathlessly with a small grin on her face.

I feel myself ease off my bubbling anger and my lips relax. "Hey," I breathe out.

We are both staring at each other until Sikowitz shakes us back into reality. "Ah Jade how nice of you to get the door."

I shake myself out of my stupor and step aside letting the androgynous teen through. She walks into the classroom and looks around at everyone's faces. Her eyes eventually fall back on me and then direct back to Sikowitz when he speaks.

"So who might you be," Sikowitz asks curiously.

She smiles, "I'm Kate…Connors."

"Kate Connors, hmm…I assume you're new to Hollywood Arts. Am I correct?"

"Yes Sir."

Sikowitz laughs buoyantly, "Haha! Sir that's a good one!" He craps up laughing. "Can you imagine? Sir…**me**!" At this point everyone in the class is staring at Sikowitz like he's crazy, which in fact isn't all that far off. His laughter begins to fade from the many looks of confused students.

He is left with an awkward grin on his bearded face. "I guess I'm the only one who found that amusing," he states more to himself than the others. "**Anywhooo **you can call me Sikowitz…no need for Sir or Mr."

"Kate! You may sit your rump in an empty chair and then we shall begin," Sikowitz bellows out.

Kate looks to me and raises her brow in a way that's asking me is this normal behavior. I nod my head, "You get used to it after a while."

Kate makes her way to an empty seat while I remain standing, contemplating running off like before. I can feel the eyes of the other students watching me even _hers_. I could just walk out and not have to deal with Vega…but _no_ I got a better idea. I smile slyly and take my seat next to Beck again a plan already formulating in my head.

Sikowitz begins to move on stage towards the dry erase board. "Alright now that we are all present lets begin!" He pauses on stage, "No wait…ah ha! That reminds me I forgot to pass around the sign in sheet for today."

He unfolds a paper from his pants pocket and hands it to one of the students. "It's a new thing that the school wants done to know that students are _actually_ showing up to class."

I shake my head putting things together. "Wait…_sign in_ sheet? You're telling me that's what all the fuss was about?"

"I beg your pardon Jade?"

"**Cat**, she told me today you were posting the sign up sheet for the play."

Sikowitz beams at Cat. "Caaat is that why you were delaying me from getting to my class this morning."

Cat smiles completely clueless. "Yeah whaty?"

"Well never the less it was the _sign in_ sheet I was referring to _not _the sign up sheet," he says to both Cat and I.

"Oops," Cat utters quietly. I glare at her from my seat since Beck is in the way of me smacking her.

"Sorry Jadey,"she whimpers.

"Don't call me that," I hiss at her.

"Eeep!"Cat squeals covering her face with her hands.

"_Jade_. Settle down now so that we may finally begin the lesson."

I try to calm myself even though I'm feeling so many _freaking_ emotions run through me at one time. Seriously I'm annoyed at Cat, angry at Vega, and confused because this Kate girl all of a sudden shows up. Both Vega and Kate just show up out of the blue and now I don't even know which direction to focus my attention on.

"As I was saying before we are going to continue our study on group improv. Tori I assume you're familiar with improv," Sikowitz questions.

"Ah. Well yes and no," Tori responds.

"What does that mean?"

"No," she states flatly admitting the truth. Of course she wouldn't know she probably has zero talent like her sister.

Sikowitz walks to the board and begins to explain. "Okay crash course improv…acting without a script. Which means the actors must make up their own actions and dialogues as they perform the scene understood?" She is about to speak when he interrupts, "Excellent! Jade you will captain the first group of the day. Choose your actors."

I sigh and walk up onto the stage looking around the class bored. Hmm…let's make this interesting. What if I call both the new girls onto the stage? Maybe one of them will surprise me _or_ I might surprise one of them. "Cat, Kate, _Beck_…and Tori." At the mention of her name Tori looks up to meet my gaze. I can tell she's confused and a bit nervous when she turns to look at Andre.

Sikowitz- "Okay let's give them a place."

Robbie- "Home!"

Sikowitz- "**Home**!"

Rex- "Oo real creative."

Robbie- "You be quiet!"

Rex slaps Robbie. "Ow!" Gotta say sometimes I like that puppet.

Sikowitz- "And now we need a situation."

Andre -"Big news."

Sikowitz- "Andre nobody wants to see big nudes."

Andre- "News."

Sikowitz- "Aah well that's different."

I walk over to Tori and direct her, "Ah why don't you go wait in the hall."

She looks to me briefly seeming slightly awkward, "Ah um okay." She makes her way off the stage and to the door up front of the class.

I know she knows who I am and I know who she is. But if I still know Vega I'm guessing she thinks things are healed and in the past now. Well she's about to find out I hold grudges.

Sikowitz- "Okay at home _big news_ and action!"

Me - "Hey babe how was work today?"

Beck -"Ah I got fired."

I sigh sadly as Kate and Cat change their voices to sound like little kids.

Kate- "Again?" Cat- "Our daddy's a loser."

I cheerfully declare, "It's okay. I have great news that will cheer up this whole family." I start walking off the stage over to the front door and pause beside Tori.

Cat- "What is it?" Kate- "Tell us!"

"I went to the animal shelter…" I grab her arm and pull her gently onto the stage my hand burning. "And got us _a dog_!"

Tori quickly looks over to me unsure and puzzled. I smirk back at her. She looks to the class and hesitates, "Ah yup… I'm the new family dog…woof."

I step forward and draw more attention to her. "Sikowitz would you please tell this amateur that dogs can't talk." I turn my head and fix my accusing eyes on her. "And that they don't walk on two legs." I wait for him to say something, but he doesn't. "Sikowitz!"

"Oh I'm sorry I was sucking the milk out of this coconut." Sucking milk out of a coconut? What other teacher does that! "But its true Tori if you're going to play a dog **be** a dog."

I raise my brow showing satisfaction as my eyes look over her expectantly.

Tori succumbs on her knees, hands and feet planted on the ground like an actual dog. "Woof."

Sikowitz-"And action!"

Me- "I went to the animal shelter and got us a dog!"

Cat and Kate rush over to pet Tori. Cat- "Wow!" Kate- "Awesome!"

Beck- "Can the dog sleep in our room?"

I shoot him an angry glare, "No! Honey it can't!"

I move closer to Tori once again and begin to touch her. I stroke her hair lightly and pull part of her hair softly. "Uh oh looks like this dog has bugs in her fur."

"Uh woof," she responds.

Cat- "Ew!" Kate- "Gross!"

"Oh its okay I read on the internet that coffee works great for getting rid of fur bugs." I walk over to some boy in the class and snatch his iced coffee from his hands.

Beck- "Maybe you shouldn't um-."

Andre- "**Jade."**

I step up back onto the stage and without a moments hesitation I uncap the drink and pour the cold coffee on top of Tori's head. Her eyes shut automatically and her mouth hangs open as the cold dark liquid splashes onto her hair and runs down her face. The final clash: the ice.

She stands up and looks at only me, her eyes filled with disbelief. No words seem to form from her open mouth as I remain apathetic from her distress. Did she really believe we hadn't broken like that ice that hit her head?

I humiliate her further, "What's the prob **dog**?"

Tori's coffee brown eyes bore into mine for a second more until she can no longer stand to look at me. She runs off the stage to the back door of the class and is gone. I'm smirking on the outside to the class…but inside there is so much more that's eating at me. Tori Vega may be back in my life, but it doesn't mean she's welcomed.

* * *

><p><strong>So...who just is this Kate person? Maybe some of you are asking who she is and why she's in the story? Well I can't reveal too much all I can say Kate is a good person not evil like Ivy or anything. I hope my readers come to love her and not hate her. As for Tori and Jade well...they definitely have things to work out. I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter and liked my twists of things.<br>**

**P.S.- Tomorrow is Liz Gillies Birthday! Yay!**

**Reviews are my drugs 3  
><strong>


	18. AN

Author's Note

So I have bad news...I won't be updating my story for a while right now. My computer crashed cause of a stupid virus and well...I need to save some money in order to backup my files. I was already working on the new chapter when my Dinsouar (computer) just froze. So I'm sorry to all the readers who have been waiting for an update. It pains me that I won't be able to post anything new till this problem is all fixed.

But I do want to say thank you for the reviews and follows from the last chapter. Hope that you all will still stick with me.


	19. After the Coffee

**My lord has it been what like months now that I haven't updated! I am dearly sorry to everyone who has been waiting for a new update. Every time I would get a new review I would get so mad at myself since there was no way I could write anything new and update. But finally my old computer Dinosaur gave out and good news is now I have a cool laptop which I love! **

**Anyways I just want to say thank you to everyone who was patient for this new chapter and very much love for all my past reviews!**

**I will never own Victorious and that sucks since they are canceling :( **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 18<strong>

**Tori's POV**

**Hollywood Arts (After the Coffee)**

When Andre said I belonged at Hollywood Arts something inside me began to burn; a match had been lit and a small fire was beginning to form. I felt myself begin to smile for a second remembering the feeling of being on stage...hearing the people cheering me on. Everyone there that night at the Big Showcase believed I was talented enough to go to Hollywood Arts.

But my very small smile never grew any wider as the present was crashing down on me hard. The brief feelings of the showcase moment quickly dissipated as I watched Andre turn the corner to make his way back to Sikowitz's class, back to where _she_ was. I don't- I can't go back like him. I can't just walk back into that classroom and act like nothing is wrong.

He doesn't know Jade and I share a history. A history she clearly hasn't forgotten about. And I don't blame her...how could anyone forget moments like those, moments like ours. Her and I were best friends and everything that came between us is all she can remember. All I remember is my former best friend...the girl who used to push me on the swings at the playground during recess, the girl who used to threaten anyone who tried to pick on me with her stashed away scissors...the girl who held my hand when we watched scary movies at her house.

_That_ was the Jade I remembered. But this girl now...the girl who poured iced coffee on me and humiliated me in front of the whole entire class_...that's_ not my best friend anymore. Jade isn't who she was before. She might have teased me back when we were younger, but she was never...**cruel** especially not with me. I had searched her eyes for any sign of the old her...but the emerald eyes I had grown to love stared back at me with nothing but hate. I'm afraid her heart has turned to charcoal.

**Tori's POV**

**Vega Residence (Later at home that same day)**

I was watching my performance at the Big Showcase when I felt Trina plop down beside me on the couch. "You know you're actually _not_ terrible."

I tried forcing a smile and nodded my head at my sister's supposed supportive comment. I sighed pausing the video having that "sister sister moment" most siblings get when one wants to talk to the other. Trina's voice slipped out with disbelief, "You're really going to quit Hollywood Arts?"

I looked at her sadly knowing she didn't expect me to give up, but really it was no surprise to me anymore. Lately at my old school Sherwood I hadn't really been trying anymore. I was trying my best to push past rumors and teasing from my classmates there...but eventually I grew tired. So I began to try less. Trina just never picked up on that fact.

I felt myself at a loss not knowing what choice to make. "What do you think I should do?"

"I think you should come back," she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world to do...but is it for me?

I sighed again worry eating at me, "Trina...Jade goes to school there, and I can't-."

"You can't what...go back to school? Tori I heard what happened."

My brows furrowed, "You did?"

"Yeah I did. Hollywood Arts tends to talk it's like the school really is Hollywood you know. A smaller version of it of course, but still when the gossip involves Jade West it definitely gets around."

I remain looking my sister with wonder. "Why does it matter if Jade's involved?"

"Let's just say in the last year Jade's made quite a name for herself. She's Hollywood Arts' very own _notorious_ bad girl."

My brows raise up high, "Wow...she must have some reputation then."

"_Oh yeah_. People _literally_ turn and run the other direction when they see her coming. It's like she's Jaws or something. She'll bite your arm off as soon as she gets the chance."

I laugh out loud a little feeling the small vibration rack through my chest. "Yeah that sounds like Jade," I say nostalgically.

My eyes drift away from my sister's face to my crossed arms. Silence falling between us as we both stay quiet for a minute Trina looking at me with worried eyes and me...well my mind was racing with the many images of a younger pale green eyed girl.

Trina softly spoke, "Tori...I'm sorry."

I stop staring at my arms and look back up to her. Our eyes meet and I can see something is bothering my sister. "About what Trina," I inquire curiously.

Her sentences come out rushed and panicked. "That I never told you I knew Jade was going to Hollywood Arts ever since my sophomore year there. I really am sorry Tori I should have warned you sooner. Right before you decided to go through with attending I should have said something. It's just I thought maybe you two wouldn't run into each other since the school is pretty big, but I was wrong. And I feel horrible because-."

I chuckle a little, "_Whoa_ there...slow it down Trina. It's okay take a breath. Eventually I would have found out on my own anyway."

She took in a much needed breath and smiled at me. I very lightly grinned back at her and jokingly feigned surprise, "Wow. I didn't know you cared so much about me."

She rolled her eyes at my comment, "Yeah yeah whatever you nerd of course I care about you. Why else would I put up with you."

"Ha! Put up with me! It's more like I put up with you," I jeered.

Trina's mouth gawked as she gasped, "How could you say that? After all the times I've been there for you."

I smiled, "_Oh really._ Name one time you helped me with something."

She excitedly pointed an accusing finger at me, "There was that one time when- oh no wait." She stopped wagging her index finger and retracted it from me. "Well what about that one time when- nope not that. Or when-hmm...that didn't happen."

I look at her amusingly gosh what kind of sister do I have. Sometimes even I question if we're really related. "Aha! That time I helped you with getting away with your Chem. test," she exclaimed triumphantly.

I gave her a skeptical look. "Is that really what happened Trina? Cause if I remember correctly I did ask you for help on how to tell mom and dad I failed my Chem. test, but I do recall you saying- no wait _yelling_ quote on quote "Tori I don't have time to talk about your stupid test!"

She put on a shocked face and gasped once more. "I did not!"

"_Oh yes_ you did," I stated firm and sure.

"You caught me at a bad time I was trying to get ready for my date," she defended.

My smile grew wider, "And how did that go again? _Oh wait_ I remember you wore a white suede suite which _coincidently_ looked a lot like Mom's expensive white suede suit that you spilled marinara sauce all over! That ring a bell sis?"

"What, I needed something sophisticated to wear! Plus it was a five star restaurant of course I had to dress high class! But yeah I remember alright," Trina grimaced as if flashing back to that moment. "The guy never asked me on a second date after that."

I nodded my head with a big smile on my face, "And Mom and Dad didn't even care when I told them I failed my Chem. test that night."

Trina glared at me, "Whatever Tori you're just lucky I did all that for you."

I began to laugh hard and Trina broke out in a wheezing fit too. I got to love my sister for that. She may not be gifted in advice, but when it comes to making me laugh she always knows how. Not to mention she can always put a smile on my face when I'm feeling blue. And I'd take laughing over any good advice anytime.

Eventually Trina and I stopped fighting for air and breathed normally again. We remained smiling at each other until my lips pulled back into a frown. For a second I did forget my problems and my worries...but it came to me instantly a moment later.

Trina must have noticed that her temporary distraction wasn't keeping me distracted anymore. "I still think you should go back you know," she stated calmly.

"Why," I countered feeling like there was no reason for me to go back at all.

She gently shoved my arm and playfully teased me, "So I won't be known at school as the girl with the lame little sister who quit on her first day." Trina got up from the bright orange couch and began to make her way to the stairs.

I chuckled at her last great words of wisdom at least that is what she would consider helpful. I hadn't taken notice that she had paused from making her way up the first tiny stairs until her voice met my ears. "And I think you were really good in the Big Showcase."

"Thanks Trin," I smiled.

"_But I_ would have been _amaazzing_," she singed song as she scurried up the main stairs.

I bit my lower lip shaking my head with amusement at my sister as I refocused on the laptop screen in front of me. I would have to make a choice tonight. Go back tomorrow or don't show up at all. And really what would be worse running from my past or giving up on my dream? Yes Tori Vega has always wanted to secretly perform and now that I have that chance what choice do I make?

Go for the spotlight I've always wanted or stay away from the dangerous heart of Jade West? I closed my eyes feeling weighted down and took a deep breath holding it in. My mind filled with Andre's voice, "Okay this school is not normal. You're not normal either. I've seen what you can do on stage you're special, you're_ fantastic_, you belong at this school. Normal's boring."

I let go of the breath I was holding in and my shoulders slumped forward. My hand reached up to my neck and played with the violin pendant I've never stopped wearing. If I go back to Hollywood Arts it sure isn't going to be without a fight.

* * *

><p><strong>Jade's POV<strong>

**The Next Day (Sikowitz Class 1st Period)**

The students in class were all talking avidly with each other while I sat in my chair not bothering to open my mouth. Rather than talking like everyone else I was observing, well more like staring at one particular person. She's wearing black skinny jeans with a tight fitting stone grey v- neck t-shirt that defines her toned arms, along with a pair of black faded boots. Her boy short shaggy hair is somehow perfectly messy, the tiny sandy blonde wisps barely touching her forehead.

I haven't been able to keep my eyes off her ever since this morning in the hallway. Kate has been doing the same. It's like we can't help but steal glances at each other when the other isn't looking. Like right now the chick sitting next to her is talking away, and Kate seems to be listening no matter how much the girl won't shut up. Meanwhile here I am with fixed eyes on solely her. Why can't I stop staring at her? I haven't caught myself actually looking at girls in a long time. Ever since Beck and I got together I stopped. Crap!

She's looking at me! Okay, okay play it cool and act natural. Her intensive crystal blue eyes are now locked on mine. I want to tear my eyes from her's but know that'll easily give me away. So I remain looking across the room into her ocean like eyes that are swallowing me whole. Kate shyly smiles at me and my stomach does a somersault. I feel the corners of my mouth slip into a small smile of my own.

The sudden thud heard from the room breaks our eyes apart and shifts our direction to the front of the class. All the students stop talking and stare at Sikowitz who apparently staggered in through the window.

He gets up quickly and greets us, "Good morning young performers."

Kate looks to Sikowitz confused. "Why'd you crawl in through the window?"

He smacks his hands wildly and exclaims pointing towards the window, "_Because_ being a good performer is about making _interesting choices_."

"That explains his pants," I quip back.

The class laughs while Sikowitz shakes his teal black vertical striped pants to emphasize my comment. At that precise moment the door begins to open and everyone looks to the back of the class catching Tori Vega walking in. My back straightens up immediately from my slumped relaxed posture, my eyes growing wide with discomfort. Didn't I get rid of her? Didn't I make myself clear yesterday that she was unwelcomed? I don't get why Vega's back but she better keep her distance.

Sikowitz points out the surprise that everyone must be feeling. "Tori you're back. Have you ever thought about coming in through the window?"

Vega makes a face of confusion, "No."

"Think about it," he suggests as he burns through his next words quickly."Now sit, sit. Okay today we are going to do some alphabetical improv. What is alphabetical improv you ask? So I _answers_ when we give a letter the first actor in the scene will be using the letter A. As an example the first actor must make his word start with the letter A which might go something like," Sikowitz points to Beck.

"Apples are falling out of my butt," Beck remarks.

"Lovely. Now the next actor who speaks must start his line with the next letter in the alphabet in this case B he might say." Sikowitz walks over to Andre and clasps his hands on his shoulders.

"Bring those apples so that we all may enjoy the fresh fruit from Beck's butt," Andre cleverly responds.

Sikowitz shakes his head in approval, "Charming. Now who wants to lead the first group."

"I do," Tori raises her hand to volunteer.

Sikowitz encourages her, "Alright Tori choose your actors."

Vega makes her way up to the stage and smiles. "Okay. Andre, Cat, Beck...and Jade." I look to her and raise my brow surprised that Vega would actually have the nerve to call on me of all people. "Yeah you," she confirms strongly. I shrug and nonchalantly make my way up to the stage.

Beck and I are the last ones to make our way onto the stage, but before we start I place my hand on his neck and pull him in for a kiss proving my point to Vega that Beck is mine. The kiss lasts only for a few seconds something about it feeling slightly off to me. Before I can go into deep thought my mind focuses on the matter at hand.

Sikowitz makes a face and retorts, "Jade kiss your boyfriend on your own time."

I smirk teasingly and hint to Beck, "Oh I will."

"Okay if you start your line with the wrong letter errrh! You're out," he informs. "Robbie give us a letter."

Robbie's stupid puppet shouts, "P!"

Sikowitz repeats, "P!"

Robbie complains, "Ahh! I was going to say P."

Sikowitz directs us, "Okay the scene can be about anything you want. The first letter of the first line is P. Tori action."

Vega quickly turns to me first, "**Please** go take a shower."

I retaliate with, "**Quit** telling me what to do."

Beck interferes, "**Relax **girls lets all try to get along."

"Totally," Cat exclaims happily.

Sikowitz cuts in, "Eh err! Cat your line had to start with an S.

Cat shouts, "Salami!"

"It's too late Cat."

"Ah! My life's the worst!"

"Here's a piece of candy," Sikowitz offers.

Cat strolls down the stage and happily takes the piece of candy from Sikowitz's hand, "Yay! I love candy!"

"Alright Andre letter S to you," he directs us once more.

"Something just bit my toe," Andre gestures to his foot.

Tori rushes over to Andre and points close to where his foot is at nothing while blurting out, "Turtle! That turtle just bit his toe!"

I scathingly remark with annoyance in my voice."Unbelievable that you're even here."

Beck steps in front of me and defends Vega. "**Very** immature of you to say that."

Really is he kidding me. I stare back at him with a confused expression. He's my boyfriend he should stand by me not her. The four of us and the rest of the class stay silent feeling the tension growing within the classroom.

"Come on Andre W," Sikowitz drags us out of the silence.

Andre acts panicked and looks to the three of us. "What if the turtle bite broke my toe bone?"

"X-rays are the only way to find out," she smiles affirming Andre.

"You should shut up," I quickly interject at her.

Beck smoothly shifts the attention back onto Andre."Zap! I just healed your toe with my magic finger."

"Thanks," Andre responds out of politeness.

Sikowitz makes another fake buzzer noise to signal Andre is out. "Errh! Andre your line had to start with an A. Sit down!"

"Aw. I just got my tone bone fixed," Andre says disappointedly and walks off the stage to sit back in his chair.

"Tori letter A to you." Sikowitz gestures with his hands attention on the last three of us.

Vega speaks to Beck. "Aliens are the only people who can heal toes by finger zapping."

I take a step between them and turn my head to her."By the way (makes spit sound with her tongue.)" Tori rolls her eyes at me as I turn my body and walk back to where I last stood.

Beck steps closer to Vega. "Correct, I am an alien."

Tori gasps pretending to be shocked.

Sikowitz's fully into our little challenge exercise now."Oh! Ah twist!"

"Don't hurt me! Please." Vega pleads and steps even closer to Beck.

I walk closer to them both and put her down."Even though she's extremely annoying."

She rolls her eyes at me as Beck sways on his feet. ."Fainting cause I can't breathe your Earth's air." She grabs his arm and tries to keep him up, but Beck pulls himself down to collapse on the floor.

Tori looks to me worried and points her finger at Beck. "Gosh it fainted."

Sikowitz happily encourages just Vega and I now."Excellent Tori and Jade keep going! The next letter's H!"

I falsely start up joyfully and turn my head to Tori. "Hey why don't you go jump off that cliff over there?"

She counters back, "I think you should."

"Just where did you come from?"

"Kangaroos."

I narrow my eyes at her and take a few steps on the stage. "Lousy animals Kangaroos they're awkward and dirty." I face her as I finish saying my line waiting to see her reaction.

She smirks at me for a second and then stares back at me with anger in her eyes. "Maybe they learn from you."

The class ooh's not believing that this girl was actually pushing against me. I grin mockingly she thinks she can beat me fine I'll let her push, but she is not coming out on top. "**No one** talks to me like that."

"Obviously someone should."

My anger boils at her small biting tone. "Please run in front of a bus!"

"Quite obnoxious of you to say."

"Really?"

"Sure was."

"Thanks!"

"Up your nose I see boogers."

"Very clever."

"Wished you've thought of it?"

I swear I'm losing my patience with Vega. If she pushes me too far I won't hesitate to do the same. I point at her face, "X marks the spot I'd like to punch!"

Tori shakes her head, "Your finger smells weird!"

I walk away from her as soon as I say my line feeling aggravated. "Zero is what you are on a scale to 1 to 10."

"And back to the letter A!"

Tori turns to face me, "As if I care what you think!"

"Better watch yourself," I warn her.

"Can't take it?"

"Don't push me!"

"Eat your pants!"

"You eat your pants! Wait!"

"Arrh! Sorry Jade the next letter was!"

"F! I know!" I shoot Vega a glare before I stomp off the stage completely enraged.

Andre speaks up, "Hey the alien's moving!"

Sikowitz claps, "Keep the scene going! Letter G!

She rushes to grab Beck by his arm and pulls him up."Get up alien."

Beck acts off balance, "Head feels dizzy."

Tori smiles smugly, "I know what will make you feel better." I'm on the edge of my seat anticipating what she means from the tone of her voice.

"Jumping jacks?"

Tori smiles wider, "Kiss me." I straighten myself out from my crouched position looking at her with doubt. She _wouldn't_ dare.

"Little weird. Let's do it," Beck agrees.

They kiss and my anger is red hot...but even more disturbing it's not because Beck is kissing her back. No...it's because she is kissing him. They break apart and Tori smiles too overly satisfied for my liking. "Man I love this school," she breathes out.

And at that I shatter. I look away from Beck and her to catch concerned crystal blue eyes watching me. I let my eyes hold onto only her as the bell rings signaling the end of class. I speedily grab my Gears Of War bag and am out the door before anyone can catch up with me. I don't look back for Beck or for Vega or anybody...I don't want to look back. But why is it now that all I see is electric blue.

**Jade's POV**

**A Week Later (At Hollywood Arts)**

"Jade! Wait up! You need to talk to me you know." I hear Beck's voice close behind me as I walk down the main hall where all the lockers are at. I pick up my pace taking big strides to get away from him.

"I don't need to talk to you at all Beckett! I'm late for class," I shout back without even turning to look at him.

"We have five minutes left," he states confused.

"Yeah well...sucks to suck doesn't it." With that I leave him lagging behind as I turn the corner mixing myself into the crowd of juniors and seniors at Hollywood Arts. I know that this side gets more crowded than the freshmen and sophomore side so he won't have a chance of catching up with me.

I keeping walking in between some students while others move away quickly as they see me coming. I turn another corner making my way down the hall to my photography class. I walk into the class Mr. Hawthorn at his little counter in the far right corner already pouring two cups of coffee.

"Make sure it's black with two sugars," I remind him as his back is turned to me.

Mr. Hawthorn chuckles and grabs two pink sugar packets from his small rectangular brown cardboard box labeled sugar. "Good morning to you to Jade."

I walk up to stand by his side grabbing one of the black coffees. He turns his head to face me and hands me my two sugar packets smiling. "Here how about you fix it. Last time I did you refused to drink it since I poured milk in it and then dropped it in the trash right in front me."

I nod my head once and rip open a sugar packet pouring it into the black hole of my cup. "Yeah well I like my coffee bitter. And I'm sorry that some of it splashed onto your shirt."

Mr. Hawthorn smirks as he looks to his coffee starting to pour the milk in it. "Don't worry about it. I was actually happy you ruined that shirt anyway. Never liked it."

I smirk and pour the second sugar packet into my coffee, "I can't imagine why."

"Haha go ahead laugh, it was the ugliest shirt in the history of worse shirts."

My smirk widens as I chuckle stirring the black hot liquid with a plastic spoon, "Yeah that thing was not ugly it was painfully disturbing to anyone's eyes. I did you a favor by helping you get rid of it."

He laughs, "And I thank you. Though my wife doesn't. You ruined her favorite shirt that she got me for my birthday."

My brows go up, "_Wow_...that was a birthday gift. Gosh I can't imagine what she'll get you for Christmas."

Mr. Hawthorn laughs once more at my horrified expression. Then cringes with big eyes, "You and I _both_ don't want to know."

I laugh at his response and hear students finally shuffling into class. I smile one last time at Mr. Hawthorn and go to take my seat in the back of the class. I'm beginning to like him more and more each day. Actually I think I like him better than Sikowitz. For one the man's not crazy and secondly he lets me drink coffee in his class every day. What else can be better than that.

Plus no one else in class gets to drink coffee and they definitely don't question why Jade West gets to. All these losers in the class are too scared to even ask why. I smugly smirk as I raise the hot coffee cup to my lips. My mouth touches the rim as I start to sip the bitter liquid when the door to the classroom opens and in walks a sandy blonde.

Shit Kate. Ouch! The black scalding coffee burns my tongue. Fuck what the hell is she doing in this class? She wasn't in here last week. She makes her way to Mr. Hawthorn's desk handing him a folded paper. He opens up the paper and hands it back to her with a smile. "You can take a seat next to Jade she's over there in the corner at the back," he points at me.

Kate nods her eyes making contact with mine from across the room. She begins to walk down the second to last aisle looking a bit nervous. I clasp both hands onto my burning coffee feeling the heat seep into my fingers and palms. She sits in the desk next to me and places her gray messenger bag on top.

Kate and I don't fully look at each other. Instead we are both observing the other through the corners of our eyes. Mr. Hawthorn begins to call roll as I focus my eyes on him. I can feel her intensive stare on me, my palms starting to sweat. I release my coffee cup and place my hands onto my lap.

"Kate Connors...here," Mr. Hawthorn mumbles to himself as he checks the attendance list. Mr. Hawthorn is a bit old school he doesn't like using the sign in sheet for some reason. He says he prefers the classic feel of calling the students' names in order to memorize them.

"And Jade. All here. Good," he says finishing to himself. "Alright now today we are going to learn a little bit more about the rule of thirds and how to work the camera so that way tomorrow we can finally use them," Hawthorn excitedly states. Some kids whoop and others simply don't respond still being half dead from the early morning.

Mr. Hawthorn turns off the lights and turns on the mounted projector with his controller. He rolls down the screen and goes to his computer to begin showing us the photo examples of today. On the screen appears a picture of a stack of stones piled on top of one another on the far left, the blue ocean and sky slightly out of focus.

I remain looking at the picture as Mr. Hawthorn begins to speak about it. My right hand wanders to my cup and raises it to my mouth for a drink. The pencil on my desk rolling off at that exact same moment to fall with a thud near Kate's black faded boots. I stop drinking and place down my coffee feeling the smoldering bitter liquid struggle down my throat as I see her bending down to pick up my pencil.

"Um...you dropped this," she softly speaks and holds out my pencil to me.

I turn my head to look at her fully now, my eyes instantly catching her electric crystal blue. How can someone have such blue eyes? Have I seen them before?

"Jade," Kate whispers.

I shake my head breaking my own thoughts. "Um. Yeah thanks," I mutter taking my pencil back. We hold our gazes on each other for a second longer until I break contact and look away. My eyes going back to the front of the class.

"Alright I'm going to quickly assign you all partners for tomorrow's activity. This will literally only take a second," Mr. Hawthorn declares. "The person sitting next to you will be your partner for these next two weeks." Students grumble with disapprovals while some smile. He grins playfully, "I'm not evil guys I just want you all to get to know each other better is that too much to ask."

I roll my eyes and snicker good humouredly, "No you were just too lazy to assign us partners by pulling names out of a hat."

Mr. Hawthorn chuckles, "Very true Jade, very true. Now let's talk about this next photo..."

Hawthorn's voice trails off in the distance as my mind becomes aware that for the next two weeks I'm going to be spending a lot of time with Kate Connors.

* * *

><p><strong>Jade's POV<strong>

**Lunch Time **

I stopped at my locker quickly to put up two of my textbooks and headed outside towards the Asphalt Cafe getting ready to go sit with Beck, Andre, Robbie, and Cat at our usual table. That is until my feet stopped on the concrete abruptly when I saw Vega walking away from the Grub Truck and making her way to the table where I used to sit. Great! Can't she make different friends! Seriously, for the past week, Vega's been sitting with the people_ I_ used to call friends.

But you know what, she can have them. _Obviously_ she isn't going to stop sitting with them and it's obvious they prefer her over me anyways. I don't even know why I bothered checking again. I huffed when Cat threw her arms around Tori and pulled her in for a death hug. Of course she got to Cat that girl can be enchanted by anything even a tree.

Their laughter reaches my ears as I catch them all laughing to something Tori said. I roll my eyes that's it, whatever I'm leaving. I don't need any of them anyway, not even Beck.

**Tori's POV**

**Lunch at the Asphalt Cafe**

I sit down by Cat feeling her arms crush me. "Cat. You're. Breaking. My. Bones," I choke out in shallow breaths. Everyone at the table begins to laugh.

"Sorry Tori," Cat exclaims cheerfully. "I'm just so happy to see you!"

I giggle, "I'm happy to see you too Cat, but we just had class together."

"I know," Cat smiles sheepishly. "But we never sit next to each other in that class cause Mr. Knight is a meanie."

I smile at Cat's cuteness. "It's okay Cat, Mr. Knight just thinks if we sit near each other we'll talk too much. You know how he gets all spazzy when there is a lot of noise. "

"Yeah," she agrees with a giggle.

"Robbie must be related then. He is a spaz," Rex says.

"Rex! I am not a spaz," Robbie defends himself from his own insult.

Andre rolls his eyes and shakes head while Cat just giggles. "Robbie is spazzy," the petite red head chirps.

Robbie looks over to the small red head next to me."Cat!"

"Whaty," she asks Robbie with big brown eyes.

"How could you say that," Robbie asks offended.

"Well its true Robbie you are spazzy," Cat says with an innocent face.

"Hehehe," Rex chuckles. "That's right, you see even Cat thinks you're a spaz and she's messed up."

Cat's brown doe eyes grow big, "What's that supposed to mean!"

"Guys calm down," Beck finally speaks up. He seems a bit stressed out. I mean he was quiet throughout most of today. "Look Robbie, you are not a nervous wreck and Cat you're not messed up. Okay."

"I beg to differ, but anyways speaking of messed up where is the wicked witch at," Rex asks Beck.

Everyone at the table goes quiet from Rex's/ Robbie's question. Beck sighs, "I don't know she hasn't given me the time of day for a whole week now."

"So you think it's over between you guys," Andre asks curiously.

Beck shrugs his eyes a bit sad, " I can't say...things with Jade are never exactly easy."

"She's used to getting her way," I say a loud without thinking.

Beck's brows crease and everyone at the table has their eyes trained on me now. "Yeah how'd you know that," Beck asks.

"Oh, um...well Jade just seems like the type of girl who is used to getting her way all the time," I quickly cover for myself. I haven't told anyone that I knew Jade before they all did. I think _that_ would freak them out a little too much.

Beck nods his head, "Yup, Jade's mad at me because I took your side."

"I'm sorry Beck I didn't mean to come in between you two," I sincerely apologize to him.

He barely smiles, "It's okay. It's not your fault. She just needs to cool off I know her."

My eyes draw away from his face a pang of guilt hitting my stomach. I shouldn't have kissed Beck...at that moment I did it to get back at Jade and I was wrong for that. The kiss really meant nothing to me.

Andre puts his hand on my shoulder, "Don't worry about it Tori. Beck's right he knows her best. All she needs is some space to chill down. Don't take it too hard, she did start the whole mess."

Everyone at the table nods all silently agreeing that Jade was the bad guy in all this. My heart sank from Andre's words. Beck knows her best? No...I used to know her better than anyone else.

**Jade's POV**

**After Leaving the Asphalt Cafe**

I ended up making my way to the football field planning to sit on the bleachers to wait till lunch was over. But when I arrived at the field, I saw someone lying down on the grass. I could barely make out who it was since I was still a good distance away. My feet carried me over to the figure on the freshly cut grass.

Soon I could make out her faded black boots, her black faded jeans, her maroon red v-neck shirt, and her black faded jean vest from the short distance I had left to walk. My eyes landed on her boots first and traveled all the way up to her face. Kate had her eyes closed and if I didn't know any better appeared to be sleeping. "What the hell are you doing laying on the football field?"

Kate's eyes shoot open, electric blue colliding with bewitching green. She raises her hand to shield the sun away from her view. "Jade West. Huh...I never expected to see you here."

I smirk down at her, "Kate Connors I never expected you to be my personal stalker."

She grins back up at me and finally throws herself into a cross legged sitting position. "I think you have that backwards. You found me so that makes you the stalker."

I snort while looking around the empty field, "Then how do you explain Hawthorn's class?"

"Schedule change," she says coolly.

I move my eyes to her again and nod my head. "_Indeed_ I bet to match mine and stalk me."

She chuckles, "Well what can I say you are very intriguing Jade."

I plop down in front of her and cross my legs Indian style to come level to level with her eyes. For a brief second I don't say anything and she doesn't either. We just lock onto each other taking in one another's features. I clear my throat, "So do you always sit alone on football fields?"

Kate's lips tilt upwards, "I'm not alone...I'm with you." My breath hitches as I feel my cheeks begin to rose. "It's actually nice to have company for a change," Kate softly mutters her eyes cast downwards, her slender fingers tearing at the green grass.

I begin to play with the laces of my charcoal black combat boots as I remain looking at her. "Why don't you sit at the Asphalt Cafe?"

Kate looks up at me her fingers still ripping at the grass. "Cause I'm new to this school...and every time I walk around people stare at me like I'm some kind of freak."

"Well you're not. And let people think what they want...don't give a shit about them. They're not worth it...especially all the assholes in this school," I remark with a biting tone.

She laughs amused, "Sounds like you got it all figured out."

I smirk my eyes engraving the contours of her face; the shape of her nose, to the lines of her jaw, and the curves of her medium light pink lips. "No I just get even with anyone who wants to say shit about me."

Kate nods in understanding and chuckles lowly, "Maybe you should learn to play nice."

I flash her my famous mischievous smirk that makes every person start to squirm. "Where's the fun in that?" I expect her to fidget around but instead Kate stays calm and smiles modestly.

"You know what I think," she pauses.

"What," I ask curiously.

"I've noticed you like to put on a show especially the whole act about you being a badass...but I think there is more to you than you let others see."

I lean my body closer into her personal space catching the light sweet scent of her perfume. "Act?" I confidently lick my lips and murmur, "Hmm...I don't think you know who you're talking to." Her eyes roam down to my lips. I take in my lower lip biting down on it then release it, "Ask anyone here at Hollywood Arts and they'll tell you the same thing."

She licks her lips, "Which is?"

My body unconsciously moves an inch closer until we are literally almost nose to nose. "It's no act. I'm the real deal Blondie." Her electric orbs keep traveling to my mouth and back up to my eyes. "I'm Jade West this school's very own _dark_ queen." I abruptly pull away from Kate catching myself before I could completely close the distance. What the hell was that West? I say inside my inner thoughts.

Kate blinks rapidly seeming confused by my sudden change. My voice comes out cold and detached, "I don't care about people's feelings...I aim to hurt."

"Then what happens when someone hurts you," she asks with a concern in her husky voice.

I turn my head away from her and look off to the distance on my right. "No one can hurt me," I breathe out without any waver in my voice.

"What about Tori Vega?"

I stay still looking at nothing but the empty green grass and blue sky with its white drifting clouds. My voice becoming stuck in my throat at the mention of Vega's name. I grind my teeth together and feel my jaw tighten, hot anger rising inside me like the burning rays of the sun that are beating down on my back.

Kate seems to notice that the subject of Vega doesn't please me. "Jade I'm-."

I cut her off and face her again, my voice filled with cold hard steel. "Vega can't touch me."

A long pause comes between us until I raise myself up on my feet to stand. Kate looks up at me with worry. I look down at her with disengaged eyes. "I have to go." I turn away from the androgynous teen and hastily start walking off the football field leaving her sitting alone.

But before I am fully off the field I feel a strong thin hand pull my arm to stop me. "Jade wait. I'm sorry- I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. I just-." I suddenly shut her up when I turn around and throw myself at her. My arms encircling around her neck as I bury my face into her chest.

"Doesn't anyone care about me," I utter disconnected. I feel Kate's arms begin to wrap around me, her hands soothing circles on my back.

"What do you mean Jade," she asks caringly.

I step out of her arms without warning and run off the football field leaving her muddled with questions I can't answer. Not even to myself.

* * *

><p><strong>Jade's POV<strong>

**The Next Day at Hollywood Arts**

**Lunch Time**

I didn't bother going to lunch today knowing Vega would be sitting with my group of friends. Hell they aren't even my friends anyway. They all prefer perfect little Tori Vega over shattered Jade West. Even my own boyfriend likes her better than me. Why else would he side with her?

It sucks really...I always thought Beck would be the one not to give up on me, but he has. Yesterday and for the past week he had tried to talk to me. Of course I put up my walls and forced him out. The only thing is...I thought he would have tried harder to fight me and bring down those walls. All he's done is left me alone. This morning when I arrived at school and went to my locker he didn't even approach me. Instead he looked at me once and walked off.

No one cares whether something is really wrong with me or not. All Beck, Robbie, Andre, and Cat think is that I'm angry. Part of me is I admit...but the rest of me is trapped in a cycle of running away. My breath falters in my chest as I feel the urge to leave this school and never come back.

I shut my jet black scissor locker hard, the bang echoing off the empty halls. My mind pictures a pair of electric crystal blue eyes and I wonder if she's at the football field again. In Hawthorn's class today, Kate kept looking at me with concern etched over her alluring features. I just brushed off her many worried looks and talked about the assignment we were working on. She didn't protest by asking me anything she just went along with my actions.

I finally move from my rooted spot in the hall and make my way to the place I know I need to go. My crimson boot clad feet take me down several hallways and up a long flight of metal stairs. I stop at the top of the stairs and open the door that leads me out onto the roof of Hollywood Arts.

No one comes up on this side of the school since its older. Plus, the Asphalt Cafe has a high ground bridge where people can perform or just go up to sit and chill. So I mostly come up here when the janitor's closet feels a bit too stuffy for me. I walk further out onto the roof and let the door shut behind me. The wind picks up as I slowly drag myself near the edge of the building. I look out over the horizon and see the sun is high in the sky, but the muggy gray clouds are covering it.

I can see a lot from up here. The sky, the buildings of L.A., the school parking lot, the Asphalt Cafe, and in front of me I can see the green cut football field with its aligned silver bleachers. My eyes roam over the field trying to catch a glimpse of the sandy blonde teen. I can't believe I'm even trying to look for her from up here, it's impossible to see people from this distance.

Why is that I am looking for Kate? I mean is it because she truly looked at me with concern in her eyes? It doesn't mean the girl cares about me it could just mean she feels sorry for me. And I don't want people feeling sorry for me. I'm not some lost puppy...am I?

Am I lost? My head pounds like a hammer beating down on a nail. I don't understand why everything feels so...so _wrong_. I clutch my temples with the tips of my fingers and begin to rub while squeezing my eyes shut. Would anyone ever look for me? Would anyone ever break me down to the point where there was no walls, but only the nerves of my body?

"Jade?" The voice behind me forces my eyes to open with alarm. How did she find me?

**Tori's POV**

**On the Roof-Top with Jade**

"Jade?" I stare at the back of her autumn brown hair my eyes trailing down her slender form. "Are you okay," I ask gingerly.

She spins on the heel of her foot and faces me her emerald green eyes unreadable. I don't know whether to speak or not feeling too scared to say anything at the moment. I bite my lip about to say something until Jade does.

"What are you doing up here Vega?"

Her voice is solid and frozen like a pond in winter. "I saw you in the hall and followed you up here."

"Why?"

I take a step closer to her a good distance still between us. "You seemed troubled," I say honestly.

Jade crosses her bare arms into herself protectively. "I'm not troubled Vega," she scowls back.

My eyes downcast with hurt knowing that she's lying to me. I close the remaining distance that was left between us and grab her arms unfolding them from her chest.

Jade's breath quickens, "What are you do-." I silence her with a shush of my lips and grab her hands. I lace my tan fingers around her pale digits, the coolness of her hands seeping into my skin. She gasps softly her emerald jewels looking from my face briefly down to our hands.

I just had to touch her...it was killing me not to. I needed some sort of contact even if it was small. "You're fingers are cold," I mumble. Jade's eyes follow up to mine, coffee brown back with emerald green. "You are troubled Jade...and I want to help you."

She clenches her jaw, "Don't even try Vega. You have _no_ right to come back into my life and say that you want to help me."

"Jade...I know you're scared of me, but I'm not-."

"_Scared_ of you? I'm not scared of you," she seethes out through clenched teeth.

"Then why do you keep avoiding me? Why do you keep on staying away from your friends whenever I'm around," my voice comes out rushed with want. I need to know why.

She tries to pull away from me, but I grip her hands harder making her fumble even closer to me. "_They_ are not my friends anymore. _You _made sure of that when you stole them away from me," Jade responds angrily. She huffs frustrated. "Let go of me!"

I let go of her hands but quickly switch my grip onto her wrists making sure I have a stronger hold on her than before. "No," I speak calmly trying my best not to cower away. "I- I know that you're angry with me because of what I did...and I'm sorry."

She struggles to pull away again and I pull her against me forcefully not meaning to land us in the predicament we're in. Our bodies clash together; chest to chest. I take in a sharp breath while Jade's warm breath hits my lips. We've never been this close before. If I had pulled harder I think her lips would have collided with mine. My senses start to become overwhelmed from every intoxicating breath that brushes my lips when Jade starts to speak. "I can't forget what you did Vega," she says calmer now.

Our bodies heave against each other. "I know...I shouldn't have kissed Beck. I was just angry at you." Neither one of us pulls away from the other. Jade's eyes begin to scan my lips when I start again. "Jade can't we just...start over and be friends again," my voice comes out pleadingly.

Her emerald eyes soon shoot up at my words. Jade studies me her eyes searching for something within my own. "No," she says indifferent to my pleading tone. "We can never be friends again Tori...we aren't right for each other." She pauses and puts emphasis in her next words. "We never were."

My eyes water without me wanting them two as I try to hold back the tears that are threatening to seep out. "But I miss you," I choke out.

Jade's eyes remain fixed on me her appearance unshaken by my words. "Let go Vega," she commands me by looking to my hands wrapped around her wrists. I release her pale wrists and she walks away from me leaving me behind with only her cutting words. I guess her heart really is charcoal black.

* * *

><p><strong>So was all the wait worth it my fellow readers? Let me know! I love every-bodies reviews!<strong>

**P.S. - Unfortunately my first year of college started which means a lot of homework. No joke sometimes I don't sleep till 3 or 4 in the morning. So if I don't update soon enough please know it's not on purpose I just have to get through my classes. I'm sorry guys, but I promise I'll stay up extra hours when I can to continue writing! You all are worth it! **


	20. Secrets

**Another long arrival for an update I know. Sorry everyone but I'm hoping you guys haven't gone mad waiting for the new chapter. College is a pain and I can't wait for the first semester to be over with or at least for Thanksgiving break I need it. Anyways on to more pressing matters like stuff about chapter 19! So just to warn ya not any Jori in this chapter, but I'm planning to put some in the next chapter which I decided to split from this chapter since it would be like forty pages in total and that is just way way too much!**

**This chapter is all in Jade's POV and I think most people won't be to happy about this one. ****Oh yeah almost forgot to say if there are a lot of grammar errors I'm sorry about that my editor (cousin) doesn't have much time edit right now.**

**I don't own Victorious.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 19<strong>

**Jade's POV**

**6:00 a.m.**

I lean my back against the lockers close to mine my eyes observing the empty hall. It was way too early in the morning for anyone to be here even for me. School doesn't start till 8, but for the past couple days I've been showing up early waiting in the temporary quiet halls of Hollywood Arts until school starts. I close my eyes and tilt my head back; the back of my head gently making contact with the cold locker I'm leaning against. For a few minutes my mind is completely empty, not one single worry or thought is in my head. The only thing I'm listening to is the sound of the silence around me. The only thing I'm feeling is the rising and falling of my chest. My breathing is even and for those few moments I'm frozen like the stillness of early mornings.

"Coffee," an all too familiar voice makes me smile my eyes closed only for a second longer.

Soon I'm looking into electric blue and I'm swimming in those eyes of hers. She raises the Starbucks coffee slightly to my eye level and I smirk at her offering. I grab the coffee our hands coming into small contact. "It's about time you got here. I thought you weren't going to show," I utter almost seeming half bored.

Kate grins as I raise the hot coffee to my lips. "It's only been like ten minutes."

I bring down the coffee cup from my lips. "Ten minutes too long you know I don't like to be kept waiting."

She lightly chuckles, "I'm sorry your highness I didn't know I was on your schedule."

I narrow my eyes at the sandy blonde teen as she remains smiling at me. Only Kate can back talk to me like that and I'd be okay with it. After all we have been getting close enough to know when the other is joking. "Well when you're the one who wants to meet up this early in the morning you have to be," I mumble half awake.

I once again raise the Starbucks coffee to my lips feeling the everyday bitter liquid ease down my throat. Kate's smile turns into a guilty grin as she tries to compensate my grumpy mood."I did get you coffee...maybe that helps."

"I could have gotten coffee at school later," I state hastily.

Her eyebrows quirk, "A little harsh today aren't we."

"No I'm just cranky. Plus, I'm harsh most others days so you should be use to it by now."

Kate nods her head, "Oh I am..._but _I still think there is a bit of a sensitive soul beneath the tough exterior of Jade West."

"Call me a sensitive soul any other time and I'll punch you Kate," I threaten her with a serious glare.

She eyes me curiously with a playful smile on her face, "Would you really?"

"Don't even dare me," I respond matching her playful expression.

Kate slowly begins to speak putting emphasis on her words, "Sen-si-_tive_ sou-. Ow!"

I give her my famous mischievous smirk like I always do and find she still doesn't squirm like everyone else would. I wonder how she manages to stay so calm around me? Other people would be on pins and needles if they were in her position, but Kate seems to always be the opposite from that. She is never afraid to say what's on her mind even if it is about me...and come to think of it I really like that about her."Told you not to dare me."

She rubs at her upper exposed left arm, "_Yeah_ next time I'll remember that. Man that really hurt you pack a hell of a punch."

I roll my eyes and tease her."Calm down you big baby. I thought with toned arms like yours you wouldn't feel a thing."

"Just cause my arms look like a Greek God's doesn't mean I'm made of steel you know." Kate dramatically keeps rubbing at her arm to make me feel bad about inflicting pain on her.

I chuckle, "Shut up. You're so full of it."

She lowers her hand away from her arm and flexes her well toned muscles in that typical macho man routine most guys do. "Flaunt what you got baby, flaunt what you got."

As soon as she says that I can't stop myself from laughing. The image of Kate flexing like a guy is so ridiculous yet adorable at the same time. She is definitely _not_ that built and this coming from her part makes me laugh even more because she closely resembles a boy, a very pretty boy. I'm barely holding onto my coffee almost forgetting that it's even there as I let myself slide down the lockers to the ground feeling my stomach ache from the pain and my eyes water. "You did not just say that. You're such a dork," I let out between deprived breathes.

She grins down at me flirtatiously. "A hot dork right?"

I settle down from the attack of laughter and bring my knees closer to my chest resting my hot coffee cup onto the floor. I place my arms on top of my knees and let my eyes overlook Kate quickly. I start from taking in her usual worn black faded boots, to her skin tight black jeans with ripped patches here and there, up to her black v-neck tee that is being covered by her maroon jean vest. Most of the time Kate wears different colored jean vests; I wonder how many she has? Maybe she even has a whole closest full of them? Finally my eyes roam up back to her pretty face and I feel my cheeks warm. Oh gosh I hope I'm not turning pink. I hate pink and I shouldn't be checking her out all! I play off my nerves acting aloof to her question by answering her with a small flirtatious grin of my own. "I'm not answering that."

She pouts, "Aw. Why not?"

I stick my tongue out at her."Because I don't feel like it."

Kate laughs as she plops down beside me our arms now touching. "Alright whatever I know I'm hot."

I turn my head to face her and chuckle."Full of it."

She reaches for my coffee that is near the front of my charcoal black boot."Got to be proud right?" Her thin hand wraps around the Starbucks cup as she brings it towards her.

"Ah ha keep telling yourself that conceited," I joke with her. "And that's my coffee." I swat at her hand as the lid almost comes into contact with her lips.

"Ah come on Jade let me have some," she whines bringing back the burning Grande drink from her mouth before it scalds her.

I chuckle, "No. Get your own."

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><p><strong>Late at Night<strong>

**West Residence**

I'm sitting at the window seat of my room looking around the place that finally has become mine. Everything is more in sync this time. This room isn't decorated in pink like my old one; instead the room is dark to match my persona. The walls are decorated with vintage wallpaper, the trimming around the edges of the walls white, the floorboards a mixture of black, dark gray, and dusty gray wood. My walls are lined with a couple of shelves with weird items I've collected over the years, some white candles on side tables here and there making the room smell of warm vanilla, the white blue Christmas lights hanging around the ceiling of my spacious room illuminating a soft calm glow.

My stare lingers on the luminous blue lights the hue reminding me of Kate's electric eyes. My mind drifts to that dangerous place. I look away from the soft blue glow hurriedly trying to erase my thoughts of her, and direct my attention to the rectangular little box surrounding me of many books on two cases across each other. This is my favorite part of my room my window seat, it encases me into a small box with a big clear glass window allowing me to look out into the night sky to catch some of the radiant stars. This room represents me and the changes that I've gone through.

After my parents divorced I moved in with mom feeling like she might be the one who needed me the most. Though sometimes I wonder if that was the actual reason at all? Did I move with her out of pity because of what my dad use to do to her back then, or was simply because she had finally started to show some concern about what happened to me unlike my father?

Either way I chose my mother over him. I couldn't handle those nights he would come home drunk and...try to beat-. He beat her...only her, but I can't say he never tried to hit me. That time I ran away from home to Beck's house wasn't just because I saw my dad hit my mom. No he didn't try to hit her at all. I should have been the one with bruises on my face that night and markings on my arm. He came home that night later than usual and I went down stairs to see him.

When I got downstairs I didn't see the professional business man that he usually was around me, or the man who hesitated to act like a father. The only thing I saw was a drunk who was still drinking away shots of tequila at three in the morning. I don't know why I even bothered to say anything to him...I just did. Opening my big mouth was a mistake. I threatened to rat him out to my mother that I knew he wasn't going to any late night meetings. Over time I had suspected he was cheating and I was right. I just never said anything to my mother about it because how could I? I was young, naive and too angry at both of them all the time.

So I stayed quiet for awhile until that night. I couldn't stand seeing him like that, I couldn't stand keeping my mouth shut anymore about his dirty little secret. It literally happened so fast after that. He picked up the bottle of tequila from the kitchen counter and took a swig finishing it all off. He then let it drop to the ground with a loud clash ringing out throughout the house. The moment he started to make his way to me I found myself frozen in my place unable to think clearly.

Right before he was about to strike me my mother out of nowhere pushed me out the way and...his hand landed on her face. I was on the ground watching with scared eyes at everything slowly yet quickly unfolding right in front of me. My father got even angrier after that and tried to throw himself at me, but my mother grabbed the lamp closest to her and hit him with it. It distracted him enough to make him turn back to face her and throw a punch to her face. By that time he was gone and continued to beat my mother blow after blow with his fists.

My eyes were glued to the horrid scene, my body unwilling to move until my mom shouted at me to run. Soon I was out the door running away to the only place I knew where to go. I went to Beck's. From there a lot of things changed. Life became unbearable at home and the only person I had to turn to was Beck.

I didn't want to let him in though...knowing how easy it is to get attached to someone and then have them break you. So I agreed with myself to only let him in to a certain extent. I lied to him about the full story of my parents problems, not letting him know that it was me my father would mostly try to come after. I made him believe that my dad only went after my mom and that I was safe. Ever since that lie I've kept up with one lie after another keeping him at arm's length for years. I don't understand exactly why after all this time I've never let him in completely? I guess...I don't trust him enough.

Which sounds stupid really because Beck's tried to show me he cares. Trust me that doesn't go unnoticed, the boy has put up with me for years! He's put up with everything I've dished out at him...the tough as nails attitude, the angry yelling, my not so touchy feely personality, the way I constantly fight with him, and my insane jealously issues. Beck's been this sweet nice guy to me since the day we met, and all I've been to him is an asshole.

I've basically strayed him along for my own selfish reasons. The thing is now I realize that. I get it because I've found someone who won't judge me. Kate doesn't look at me and only sees my mistakes. I know Beck cares about me, but he judges me. He looks to me and tries to fix things when things go wrong, but Beck mostly sees my mistakes. And I don't blame him the faults I've made are always too big to handle. Plus, I know he notices we haven't been the same since we started dating.

We were great friends, best friends even but all that changed when we officially decided to be more than just friends. It was like our whole dynamic changed over time...ironically now I have that same dynamic with someone else. It's the same dynamic Beck and I started with the playful teasing, the flirty comments, and the caring glances. Kate has been growing closer to me as a friend, but the difference is...that I've liked her since the day I met her. When I met Beck it wasn't like that at all...I liked him but just as a friend. The problem always was that he was the one who liked me more.

Actually I remember he annoyed me at first, but he grew on me...that's what sucks the attachments. Even though I tried not to get so attached to Beck at some point back then I couldn't picture my life without him in it. I had already gone through the experience once with Vega...and I couldn't stand going through it with him again. So I gave in, I gave into what Beck had always wanted...a real relationship. I gave up our friendship for this relationship thinking that somehow that would keep Beck from leaving me. I didn't want to lose the only friend I really had back then. I was selfish, still am. I can't let him go yet. Beck's been a part of my life for so long now, how can I just let him go? The answer is I can't...but I also can't stop what I'm feeling for someone else.

* * *

><p><strong>The Next Day at Hollywood Arts<strong>

**(Lunch at the Asphalt Cafe)**

How did I get myself into this...into this awkward situation? Here I am sitting with Robbie, Cat, Andre, Beck, Vega...and Kate. Everyone at the table is just staring at one another with clouded eyes. Robbie and his stupid puppet are glancing at me then to Vega and then double taking a look back to each other. Cat has a clueless grin on her face as she looks to me with her big doe brown eyes. Andre wrinkles his forehead as he lifts one brow watching Tori and Beck. Beck is staring at Kate and I. Vega is doing the same as Beck, and I'm looking at everyone with cold distant eyes.

What was I thinking? I turn my head to my right catching Kate's electric blue eyes. She is giving me a look saying well talk to them. As if, please if she thinks I'm going to start any sort of conversation with these losers she is sadly mistaken. I mean sure I agreed to sit here, but only because I got her roped into coming with me. One thing is for sure though she might have gotten me to sit with these traitors, but I am _not_ talking to them.

I notice everyone fidgeting with something whether it's their food on the table or their phones, hair, forks, and spoons._ Everyone_ is tense with silence. I look back to Kate and roll my eyes as she keeps giving me _that_ look. Only she can give me that pressing look and I have to comply.

It's strange really...I never thought that I'd be so distant from all of my old friends and end up spending most of my time now with Kate. I clear my throat really not wanting to say a word. "Yeah I'm not sitting here anymore," I declare about to stand up until Kate tugs on my arm to stop me from leaving."

She shoots me a look of skepticism as I glare back at her. I can tell she is trying to tell me, "What are you doing Jade?" I swear we've been hanging out way too much. It's like these days we can read each other's thoughts. And she knows the glare I just gave her is me saying, "Duh leaving. What else does it look like?"

She finally let's go of my arm when I mutter under my breath, "Fine."

I stay in my seat and tear my eyes away from Kate to look at everyone else again. This time my eyes catch onto Beck's who is sitting across from me at the table. His chocolate brown eyes glued to mine. If I didn't know any better I'd say he seems a bit surprised...maybe since it's been two weeks that I haven't spoken to him or anyone else from the group.

"So who's the...the chick? You are a chick right?" My eyes move away from Beck's to glare over at Robbie's stupid puppet that seems to be staring at Kate as if it were really alive. Did he seriously just say that? Shapiro should shut up if he knows what's good for that stupid little dummy of his. "Rex shut up," Robbie scolds him.

"Whatevea Rob. So as I was saying you are a chick right? Cause-." I snatch Rex out of Robbie's hands and throw him as hard as I can across the Asphalt Cafe. The puppet makes a loud thud coming into contact with someone's back of the head. "Owwww!" I hear a familiar irritating voice ring out in pain. Suddenly Trina comes rushing over to our table holding Rex by a dangling arm. She stands besides Robbie who is on my left sitting next to Andre."Who threw _this_?!" Trina asks angrily while raising Rex up and shaking him for emphasis.

"Well it's Robbie's doll," I remark with a shrug of my shoulders as I pick up a fry from his tray and pop it into my mouth.

Robbie glances over to me scared and a small evil smile begins to spread across my face. He stutters beginning to panic when he looks over to Trina her eyes dead set on him. "What! No! That was all-."

The older Vega sister cuts him off and glowers at him, "Look puppet boy if you throw your doll at me any other time I swear I will run over him with my car!"

Robbie begins to get flustered and argues back trying to defend himself. "He doesn't like to be called a doll or a puppet!"

Trina cocks a brow appearing confused from Robbie's strange statement. "_Yeah_...whatever I don't care what _it_ likes to be called," she shakes Rex once more. "Just don't throw it at me again! Got it?"

"I didn't throw Rex at you! Jade's the one who threw him!" He points to me accusingly still trying to wiggle his way out of trouble.

I very calmly look at him my face unfazed as I answer innocently, "Why would I throw your doll Robbie?"

He twitches and grabs a chunk full of his hair faking a small laugh. "Haha because you're crazy," Robbie shouts releasing his hair to gesture to me with his hands.

I speak in the same calm manner and scoff, "Really Robbie...am I? Because I'm not the one walking around with a puppet."

He whines, "That's not fair! You know that doesn't count!"

Trina rolls her eyes evidently annoyed by our ongoing debate, "Look if someone doesn't take _this thing_ I'm going to toss it in the trash."

"No don't!" Robbie reaches over for Rex in Trina's hands, but before his grasp lands on the puppet the older Vega throws Rex across the cafe. This time it hits Sinjin square in the face knocking him out of his seat; his girly screech making everyone grimace. I raise my brows impressed by Trina's arm. Who knew she could throw, it's probably the only thing she's good at.

Robbie hollers out, "Rex!" He looks over to the direction where Trina threw him and turns back to face her quickly. "Why did you do that?!"

Trina responds bitterly, "Because you hit me with your stupid puppet!" She storms off fuming obviously not buying the fact that I was the one who really hit her with the dummy. Robbie stands from the table and follows her arguing back for the umpteenth time that he didn't throw Rex. I smile satisfied with my doing and turn my attention back to the others.

Andre always so good natured smiles awkwardly and tries to break the ice. "Then there was six huh," he chuckles lightly while everyone stares at him quiet. "No. Okay," he nods and looks down at his sandwich seeming slightly embarrassed from his failed attempt.

"You're Kate right...from Sikowitz class," Cat chirps up with a big smile on her face.

Kate smiles back at her, "Yeah I am and you're Cat Valentine the petite red head with a big voice."

"Yeaaaah," Cat exclaims happily. "How did you know that? You must be psychic?"

I grin at her, "Cat sweetie she isn't-."

Cat excitedly cuts off my words not taking anything in that I was about to say. "Ooh! Do everyone else at the table!"

Kate's eyes grow big as she looks to me and then at the others. Her gaze lands on Andre first, "Okay...well you're Andre Harris the genius self writing musician." Kate's eyes move to where Tori and Beck are sitting right next to each other. "And you're Beck Oliver brilliant actor and this school's heartthrob." Her eyes cautiously scan Tori, "Which leaves Tori Vega the talented new girl."

I snort, "I'd hardly call her talented."

Beck finally speaks but only to disapprove with me. "Jade why are you-."

Tori holds him off from saying anymore, "Beck its okay."

"What," he questions her. "Really?"

Everyone questioningly stares at Vega as I do the same. Her eyes land on my own, "Yeah...Jade's just being Jade that's all. She doesn't mean anything by it." What is she up to?

I stare at her deciding to bite my tongue from saying anything else hurtful. "If you say so Vega." She fakes a smile, "See nothing to get worked up about."

I'm not sure if they're buying into this whole act, but our focus soon changes onto Cat when she squeals with delight. "Yay! Kate really is psychic! That's so cool," she bounces in her seat happily. "Can you tell me why my brother keeps jars of tuna fish in his room?"

Everyone makes a face of disgust as I turn to Kate and lean in to whisper in her ear. "Don't answer that."

Her brows rise up in puzzlement as she whispers back, "I wouldn't even know how to if I tried."

I smirk at her and pull back to catch both Vega and Beck staring. What the hell are they staring at me for anyway? Whatever I better set things straight with Cat before she starts asking Kate more absurd questions about her brother. "_Cat_...Kate isn't really psychic she's just heard of you and everyone else because this is Hollywood Arts remember?"

She giggles, "Oh yeah everyone knows everybody's business here. Word gets around."

"That's right Cat," I nod.

Robbie unexpectedly returns to the table out of breath with Rex in his hands.

"So I see you're back Shapiro," I say with my evil smirk back in place as he takes a seat next to Cat this time rather than next to Andre because of me. "Aw. You're hurting my feelings Robbie why did you move," I tease him.

"Oh you know why! If it wasn't for you I wouldn't have had to fight with Trina, and then have to chase down some senior who was playing catch with his buddies to give me Rex back before he drew a mustache on him!"

I laugh, "How did you convince the seniors to give him back to you?"

He sighs defeated, "I had to pay the three of them forty dollars each."

I laugh harder, "So you mean to tell me you paid 120 bucks to get your doll back from a couple of seniors."

"They were really big seniors! All buff and stuff," he replies exasperated. "Man I hate seniors they just think they can boss everyone else around cause their older."

I smirk wide at him, "You hate seniors huh Robbie." I glance over to Kate and then back to him his eyes following mine. "Kate's a senior." I literally have to bite the inside of my cheek to hold back my laughter from the look that gracious poor Robbie's face. He might as well have wet his pants.

Kate looks at him dead serious and aims a playfully punch at his arm. Robbie flinches away with a small squeal and Kate smiles at me trying to resist her own laughter. She turns back to him, "Sorry if I scared you dude, but Jade's just joshing ya."

Robbie nervously laughs, "Hahaha...so you're not a senior?"

"No I am but definitely not one of those douche bags who think they can get their way because of it."

"Oh. Well then that's relief. So you're going to be hanging with us sophomores," Robbie asks with a small hopeful smile. I know what he is thinking that if he hangs out with a senior like Kate maybe he will become popular, but really Kate's not that type of senior either.

Kate turns to look at me our eyes hanging onto each other for a few seconds until I change my focus onto Robbie and answer him. "I prefer not to share. Get your own senior Shapiro."

**(School ending that same day)**

The final bell rings to dismiss the last period of the day as everyone shuffles out into the halls. I'm making my way to my locker in the main hall of Hollywood Arts when I spot Cat coming down the stairs. The little red head stops in her tracks as our eyes catch onto one another. My feet unconsciously stop too as I see her surprised small smile.

I try to smile back, but barely feel the curves of my lips turn upwards when Cat's expression changes into a tiny frown. My smile disappears at the unusual looking Cat whose bubbly personality has just been diminished. She starts to walk again coming down the stairs fully and heading off towards the exit.

I rush over to her confused by her sudden cold shoulder. "Cat hold up."

She keeps walking away and picks up her pace until I take a couple more strides and cut in front of her. Cat stops abruptly before she collides into me. Her face lowers as she observes her light pink shoes with the glittery red laces. "What do you want Jade," she asks softly.

Why is she acting like this? So out of character? "What do you mean what do I want?"

She stays quiet and remains looking at her shoes. I hear her mumble her words barely audible in the loud hall. "Well you've been ignoring me."

I sigh knowing I messed up. "Cat look at me," I gently tilt her chin up with my fingers. Her big doe brown eyes looking into mine with hurt. I've never seen Cat this sad before I guess maybe I really screwed up by staying away from everyone this time."I haven't been ignoring you Cat...I mean well at least not intentionally." I pause to take in her still pained expression. "Look I've been trying to avoid running into Beck and Vega okay."

Her eyebrows draw downward, "But why Jade? Beck really misses you along with Robbie and Andre...and Tori feels bad about what she did...honest."

I pinch the bridge of my nose and shake my head a little. "I believe you Cat. It's just that I'm not ready to just let bygones be bygones. I don't like Vega, and Beck is just stupid for kissing her back."

"So you're still angry?"

"No Cat it's not that. I'm just...going through something and its bit hard to explain."

"You can talk to me about it," she suggests with a small smile.

I lightly smile back, "Maybe one day Cat right now I need to keep this to myself you understand?"

The petite red head nods and seriously asks me a question. "Jade can you at least sit with us again...like today?"

I quirk my pierced brow, "What do you mean like for tomorrow or every day?"

"Every day."

I shrug my shoulders, "I don't know Cat every day seems like too much how about...like three days out of the month."

She pouts at me and gives me her puppy dog eyes that I cannot say no to. "Please Jadey?"

I groan, "Fine I'll sit with you guys again."

She smiles broadly and begins to jump up and down. "Yay! Yay! Yay!"

I roll my eyes making her think I'm annoyed when really I'm just glad she's smiling again. She keeps bouncing and then wraps her arms around me. Crap here comes the bone crushing squeeze.

After about a few seconds I can't take it anymore. "Cat release," I choke out.

She giggles at my obvious lack of air. "Sorry Jadey."

I narrow my eyes, "Stop calling me that or I won't sit at the table with you."

She pouts, "Okay."

"By the way Cat there is one condition you have to follow if you want me to have lunch with you again."

"What is it?" Her big brown deer eyes blink innocently awaiting for my answer.

"You have to keep Vega as far away from me as possible. Got it?"

She nods her brown eyes now filled with worry. "Got it."

* * *

><p><strong>The Next Day at Hollywood Arts<strong>

**After Hawthorn's Class**

Towards the end of class Mr. Hawthorn gives us fifteen minutes to freely ramble away loudly like the gossiping teenagers we are. He sits at his desk like always at this time drinking his mug of coffee flipping through the pages of the newspaper seeming content. Some students talk to one another while others sit quiet and still plugged into their teen angst music that blares on full blast.

I'm smiling and laughing during those last fifteen minutes something that most people find odd to see coming from me expect for the people who really know me which is not a lot. She smiles as I grin like an idiot while looking into her electric blue eyes wondering how someone can make me feel this light. Soon the bell rings and the students rise to make their way out the class. Kate and I pass by Hawthorn's desk saying goodbye to him as he returns the gesture.

We walk out into the busy halls heading to our lockers. I throw my head back exposing my pale neck to her as we get closer to the destination I'm dreading. "Ugggh!" I haven't told Kate yet, but I guess now is a good of a time as any.

I can feel her stare as she mimics me, "Ugggh! What? Why are you groaning?"

I turn my head to face a smiling Kate and I shove her arm lightly. "Cat wants me to sit with her...and everyone else again," I answer back.

Her smile settles into a contemplative line."That's good right? I mean now you can hang out with your friends."

I shrug my shoulders, "Honestly I don't think I really want to anymore."

She watches me carefully picking up on my silent insecurity, "Is is because of...Tori?"

"A little bit...but I don't know I have you now and well you get me better than they do."

The curves of her medium light pink lips go up into a crooked smile. "I'm glad you feel that way, but maybe you just need to reconnect with your friends that's all."

I humorlessly laugh, "I'm not big on reconnecting let alone getting close with people."

Her eyes stare into mine worried. "Yeah, but they were your friends before they knew Tori. I'm sure they miss you too Jade. You think they don't miss you don't you?"

We stop walking once we reach the double doors that lead out to the Asphalt Cafe, people passing around us to get through until Kate and I are the only ones left in the hallway. I hadn't even noticed we passed the lockers and I still had my books with me. I look her over feeling something warm inside my chest. I lightly grin, "You sound like Cat. But yeah...I am a bit worried that they prefer Vega over me now."

Kate rubs the upper part of my arm for comfort. "Don't think that way Jade. You and Tori are both different and that's okay...they like you and they like her. You just have to find some new common ground with everyone."

"How do you know they like me?"

She looks at me serious for a second her expression full of care. "What's not to like you're snarky, a little bossy, and a complete ray of positive sunshine," she jokes with a small smirk.

I shove her chest roughly and smile widely. "You suck Kate."

She rubs the spot where I shoved her and laughs, "Sorry."

I roll my eyes, "Yeah whatever you gonna come with this time or what?"

She stays quiet and looks to the double doors. Her eyes shift back to me, "Not this time. I just want you to try and get use to things again like old times...me being there is a big distraction."

I nod my head in understanding, "Where you gonna go then?"

"Ah...probably over to my brother's job he needs some more helping hands around there so I'm going to go help him out."

"Oh okay. Wish me luck."

"You don't need it. You got it."

I smile fondly at her as she does the same and we both go our separate ways.

**(Outside at the Asphalt Cafe)**

I'm standing outside now feeling the slight breeze of the warm air hit my face. Should I go through with this? I could always just ditch...but then Cat would be devastated and I'd be forced to look at those sad brown eyes of hers for weeks.

Suck it up West it's just lunch with the old gang...and Vega. If anything you're the one who always has had the control before so now shouldn't be any different. I start to move making my way to the old table. I spot Andre and Robbie already seated across from each other in conversation. They are so engrossed talking that they don't realize I'm now standing near one of the sides of the table. I slam my books down making them jump from the loud noise and look over to me finally noticing my presence. I smirk mischievously at their startled expressions.

"Jade? Ah...hey what's up," Andre recovers.

"Hmm, right now Robbie's face."

"Hey," Robbie whines. "What's that suppose to mean?"

The boy sounds just like Cat I swear those two are just meant for each other. I take a set on one of the empty sides and smirk at him, "I don't know but it hurt your feelings didn't it."

Robbie sighs defeated, "Yeah."

Andre grins a little, "You just get kicks out of causing him pain don't ya."

I tilt my head to the side. "Not really. I get my kicks from torturing others. Shapiro here isn't much of a challenge."

Robbie frowns at my comment.

"Ah come on Rob cheer up. At least you're not Jade's permanent punching bag," Andre consoles.

Rex snorts, "Robbie wishes he was at least then he'd have some attention from a hot girl."

Andre shakes head from side to side. "That's just sad Rob even for you."

Robbie pouts and looks down at his tray. He quietly utters, "I know."

I glance around the table noticing nobody else has showed up yet. "Hey Andre where's Cat?"

"Oh Cat should be here soon," he replies taking a drink of his soda. "She probably got held up in class or something.

"Yeah Tori too," Robbie pitches in."

I glare at the curly haired nerd. "Did I ask about Vega Robbie," I growl at him.

"No but I- I was just going to say that they have class together."

"Whatever."

"Look here they come," Andre points out.

I stop glaring at Robbie and look ahead to see Cat, Beck, and Vega coming over to the table. Cat is happily smiling at me from seeing I followed through with my promise while Beck and Vega are lagging behind her talking to each other not aware that I'm sitting at the table.

Cat squeals placing her food down on the table and wraps her arms around my neck from behind. "Yay Jadey you're here!"

I see Tori turn away from Beck to look over at us. Cat's squeal sure can draw attention. She stops walking and her eyes catch onto mine. Beck takes notice and glances over looking at me too with just as much surprise as Vega. I guess they didn't expect me to be back.

I grab Cat's arm trying to pull her arms off me. Damn how is she so little and yet happens to have a death grip? "Well I said I would be didn't I."

Beck stays frozen only for a second longer and then proceeds to make it over to the table. He sits down across from me setting his soda and plate of pizza down on the table. He grabs the strap of his slung over the shoulder backpack tightening his grip on it a nervous gesture on his part that I've picked up on. I feel a bit light head why? Oh shit Cat.

"Cat let go now," I demand.

She giggles and does so looking over to Tori confused. "Tori aren't you going to come sit?"

Tori shakes herself out of her stupor and smiles that reserved smile she tends to use when she feels uncomfortable. She walks over and closes the remaining distance left hesitant of choosing where to sit. She looks over to where Andre is sitting and takes in the available seat knowing that would be her safest option, but instead of deciding to sit next to Andre or even Shapiro for that matter she makes her way over to my empty side.

What she's not serious is she? I look up at the still standing Cat and give her a look saying do something before I do. Tori is about to sit down next to me when Cat panics and quickly sits next to me bumping Vega off in the process.

She falls to the ground on her bum hard her water bottle rolling away from her and her clear container of salad dropping out of her hands all over the concrete floor."Ow! Cat! Why did you do that?" Tori looks up at Cat from the floor waiting for an answer.

The little red head squirms, "Umm I-you...uh can't sit next to Jade."

"Why not," Vega responds waiting for an answer from the pressured petite red head.

She turns her head to swiftly look at me; my eyes going big as I give her another look telling her to lie better. Everyone at the table is now looking over to Cat thrown off by her odd behavior. Cat's eyes flood with panic and guilt as she catches everyone staring her down. She shifts her sight back onto Tori and breathes out heavily. "Cause I- I want to sit next to her."

I mentally slap myself on the forehead what was I thinking Cat can't come up with a good lie to save her life.

"Oookay," Vega responds while starting to get up off the ground picking pieces of lettuce off herself. "But do me a favor Cat next time you want to sit next to Jade or anyone just say so and I'll gladly let you...alright?"

Cat nods her head and reaches over for her tray of food close to Andre. She slides the tray over to herself and begins to eat her spaghetti staying quiet and avoiding peoples' eyes. Vega sighs looking at her lunch on the ground, "Well I guess no lunch for me today."

She takes the closest seat available to her which happens to be next to Robbie and looks around the table. Her eyes fall onto a downcast Cat who slightly looks up from her food. The small red head mutters softly, "Sorry." She pouts at Tori and all is forgiven as she smiles back at her reassuringly.

"It's okay Cat I get it you were just too excited."

Cat chirps up a little and weakly begins to grin. "Thanks Tori...you're so understanding."

I roll my eyes yeah sure she is. Vega is so freaking perfect and understands everybody Miss Tori Vega always so damn forgiving.

"But I'm still sorry for making you lose your lunch."

She places a hand on Cat's arm. "No really its okay Cat don't feel bad."

Beck speaks up, "Hey Tori I'll buy you some lunch."

"What," I loudly interject. He looks at me with a raised brow. "So you're buying her lunch now?"

"She lost her food did you not just see," Beck retaliates to my hostility.

Tori shifts her focus back and forth to Beck and I. She chimes in, "Umm...no Beck its okay really I'm fine. Not that hungry anyway."

"You see she's not hungry," I snap at him.

His eyes remain locked on mine as he addresses her. "Tori it really isn't a big deal. Jade here just can't seem to get over the fact that we are _all _friends here."

I glare at him and bitterly laugh. "Friends?" I lick my lips, "Then Andre or Robbie here can buy her lunch _not_ my boyfriend."

Andre fidgets uncomfortably and Robbie being an idiot decides to say something. "Well to be fair I don't have any money on me so-."

"Can it Shapiro! Nobody asked you anything!" He falls quite and starts to tremble looking down at the table.

Beck runs a hand through his hair, "Why do you have to be so over dramatic? It's just lunch she needs to eat."

"Then fine. I'll buy her her damn lunch," I sharply remark.

"Fine," Beck agrees. "Go ahead that is very mature of you," he sarcastically taunts.

Everyone is quiet at the table no one daring to speak up as Beck and I glare daggers at each other. I break the silence as I stand up from my spot. "Well come on Vega let's go get your stupid food."

Tori stands up from her seat next to Robbie and follows behind me trying to catch up to my fast paced strides. I get in line behind others waiting on Festus to finish their orders. She stands next to me our arms touching as she shifts her weight from foot to foot. I can feel her soft skin against mine and I involuntarily shiver. I roll my eyes and at that she stops.

"Nervous Vega?"

"No...it's just you're talking to me now," her eyebrows scrunch together in question.

"Yeah no I'm not...this does not make us friends got it. I'm putting up with you and that's it. So don't think just because I'm buying you lunch that we're on good terms. I don't want Beck buying you stuff that's all. If anything he should be offering to buy me things like my lunch not yours."

She nods her head in acceptance.

"And take two steps to the left I can't stand having you close to me."

Tori moves two steps away like I tell her and strangely I regret making her move. I shouldn't want to bring myself closer to her; I should want a yardstick distance in between us.

**(Later on after school)**

I'm gathering some of my books for my homework tonight at my locker when I turn my head to my right and catch Beck coming around the corner walking right over to me no falter in his steps. He gets straight to the point no warm hellos exchanged which is not surprising considering the point where're at right now."So you're acknowledging me now?"

I sigh and close my locker door shut, adjusting my black messenger bag."Yeah I guess I am."

His chocolate brown eyes bore into mine with misdoubt. "Why did it take so long this time Jade? I mean you completely shut me and everyone else out."

I turn to fully face him, "Well you deserved it and same as for everyone else."

He shakes his head giving me skeptical look. "Really you think I am responsible for something you messed up on? Jade you're the one who turned your friends against you. You started this whole fight with Tori for no reason."

"She flirted with you _that_ is reason enough," I back fire.

Beck rolls his eyes, "Oh come on Jade. There are going to be girls who look at me and flirt with me...but you got to trust me. You need to trust me and believe that I won't hurt you in that way."

I cross my arms knowing that I've never fully trusted him."Well I don't...I don't trust you Beck."

He runs a hand through his hair appearing exasperated."Why?"

I tighten my jaw deciding against pouring out all my feelings. "I have to get home." I'm about to turn around and walk off but his voice makes me stay.

"Don't, don't do this Jade. Every time I want to understand you all you do is end up shutting me out and running off. Just talk to me for once," he says pleadingly.

It's not right of me to always do this to him...to always keep him in the dark. But I just can't fully open up to him either. "Beck...I saw what I saw. You seemed pretty comfortable with Vega's arm rubbing all over you. How about you be honest with me Beck?" I pause wondering if I should ask him something that's been bugging me for weeks now.

"Do you like her?"

He stays silent for a couple of seconds his eyes wandering to the ground then back to mine. "Yeah I like her, but not in that way. Jade once you get to know her she's really cool. She's really nice and-."

I lick and purse my lips, "Did I ask you about how nice she is? No, I asked you if you like her."

His eyebrows furrow in confusion, "Yeah and I said no."

I uncross my arms letting them drop to my sides."But you're avoiding part of what I said Beck. I said you looked pretty comfortable while she had her hands all over you. You're dodging that fact aren't you?"

He sighs, "Okay now you're just over exaggerating. This is pointless."

"_Pointless_!" I jab a finger at his chest. "You're the one who wanted me to be honest for once. Well here you go Beck! I'm fucking trying to talk to you like you said and what do you do? You choose to act like that moment never happened."

"Because that moment meant nothing Jade! He places his hands on my shoulders. "_I'm_ with you. If I really wanted to be with Tori I would have left you by now," he assures.

Yeah right sure Beck that makes me feel way better. I shove his chest hard enough for his hands to fall off my shoulders. "Bullshit. That's a lie you don't want to dump me right now simply because you'll look like a complete and total ass."

Beck runs his hands over his face. "You've got to be kidding me. When did I ever say I wanted Tori in that way!"

This time I run a hand through my hair feeling the ill temper rising between us. "It was pretty much implied," I quip back sarcastically. "Remember that kiss Beck? Did that mean nothing too?"

His brown eyes lock onto mine a sense of guilt showing. Does he really think that kiss meant nothing to him or to Vega? It means something to one of them...whether they are admitting it to themselves or not.

Beck breaks his silence, "I love you. Jade I _love_ you...and only you."

I can tell his words are sincere...but there is much more that is changing between us than he realizes. I know him; I know Beck wants to keep our relationship going. He's use to it too. I shut my eyes close squeezing back whatever tears dare to surface. I don't think I can let him go...at least not right now. Beck still means something to me, so I won't end it. Maybe we can fix this? I reopen my eyes and for the first time can see a fearful Beck scared of losing me. "Yeah well maybe you should start showing it," I say faintly and turn away from him walking to the exit.

He won't know that I was directing those words to myself along with him. I haven't exactly shown Beck that I care for him...and I guess that's mostly because I've never really felt the way he's felt. I walk out of Hollywood Arts and head to my mom's car. I open the door and shut myself inside not bothering to turn on the engine.

**(Flashback)**

I lay down on the green football field besides her. "Hi," I say softly.

She turns her head to look at me and smiles a little. "Hey."

"Sorry to stalk you." I grin at Kate. She smiles fully now in response.

My grin falls away and I look up at the sky taking in the muggy clouds. Then my eyes travel back to her to see those concerned electric blue eyes attentively watching me. "You're right," I breathe out.

"Right about what?"

"About there being more to me than I let others see."

A small comfortable silence reaches us and Kate gazes at me with sympathetic eyes. "There's parts of us we always hide Jade. And that's okay...everyone runs away from something sometimes." She pauses and takes a breath. "But there are people who see _you _Jade...and if you let them they can help you see yourself."

**(End of Flashback)**

That happened the same day I went out onto the roof and Vega found me. I left Tori up there by herself and only my painful words, but I couldn't let myself breakdown in front of her. I walked away because that's the only thing I know how to do. And when I found Kate I found something else I didn't expect. I came across someone who gets me. I think- I think I might be falling for Kate Connors.

* * *

><p><strong>I have a feeling I might receive some hate reviews or just some comments about not wanting Kate and Jade to be together. I kind of hope I don't, but this is how the story is going in my head so far. Not how it is going to end, but think about it this way Jade has to break up with Beck right? So in order to do that she has to admit to herself that she's a lesbian. Hope that gives some hints ;)<br>**

**Leave a review just not a death threat please I'll like freak and never write again. Anyways I'm off to go pass out for a couple hours! Goodnight and thanks for the reviews, favorites, and follows!**


	21. History Repeats Itself

**If anyone is still with me I'm back! I know it's been way too long and I've decided to upload two chapters since I think I practically took two months to write this all out. I apologize guys I had a major case of writers block, then family/friend issues, not to mention college...so yeah. **

**Anyways I'll leave you to it. Most of this chapter is in Tori's POV first then the last bit is Jade's.**

**I don't own Victorious. **

* * *

><p><strong><span>Chapter 20<span>**

**Tori's POV**

I repeatedly stab my salad looking over in the direction of where Beck and Jade are sitting. They are sitting alone today trying another attempt to work out their issues. From the looks of it, today must be one of those days where they just can't seem to get along. The two of them are arguing again seeming to keep their voices low, but all together anyone can tell they're going to head to head by their body posture.

Truth be told, Beck and Jade have been like this for weeks now. One day Jade and Beck will sit with the rest of us things appearing alright, but then on other days Jade and Beck will sit by themselves when things get more heated between them. Jade even sometimes sits only with that senior Kate Connors she's grown an interest in. It strikes me as odd really Jade never lets herself get too close to people, but by the looks of it I would say Kate's the closest one to her these days.

She and Kate are practically together all the time leaving Beck off with the rest of the gang. So I guess them sitting alone some days is their way of trying to get back to how things were before any of this happened, and by any of this I mean _me_.

Sure Jade has been sitting more recently with us and actually tolerating me, but if I had never showed up at Hollywood Arts, I can't help to think that maybe Beck and Jade would be okay. That their relationship wouldn't be collapsing. I can't help but to feel guilty sometimes like maybe it's my entire fault.

That's why I'm hoping she won't take it out on me during class tomorrow. I narrow my eyes and watch her closely, my nerves growing at the thought of having to work with her on our stage fighting scene.

"Look at her," I say apprehensively around the table where Andre, Cat and I are sitting together.

"Who," Andre asks.

"Jade! I guarantee you she's telling Beck all about how she's going to punch me when we do our scene," I say to Andre overly paranoid as I pick at my salad less aggressively now.

"I wonder if mirrors work in outer space," Cat randomly blurts out staring into her small compact makeup mirror completely fascinated.

Andre and I shoot her a quizzical look, but the small red head doesn't seem to notice.

I focus my attention back onto Andre, "I mean what am I going to do if she really hits me?"

"Bleed; burst into tears," he replies sarcastically as if it's no big deal.

I frown and roll my eyes a little. "I'm serious."

Andre smiles slightly as he tries to smooth over my anxious mind."Its stage fighting no one really hits anybody."

"Yeah but accidents happen. And, what if she makes an accident happen on purpose?" I state to him letting him know that Jade is way more devious than anyone here at Hollywood Arts. She can be crowned the queen of deception and he knows it. I raise my fork up to take a bite of my salad when I freeze staring at some crazy looking big lettuce, I shake it off my fork vigorously feeling all my nerves still building.

"Did you know the word mirror has only six letters and half of them are r's," Cat responds like if this were the subject we are currently talking about.

We stare at Cat and I wonder if Andre has gotten used to the odd behavior of Cat Valentine. _I'm_ still trying to get used to how random and bubbly she can be.

Andre switches his focus back onto me."Haven't you and Jade been rehearsing?"

"Yeah, yesterday after school and this morning during study hall," I answer him. Actually it surprises me Jade didn't try anything during rehearsals. Not to mention she wasn't as mean to me like she regularly is. Most of the time now Jade has put with me, but in a way it's like we've developed this sort of heckling game where both of us tries to provoke the other; said person usually being Jade to start off the trouble.

"And did she hit you for real?"

"No- cause she probably wants to wait and do it in front of the whole class to humiliate me."

"Well if she does she loses half a letter grade."

"Oh great. So she gets an A minus and I get a broken eye and a black nose."

Andre's eyebrows draw downwards in confusion. "I think you meant-."

"I know what I meant," I cut him off curtly feeling my frustration elevating.

Cat cuts the quick silence and excitedly blabbers, "My dog has a black nose it's so cute it's like a baby meatball!"

We shoot her over another set of incredulous looks. "Meatballs are brown," Andre remarks.

"You're so mean to me!" Cat's bubbly personality turns sour as she grabs her belongings and abruptly stands up storming away from the table.

We watch her leave the table and look at her left over food. "You want half her sandwich," I ask Andre.

"Mmh," he grumbles.

"Hey baby sister," Trina strolls by in a rather good mood.

"Hey," I reply a bit surprised. Well it is Trina- she's always cheery. I guess her and I have that in common.

"Andy," she directs to Andre in passing.

"Andre," he states pointlessly knowing Trina will never get his name right not ever since the showcase incident.

I invite Trina over."Want to sit with us?"

"No," she quickly replies not even considering her actions to be rude.

Well fine I guess. I take a bite out of Cat's sandwich hoping that tomorrow won't lead to public humiliation from Jade.

**The Next Day at Hollywood Arts**

I am sitting on the edge of my seat currently watching Andre and his partner act out their stage fighting scene. I have to say it's rather good! I mean Gwen just threw him onto a table with amazing force and it smashed into pieces! Well of course it's a breakaway table, but man they really nailed it! Everyone agrees as they all applaud loudly.

Mr. Harper walks up to the front of the class and I can feel my stomach turning into knots as he looks down at his clipboard ready to call the next duo. Gosh I hope it's not me and Jade. Ever since yesterday I can't seem to calm myself I'm literally flustered to the point of exhaustion. I couldn't even get a good night's rest cause thoughts of Jade physically hurting me kept my mind up all night as I tossed and turned in my bed.

"Alright next up we have...Tori and Jade," he announces. _Great _just what I _wasn't_ hoping for!

Jade straightens up from her comfortable slouched position and immediately stands up. She turns her head in my direction sending me an oh so fake sweet smile. I hesitate to stand up from my seat, but manage to while giving her a waning smile in return.

As we begin to make our way up to the front of Black Box Theater my eyes catch onto Andre's. I mouth no to him and shake my head letting him know I don't want to go through with this. He mouths back its okay and gestures with his hands for me to relax as we pass each other, him taking his seat and me going up against the now very cold hearted Jade West. Don't get me wrong I still think the Jade I knew is somewhere buried deep down behind all those countless walls she's built over the years, but I remember what she did to Ivy. She really pulled a number on her and it scares me to think that Jade would actually physically hurt me in front of everyone to get some sort of revenge against me.

Calm down Tori get it together I say to myself as I finally face the class. I nervously pause and tuck some of my hair behind my ear. "Um- okay ah for our scene I'm going to be playing an old lady who's walking home from a bingo game," I say with a nod of my head and a very insecure smile.

"And I play a **brutal** mugger," Jade emphasis a little too happily for my taste. Man this is so going in the wrong direction already! The class closely observes her all picking up on Jade's satisfied smirk.

I nod in agreement trying to appear calm, cool, and collected, but let's face it I'm anything but all that! "Yes, a brutal mugger. Who mugs me without actually hurting me," I say to the class and look over to her my voice shaking towards the end. Jade glares at me as I stare into those green eyes that appear a bit blue today for only a matter of seconds before she walks off positioning herself for our scene.

"Okay as always be careful and if anything goes wrong just yell the safe word which is **butternut**," Russ the stunt coordinator informs us.

I place the gray old lady wig on top of my head and crouch downwards like an old woman as Mr. Harper begins to signal us. "Okay guys. Ready?"

My eyes draw away from our teacher and shift onto Jade. She crouches too, but in an _entirely _different way. She almost looks lethal like she's getting ready to pounce on me as if she were a lioness. Jade out stretches her arms preparing for the assault. I literally want to run out the class, but find myself frozen in her predatory stare and prowler smirk.

"Aaand."

"Butternut!" I yell out before Mr. Harper calls out action.

Jade throws her arms in the air annoyed. "What!"

Everyone in the class looks confused at my random outburst. Mr. Harper looks at me concerned, "Tori what's the problem?"

"I was testing the safe word. It works!" I say with a little smile and bounce on my feet cheerfully.

Jade rolls her eyes and sighs clearly tired of my paranoia. That's it I have to stop and just get this over with."Okay I'm ready," I say swiftly. We get into position again this time there is no going back I'm afraid.

"And action."

"Oh I certainly did enjoy the bingo. Although I do miss Bob Hope," I say in my best elderly voice. The class laughs lightly.

"Gimmie your money," Jade says behind me in a deep voice sounding very much like an actual mugger as she roughly grabs my shoulder her fingers cold on my exposed warm skin.

A tingle courses through my body from the simple touch, but I ignore it focusing on my line."What!"

I look around the room appearing frightened totally in character now. "I ain't playing gimmie your money and your watch," Jade seethes threateningly.

"Oh wouldn't you rather have this," I mockingly retort as I quickly spin around to pretend hit Jade in the face with my cane.

"Ow!" She falls down on her knees everyone on the edge of their seats. Wait what? What just happened?

"Butternut!" Jade shouts as she stands up tossing her black beanie onto the floor. Her hands go to her face red blood appearing on her eye; her usual stoic expression contorting into pain. "Butternut!"

Oh my god- did I just hit Jade West! No wait- how could I've? We've been rehearsing this scene together close to a week! No I didn't hit her! I'm sure of it! I couldn't have actually_ hit her_ with the stupid cane! Everyone begins to rush over to her, Kate and Beck the first ones out of their seats.

"She's bleeding," Cat yelps worriedly.

What if- what if I did hit her?

Mr. Harper- "Cut!"

Russ- "Let me see! Let me see!"

Beck and Kate both reach Jade first, but she leans into the security of Kate's arms rather than her boyfriend's. "Are you okay?" Beck asks standing next to Jade looking rather thrown off by her choice of support.

"No! Tori hit me in the face for real!" Jade answers him as he gazes on unsure if he should cut in and take hold of his injured girlfriend or let her be in the arms of another.

"No I didn't!" I protest back at her in disbelief. I wouldn't do that to her!

She stares at me unconvinced and counters back. "Tell that to my bloody eye! Ow!"

Russ-"Alright you better sit down."

Mr. Harper- "Somebody grab a chair."

Russ- "Yeah quickly get a chair."

I spot a chair near behind her and think to myself maybe I can fix this."Here, here, here!" I grab the chair and pull it close to her so she can sit down.

Russ- "Here you go sit down."

Jade steps out of Kate's arms and begins to sit herself down until the chair collapses underneath her. She screeches. My mouth hangs open as I look down at Jade on the floor now. Oh my god she is going to kill me!

Russ- "That was a breakaway chair!"

Jade glares up at me clearly displeased that I've made things worse."Ah butternut!"

**Ten minutes later**

Russ- "Put that on your eye. Here you go." The whole class is basically gathered around Jade all attentively looking on at her injury as she places an ice pack on her eye.

Cat separates herself from the small group and walks over to Andre and I. "Why did you hit Jade in the face with a cane," she asks me completely convinced I actually hit her.

"I didn't!"

"Okay I believe you! Don't hit me!" Cat takes a step back frightened by my yelling.

I roll my eyes and look over to Andre for support. "Will you back me up here?"

"Okay look I'm sure Tori didn't mean to whack Jade in the face with a cane," he says to Cat.

Really Andre! Come on he's my best friend why doesn't_ he_ believe me!"Ugh why does everyone think I hit her!?"

"Well we were watching you guys do the scene, you hit her across the face with your cane, she fell down and now her eye's all bloody."

"Well that doesn't mean I hit her."

Cat and him exchange strange glances. "I kinda think it does."

I groan and make my way over to a now standing Jade. "Jade you know I didn't hit you. I swung but I missed."

"Look Tori-." She stumbles about to faint, but Kate immediately grabs hold around her waist making sure to keep her up right.

Kate speaks up, "I think it's best if I take her to the nurse Mr. Harper."

Mr. Harper nods his head in agreement, "Yes Kate you're right go on and go quickly now we need to get her checked out right away."

"But I didn't hit her!"

"Can someone call my mom?" Jade asks holding on to Kate as they begin to make their way to the front doors of The Black Box Theater.

Beck- "I'll call your mom."

"She doesn't need her mom! Don't bother her mom," I warn Beck agitated that no one believes me.

Beck- "I got to call her mom."

I exhale weakly wondering how this all went so wrong. Jade stops walking with Kate and looks back at me a pained look on her face."And I thought we were just starting to be friends."

I'm taken back by surprise from her words and disappointed expression. My mouth curves into a frown, "But I- I didn't."

Kate slips one of Jade's arms over her shoulder and leads her out the double doors. Once they disappear and those metal doors shut everyone begins to stare at me. Their expressions saying it all...they all think I purposely hit Jade West.

* * *

><p><strong>Tori's POV <strong>

**In her room (1:45 am)**

I can't sleep again. Just fantastic another sleepless night and it's all because of _her. _Once Mr. Harper's class was over the rest of the day went by in such a blur. I didn't know what to think really after the whole stage fighting incident. Word had spread fast around Hollywood Arts that Tori Vega intentionally whacked Jade West in the face with a cane. Though no one really knows for sure how Jade is taking it because she was sent straight home after Kate took her to the nurse.

All I can say is today felt a lot like my days back at Sherwood, the whispering of rumors in the hall, the dirty glances. I didn't like it one bit. I mean who likes to be gossiped about? People have kept seeing me as the like able new girl, but now this little matter between Jade and I is sure to raise heads. The talk is already starting and depending on how tomorrow goes things could get worse. If things don't get better I might not be considered that nice girl from the big showcase, but instead the overbearing two face girl who uses violence to get her way.

I'm not sure what tomorrow holds for me back at Hollywood Arts...but I'm certain that I _didn't_ hurt Jade. _I would_ _never hit her._ I don't get where all this went wrong? Jade and I had been rehearsing for several days and all those times the scene played out smoothly. Why would this time be any different? _How_ could this time be any different?

* * *

><p><strong>(Hollywood Arts Early Morning)<strong>

I just had to get called to the guidance counselor's office for an early morning session apparently to discuss my _violence issues. _At least that's how Lane, our guidance counselor put it. He's a bit different from the past guidance counselors I have encountered over the years at my other schools. The man is _seriously _obsessed with lotion, but come to think of it shouldn't surprise me almost all the teachers and staff at Hollywood Arts are odd in their own right just take Sikowtiz for example.

Anyways looks like Lane apparently thinks the whole stage fighting incident with me and Jade turned out to be a heat of the moment kind of thing. He thinks I hit Jade without intentionally meaning to. He says I was so stressed out that Jade was going to hurt me that I instinctively swung on her to protect myself. So he chalks it up to just that and I'm perfectly fine with it because he isn't making me take any sort of anger management classes. The only thing that sucks is I have two weeks of detention and I have to clean the Black Box on Friday night after some middle school kids have this _giant _food fight scene. So yeah my Friday night is going to be _really _exciting.

By the time I'm out of Lane's office the halls are crowded with students and I'm turning the corner coming back into the main hall of Hollywood Arts to stop at my locker. I keep my head bowed most of the way there avoiding the stares of few students, but you can't always keep your head down and when I look up I spot Beck and Jade at her locker. My legs tell me to run in the opposite direction, yet my feet won't budge an inch when I catch the purple dark bruise on her face.

Did_ I_ really do that? I take a sharp intake of breath when Jade turns in my direction and scramble over to my locker. She must have noticed me staring at her from across the hall. I swiftly put in my locker combination and start to gather my things for the day when I hear someone behind me clear their throat. I shut my eyes tightly preparing myself for the worst Jade is going to publicly humiliate me back now probably in front of the _whole entire school _to get even!

I feel a strong hand placed on my shoulder but the grip is loose and a familiar voice brings me out of my hazy anxiety. "You alright there muchacha?"

I spin around quickly at his voice so thankful that my life is not currently ending. "Andre," I voice loudly surprised and throw my arms around his neck. Soon I feel his arms wrap around my waist to return the favor.

"Whoa, whoa there Tori calm down with the squeezing girl it's me. What were you expecting someone else?"

I loosen my grip on him and pull back slightly to look at his face. I smile sheepishly, "Yeah I thought you were_ Jade _and that _you_ were going to send me to the nurse's office this time. I just thought after yesterday you or anyone else for that matter wasn't going to speak to me again."

Andre chuckles lightly, "Oh come on Tori I'm your best friend and what happened yesterday between you and Jade isn't going to make me turn my back on you. I _know _you didn't mean to hit Jade...it was an accident that's all."

I nod my head sighing a little, my hands remain around his neck and I feel his arms still placed on my waist. "Do you think Jade will get over it," I ask him my worry growing.

Andre's easy smile turns downward a bit as he contemplates my question. He doesn't really even have to answer me back I know for sure that Jade will hold this against me. "_Well_ she is Jade...and I think you know by now she holds grudges. Hate to say it Tori but I don't see her exactly all hugs and smiles any time soon. Not that she was before all this anyway," he adds at the end making me smile a little.

His smile returns as soon as he senses that I'm getting overly stressed about the situation again."You know Beck is going to try and talk to her right? He also agrees with me about the stage fighting thing he knows you didn't mean it on purpose. As for Cat and Robbie well...what can I say _they're Cat and Robbie_."

I laugh at that understanding what he is implying about Cat and Robbie them being the strangest ones from our little group. My laughter doesn't last long though because someone slams my locker door shut making my grip on Andre's neck tighten. I feel my body tense up from the most familiar voice I never fail to forget. "A little too close don't you think Harris? You and Vega have been _glued_ to each other for over the past six minutes."

Andre turns his head to his left and I turn my head to my right the both of us taking in Jade's bruised appearance. We pull apart from each other as soon as Jade's words sink in. Andre turns his body to face her directly as I do the same. There is a tense silence between the three of us as Jade stares at Andre and I her eyes unreadable, but something in them almost alarming. "Don't think I didn't fail to notice. Now how about you leave us alone so I can talk to Vega by myself for a second," she states in her usual monotone voice.

Andre's eyes meet mine searching for a response. He wants to know if I'm okay being left alone with Jade. I hesitate for only a few seconds until my eyes switch over to Jade, her perfectly arched pierced brow rising up in that intimidating way she gives to everyone if they don't comply by her wishes.

I nervously stutter. "Um- ah I- as long as she doesn't kill me I'm perfectly fine with being left alone with Jade."

She rolls her eyes at me. "I'm _not _going to kill her. So ease up Vega will yea."

Andre looks at her suspiciously his arms now crossed. "It's Tori's call if she wants me around I'll stay."

Jade's lips turn into a scowl. "Oh you will won't you. Okay _fine. _Then I guess you can wait out here in the hall while I drag Vega into the damn closet for some privacy."

Andre and I share looks of equal confusion. What does she mean by dragging me into the closet? Before we both can react Jade is behind me encircling her arms around my waist in a bear hug manner and _literally_ dragging me away from Andre's side. "Hey! Let me go," I scream at her.

She laughs, "Sure Vega when we have some alone time I'll let you go."

I try prying her arms off my waist, but it's a pointless fight she's got me good. "Andre," I scream out at him asking for some assistance.

He takes two steps then halts when I realize Jade must have shot him one of her many menacing looks. "Ah- yeah Tori I'll be out here waiting for ya if you need me." He claps his hands together one time in a nervous gesture and walks off to his locker. Are you kidding me! _I need you now Andre! _Gosh is everyone _really _that afraid to stand up to Jade around here!

"Almost there Vega and don't even think about yelling for anymore help," Jade mutters near my ear as I keep trying to escape. I hear people snickering as Jade pulls me further away. I guess they assume Jade West is about to get even.

Soon enough I'm in a dark closet the smell of bleach assaulting my nose along with other cleaning product odors. Even if I can't see everything well around me I have to try to escape from her. I raise my arms which thankfully are free and tangle my hands into her hair pulling on it roughly. She grunts in discomfort and quickly removes my hands from her hair. Jade twists both of my arms painfully behind my back and resorts to pushing me into the wall. My body unable to move from her applied weight.

"What the hell Vega!" I yelp in fear as I feel the side of my face collide with the wall. "Did you think _this _would make things better!" Jade's body presses further into me her breast pushing against my back. I bite down on my lip hard my body unable to distinguish the pleasure from the pain.

"Ah Jade please don't hurt- don't hurt me," I let out between ragged breathes.

She loosens her jerking grip from my arms and places them against the cold wall with her own hands covering mine. "Are you going to try and runaway Vega," she whispers calmly into my ear.

I take a second to answer reveling in the feel of her chest rising and falling against my back. "No."

"Alright then." She lets go of me and just like that the contact between us ends leaving me cold.

As I remove myself off the wall lights come on illuminating my surroundings. I turn around to look at Jade wondering what her true intentions are if she says she isn't going to hurt me.

"_Sooo_- why did you drag me into the janitor's closet?"

She shrugs her shoulders and answers me disinterested. "I don't know I just wanted to mess with you thought it would be fun."

"Jade!"

She smirks at my displeasure. "And I was right."

I run a hand through my hair."Well you shouldn't have done that! I'm not some kind of rag doll you can drag around whenever you want."

Jade crosses her arms and quirks her pierced brow at me. "Oh I shouldn't have? I don't know Vega I think you owe me something after giving me a black eye. Don't you think?"

At her words I am reminded of yesterday and I focus on the violet bruise on her eye. I take a step closer to her my hand reaching up to her face slowly. She doesn't say anything until my fingers start to hover near her cheek. "Don't."

Jade retreats from me by taking two steps back putting distance in between us. My hand falls to my side as I stare at her feeling a pain of guilt hit my stomach. "Jade- I didn't mean it you know. I didn't mean to hit you with that cane." I sigh, "It's just...I was so afraid that _you _were going to be the one to hurt me. So I panicked and in the heat of the moment I guess I swung for real."

She stays quiet observing me her lips pressed tight together. "I'm sorry Jade. I know it doesn't fix anything, but I just want you to understand that I would _never _hurt you."

I wait for her to say something the silence killing me as I nervously wring my hands together. "You're right...this doesn't fix anything. And, why should I believe your sorry attempt of an apology anyway? "

"Because- because we used to be friends once. And, I think that counts enough for you to know that I wouldn't ever intentionally hurt you," I say sincerely hoping that she comes around.

"Don't bring the past into this Vega."

Why does she have to be so stubborn? "Jade we can't run from _our_ past. Don't you get it? We knew each other way before anyone else knew us. _We_ have history together Jade...and that's not going to disappear like you want it to."

She rolls her eyes annoyed and uncrosses her arms still defensive even without her stance. "It's history for a reason Vega. Meaning it's in the past, it's over and done with. So for once why don't you focus on the present?"

"What's the present I should be focusing on Jade?"

She counts off two of her fingers."Well for starters take in the fact that _I don't like you_. The fact that you can try all you want to get into my good graces, but I won't give you a second chance. Don't _you_ get it Tori? I know you've been trying to get on my good side thinking that the old me is still somewhere buried inside. But, you wanna know something Vega- the Jade West you knew is just as buried as those memories that you love to cling to.

"Buried in what sense Jade?"

"What?"

"You said buried as those memories so do you mean buried deep within or-"

"Yeah I get it Vega. Don't try to make it sound like there is a double meaning behind my words. I mean buried as in it's over, I'm not coming back. There is no hope left to finding the old me."

"I don't believe that."

"I don't care what you believe...it's the truth. The proof is in this." Jade points to the bruise on her face. "The whole stage fighting didn't work because _we _don't work. That's why our friendship failed and that's why we can't get along."

I don't say anything to her when she finishes speaking. I simply stare into those clear green blue eyes of hers that closely resemble a storm trying to find something, anything that shows me she doesn't really believe that. She stays silent too staring back at me with flat out no warmth. The morning bell rings signaling that everyone is already in class and we're late.

I nod my head finally giving her the response she wants to hear. My voice coming out neutral after all that is what she wants no emotion from me. "Okay fine I get it...there is no chance of us being friends again. I have to get to class you made me late." I turn around and walk out the door leaving her behind. If Jade doesn't want to be friends anymore what can I do? Nothing, I can't do anything because she's made her choice about me and I should just respect her wishes. If she wants to be left alone then I should leave her alone.

* * *

><p><strong>Jade's POV<strong>

I'm almost about to stop Vega from walking out the janitor's closet, but I let her go anyway. This is what I want. This has to be what's best for the both of us. Driving her away keeps her safe from the bullshit I would cause in her life. Tori doesn't need me, she just thinks she does. Truth be told I'm probably the one who needs her more than anyone...but what kind of person would I be if I take away her happiness; that little spark that makes her who she is. She doesn't get it she never has even since we were kids. Being around me isn't healthy for her, all I'll do is drain the light from her smile, cause her tears, and heartache. I'm not good enough for Tori Vega.

And, everyone who saw that from the beginning was right from the start.

**Lunch in the Asphalt Cafe**

I'm having lunch with Beck today, just me and him. It's something we've started to do for the sake of our relationship which is still crumbling. Trust me it's shitty, but I want to make things work with Beck see if maybe we can save _us. _It's just- no matter how hard we have both been trying to make things work it seems there are always other _things _(people) that get in the way of our progress.

I pick at my salad aimlessly not really wanting to eat anything as I gaze off thinking about two people who sure are making the choice to stay with Beck that much harder. It's not that I don't care about Beck; I still do as a friend anyway. I just feel I owe him a fair try. I owe him the chance to show me _we_ can still be something more than just friends.

And, so far he has been doing just fine...it's just not enough anymore. My feelings for Kate haven't died down any and I can't believe _I'm _saying this, but Vega's been making me feel- _jealous_!I mean come on the way she was all on Andre pissed me off! I couldn't take seeing her all over him, close to him like as if he were her boyfriend! I thought I was going to be sick from the sight and I've _never_ felt that repulsed in my life. I don't get why it even bothered me that much she can date who ever the hell she wants, Andre is a good guy. It's just when I saw her with him it felt...wrong? I wanted to be the one in her arms receiving that sort of affection from her. So I panicked and dragged her off to the closet to get her away from him!

Which really makes no sense what so ever because on one hand I did it to get Tori away from Andre and close to me. Yet the second I was alone with her I pushed her away so that I wouldn't get attached again? I'm just...beyond confused with myself_._

Beck interrupts my thoughts as he walks over to the table. "Hey. How ya' felling?"

"My eye hurts," I complain as he takes a seat. I have to keep up the charade after all. I didn't fake this black eye for nothing.

"Oh yeah which one?" He remarks with a little smile.

I narrow my eyes at him understanding that he's trying to be playful with me like old times. "Cute," I respond sarcastically. "I want coffee."

"What's the magic word?"

"_Get me some coffee_," I snap at him. Beck stares at me serious his eyes blinking a few times. _Fiiine _Beck I'll play along! Anything to get me my damn coffee! I fake small pout and force myself to say, "Please."

He grins, "Actually the magic word was lotion, but I'll accept your please because you got a boo boo eye."

As he starts to walk off I remind him about the way I like my coffee made. "Two sugars."

"I know what to do," he responds back at me while continuing to walk off leaving me alone with my thoughts again.

So yeah I faked the whole black eye thing. I faked it because it was the only way to get it through to Vega that she should give up on me and move on. That way she won't get hurt and I won't be the cause of her pain. I mean yeah right now she probably feels a bit like crap, but she'll get over it and then I won't mean anything to her.

My ears pick on some chick gasping behind me and I'm a total idiot for turning around to check because-. "You guys are so dead!" The prissy random chick just fucking threw water in my face! "Oh my god Jade!" I shut my eyes on impact and start to rise up feeling my anger about to be unleashed on this dumb ass I open my eyes and glare at her when I feel my makeup beginning to melt. "I'm so sorry! Please don't destroy me socially! I didn't mean to-."

"Just forget it!" I grab my things quickly and flee the Asphalt Cafe. Shit! If I don't hurry up this makeup is going to come off my entire eye! I speed up my pace walking into the main hall of Hollywood Arts when I hear Andre off in the distance.

"Oh hey Jade, Jade, Jade, Jade! Wait up!"

Crap he can't see me like this either! "I can't talk. No." I try to casually walk away from him, but the boy won't take no for answer and runs up stopping me dead in my tracks.

"**What!**"

He knits his brows close together, "Ugh- what's wrong with your eye?"

I avoid his gaze and keep my hand on my face trying to hide what's left of the makeup. "Tori hit me with a cane remember?"

"Yeah but-." Andre reaches out to touch part of my exposed eye. "I've never seen a black eye drip before?" He retracts his hand and observes the purple liquid on his fingertip."This is makeup. Tori never hit you. _Did she_?"

I'm at a loss for words from his accusing glare. "Ah- I." He's right and I _can't _explain to him why I faked this whole thing! I had planned out the whole stage fighting incident since Vega and I got partnered together. It was supposed to be the perfect plan to finally get her to stop trying to be my friend!

"_Fake black eye, fake blood_."

I remove my hand from my eye knowing the jig is up and there is no way for me to pull one on Andre. I lock my eyes with his. "_Look _you _cannot _tell anyone about this _especially_ Tori," I attempt to reason with him. He doesn't know about _our _history together, no one does. But, he can't rat me out it'll ruin everything!

"I won't," he assures as I take a step back about to leave to clean up my face.

He is calm, but soon begins to yell on the top of his lungs."**Tori!**"

Are you kidding me! He runs off as I yell loudly, "**Shut up**!" I run after him as he takes off up the stairs in the main hall in search for Tori.

"Yo Tori! Tori! Where are you!"

"Andre! Be quiet! Please stop!" God why won't he shut up! He is going to destroy what I did today! I just know it! Vega was good and done with! She was going to finally give up on me; I could see it in her eyes after what I had said to her in the janitor's closet.

"Anybody seen Tori!"

"Nobody bother Tori! False alarm! He ate a bad taco!" I yell out to others in the hall making sure they think nothing is wrong.

* * *

><p><strong>Jade's POV<strong>

**(Friday at the Black Box Theater after the Play)**

My plan officially was foiled when Andre found out about my _fake _black eye. He told Tori, I just know he did. And, that's why I'm here at the Black Box about to go see her. Vega didn't say anything to Lane or Mr. Harper and I _need _to know why she didn't.

As I quietly walk into the Black Box I see Derek our school security guard take a seat and Vega currently scraping some yellow chunky stuff off the edge of the wall. I don't say anything at first watching her work while I try to find my voice. She turns her head feeling my stare on her. Tori's eyes meet mine and for a second passing guilt sweeps my features as I look down at her. Her eyes full of wonderment as she waits for me to say something.

My throat feels a bit dry for some reason, but I manage to speak clearly anyway. "I don't get it."

"What," she asks with those innocent brown eyes that seem to always get to me no matter how hard I've tried to resist them.

"I know Andre told you that I faked everything." She avoids my eyes and looks down to the ground briefly before reaching out towards the edge of the wall to begin scraping again. "The blood- the black eye." My curiosity wonders off unintentionally. "What is that mac and cheese?"

"Looks like it right," Derek chimes in as Vega shoots him a glance of annoyance.

She stands up from her crouched position."Why are you here?"

_Why am I here_? No Tori the better question is, "_Why are you here?_ Why didn't you tell on me?"

She sighs a little as she answers me, "Because we both go to school here and it's not gonna be much fun for either one of us if we're fighting all the time." I can tell she is upset as she walks away from me over to another side of the food splattered walls.

I somehow doubt that's the only reason why Vega did this. She has a habit of trying to protect me even from my own undoing. I turn and walk over to the side she is working on now."So...you're just going to let me get away with it?" Tori looks at me her eyes serious and for the first time I can see she really is mad at me. "You took _detention and _a lower grade, _and _you're scraping crusty pudding off the wall on a Friday night just so I won't get in trouble," I question her confounded that after all this time Vega still won't give up on me.

She nods her head firmness laced in her words, "Pretty much."

Doesn't she understand why I did all this in the first place? Why can't Tori just see that getting involved with me will only cause her problems? "Well you can't be nice to me when I've been mean to you. That's not how it works."

She scrapes a bit of the wall and looks back at me contemplative about my words."Well then try being nice to me sometime. Maybe that'll work. Now go play I gotta scrape this onion dip off the wall." She leans in to sniff it. "Or onion puss."

Vega starts back up on her punishment, the punishment _I_ should be serving for lying. Yet here she is basically telling me I can dish out anything her way, but she'll always refuse to submit to the constraints I put on her. I was for sure this time would be the last straw. That she'd finally stop trying to be a friend to me. I remain silent watching Tori only for few seconds longer as I begin to walk away about to leave her here cleaning up this whole mess. But I look back, and looking back- well that gets you nowhere except stuck on the past.

I drop my bag and grab the bucket, tossing the towel onto my plaid covered shoulder knowing what I have to do now. What the right thing to do is. I pull out the wall scraper, walk over to nearest red pole close to Vega and scrape some gunk off it.

She turns from the sound and looks me over her eyebrows raised from surprise. I give her a painful fake smile letting her know this is me _trying _to be nice. When Vega turns away from me I stop scraping a plan forming in my mind."_This_ might be more fun with some tunes," I announce loudly making my way to the wall where the music controls are. My boot slides on some damn muck from the floor and I end up almost hitting the wall with my face. Although it's a good thing I put my hand out to break the fall. And, if I do say so myself I pull it together rather quickly and make my little slip up come off seductively by flipping my long autumn brown hair to music starting up.

Vega wants to laugh I know, but instead she just opens her mouth in amusement finding my clumsiness funny. I remember out of the two of us back when we were younger she was the one who was a complete klutz and I was the one always catching her when she lost her footing.

I smirk at her and begin to sway my hips to the rhythm of the music, flirtatiously swinging my small white towel showing Vega that Jade West can even make an awkward moment like that come off sensual. She watches me closely and we both share a genuine smile feeling the mood lift.

I'm back where I was at the red pole scraping away but dancing along to the music just like Vega. For some reason this feels like old times. Tori turns around changing the spot she was working on the wall to the red pole I'm cleaning. Like those days when we were on talking terms and we'd just be together not a care in the world of the oddity the two of us made up.

She interrupts my thoughts as she calls over Derek with a big smile on her face. "Hey D come scrape with us this is fun."

"Alright," Derek agrees and stands up from his seat to join us.

Well done Vega now all I have to do is get us both out of here and we're home free. I move over to the table and begin to clean it as Tori playfully bumps Derek following me. We are all cleaning and dancing now getting into the groove of things. Derek is scraping the poles Vega and I were previously working on _really _feeling it. Well I'm sure glad he is enjoying himself it will make it easier for me to bust Vega out of here.

I smile and hand him over my wall scraper hoping he is gullible enough to accept my little scheme. "Here try it with two."

And sure enough he does! Yes! Almost there! I dance back to Vega the both of us moving to the music. Once I see that Derek is distracted enough I tap Tori's shoulder making her glance over to him. We exchange looks of passing agreement and grab our bags literally dancing our way out of detention.

* * *

><p><strong>Did you all like this chapter? I wasn't too sure, but it ties in to the next one so I felt it was needed. I just want to be honest with you guys I felt for sometime like I wasn't go to continue this story, but I kept thinking of the people who really enjoy my story and decided not to give up.<strong>

**I just want to know if anyone still wants me to continue? Thanks for reading :)**


	22. Tempest

**This chapter is kind of like the other half of chapter 20. I'm really nervous about this chapter because it was hard to write and I feel maybe it's not great. So I really really hope you guys enjoy this one.**

**I don't own Victorious.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 21<strong>

**Jade's POV**

**(Outside Hollywood Arts)**

Vega and I are standing outside the main entrance of Hollywood Arts now laughing our heads off from the great dancing escape we managed to pull off. I still can't believe Derek actually fell for it, but whatever I don't feel bad about it. I turn to look at Tori as she holds a hand to her stomach, tears in her eyes.

How I love hearing her laugh, so carefree and wild. I would never tell her that, but I do. I miss feeling this light with her. My laughter eventually stops first and I can feel myself just smiling like an idiot. Vega's laughter dies down too as she stares at me with her coffee brown eyes that look darker in the night the only lighting coming from the streetlights. She smiles at me this warm and benevolent smile that radiates right into my bones.

In that brief moment I feel like it's just me and her, just Tori and Jade- no one around to judge us. I want to let myself go and give way, but the harder part of me the side that's grown divided from my heart pushes over the hidden sentiment. It overpowers me to the point where I simply turn my emotions off; I turn them off like a light switch reminding myself how _easy _it is to get hurt. How letting someone back in can destroy the haven you've built for yourself.

My smile transforms into nothing as I do what I do best still my insides. I turn to marble and detach myself from what happened minutes ago because it's what's needed. Vega can see it too my sudden change in mood. She can see that the cold hearted Jade West has returned and that she'll get nothing more from me than this.

Her smile lowers into melancholy yet her eyes still brim with hope. She will never give up and I see that now. She's Tori Vega of course she won't give up it's in her nature to be a natural fighter even for a lost cause like me.

I suppose that's why we became friends in the first place because she fought back, she pushed. She took the fall for me once when we were five and now she's taken the fall for me again. It's funny how history sometimes repeats itself, but whether it does or not history _stays _in the past. It's nothing more but memories.

"I should get going," I say without emotion and do the second thing I do best. Walk away from the people that I love. I leave Tori in the parking lot heading in the direction of the big entrance where the gates of Hollywood Arts are drawn back to let cars pass in and out. Soon enough I find myself in my mom's old car, key in the ignition, hesitant on starting it and taking off. Eventually after taking what feels like an eternity I turn on the car, but I don't drive away. I'm quiet, hands frozen on the steering wheel contemplating how Vega will get home.

She probably has a ride right? "Yeah West just leave her already and drive the hell away," I say to myself aloud. Even though I tell myself this I can't find it in me to leave her behind. So what do I do? I wait and turn off my lights leaving the engine on, but not putting it in drive. I wait ten, fifteen minutes tops listening to the sound of some the occasional passing cars until finally Vega appears out of the gate entrance.

She turns to her right and continues walking. Are you kidding me! She's walking home at night, alone! What the hell where are her parents! Where is her annoying pain in the ass of a sister Trina! I groan loudly, "Don't do it West you're going to regret this."

Maybe Trina is about to show up any minute now and just asked Tori to walk a little? Yeah right who am I kidding? Fuck it I'm just giving her a ride. I turn on my lights and put the car in drive moving in Vega's direction.

I catch up to her in no time. Tori turns to look at my mom's old faded red slowing car. She furrows her brows a panicked looked on her face. Idiot probably thinks I'm some strange perv about to offer her a ride home.

I roll down the passenger side window so she can see beyond the tinted glass. She freezes, "Jade?"

I press down on the brakes. "Get in Vega," I order her rather than ask politely if she wants me to take her home.

She scrunches her brows further, her brown eyes questioning. "Why?"

I know what she is thinking all of a sudden we're laughing, then the next minute I turn all cold on her, and now here I am trying to be nice to her again. It's probably really confusing for her, but whatever I can fix that.

I roll my eyes faking annoyance. I still have to keep up with appearances and that will make her think I'm just doing this out of guilt rather than concern. "Just get in before I change my mind."

Her hand grabs the rusted old door handle of the car and she climbs in settling herself in the passenger seat. When she buckles herself I start to drive off. We're quiet for some time until Vega breaks the silence. "I live in Grand Oaks by the way. Do you know where that is?"

I come to a stop at a red light and turn my attention to her. Her face is illuminated by the red traffic lights. "Yeah I know where that is."

"Sooo," she drags out nervously.

I notice the light turn green from the corner of my eye and take off focusing on the road in front of me. I wait for her to continue but she doesn't. I sigh loudly, "So what?"

"I'm sorry she," she responds.

"You were about to ask me something weren't you?"

"Yeah um- why are you giving me a ride?"

I don't hesitate to answer knowing that will only show her I'm unsure of it myself. "Because you were walking," I answer simply.

"Yeah but you didn't have to I mean-."

"Vega me giving you a ride is my way of making things even between us. Got it?"

All the time she's been talking I've felt her eyes on me. "Oh," she utters and no longer speaks.

I come to another red light and focus on her. "Why didn't Trina or your parents come pick you up?"

"Cause my parents are still working and _Trina_ is busy with her friends."

I speed away briefly glancing at her with an unconvinced expression. "_The thing has friends_?"

Tori chuckles, "Believe it or not I think she does. I found it strange too. Guess some people can tolerate her."

"I find that unimaginable," I retort.

I don't have to look at Vega to know she is sporting a smile. "You never did get over her breaking your scissors did you." She doesn't really ask, but rather states it.

"Nope," I pop the p. "I hold grudges."

I glance at her as she nods her head. "I've noticed Jade."

I turn left. "What's that supposed to mean Vega," I question her calmly. I brake at a stop sign and take a look at her. She bites her lip, "Well we did have history together."

"Are you implying you know me?"

"No I _knew _you...but you've made it very clear to me that I no longer do. Thing is some things never change Jade."

I nod my head in some sort of mutual understanding because I get it. I know what Vega is hinting at, but I'm not going to explode about it. She did know me better than anyone way before I met Beck, before I met Cat, Andre, Robbie, and- Kate."

Tori is becoming aware of the new me, the girl who has a million defenses up. Yet she still can look at me and figure out the parts of me that haven't changed. _That scares me._

I drive straight ahead checking the streets to make sure the way is clear. My mind on alert to make sure I don't let my facade slip.

"Jade- umm I think you've gone the wrong way. Don't you take another left turn to head in the direction of Grand Oaks?"

I peer at her taking in her puzzled face."Relax Vega I know what I'm doing. I'm taking a shortcut through the desert it's faster this way."

Her eyes pop, "The desert! Jade! We're going to get killed!"

I roll my eyes at her cautiousness as I focus back on the road. "Yeah well we can get killed in a car accident on the freeway too."

She squeals her voice raising an octave. "Not helping!"

My grip tightens on the wheel my own agitation boiling higher."Jeez just cause its dark doesn't mean we are going to get eaten by coyotes in the desert Vega! We're only going to pass through and then it'll be over!"

"Yeah but-."

I cut her off curtly before she begins to rant on about the many things that could go wrong. "I know my way Vega!" She flinches and immediately falls quiet from my sharp voice. Tori probably doesn't think I saw her reaction, but I did from the corner of my eye. I startled her and it makes me feel bad inside. My hold on the steering wheel tightens even more than before and I can feel my knuckles turning white. Why is she making me feel _so _guilty? "I always take this shortcut to make it to school and back. Plus, Grand Oaks isn't too far from the neighborhood I live at," I finish saying softer than before.

Tori doesn't say anything so I look over to her. Her features are calmer, but I can still see the trace of panic in her eyes. Why is it that all she has to do is look afraid, broken in some way and all I want to do is protect her?

I sigh looking back ahead of me. "Vega you got in the car with me...that means you trust me. So let me take you home." I'm aware that this is wrong on my part. I'm not trying to give her mixed signals about where I stand with her- it's just hard. Hard to really make myself believe I hate her and want nothing to do with her.

I hear her exhale and from the corner of my eye I can see her body relaxing back into the passenger seat. She knows I'm right. "Okay Jade, fine we'll do it your way," Vega responds to me her composure fully restored.

Silence engulfs the car as I keep driving straight passing the "Now Entering Shadow Creek Desert" sign. To get rid of some of the quiet between us I turn up the radio. The sound of The XX comes through the speakers of my mother's old car stereo.

**We bide our time  
>Though the time is fine<br>Oh to be there, I could be there  
>Say you'll be there<strong>

I sneak a glance at Vega holding my gaze longer than the other times I've looked at her. She's looking out the window her arm leaning on the door, her chin resting on her palm. She seems lost deep in thought about something and for a brief second I begin to wonder if her thoughts consist of me.**  
>You know the way, I<br>Can't resist you, I  
>Said to myself I'll try<strong>

I shake myself out of my own thoughts knowing well enough how dangerous it is to let my mind wander off to the past. I look back at the road taking in the dry sandy landscape and the small illumination of the glowing pale moon; my headlights barely lighting the dark barren desert that I've never fully encountered during nightfall.

**Why do we waste time  
>Hiding it inside?<br>I want you to be mine**

Letting myself think about the old us makes my heart hurt in different ways, but...it also makes me remember those were moments that I once loved. I can feel _that feeling _again, the one that's been gnawing at me since she came to Hollywood Arts. My eyes stray from the road and back onto Tori. She's still in the same position as before watching the night pass her by while I'm watching my chances slip away. I don't want to make myself vulnerable to her, but maybe I could try something different this time.

**Now it's dead and gone  
>You say what you would've done<br>You would've been there,  
>I wish you'd been there,<strong>

**I needed you there**

Suddenly she shifts turning to look at me now. Our eyes meet magnetically like they always have, and in that moment I can feel a pull between us. A literal pull that makes my heart flutter fast like a small humming bird's wings.

**And if we try once more  
>Would you give me it all?<br>I won't believe it,  
>'Til I can feel it<br>Can you feel it?**

Her eyes seem to shine in the darkness of the car and her face doesn't hold the usual plastered smile that everyone else gets around Hollywood Arts. I can see hidden pain, fear, insecurity, and even longing etched over Vega's features. I can see her, _the real her_. The broken Tori Vega that I'm sure she hasn't let anyone else catch sight of.

**You know the way, I  
>Can't resist you, I<br>Said to myself I'll try**

I force myself to draw away from those tear shimmering coffee brown eyes. Wondering who Tori Vega became when I left because the girl I caught a glimpse of just now _wasn't _the Tori Vega I knew then. Before my mind can dig a hole of endless questions, my ears catch onto the sputtering of the old car.

"Shit not now," I gently begin to brake bringing the car to a steady stop.

"What's wrong?"

I calmly turn off the ignition not even bothering to look at Tori I know she's about to spaz out on me after I say this. "Let's just say we might be stuck here."

"What! Stuck here! No- we c_an't _be stuck in the middle of the desert!"

"Shut up Vega! Jesus you freak out easily. Look I said _might _not that we are."

"Jade its pitch black outside! I can barely see you in what _little _light we have!"

I turn to her and protrude out my bottom lip. "Aww is poor little Tori Vega afraid of the dark," I mock her in a baby voice.

"I am not afraid!"

Laughter escapes me as old memories conjure up. "Yeah sure you're not. You only slept with a night light till you were twelve."

"Twelve is a perfectly reasonable age to sleep with a night light!" I laugh at her anxiety as she stares at me with narrowed eyes. "I'm glad you find _our _current predicament so humorous."

"I don't...it's just what's your excuse for _still _sleeping with a night light now?"

She pouts and crosses her arms, the moonlight streaming in through the window lighting her face. "Shut up."

I smirk satisfied with her displeasure. "Only if you calm your tits Vega and let me check to see if we are _actually _stuck here." Tori gasps and I roll my eyes. "_It's_ an expression."

"Oh. Yeah I knew that," she tries to play it off.

I scoff, "Surrre. Now be quiet so I can try turning on this dinosaur." I turn the key that's still in the ignition praying that this piece of shit that my mom calls a car turns on. It sputters and dies quickly. I grind my teeth together and try again getting the same reaction. Over and over the car wheezes in failed attempts to come back to life. I finally give up and take out the key letting it clang against the other keys, my back hitting the worn leather seat in defeat.

I stay quiet for about a few seconds and then turn my head to the right. Tori is silent and unmoving her expression surprisingly smooth. "We're stuck aren't we?"

I nod, "_You _have no idea."

She furrows her brows, "What do you mean?"

"Check your phone."

She pulls out her Pearphone the screen shining our inner surroundings. "No signal," Tori visibly gulps.

"Yup, and my phone is-." I grab my Pearphone from the small little compartment I usually place it at. "_Dead_." I toss it back onto the compartment. "Perfect."

Tori's mouth is hanging open by the time I finish speaking."So- you're saying that we're basically stuck out here with no service!"

"Not at least until we pass Shadow Creek Park," I reply back casually.

"And how far is that from here!"

I shrug my shoulders, "I don't know Vega a couple miles maybe?"

"Miles! Oh. My. God. We're going to die out here and get eaten by a vultures and coyotes," she exclaims over dramatically "And, we're going to miss graduation," Tori adds on as an afterthought.

I roll my eyes and shoot her a skeptical look, "Really Vega graduation? We're barely sophomores and that's what you're worried about missing."

"Well we're never going to make it to senior year Jade! This is all your fault!"

I laugh humorlessly. "First of all quit being so over dramatic. We aren't going to die out here. Secondly, my fault! Please Vega enlighten me on how this is _my _entire fault?"

"Because Jade you decide to go through the desert! Not only that if you hadn't faked your black eye I wouldn't have gotten detention and we both wouldn't be here right now!" She tries to run her hand through her hair, but fails forgetting it's in a messy ponytail. She groans and releases her long hazelnut hair from her ponytail out of frustration. Her hair falls out in messy waves, but only part of her hair is covering her shoulder and stopping at her breast. The rest of her hair is behind her back and her bare shoulder remains exposed as before when we were in the Black Box.

I unconsciously lick my lips not even realizing I'm staring at her. "If we had gotten on the freeway and the car had broken down _there_ I'm sure someone would have helped us out eventually." I stay muted my stare still lingering downwards where my eyes shouldn't be gawking. I can see her nipples peaking through the fabric of her light long sleeve white tee and black undershirt. My palms begin to sweat and I run them down my black denim covered thighs. My head is spinning on the fact that she's not wearing a bra underneath her clothes right now, and I can feel my body heating up even inside the increasingly growing cold car.

"Jade?" I blink rapidly my eyes shooting back up to her face. She's staring at me with scrunched eyebrows since I haven't yet responded with any objection. I feel my face heat and I open my mouth, and clamp it shut again unsure of what to say. I'm not stunned by her words, but more stunned by my actions.

I've _never _fully looked at a girl like this before. Even with Kate I've only admired her physical good looks and found myself attracted to her. Yet I've _never _found myself lustful- so full of desire to just touch someone like I want to touch Tori right now.

I clear my throat trying to refrain my hands from reaching out to touch her in _anyway._ "Yeah umm...you're right."

"I am," she asks unconvinced.

I nod my head vigorously and burn through my words speedily, "Normally I wouldn't say so, but I really can't disagree with you on that. You've made your point Vega."

She cocks her head to the side watching me with observant dilated eyes. I don't move my gaze away. Doing so will make me look more guilty about being caught in the act. A few minutes pass between us, neither one of us bothering to be vocal. I cross my arms and arch my pierced brow putting my Hollywood Arts acting skills to use. "What the hell are you staring at Vega," I speak with definite venom in my voice.

Tori's eyes grow slightly huge and she straightens up startled. I knew she would react that way, after all making it seem like I'm pissed about _her _staring at _me _will draw attention away from my slip up, and she'll dismiss my actions because she doesn't want to offend me. Always has to be the people pleaser.

"Sorry," she utters timidly, biting her lip nervously, and bowing her head to avoid my intensive scowl.

I purse my lips feeling myself heating up again, my agitation increasing. I can't remain sitting in the front of the car anymore. I'll end up doing something I shouldn't, and I Jade West _cannot_ _seduce_ _innocent Tori Vega._

I'm probably just running on hormones that's all. As long as I keep my hands to myself and put some distance in between us I'll be alright. I sigh and run a hand through my hair. "I'm going to sleep."

Tori's head picks back up, "Sleep? Jade we're in the middle of the desert and you want to _sleep_?"

"Yes Vega I do. I'm tired, and unless you've got a better idea I don't see why I shouldn't."

"You can't sleep. We're stuck out here," she repeats clearly alarmed that we are stranded. "What are we going to do? Shouldn't we plan something? How can you be so calm about this," Tori rattles on question after question making me feel more worked up than I already am.

I rub my hands over my face in defeat. "That's just it Vega, we _can't _do anything. For now we have to stay stuck here, at least till morning."

"Then what?"

"Then..." I slap my hands down on my thighs. "I don't know we'll figure something out in the morning. No sense for us to work our brains to death trying to escape when there is no way out of this."

She slams the back of her head against the head rest and lets out a plaintive moan. "I can't believe this is actually happening. My parents aren't even going to notice I'm missing because they'll think _Trina _picked me up _like _she should have. Stupid Trina."

I unbuckle my belt realizing I've had it on all this time and begin to maneuver my way to the backseat. I chuckle at how upset she is with her sister for standing her up. I have one leg placed firmly on the back side of the car now. "Don't worry Vega..." I bend my head to avoid hitting the small lights on the roof of the car. "Your dad's a cop...I'm sure he'll find your body out here in the desert somewhere," I finish as I flop down on the backseat my back colliding with the cold black worn leather.

I hear the click of her belt unbuckle and she adjusts her body to glare back at me. "Jade, that's not funny!"

I smirk and cross my arms playfully egging her on with the tilt of my head and raised pierced brow. "I think it's a little bit funny. Just think you'd be known as that missing girl from Hollywood Arts."

She raises a brow of her own challenging me. "And what about you, you'd be missing too," she points out.

I keep my smirk in place. If messing with Vega like this keeps my mind off her in other ways then I'll gladly get under her skin. "No I wouldn't. I would find my way back and leave you all out here_ alone_."

Her sharp glare softens into distrust. "You wouldn't dare."

My smirk grows wider, "Oh yes I would, and I wouldn't tell anyone I was the last person to see you alive."

"There is always Derek! He would turn you in and say you helped me sneak out," Tori counters triumphantly.

"You're right, but I'd take care of Derek," I suggest evilly as I pull out my red handled scissors from my boot snipping them open and closed repeatedly.

Tori's eyes enlarge and her expression tells me I'm getting her a little too scared. I laugh at her fear and continue on stuffing my scissors back into my boot. "Maybe this was the plan all along Vega. To get you to get into my car so I can bury you out here in the desert...and trust me I carry a shovel."

She rolls her eyes and huffs out in skepticism, "Stop being such a psycho and go to sleep already."

I bite my lip and nod my head twice, "You don't believe me, do you?"

This time she smirks at me thinking she's got the upper hand. "Not for a second Jade."

I shrug my shoulders and slide closer to the seat behind the driver's side to get better access to the empty space next to me I pull open the worn black leather seat to reach in and grab the old shovel in the trunk. As soon as she sees the old front of the shovel Tori's mouth drops and her brown eyes become terrified orbs.

I'm about to bust out laughing, but stop immediately when she turns away from me, her hand quickly reaching for the car door handle. She's taking my actions way too literal! I'm **not **going to murder her! On instinct I throw myself at her dropping the shovel and hear it clang against the car. I enclose my arms around her stomach as Tori tries to fight me off, twisting and squirming. My hold only tightens around her midsection as I begin to yank her out of the passenger side and towards the backseat.

She wrestles with me trying her best to break away. Her shirt rides up and my hands touch the sides of her hot tan skin my body instantly reacting to the contact. There is heat between my legs when her back meets my chest and her hands automatically delve into my hair. She tugs hard and I bite down on my lip suppressing a moan from escaping.

My arms are still closed around her midriff, but my cool fingers drift up her sides getting higher. I'm not sure if I did it intentionally or my hands just skimmed upwards because of the struggle, but either way the gasp that escapes her mouth makes me bite down harder on my lower lip. Tori stops wriggling and falls onto my lap laying defeated against me, the both of us panting out of breath.

The rest doesn't last long though as I feel Tori's body tense up about to go for a round two. I whisper into her ear, "Don't." She stays tense and I can feel a shiver go down her spine. "I'm not going to murder you Vega. I just wanted to scare you."

"Consider me scared," she breathes out.

I chuckle and rest my head on her bare shoulder, Tori's body instantaneously relaxing into me. The both of us don't move, we don't speak, and for a while we remain in this position. My arms around her, my fingers on her burning exposed skin, and her hands tangled in my long hair.

I want to keep her close to me, but my rationality kicks in telling me I shouldn't want _this_...I shouldn't want Tori. I lift my head from her shoulder and relinquish her from my grasp her hands disentangling from my hair as she shifts on my lap to look at me. Tori smiles bashfully, "I guess I should let you get some rest...now that I know you aren't going to _actually _murder me."

I grin and nod my head, "Yeah I scared you good didn't I Vega."

She laughs and starts to maneuver her way back to the passenger side. She plops down on the seat, "Wouldn't be the first time." My grin spreads into a smile remembering those moments when we were younger. "Good night Jade."

"Night Vega." I put back the shovel in the trunk and close the backseat, my smile slipping away. I don't know what's wrong with me. I _can't_ be feeling anything; I _shouldn't_ be feeling anything... especially for Tori. This was the problem before...and I just can't let this happen again.

I lay on my side facing away from the front not wanting to look at Vega anymore. I close my eyes pushing away all these mixed feelings. I remind myself that Beck is the one I should have these strong feelings for...not Kate, and most certainly not Tori.

* * *

><p><strong>Hours later<strong>

My eyes crack open slightly as a boom shakes the car. What the hell? I'm too groggy to understand what's going on right now, but I hear a whimper coming somewhere from behind me. I shiver feeling goose bumps rising on my skin; it's so cold in here. I sit up; my head spinning as another boom rattles the car like a small toy.

My hands reflexively stretch out in search for something to hold onto as the car continues to vibrate. I touch nothing but freezing black worn leather my body rocking along with the car. The car stills only momentarily until bright to white purple light blinds my eyes, and I shut them closed. The ear splitting sound of thunder following along with a shriek that snaps me back to my senses.

Tori! I open my eyes without further delay and turn my body to face the passenger side. She's huddled into a small ball like a baby in fetal position except her arms are wrapped around her head and her body is horribly shaking. I don't know what to say, but the flash of white purple lighting draws my eyes to the car windshield. _Shit this really doesn't look good._

The car violently jolts as the deathly roar makes Tori cry out again, my eyes quickly returning to see her shuddering worse than before. _She's_ _astrophobic_; I remember the memory of a younger Vega flooding my mind. I can't stand to see her so broken, so fearful...so helpless. I gently reach out and place my hands on her arms Tori's body feeling abnormally cold under my touch.

"Jesus, Tori," I utter in shock. I unwrap her stiff arms the storm still attacking the desert as I start to pull her by her torso in my direction carefully. She falls right into me without any hesitation, her body trembling harshly from the raging thunderstorm.

I protectively secure her in my arms as she curls further into me like a small scared five year old. "It's okay...it's okay Tori. The storms going to pass...just give it some time," I softly coo into her hazelnut messy hair. Her face is against my chest, her arms interlocked around my neck extremely tight, and her legs slanted, but drawn close to herself.

Something wet hits my chest and slides down. I pull back a little, away from Tori's hair to look down and scan her tear stained face. "It's okay Tori, I'm here," I whisper in attempt to comfort her.

Her tear filled brown eyes dart to mine, and she looks at me almost as if she were barely registering the fact that she isn't alone...that _I _out of all people am trying to calm her down. Someone who has given her plenty of reasons to hate her back yet she won't. I've been acting like I truly hate her close to a month now, but this little moment right now fully contradicts my previous actions.

"I'm- I'm so- so sc-ared Jade," she spills out between chattering teeth.

I rub my hand on her back, "I know, I know...but you're safe with me okay?"

Tori nods and hides her face away into my neck at the sudden flash of lighting that strikes the ground so visibly outside. I become mesmerized for a brief second upon seeing the lightning beat the sandy ground up close. She jumps at the sound of the thunder echoing and the quaking that follows along.

"Tori calm down," I grab her face between my hands making sure she looks me directly in the eyes. "We're going to be fine." I wipe the clear streaming tears from her perfectly framed cheek bones, the pads of my thumb caressing her cold skin. "Here take my flannel shirt it should warm you up," I offer letting go of her face and proceeding to take off my earthy tone plaid flannel.

She wrinkles her brows her hands no longer around my neck, "But then you'll be cold?"

"No I won't ," I say as I finish taking off my neutral toned flannel my shoulders now bare leaving me only in my auburn red sleeveless blouse. "Can't even feel it."

She smiles, "You lie."

I shrug my shoulders in a whatever manner, "I'm not lying."

Tori nibbles on her bottom lip. She strokes a finger down my upper arm making more goose bumps rise onto my skin than before, "Your body says otherwise."

I roll my eyes and drape my shirt over her. "Shut it Vega and just put it on. I'm not going to get frostbite in a desert."

She laughs and starts to insert her arms into my shirt. I watch her as she finishes covering her flimsy graphic white long sleeve. Tori wraps my flannel shirt closer to her body sighing with her eyes now closed, "It's so warm."

I laugh lightly liking the way she looks in my clothes a little too much. "It's supposed to be Tori. It's flannel."

She opens her eyes and smiles widely completely distracted from the storm outside. She hasn't even noticed the passing thunder and lightning that has been ferociously bashing the desolate terrain.

Her eyes light up and she holds me captive in her gaze. "You called me Tori." We both pause our eyes glued to each other. Tori's smile broadens when I don't object or try to cover up my mistake."You've been calling me Tori for a while now," she points out poking my shoulder with a smug expression.

"Don't get too touched _Vega_," I emphasize her last name to show that it won't happen often. "I've only been calling you by your first name to calm you down. You know since you are acting like a big baby."

She swats at my shoulder, "I am not a big baby!"

I quirk my pierced brow a skeptical expression in place from her crossed arms and pout. "Hmm... says the fifteen year old girl still afraid of thunderstorms and a bit of lightning."

"Hey! That's not fair! We could get struck by lightning out here!"

I shake my head in disagreement, "Vega the odds could be 1 in a million or seven hundred thousand or whatever ridiculous number weather reports have come up with."

An intensely bright bolt of lightning promptly strikes as if on cue to scare Tori. She squeals and throws her arms around me concealing herself against my neck, the car shaking way worse than the previous times. "Yeah considering we're super close I say those odds are pretty high," she mutters her balmy breath brushing against my cool skin.

I smirk at Tori's reaction trying to focus on the light mist of rain falling outside rather than on my speeded up pulse. Why is it that I really don't mind being stuck out here with Vega? I want to be bothered by it; upset in some way, but all I feel...is a sense of liberation. Like feeling the way I feel isn't wrong...it's right and no one can say anything about it. "Well let's not pay attention to the odds stacked against us...how about we just sleep our worries away till the sun rises," I suggest to get her mind off the storm once more.

She pulls away from my neck to look at me. Tori nods the brightness from her eyes slightly dimmer. "Yeah um...sure."

She's about to climb off my lap when I tug on her arm to keep her from leaving. "I wasn't going to make you go back to the front."

She tilts her head curiously, her hazelnut wavy tresses falling onto her chest. "You weren't?"

"No. You can sleep with me," I smile sympathetically for about a second until I realize the double connotation I just said. I panic a little my eyes growing large in embarrassment as my cheeks flush. "Not ah- not like that...I just meant- umm."

Tori giggles, "I know what you meant...and thanks. I know that under other circumstances you wouldn't do this."

"Yup don't mention it. No seriously don't mention this to _anyone_ Vega."

Tori nods, "I won't. You can trust me Jade."

**Two Hours Later**

"Jade?"

I open my eyes slowly at the sound of Tori's restless voice. "What's wrong," I ask her in a hushed voice still full of sleep.

"I don't think I can sleep," she whispers back.

"The storms still going," I ask her but my question is answered by the thunder.

She inches closer closing the very minimal distance we have left between us. The only barrier now is my hand that's close to my face and hers acting as a line to not cross. Lightning strikes and the white light shortly washes over her face, setting off the sparks that make me raise my head to cross over that invisible line I had set myself.

I don't think about what I'm doing as I lean in and my lips land on her forehead in a quick kiss. I retract hastily and lay back down in my former position looking at the roof of the car to avoid her eyes. _Shit what was that? Why the hell did I just kiss her?_

I can feel my heartbeat pounding in my ears and through my veins widely, my thought process stops when soft lips graze the palm of my hand. I turn my head automatically and an electrical current passes through my body as our eyes meet. I can feel it...the magnetic pull between us closing.

It's like a shock to my system when Tori's lips brush against mine, my eyes closing in a pleasure I want more of. I react without hesitation and kiss her back. Our kiss is soft and testing, but soon becoming heated and our emotions becoming uncontrolled.

She places her hand on the back of my head securing me from moving away, and I don't try to instead I let myself get lost further into the kiss...I get lost further in her. My hand runs down her rib cage and stops at her thigh. I squeeze and caress her jean covered thigh wishing I could feel her hidden tan skin.

Tori breaks the kiss gasping for air and I take that moment to move in on her neck. I kiss her pulse point and bite down gently on her skin still working her thigh all at the same time. She moans and surprises me when she straddles my waist. I raise myself up on my elbows looking intently into her eyes before our lips collide again in another frantic kiss.

Tori delves her hands into my hair as I place my hands on her waist searching beneath the layers of clothing she's wearing for her hot skin. My hands find her black undershirt soon enough, and I slip below it running my cool digits over her navel. She moans into my mouth and thrusts involuntarily against my sex. I break the kiss and bite down on my lip holding back my sound of pleasure.

My hands remain running on the planes of her smooth stomach as she starts to kiss my jaw and down my neck. I incline my head to give her better access and she takes it biting down hard on my throbbing pulse point. I hiss at the unexpected rough action my breathing becoming heavier.

Tori sucks on my skin and bites down hard again successfully drawing out a cry from my lips. She kisses my pained flesh twice tenderly and moves back to face me. Her brown eyes filled with fervor as she licks her lips staring at mine own. I attach myself to her in another drugging kiss and bite down on her bottom lip making her mewl and open her mouth further.

I take her velvety wet lower lip between both of my own and suck. Tori thrusts eagerly against my growing wet sex as both my hands roam upwards towards her breasts. Her breath hitches and I release her bottom lip with a small pop when my hands palm her soft flesh.

She moans loudly when I run my thumbs over her erect nipples. Kissing me hard and continuing her sensual sounds as I massage her supple breasts. Tori grabs my forearms and rubs harder on the front of my jeans creating an unbearable ecstasy between my damp legs.

I want more of her, but don't get enough when she starts to put a strain on my arms. I stop suddenly realizing she's been pulling on my forearms trying to move away my hands from her breasts. We break the kiss simultaneously and stare at one another. I can see a sense of remorse in her coffee brown eyes. She regrets this doesn't she?

I retract my hands from under her shirt and she moves off my waist backing herself away from me. Tori's put a distance between us her on one side of the backseat and me on the other. We're divided once more caught in a storm, in the middle of a desert, and that invisible line returns. The one I wanted to keep, but that I distorted. My heart is still pulsating, but with raw displeasure. The ghost of her lips still stinging against me.

I gaze at her, she's huddled and holding herself clearly scared of me. I _shouldn't _have gone through with this. This is a transgression I can't take back...that I had been trying to go against since that night at the slumber party. It's all come rushing back...and now all I can do is stare at the pain I've caused Tori. I've hurt her, violated her, and for that I'm truly sorry. I hold back the tears that want to escape my eyes and move to make my way up to the driver's seat to leave her by herself.

Once I'm up front I close my eyes wrapping my own arms around myself severely attempting to hold in the waterworks. I hate crying, but a silent tear manages to slide down my face when I open my eyes to take a look at the storm outside. _This _was all wrong...I'll never confess to my heart what it felt. Instead I'll lie to it, deny it, and conceive it to believe what I need it to...that's the right thing to do.

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><p><strong>I think you guys can see why I was so nervous now. I didn't know if maybe this was too early for Jade and Tori, but I felt that the last chapter was going to build up to this intense scene that both of them don't fully understand yet. <strong>

**So let me know if you loved it or not. Your feedback always gets me thinking and I love who ever is willing to stick with me even though I don't update super fast. If your still here thanks for not giving up on this story. It truly mean a lot. **


	23. AN 2

So I know this isn't really an update, an update on my status but not on the story. Sorry everyone. I just wanted to reassure those of you who have been thinking I abandoned this story that I haven't. I'm still very much dedicated too it, but like I said my updating is basically all over the place since things always come up.

For now I just want to thank those who decided to stick with me! Thank you all for the positive words! They fueled my fire! First I want to thank the people who left reviews you are all so very wonderful,_ "Disastertology, TimelessReader, chase19, Wolfbreed21, Eliley, Elimere, theonethatisme, Jakarie, AwkwardlyConfused, and last but not least Guest._

Yes I read your reviews Guest (whoever you are that I can't Private Message) I'm sorry that you've been panicking, but I wanted to calm you down so I wrote this for you. Hope you can forgive the long waits and you continue to stick around.

Story Followers: TimelessReader, dreamergirl67, chase19, bessiej, Innocence is Beautiful, emigirl108, Sachikox Yumi, dicenslice, AwkwardlyConfused, and Ihowe456

Story Favorites: Radachu, theonethatisme, AwkwardlyConfused

In case I left anybody out, thank you! I'm working on the next chapter if that eases anyone's mind. Until sometime in the distant future hope everyone has a good spring break!

-Vintagegirl24


	24. Change of Plans

**As always its been awhile (or a long one) , but I'm hoping you guys haven't been feeling too miserable in all the waiting. It took me sometime to actually come up with this new chapter. I just wanted to take my time until I was sure this was the direction I wanted to push the story in. **

**I also want to thank everyone again who reviewed the last chapter. You guys were so encouraging and that's why I'm still here.**

**I will NEVER own Victorious. I'm sad the show got canceled, but what can you do. :'( **

**Anyways hope you enjoy! **

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><p><strong>Chapter 22<strong>

**Jade's Diary Entry**

**January the Night before School Starts Again**

Dear Diary,

It's 3:12 a.m. and I can't fall back asleep. I keep having the same dream every night and waking up at the same time, the morning sun too tired to even start the day yet. That's how I feel exhausted. It's a constant struggle to take my mind off that December Friday night. I try hard not to remember those cold silent dark hours, but effortlessly it floods into my subconscious mind taking over every part of me.

Images of her lips ghosting over my skin play on repeat as I can feel every touch and caress of desire overtake my body, the first brush of our lips, her hands tangling in my hair, her flush body against my hands, the uncontrolled moans slipping from her fervent mouth. It's all too much, and sometimes I catch myself placing my fingers on my lips running my cool digits over my mouth missing the contact of her kiss. The kiss that's been keeping me up this late reassessing the silent oath I made to myself that night in the car.

_**This **__**was all wrong...I'll never confess to my heart what it felt. Instead I'll lie to it, deny it, and conceive it to believe what I need it to...that's the right thing to do.**_

Is it really the right thing to do? To stay away and pretend it- we never happened? It's been close to a month now, the Christmas holiday break ending...and I don't think I can keep doing this anymore. I can't lie to myself like I want to. She's a part of me now. No, she always has been and that's why I have talk to her. I need to know if she feels the same way I do...if she helplessly can't fight her heart too.

I _need _to know if Tori is strong enough to deny us.

-Jade

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><p><strong>Jade's POV<strong>

**9:00 A.M. After Sikowitz's Class **

I walk through the double doors of the Asphalt Cafe entrance right into school as the bell to first period rings. Well fuck not exactly a good way to start off my first day back. I just had to spend those extra ten minutes getting a Starbucks coffee, but let's face it if I hadn't I wouldn't even be able to stand functionally right now.

All well it was just Sikowitz's class, I'm sure that hippie didn't teach anything valuable today since it's the first day back from the break. He was probably just sipping coconuts throughout the whole period telling people about their futures since he claims they give him "visions." The man's an absolute nut and yet I admire that about him even if he does irk me sometimes.

I remain standing where I am raising the hot venti cup to my lips taking a careful sip of the much needed bitter liquid. Once I lower my cup the temporary silent halls of Hollywood Arts flood with students all exiting from their first class. I look around intently trying to find her slender figure, but come up empty. I move making my way to my locker giving people death glares if they even dare glance in my direction. My eyes roam over across the hall hoping to see a familiar half-latina at her locker, but again I come up with nothing.

Where is she? I take out my Pearphone remembering I need to text Beck to let him know I'm late. I press send and look up spotting Andre across the hall opening his piano locker. I put on my famous mischievous smirk knowing it gets people on edge, all scared of wicked Jade West and stride over to him. "Well well, if it isn't Andre Harris. Long time no see."

The dark skinned musician flinches slightly and turns around. "Oh hey Jade you scared me-."

He stops mid sentence with his mouth dropped open. "Whoa...uh you look-. I uh," he fumbles with his words clearly not expecting to see what he sees. My smirk only increases, is Andre really that flustered around me because of my new look? I arch my stud pierced brow, "I look what Andre?"

He closes his mouth and shakes his head. "Uh nothing...you just look like a new Jade that's all."

I have to suppress my laugh, but I manage giving him my intimidating stare instead. I have to stick to the plan and show people just because I look different doesn't mean I've gotten any nicer. If people don't fear me by now they better start. "Yeah you could say that. So Andre," I drag out his name menacingly almost like a crazy serial killer. I hope I don't make him pee his pants like Robbie would. "Do you happen to know where Vega is at?"

He starts to drum his fingers on his thighs a nervous gesture that shows me I'm getting to him. His silence only lasting for a few seconds, "She was in Sikowitz's class, but after that she kind of lagged behind. Said she had to talk to Sikowitz about something."

"And what on Earth would Vega need to talk to Sikowitz about on the first day back," I question seriously.

He shrugs his shoulders. "Beats me I don't know...Tori has been acting weird since the holiday break."

I narrow my eyes in thought. Could she have been thinking about that night as much as I have? Did it bother her to the point where she couldn't act normal around the others? I know _I _could barely keep up the blasé act in front of Beck those days.

I disrupt my own thoughts remembering that Andre might be staring. I change the subject to stray him away from the suspicious fact that I'm looking for Tori. Me asking about her is like Cat actually being serious for a whole day. It's simply a crazy thing to hear. "So what happened in Sikowitz's?"

"Nothing all he did was babble on about his _visions_," Andre air quotes. "Although, he did say you were going to be late today and by my guess I would say he was right since you just showed up."

I tilt my head, "Huh maybe those coconuts really do make him temporarily psychic."

He shrugs again, "I just think the man is nuts. _Brilliant_ but loony as _Looney Tunes_ gets."

I laugh at his clever remark, "Nice. Yeah that hippie sure is something."

A friendly perfect white smile stretches across his smooth dark face, "Fo sho."

I shake my head good humouredly at Andre and rub his arm. "I have to get to class. See you around Harris."

At that I leave him behind and make my way to my World History class still looking for Vega at any given corner.

* * *

><p><strong>Tori's POV <strong>

**9:00 A.M. The End of Sikowitz class**

The bell rings dismissing the class. Everyone begins to gather their things shuffling out into the halls animatedly excited about being back from the long break. I stay in my seat spaced out, listening to the distant conversation from two girls talking about their vacation in Vermont until Andre's voice pulls me forward. "Hey aren't ya coming Tori?"

I look up at him registering he had been waiting for me to move."What? Uh- No, sorry actually I have to talk to Sikowitz about something." I retrieve my purse off the floor and glance over at the front of the class my eyes making contact with Beck's. He gives me a look saying we need to talk. I divert my gaze back to Andre and smile at him, "I'll catch up with you later."

He shrugs and points his two index fingers at me with his thumbs sticking up, "Ok-ay Tor-ay see you around."

I chuckle at his good mood Andre always being a lighthearted kind of guy. Guess that's why he's my best friend these days. I need someone who can make me smile and laugh, who listens to me if I need to talk about anything. He's great that way so understanding. I just wonder if he would understand why I betrayed _his _best friend...my own friend.

I watch him disappear behind me then turn around to see Beck patiently waiting for me at the front of the class near the doorway. I stand up noticing that he and I are now the only people in the room. Heck not even Sikowitz stuck around, I bet he snuck out through the window before his students even got dismissed and nobody noticed.

"So what was the look for," I ask him once I'm nearer.

"Nothing I just want to know if you've talked to Jade yet."

I shake my head from side to side, "No I haven't. I tried waiting around after we talked you know to see if she would come in before first period started, but uh she didn't show up."

Beck scrunches his eyebrows downward in concentration. "That's weird if she was planning on skipping today she would have called or texted me a day ago."

"Well you know Jade she's a spur of the moment kind of girl. She's probably still sleeping. I'm sure she'll let you know as soon as she wakes," I say with a little laugh. Maybe I'm off the hook? Maybe just maybe I don't have to go through with the deal I made with Beck.

His phone suddenly buzzes loudly in his pants. Beck fetches his Pearphone out of his back pocket. His face lights up with obvious relief, "That's her. She just made it to school said she overslept."

I put on a fake happy expression, "That's great Beck."

He grins, "Huh Sikowitz was right. He said Jade would be late to school. Weird right?"

I nod in agreement, "Yeah pretty strange."

"Well hey listen I'm going to go look for Jade," he motions toward the door. "Plan is still in motion. Just take your time."

My insides feel like breaking as I pretend to be who he thinks I am, his friend who _keeps _lying to him about the truth...about Jade. I can see that he wants to stay with her, but what he doesn't know is that Jade and I...have something. Something I'm trying to put an end to for everyone's sake. I smile such a painful smile to keep in place, but I've had practice. "Okay good luck," I say as Beck grins and walks away.

**Tori's POV**

**During Lunch**

What am I doing? Why am I about to ask Jade if she wants to hang out with me? Right...because I promised Beck I would, that I'd help him plan the perfect night for their anniversary. I should have said no. I can't be around her without feeling...remembering that night in the thunderstorm.

I come to a stop near the corner of the hallway close to the soft drink machines and hold my breath afraid to peak my head out. This is going to be the first time in almost a whole month that I've seen Jade. After that night we avoided each other the whole week before the Christmas break, and I was so thankful that I didn't have to deal with being around her for another two weeks.

However, now I don't have a choice it's back to Hollywood Arts the start of a new year and already my life is about to get complicated. I finally manage to pear around the corner to look at her. My mouth drops open the breath I was holding in quickly leaving me. _Wow_...did she change that much in just two to three weeks.

There she is sitting on the ground legs extended out and crossed, her scissor covered locker right above her. She looks absolutely beautiful her hair no longer autumn brown, but shadow black with electric blue streaks. Jade's dressed in all black as normal only her style has slightly changed. She's wearing a vintage floral dress with black leggings and has on her favorite pair of black charcoal boots, at least I presume.

I'm surprised she hasn't looked up to catch me staring. Must be because she is so enraptured by the book she is reading on her lap. I draw my head back, silently taking in a deep breath. I can do this, right? Or maybe I should back out...tell Beck I just can't.

(Morning Flashback)

"Good morning Tori," Beck greets me with a warm smile at my locker.

I manage a smile back at him, but it feels insincere. Normally I wouldn't mind seeing Beck and being around him, but ever since...well its best not to think about that.

"What up Beck," I mock Andre's usual way of greeting him and come off as a complete dork with my want to be cool hand gestures.

He laughs following my playful cue. "What up Tor-ay is that it's Jade and I's anniversary."

My smile drops slightly the corners of my mouth threatening to fall down completely. "Oh," I mutter dumbly and look away from him to open my locker. "That's great Beck. How long have you been together?"

From the corner of my eye I see him lean against the locker next to mine and cross his arms. "Yeah, officially as of today makes it a year and eight months. We started dating around freshmen year."

I nod, "Sounds like you have to plan something big...almost two years huh."

He nods back his next words tentatively slipping out, "Yeah and that's kind of where I was going to go with this."

I turn my head to look at him arching a brow in question. "Go with what?"

He uncrosses his arms raising one to scratch the back of his neck. "Would you mind helping me out," Beck questions nervously.

My eyes grow wide for a second and my brows shoot up high in surprise. "With your anniversary? Uh, Beck wow...that's kind of a _big_ thing. I mean I don't know if I could even come up with anything-. "

"No, no," he laughs nervously now pulling on the strap of his backpack. "Only as a diversion, you see I need someone to distract Jade till tonight that way I can surprise her. I'm trying to get her to think I actually forgot. Then bam surprise," he finishes with a small smirk on his face.

I nod my head twice in understanding, but then furrow my eyebrows slightly remembering something I probably shouldn't know. "Doesn't Jade hate surprises?"

"Yeah, but she's not going to hate this one." He flashes me a hesitant smile with worried chocolate brown eyes, "So what do you say?"

I knit my brows together, looking away from him and pull out my geometry book placing it in the crook of my arm for support. I reach back remembering to grab my Chem. book adding it on top of my math textbook. I sigh shutting my locker door shut and turn to fully face him. "I don't know Beck. I mean I'm not exactly Jade's favorite person in the world. I'm not even a like-able person for her. She hates me."

He shrugs his backpack higher onto his shoulder. "She doesn't hate you Tori. Jade's just a little brash around you."

"_Brash_? I don't think Jade saying she hates me is impulsive Beck. She's said it a couple times already in the last year including in front of you once or twice."

"She was playing around. She didn't really mean it. I'm sure if you two bond this year Jade and you will become good friends," he tries to persuade.

"_Riiight_ and Trina will be able to actually sing on key," I give him the 'I know better look.'

He sighs defeated and drops his backpack to the ground clapping his hands together in a pray like manner. He starts to get down on his knees and my eyes bug out following his movement downwards. "Come on Tori please?"

"Beck get up! You're causing a scene," I hiss at him quickly before flashing a fake smile at a student passing us by with a weird expression on his face. What has he never seen a person beg before?

"Please Tori? I'm on my knees," he pleads with chocolate brown puppy eyes.

Okay he has to stop this other people are eventually going to come into school and notice this! I run a hand through my hair. "Beck," I whine. "Get up people might get the wrong idea and if Jade sees this she will come after me most likely with one of her pair of scissors," I whisper down at him urgently for some reason. "It's not exactly a good way to start the new year," I add on as an afterthought.

He sighs louder than the last time and stands up leaving his backpack on the ground. Beck looks at me with sad eyes and I can just tell this really does mean a lot to him. After all the fighting he and Jade went through last year I suppose this anniversary could really make up for it. "Can't you ask Cat to do it," I suggest with a sad smile.

He bends down to retrieve his backpack, "I can't ask Cat to do it she'll spill and Jade won't hang out with Robbie." Beck shoots back up slinging his backpack on his shoulder again. "Andre is busy with his grandma." He takes a pause and if he looked sad before the boy practically looks empty now. "You're all I've got Tori," he mumbles deflated.

With that he reels me in and the guilt just keeps building because I can see Beck has high hopes about tonight, about whatever he has planned. "Fine I'll do it," I reluctantly agree.

His jaw slacks open in shock, "You will?" Beck's expression quickly changes from disbelief to upbeat as a big grin graces over his face and I can see a small flicker of hope light his eyes. "Yes! Thank you, thank you!" he utters rapidly pulling me into a tight hug. I groan from the impact of my chin meeting his shoulder. "Sorry. I promise I'll pay you back somehow."

I pull away from his embrace instantly not even returning the hug. I feel bad, but I just can't hug him back. He picks up on my discomfort and lets me go. Beck smiles awkwardly, "Sorry I pulled a Cat on you."

I laugh half- heartedly at his joke, "It's alright."

"I'll definitely make it up to you Tori, swear."

I shake my head and give him a weak smile, my insides twisting horribly at my choice of next words. "Nah don't worry about it. What are friends for."

(End of Flashback)

No I can't back out now. He looked so happy, so excited about being with Jade tonight, about maybe mending things with his girlfriend of almost two years. I shouldn't ruin it for him...even if _this_ hurts me.

I count to three taking another breath to ease my nerves before I confront her. I step out away from the shielding corner and make my way to her across the hall. I stop near her leaving a few feet of space between us. "Hi," I utter timidly down at her.

She quickly looks up at me apparently caught off guard by my presence as her black brows rise in surprise. She closes the black leather book on her lap swiftly stuffing it into her _Gears of War_ messenger bag and stands up placing it onto her shoulder. She's facing me, looking intensely at me and I squirm under her stare. Jade breaks the silence between us. "Vega just the person I wanted to see. You've been avoiding me," she says with a smirk.

I play with the zipper of my light brown leather jacket. "Uh- I wasn't trying to."

Her smirk extends, "You're a bad liar Vega, of course you were." She's right; I've been avoiding her since December and part of this morning. "How did you know I was here?"

"Well you weren't at lunch, so I thought maybe you were somewhere inside the school," I state abashedly now playing with the rings on my fingers.

Jade's smirk turns in toothy grin and she chuckles. "That's funny I was looking for you at lunch too. I guess I missed you right after you left. I came back in here in hopes of running into you."

Her words made my stomach fill with tight knots and all those little knots morphed into a bigger mess from the way she was looking at me. Her emerald green eyes no longer the same color, but a different shade than before. They are more blue-green now. "Oh," I utter stupidly. "Your eyes- They look different. You look... different," I say wordlessly not able to tear my gaze away from her.

Jade's grin falls into a calm smile as she takes a step closer to me. Her voice coming out as soft as my own, "They change." She moves two more steps closer until there is only a minimal space left between us. "See."

I take in how truly stunning Jade's eyes are so full of different colors a mixture of blue, green, and even gray. Her face is so close to mine now that if I just move a little more I can do something that I've been dreaming about. I start to raise my hand wanting to touch her face, but stop myself before I actually do anything I might regret. I think she notices because she takes a step back leaning against a part of her locker. She crosses her arms changing the subject, "So why the sudden face to face?"

I shift my weight to one foot playing with my violin pendant necklace."I was just- I wondered. Umm...would you, like to come over to my-."

"Yes," Jade immediately answers before I get to finish.

"House," I breathe out.

She bounces off her locker standing straight again. "Yes. Yes I would."

I blink multiple times a bit stunned from the eagerness in her tone, the assurance that this is what she really wants."Um, yeah great...say six o' clock?"

She nods, "Mhmm. I'll be there."

I nod back. "_Okay_ well uh- I'm going to go get some lunch," I reply awkwardly.

She nods repeatedly. "Right," she replies sounding uninterested.

I give her a confused expression. "Aren't you coming," I ask motioning a thumb in the direction of where the double doors lead to the Asphalt Cafe.

"Oh," she chuckles catching up to speed as to why I'm still standing here. "No um, I have somewhere to be actually."

A feeble smile plays at my lips, somewhere to be? Where at, and who can she possibly be meeting? "Alright then I'm gonna go now. Bye Jade," I say with a clumsy wave of my hand and walk off feeling unbelievably incompetent. Oh god she probably thinks I'm a total idiot.

"Later Vega," I hear her call back. A smirk that I know for sure is in place on her porcelain face.

* * *

><p><strong>Jade's POV<strong>

**Football Field**

**Calling Kate**

I walk onto the overgrown green grass of the football field searching for a sandy blonde.I doubt she'd be buried within the cluster of the grass, but it's worth a shot I suppose."Kate," I call out to an empty field. A quiet response reaches my ears and the wind picks up as I make it to the center of the field. The temperature is cold today, but I forgot to bring a jacket.

I rub my exposed arms trying to warm myself up in the absence of the sunny L.A. sun hidden somewhere among the muggy gray clouds taking a day off from its usual routine. That's weird Kate's not here either? Earlier I thought I would see her in Hawthorn's class, but she didn't show.

I pull out my black Pearphone listening to the ringing. I'm waiting to hear her husky voice on the other end of the line. Instead I get answered by the automated voicemail. "Hey Kate...I've been wondering where you are. I'm feeling a bit lonely without your company," I smile to myself thinking about some of the days we spent together over the holiday. I shake my head and put a hand to my forehead feeling ridiculous. "Uh- give me a call when you can. Okay? I just want to make sure you're alright."

I tap my phone onto the palm of my hand thinking about where she could be. Work? She has been really busy working since Christmas break...but why do I get the feeling she's not telling me something. The last time I saw her I just knew something was up, but Kate's pretty quiet when she wants to be.

* * *

><p><strong>Tori's POV<strong>

**Talking With Beck at Lunch**

I walk out to the Asphalt Cafe in search of Beck, and I spot him right away sitting alone at table he normally sits with just Jade. He seems to be lost in thought his facial expression serious, eyebrows knitted down, hand fisted and resting against his face.

If I didn't know any better I'd say he doesn't know where Jade is. Did she not tell him she was going somewhere? His serious demeanor soon disappears as he senses my gaze on him. He looks over my way and smiles at me now only a few feet away.

"Hey," I greet him as I sit across from him at the rectangular dark blue table.

"Hey Tori. So did you find her?"

I nod, "Yeah she was inside the school at her locker."

Beck's features tense up his smile dropping slightly as the serious look returns to his face. "Really? Huh I didn't see her when I was inside guess I must have missed her."

I nod again silently. He shakes his head a little drawing himself out of whatever thoughts and insecurities he must be thinking of. "So anyway how'd it go?"

"Surprisingly easy she said yes."

Beck's chocolate eyes grow big, "Wow we are talking about the same Jade right?"

I laugh lightly, "Uh- I don't know. She sure looks different. I'm just as surprised as you are."

He smirks, "Yeah the look is new. I'm still getting used to it myself. Did she ask why you asked her to hang out?"

"No, no she just agreed. Honestly I thought I was going to have to plead or fight her about coming over, but nope. Nothing," I explain to him still bewildered by Jade's actions.

He nods in agreement. "I'm pretty shocked too, but I'm not complaining maybe Jade wants to be friends with you now."

My eyes widen a bit as I feel goose bumps start to rise on my arms even beneath my leather jacket. She can't possibly want to be friends again with me. After all those times she tried to push me away...could she be reconsidering? I try to keep my nerves at bay, but laugh nervously feeling my anxiety increasing. "Yeah let's not go too far."

Beck chuckles at my uneasiness. "Yeah there is no telling with her. Anyways thanks Tori I really appreciate you helping me out."

I cringe internally the guilt rising again and smile externally to the best of my acting abilities. "You're welcome Beck. If you don't mind me asking what do you have planned?"

"I don't mind," he grins. I'm planning on taking her out to the fair near Venice Beach."

"The Wickley Carnival?"

"Yeah Wick's Carnival why you don't think she'll like it," Beck finishes saying and grabs his can of lemonade taking a sip.

"No Wickley's is awesome. Plus, I think she'd really enjoy the haunted house they have their along with the clowns and the huge multiple level fun house. It's pretty much the weird stuff Jade would be into."

"But," he mumbles between a bite of his hoagie.

My stomach grumbles and I realize I forgot to buy my lunch on my way out here. I place my hands on the table and begin to play with my rings. "_But_," I hesitate maybe I should just leave this alone I mean it's Beck's anniversary with Jade and he should do what he thinks is best...right?

It's not any of my business anyway...I just want to help him impress Jade that way they can both be happy with each other again. And maybe just _maybe_ I'd feel less guilty about being such a horrible friend. I shake my head deciding to leave things alone he probably knows what's best. "You know what never mind."

He chuckles. "Tori just tell me. I'm open to opinions. I won't get mad about whatever you have to say," he finishes taking another bite of his sandwich.

I grin weakly. "Okay. Um don't get me wrong the carnival idea is sweet...but more like a good first date idea. Don't you want to plan something more...romantic?"

He stays quiet at first taking a drink of his lemonade, but soon responds back."Jade's not really the romantic type Tori. I mean she doesn't like flowers, boxes of chocolates, candle lit dinners at the beach...she's just not that kind of girl," he claims his point all knowingly as if I don't see that. As if I don't _personally_ know that.

I practically want to roll my eyes at him, but restrain. Of course I know that Beck I'm not oblivious. Anyone with eyes can see Jade wouldn't be the romantic mushy kind of girl. Not to mention I knew her before you did. "I figure that she's not. I just meant maybe doing romance in her way."

He gives me a confused look, "I'm not sure I follow."

"Okay. Think about this is there any place she loves to go to somewhere weird and out of the ordinary. You know something "Jade" like."

He hums in thought. "No, nothing comes to mind. I can't think of-," he stops talking a light bulb moment crossing his facial features. "I might actually have something," he states with a wide grin.

I tilt my head to the side my interest piqued. "That's good what is it?"

"Jade loves to go to this abandoned house that she passes when she goes for walks. Once I was with her and I remember her saying she wanted to move there. Rebuild it and save it."

"Oh sounds like something she'd like," I reply back with a small smile.

"Yeah," Beck grins from ear to ear. "Tori I think you just gave me a brilliant idea.

Now it's my turn to give him a confused look. "Beck I didn't really say anything. I only suggested taking her somewhere special to her."

He nods vigorously. "Exactly. I got the perfect idea."

I know I should be glad that I gave Beck the perfect plan he has in mind, but why am I feeling this sudden dread in the pit of my stomach? Why is it that I don't want him to actually succeed?

* * *

><p><strong>Jade's POV<strong>

**After School at Home**

Damn it why won't she pick up? I toss my phone onto my bed and walk over to the window seat plopping down on the black cushions. My eyes automatically drift to the day outside the weather still looking bleak like a couple hours before. Where is she? Kate hasn't responded to me at all. I've been trying to reach her all day and she can't even find time to at least text me?

Something has to be up. Question is what. The sound of my phone beeping draws my eyes away from the outside and onto my bed. I get up to check the new text message I just received. I crinkle my brows at the unknown number on the screen.

**"Hey I hope you don't mind I asked Cat for your number."**

What the fuck. I swear if Cat gave out my number to some total random perv from school I'm going to cause her pain and not the good kind.

**I reply back with, "Who the fuck are you and what the hell do you want?"**

My phone beeps again. **"I'm sorry! It's me Tori. I should have put that first."**

I chuckle just picturing Vega's face right now. She probably got freaked out by my response. A devil smirk plays upon my lips maybe I should freak her out a little more.

**"Vega huh? How do I know you're not pretending to be someone I know? You could be some creepy pervert from school who wants nude photos of me."**

**"I'm not a creep! I swear it's me! TORI!"**

**I reply back with a simple, "Prove it."**

**"How?"**

Oh Vega this is just too easy. I bite my lip as I text in my next response. **"Send me a nude photo of yourself."**

**"JADE! Stop it!"**

I laugh out loud completely sure right now that she's blushing bright red wherever she may be. **"Relax Vega I'm just pulling your chain. What do you want?"**

**"I just wanted to remind you about tonight. You do know my address right?"**

I bite down hard on my bottom lip flashes of that night flooding my senses. **"Yes Vega. I remember perfectly clear where you live."**

She doesn't reply quickly like before and I just stare at my screen blankly remembering the feel of her soft skin. The taste of her inducing kiss, and I swear the mere thought of touching her again makes my head spin. My legs tremble and I sit down on my bed. I close my eyes steadying myself.

My phone beeps and I open my eyes looking down at the screen. **"Okay good. Um guess I'll see you soon."**

Why did she take two minutes to respond back with just that? Was Tori remembering too? I type in and hit send. **"Can't wait."**

**Jade's POV**

**6:00 P.M. Vega Residence**

I knock on Vega's door my anticipation on high as I wait for her to answer. I cross my arms from the slight breeze outside the wind causing the small crystal chimes to jingle near the doorway.

The sound of footsteps reaching the door makes me hold my breath. The door opens and there she stands before me her coffee brown eyes colliding with my own. My breath finally escapes me, "Hi."

"Hey," she says back with a small smile. "Come in you must be cold," she invites me in stepping aside so that I can walk through.

I nod and enter her house walking into the living room of her new home. I gaze around at my surroundings hearing the door close behind me. This is first time I've stepped foot in her new home one that doesn't hold memories of our childhood together. "So _this_ is Tori Vega's new bachelor pad huh."

She chuckles an honest laugh appearing by my side a few feet away nodding her head up and down. "Yeah, too bad I still live with my parents and diva older sister."

I look around briefly again taking in the piano near the stair case and the many views of the multiple windows behind it before looking back to her. A small smile graces over my face as I _actually _give her a compliment. "It's not a bad deal. Your house is nice." Sure it isn't exactly a big compliment but I can tell by the look on her face I'm freaking her out by not putting her or where she lives down. I'm being nice..._and _that's scary for me too.

"Thank you," she responds politely. "Would you like some coffee? I made some not too long ago it should still be warm."

"Sure."

She walks off to the kitchen as I take off my black leather jacket draping it over the scarlet red couch. I seat myself down near the middle of the couch mostly claiming the left side of it. "How do you like it," I hear Tori ask from the kitchen.

"Black with two sugars."

I drum my fingers on my knee listening to the clanging of spoons against coffee mugs; a sound that I've always found oddly comforting. I don't know how this is going to go, but regardless I have to talk to Vega about _this. _I want to know what she feels, if she feels the same for me as I do for her.

"Here you go," she interrupts my thoughts handing me a dark purple mug of hot coffee that matches the purple sofa pillows. My cool fingers brush lightly over hers and she retracts her hand slowly our small touch creating an awkward silence. She grabs her own dark purple mug from the light wooden coffee table sitting down near the middle like me, but occupying more of the right side of the couch.

I raise the cup to my mouth the bittersweet aroma hitting me before I drink. The warm liquid eases down my throat and my body loosens up slightly. I pull away the hot cup cradling it between my hands the heat defrosting my fingers. I watch the light strokes of steam rising from the dark purple mug.

"Vega...do you remember that night after the Black Box?"

I look up and over at Tori her eyes widening and I know she knows what I'm referring to. She lowers her mug of coffee clenching onto it tightly between her own hands. I continue, "This is hard for me Tori...but we need to talk-."

"No," she utters firmly cutting me off.

"No," I repeat back confused. I'm sure she can see the disbelief on my face by her reaction. I thought out of the two of us she would be the one so eager to talk about this. To settle everything that has been storming between us.

"Jade," she starts but pauses looking away from me and down at her mug. "We can't talk about it."

"Why not," I ask her back just as softly as she spoke. She can't even hold her gaze with me right now, but I want to see her eyes. I want to see if there is any truth behind her words. If not I'll never know what's true or false. "Look at me Tori," I say with solid conviction in my voice.

She does as I tell her and raises her head those beautiful sad coffee brown eyes conveying my worst fears. "I don't want to talk about it Jade."

I stare at her silently taking in her words and accepting the truth because that's what's written in her eyes. She really doesn't want to talk about that night...and there's not much I can do to change her mind. I can feel my sadness boiling over into anger and I _really _want to throw my mug of coffee across the living room right now, but I refrain.

I don't want to scare her away anymore than I obviously have. I grind down on my teeth feeling my jaw muscles tightening. I have to go and get away from her before I lose it. So I make up my mind and stand up setting my cup of coffee down on her table. "I need to go," I say in a monotonous voice without even chancing a glance at her.

I'm almost to the door my arm extended out before I feel my left arm being pulled. I stop in my tracks dropping my right arm the grip on my left wrist burning. "Don't go," she speaks so quietly that I barely hear her. "Please Jade. Stay."

The plea in her voice causes me to turn and face her. The hold she has on my wrist not loosening any.

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't," I reply back my voice steady. I'm angry with her. She invites me over, but for what? So we can sit in awkward silences? No I want the truth she owes me that.

"Because I don't want you to go."

I feel my muscles deflate unconsciously her thumb caressing my wrist. "I don't- I don't understand Vega. You don't want to talk, but you want me to stay?"

Tori's thumb stops smoothing over my skin. She looks away from me and down to the floor her chestnut brown hair falling forward concealing part of her face. "Jade." She doesn't say anymore besides my name and I nod knowing that I did make a mistake that night in the car.

For whatever reason she doesn't want to talk about it, but it all leads to the same conclusion. She doesn't feel the way I do...and I think _this _hurts more than when I lost her all those years back then. I don't- I can't be around her anymore. "Look I really should get going."

I begin to pull away, but once more she doesn't let me leave. "Alright..." I freeze staring at her waiting for her to keep going. "We can talk, but not here. Trina's home," she explains.

"Okay where do you want to go?"

"Um the park...at this hour it should practically be empty." Tori forces a smile and releases my wrist finally walking back over to the scarlet couch and collecting my black leather jacket in her hands. I purse my lips she just faked a smile. She's never done that to me...used the reserved smile that she gives other people who don't really know her. "Here you almost forgot your jacket," Tori hands it to me.

I take it in my hands slipping it back on as she grabs her own light brown leather jacket off the coat rack near the door that I failed to notice earlier. Once she puts on her jacket we leave her home and make our way to my mom's car. I wonder if she's thinking about the last ride I gave her the one that was filled with nothing but dead silence. Both of us too scared to even breathe normally after what happened that night in the thunder storm.

* * *

><p><strong>Tori's POV<strong>

**On The Way to Blackbird Park **

**6:30 P.M.**

The ride inside Jade's car is dead silent, no radio, and no small talk like the last time. The only time I speak is to tell her which park we should go to other than that she knows the way. It feels exactly like the ride home when she dropped me off at my house in the early morning after the thunder storm finally died.

I don't think either one of us slept the rest of that night. All we did was wait for the sun to peak through the sky, and then Jade tried turning on the car. I think she was desperate to get out of there and away from me. I assumed it wouldn't turn on, but sure enough the car sprang to life somewhat wheezing as if it were going to give again.

It made it through though, and so did we. It felt like an eternity that ride in her car. I remained in the back seat too scared to move up front on the passenger side. When we got to my house she pulled into the drive way and all I did was open the door getting out of the back of the car without saying so much as a thank you or a goodbye.

It still seems so recent...and yet so long ago. I avoid looking at her not wanting to stir any feelings between us. I keep my eyes set on the view outside my window on the passing cars, dim yellow lit streetlights, and the windy night outside. We're almost there I can tell and it breaks me knowing why I'm taking her to that park.

Blackbird Park is where Beck and I agreed I would get her to before asking her to take a walk with me down the little neighborhood where the abandoned house she loves still stands. Beck is currently still setting up for the rest of _their_ night. He just texted me and I have fifty five minutes left with Jade before she's his and not mine.

Jade was never mine to begin with anyway. She's with Beck someone who happens to be my friend and a sweet guy. I can't come between them just because I'm attracted to Jade. What kind of person does that make me? I would be doing what Ivy did to me when I was still with Danny. Betraying a friend's trust, breaking some type of code between guys (even though I'm not one it still applies), and the worst one is I'd be _intentionally _hurting Beck without him even knowing. I just- _I can't want Jade._

The car suddenly stops bringing me back to the present and I realize we've made it to the park. I glance over to Jade watching her take the key out of the ignition and unbuckling her belt. I unbuckle my own and we both leave the warmth of the car behind stepping into the harsh windy night; chills already forming down my arms.

We walk in silence passing the 'Welcome to Blackbird Park' sign and I start to make my way towards the playground area. I tend to naturally gravitate to the swings at every park I go to. I think Jade remembers this because she's walking behind me following my lead not protesting. At least I hope she remembers.

I sit down on the swing that's to the left even though it looks pretty old. I begin to rock back and forth slightly the motion soothing. Jade doesn't sit on the other vacant swing instead she stands in front of me a putting a few feet of distance in between us.

She crosses her arms the light of the moon highlighting her pale skin tone. I'm still in awe of how she's changed so much over a couple of weeks. Her hair, eyes, style, everything seems so different about her...and yet there's something that still holds her together like glue. Something that still makes her the same Jade West that I've grown used to since I arrived at Hollywood Arts. The cold hearted Jade West I didn't want to accept, but that I reluctantly did each day that she pushed me away.

She kicks some of the mixed in sand dirt with her boot looking down briefly at her black combat boots before speaking. "So are we going to talk about this," she cuts the overly long muteness between us.

I guess I've been off in my head too long watching her, but maybe she was doing the same. That or biting her tongue so she wouldn't blow up on me. "Jade," I sigh seriously her name falling from my mouth for probably the hundred time today. I don't even know where to start. What does she want me to say?

Oh hey Jade yeah we went to second base in your car and I enjoyed every minute of it. Maybe we should do it again sometime. _Yeah_ that's exactly what she wants to hear.

"Tori," she mimics back my serious tone. I roll my eyes at her as she smirks.

"I don't know if I'm ready to talk about _this_." I hope she gets the point I'm trying to make. I just _can't _openly talk about this. I haven't talked to anyone about it not even Andre, and talking to her about this is far more intimidating.

She tilts her head looking right through me. "You're scared."

I keep rocking back and forth a little more force behind my swings as I rub my hands anxiously down my thighs. "Yes Jade, I'm scared."

"Why?"

Why? Why is it that I'm so terrified? "I don't know...I'm confused."

She purses her lips while nodding her head arms still crossed and guarded. "Confused that you made out with a girl or confused that you made out with me," she puts it into blunt words.

"Jade please." I plead her to stop, I _want _her to stop. I don't want her to continue on I don't think I'm ready to face _any _of this.

"_Stop_ dancing around the issue Vega. _It happened_...accept it and quit being so spineless."

I avert my gaze from her blue green eyes my body wincing at her sharp voice. I'm looking down at the ground my hands laying limp on my thighs. My rocking quickly ceasing as she suddenly kneels on her knees hands covering my own. My eyes magnetically fall back onto blue green lagoon orbs. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that." Jade apologizes swiftly her cool digits forcing my fingers to intertwine with hers.

I tense at her action, but I can see she means it. Jade honestly means her apology her eyes begging for my trust. I know she lost her temper Jade never being the patient kind of girl. "It's okay," I effortlessly forgive her. She squeezes my hands in a thankful gesture. I squeeze back too reassuring her that I understand.

"Will you push me," I ask her faintly wondering if she'll remember.

"Like old times." The corners of her mouth settle into a nostalgic smile, and I beam back just the same. She disentangles our interlocked hands and immediately I miss the way her fingers fit in between the spaces.

She dusts off her black leggings moving behind me. Her hands fall onto my shoulder blades as she pushes me gently at first. After only propelling me slightly forward Jade pushes against my back harder increasing my momentum. Her hands settle on a firm push not too hard and not too soft maintaining the right amount of swing I need to enjoy the rush.

It feels good to feel the wind blowing my hair back and to feel her hands touching me. Providing a pressure I surely need, the contact that I crave. However, it isn't enough...I want more.

Jade's quiet and so am I neither one of us daring to break the peace. I don't want this moment to come to an end, but I figure my time is almost up. I should take her to Beck. I start slowing myself down digging my shoes into the sandy dirt ground.

Jade takes notice and grabs my waist with her hands stopping me abruptly, but almost toppling over me. I laugh."Jade! You could have knocked us both over!"

She balances herself making sure I don't take a fall by tightening her hold around my waist. She laughs too. "Whatever Vega this way was quicker."

I laugh again at her impatience and turn my body a little to look up at her. She's looking down at me watching me now with very serious eyes the quick humor fading away. It happens slower than the last time as she takes her time searching my eyes, my features.

"Do you want to kiss me," she asks barely above a whisper.

I want to say yes, but my conscious says no. I waver fighting the devil and angel on both my shoulders. "No." The angel wins over.

"You're a bad liar Vega." Jade's lips collide with mine and I'm unable to stop myself responding just as eagerly. Her lips soft, warm, and I feel my body buzzing all over.

The swipe of her tongue against my bottom lip makes me moan and I allow her entrance into my mouth. Her hands roam briefly over my shirt before I can feel her fingers dip beneath the clothing cooling my burning sides the contact absolutely driving me insane.

My arms start to move towards wrapping around her neck, but the kiss comes to an end as I feel the swing give way. One of the sides unhinges and I fall out of the swing and onto Jade. She lands on her back with a small grunt of discomfort as I lay on top of her body my face landing in a predicament that makes me wet.

_Oh my god_ part of my face is literally buried in Jade's breast and I just- oh god. For a few seconds I don't move and neither does she, but soon enough I feel her body shaking beneath me as she breaks into a fit of laughter. I laugh too adjusting my face so that now one side of my face is lying against her breasts.

"Fucking swing," Jade says between broken laughs. "I knew that piece of crap was going to break." Her laughter dies down slowly as mine does too. "I was going to tell you, but too late I guess."

I chuckle one last time. "It's okay I had it coming. It looked pretty old, but I didn't think anything of it." I start to pull back carefully off her before I notice her hands still beneath my shirt holding me.

She removes her hands from my skin as soon as she feels my motions. I don't want to end the contact, but things have already gone too far. I move completely off of her now standing and looking down at her still lying on the ground.

I extend both my hands out smiling at how adorable she looks just laying there suspended in her own thoughts. She grasps my hands and I help her up Jade not letting go even when she's fully standing back on her own two feet. I think she wants to kiss me again by the way she's staring at me, but before the devil tricks me once more I snap her out of it. "Do you want to walk around the neighborhood a little?"

She smiles at me like it's the best idea I've ever said. She doesn't know that it's all a part of the plan. One that I got dragged into and one that I wish I didn't have to be the messenger to.

* * *

><p><strong>Jade's POV<strong>

**Walking around the Neighborhood**

Tori and I are walking along the neighborhood the backs of our hands brushing against each others. She's so close to me that I have the constant desire to place her hand in mine and interlock our fingers. Hell I just want to stop walking altogether, grab her waist, and pull her body to be against mine. Then I can kiss her again like I did at the park. _She's_ making me become irrational.

I'm impulsive, but I've never been so reckless...so out of control around someone before that I have to watch my every little move knowing it could lead to something more. When we kissed at Blackbird Park it wasn't done on purpose...it sort of just happened. I don't know how, but it's like something came over me. A feeling I can't fight away when I'm around Tori.

It's hard to describe really. I've barely let myself come to the conclusion that I might have strong feelings for Vega, but now-. I'm starting to think they've been there since the beginning.

What surprises me even more is the fact that she kissed me back without _any _hesitation. It's as if I have the same effect on her, but it all ended when both of us fell back into reality. The reality being I'm with someone. I can't keep doing this to Beck it's not fair. I cheated on him once, but now _twice_ with Tori_._

Not to mention this probably confuses the hell out of Tori too. I'm with him yet I keep on kissing her. I can tell even she's not sure what's going on with us and with herself. To top it off the guilt must be consuming her alive.

I figure that's why she didn't want to talk about it back at her home and at the park. I just wonder if her kissing me back at the park was a good sign. She's confused sure, but does this mean I still stand a chance? The way I see it there are two ways this can go, one being that Tori reciprocates my feelings and will risk being with me even if it means dealing with all the scrutiny at school, from our friends, and family. Or secondly, she can choose to keep quiet and pretend nothing ever happened.

I'm hoping she decides I'm worth the risk because I believe she is. That's why I know what I have to do. Her voice pulls me from my inner thoughts. "Jade I have to tell you something."

I stop from walking any further noticing she's no longer beside me. I swivel on my feet to look behind me as she stands rooted to the spot. "What do you have to tell me?"

Tori begins to wring her hands together remorse and sorrow evident within her coffee brown eyes. "Um...I didn't ask you to come over to my house just because I wanted you to." I nod signaling her to keep on that I'm not about to lose my temper."Beck asked me to bring you here...to the park and to this neighborhood."

I furrow my brows unsure as to why Beck would ask her such a strange request. "Why did he ask you to do that?"

Tori eyes me back just as muddled her next words clearly hard for her to say. "It's your anniversary with him." The astonishment strikes me off guard as my eyes grow wide and my mouth falls ajar. _No _it can't be today. I do the math in my head and realize she's right. "You didn't know did you?"

"I forgot Tori," I answer her back truthfully. This can't be happening. How could I've forgotten? More importantly does that mean what just happened between her and I meant nothing? Was this all just a ploy to get me out here? "Did you do all this because he asked you to? Or was there something more to it?"

She crosses her arms hugging herself from the cool night air. "He asked me to help him out Jade. He _begged_ me. What was I supposed to do?"

"I should have known none of this was real," I accuse.

"That's not true," she defends.

I look away from her and down at my boots trying to keep it together. "Then what part of it was?"

I raise my head to look back at her awaiting her answer. She stares at me pain radiating across her perfect features. "I- I don't know." She lets her arms drop to her sides her voice crackling. "I- I can't give you an answer Jade. All I know is I can't do this. It's wrong."

I close the distance between us invading her personal space. She doesn't move as I stroke her cheek and tuck a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "It doesn't feel that way."

My lips connect with hers our kiss softer than the one at the park. My hands go to her waist pulling her body against mine and I can feel her arms secure around my neck. Our mouths move in sync together in a way that feels so natural and true nothing about this feeling wrong at all.

I don't get enough of her as she pulls away removing her arms from around my neck leaving me completely breathless. "Jade stop...we can't."

I gaze at her on a high I've never experienced when kissing anyone else. I wish she hadn't stopped, but I recognize she's right. "I'm going to make this right Tori. I'm going to make things right." I hope she can tell by my words and by the way I'm looking at her that I'm willing to take a chance on us.

"Beck's waiting for you. You should go," she murmurs.

"He's waiting at the abandoned house isn't he?" Her eyes drift to the ground and she only nods confirming me. "How are you going to get home?"

Tori looks up crossing her arms shaking from the cold. "Trina should be here soon."

We stay quiet gazing at each other before she speaks again. "Go Jade I'll be fine." A weak smile tugs the corners of her mouth upwards and I can tell there is something she's not telling me.

**Jade's POV**

**Abandoned House**

The wind is biting as I make my way up the concrete steps of the old abandoned house. I halt on the final step up realizing this is the moment I've been avoiding for the longest time the one that will change everything. I guess it's time for me to play with the crimson embers and leave the calm wading waters behind. I don't want to end things like this...on our anniversary, but wouldn't it be worse if I broke up with him tomorrow or a week later after _acting _like tonight would be perfect?

I inhale and exhale slowly watching my breath float before me. I shiver but ignore the cold taking that final step up and enter the old house. I don't know what to expect inside, but I soon spot a red lit candle in a small circular glass near the right side of the stairs.

I move forward and notice other identical red lit candles creating a path to guide me where I figure Beck is waiting for me. I follow the glowing trail as it directs me further into the depths of the abandoned house that once must have been a beautiful mansion. The floorboards creak beneath my footsteps each one feeling heavier to make. Can I really go through with this?

I guess I'm about to find out. As I turn the corner to my right I'm left into an ample space. My eyes fall to the ground where there are countless of red lit candles like the trail that I followed in adorning the wooden floor, along with dead and fresh rose petals scattered among the glittering glasses. It's so stunning the room completely aglow displaying the old ruins of bricks strewn around the room in different places.

I can't find any words to say as my gaze moves over to Beck standing near the impaired fireplace close to the front of what must have been the living room. A black metal circular outdoor table and two matching chairs are set behind him, with a bouquet of fresh and dead roses placed in the middle. Alongside the arrangement are two big Starbuck's coffees.

He smiles almost timidly extending his one hand that I didn't notice was hidden behind his back. "Happy Anniversary Jade," he says offering me a rose.

My feet move thoughtlessly in his direction. I stare at the rose in his hand for a few seconds until I take it from him. I examine it closely observing that it's not a dead or a fresh rose, but rather a wilted one.

"I know you don't like flowers, but this one's not exactly perfect." He smiles fully now taking a pause. "It's a bit damaged. That's why it made me think of you. _However_, it's still very beautiful because it's stuck in the middle."

I look away from the rose to his tan face illuminated softly by the flickering beams of the candles. I peer into his warm chocolate brown eyes seeing what I wish I wasn't seeing. He's in love with me and I...I don't feel everything his heart does.

I wish I could fake a smile right now anything to make him believe I love him just as much, but I can't. Not this time. Everything he's done tonight is incredible. I didn't think he would go through so much trouble...that he would try so hard.

Yet here he clearly stands showing me he knows that I don't feel fully alive or entirely dead inside, but he can see I'm stuck in between. Beck's seen a part of me I didn't think he could see, and it hurts more knowing I can't return his affection.

I try to talk. To say something, but words don't articulate. I think he can see I'm quite surprised because he cracks a grin and chuckles nervously. "Too much?"

I manage a pained smile my voice coming out low. "It's beautiful Beck. I just-."

He crinkles his forehead in doubt his grin diminishing. "It's just what?"

I exhale heavily, "I didn't know you cared this much."

He sighs back relived his perfect grin returning to his face. "I told you already. I love you Jade."

The words don't settle well with me as they hang in the air between us. I feel my heartbeat increase in its rhythm aware that he expects me to say those three same exact words back to him. "Beck," I start needing to get the truth out.

I stop though as he reaches into his army green jacket pocket and pulls out something hidden in his closed fist. He steps closer to me and opens his hand revealing a stunning silver autumn leaf necklace with a small golden bell. "It was my grandmother's. She gave it to my dad so he could give it to the girl he would one day fall madly in love with."

Beck pauses and I look up to meet his eyes. "Which turned out to be my mother who's passed it down to me so that I can give to the girl I'm absolutely sure I've fallen for."

His devoted brown eyes bore into the blue green mixture of my own Beck's love evident through his words and his actions. I can see he's searching for purity in mine. He wants me to love him back wholeheartedly. "Jade West you're the girl I fell for the very first time I saw you. Ever since then you've been the only girl I've ever been crazy about...and I know you have your walls, but I'm willing to stick around until you're ready to let me in."

My eyes are hot and I can feel the tears collecting. Beck moves behind me to place the autumn leaf pendant around my neck. His hands brush along the sides as he moves my hair over one shoulder. I feel the cool small leaf touch my neck and I raise my hand to brush my fingertips against it.

It stops high up on my neck almost close to being like a choker but still loose enough to dangle lower. I turn around to face him his next words changing everything I felt before. "I'm not giving up on you. Even if you remain keeping me at a distance."

I let the tears slip not able to hold back the insane guilt and regret building inside my chest. I don't sob uncontrollably, but I just let the tears fall onto my face to make their silent descent. I can't break up with Beck he's a good guy. He's my friend...he's what's good for me.

I don't wait another second too scared that my mind will change again. I kiss him hard tangling my hands in his dark hair. I feel his hands slip to my waist as he pulls me close to his hard body nothing at all soft like Tori's. His lips aren't delicate and pliable like Tori's, no his are rougher and more dominating.

The kiss is urgent and heavy as I try my best not to think of her to not compare the feel of her to him. I give it my all hoping to find anything within our kiss, but all I feel is deep wrongness. I push it down reminding myself this is right...Beck loves me and I should love him too.

* * *

><p><strong>Jade's POV<strong>

**The Next Morning at Hollywood Arts**

I arrive at school earlier than most days planning on finding Vega. The words won't be easy to say, but they need to be said.

I quickly find her at her locker sorting her things for the day. I ignore my own locker deciding I don't need my textbooks and walk over to her. Tori turns to look across the hall and catches me moving in her direction.

A small smile plays at her lips as I stop by her side. I don't say anything at first only staring at her forcing myself to remember she's not the one I should be with. Vega adjusts her body to fully face me and gazes with worried coffee brown eyes.

I put in order my emotions setting my expression into stone as I gaze back at her ready to say the words I'd been dreading since last night. "You're right. It is wrong."

Her smile falls away and her eyes seem to grow darker whatever light within them fading. It pains me to look at her this way to see that _I _can affect her this way. I want to take my words back say it's all a lie, but that's not the plan. The plan is to stay with Beck. To_ learn_ to love him back.

"Oh," she utters lowly now avoiding my eyes to look at the ground.

"Tori-." She looks back at me even if it means I'll keep hurting her. "What happened between us can _never _happen again." I take a second to hold my composure managing to control my voice in the same fixed tone. "Do you understand?"

She nods once and smiles with apparent difficulty. "I just want you to be happy Jade." My set expression begins to crack and I can feel the mask wanting to slip. "That's a very pretty necklace," she comments trying to change the subject. Too bad the subject still leads back to Beck.

I raise my hand to touch the reminder around my neck. I struggle with my words. "Tha- thanks. Beck-. He gave it to me."

Tori doesn't say anything staying quiet her facial expression giving away her discomfort. She gets ready to say something before someone interrupts her. Ryder Daniels stands behind Tori and I can feel my anger boiling on high. What the hell does he want? Did he not see Tori and I are having a conversation?

"Hi." He simply says and Tori backs up against her locker door shutting it closed.

"Ouch. Ah hey Ryder you scared me," she responds back actually startled.

He chuckles and grins at her. "Sorry about that. I just wanted to say hello."

Really you ass that's all you wanted to say? Well you can leave now. Tori is looking at him and over to me watching both of us not knowing where to directly pay her attention to. Her gaze finally settles on him as she laughs back and returns a smile. "That's nice of you Ryder."

He nods and continues to talk. "How's R&B vocals treating you?"

"It _definitely _seems harder than R&B vocals I." Tori answers him back which makes me cross my arms and start tapping my foot.

"Yeah it's a tough class, but hey I'm impressed you're barely a sophomore and already you've moved up to the second R&B vocal class with all the juniors and seniors."

"Well last semester Mr. Jones recommended me to move up. So I did, but I'm really nervous about being in the junior and senior level class."

"Ah don't sweat it you're naturally talented. After hearing you sing yesterday I'd say you got in the bag trust me." He smirks flirtatiously and winks at Tori.

Vega blushes and smiles back bashfully. "Thanks Ryder."

My eyes bug out at her reaction as my foot stops tapping impatiently. _She likes him_. I loudly cough interrupting their staring. He finally acknowledges my presence as he looks over to me. "Oh I'm sorry were you two having a conversation."

I grit my teeth he seriously can't be that stupid anyone else would have seen Vega and I were having a moment. "In fact yes we were until you butted in," I respond angrily my face set in a scowl.

His eyebrows shoot upwards. "_Okay_. My bad geez." He directs this part to me and then looks back to Tori. "I'll catch you later in class Tori. I'm guessing this is the wrong time to ask you."

Ryder's about to walk off until Tori ruins it. "Ask me what?"

He halts and glances over at me briefly before he speaks again. "Would you want to go out sometime?"

If I was angry before I'm practically fuming steam out of my ears now. Vega better not say yes to him the guy's a player. She doesn't say anything visibly taken off guard. Vega's attention lands on me a curious look in her eyes as she studies me.

I have a scowl on my face, my arms still crossed, and by the way I'm staring at Ryder I think she can infer I disapprove of him. She shifts her focus back on him as he patiently waits for her answer. "Ryder I-," Tori pauses the apologetic look on her face changing into a slender grin. "Why not, sure I'd like that."

My heart plummets at her change of mind. He smiles smugly. "Great I'll talk you later about our date. Bye Tori. Jade." He addresses me last with his egotistical look still in place as he turns to leave.

"Okay bye Ryder," Tori calls out at his retreating form.

Once he disappears from her view she turns to me. "Jade I'm glad things worked out between you and Beck." She says sincerely, but I can still see a degree of distress behind her eyes.

"Why did you say yes to him?" I ask her calmly not even thinking about Beck at the moment. Did she do it to spite me?

Her face flashes with confusion from my question. "Because I wanted to," she responds truthfully. "Look Jade I hope we can be friends now that we have an understanding."

"What understanding," I mutter lowly. Her brows draw downwards her eyes worried. "Jade-."

I shake my head and uncross my arms letting them fall to my sides. "Right that understanding. Sure Vega it's whatever. We can be friends...and only friends," my voice comes out strong but wavers towards the end. "I have to go now. I need to go."

I leave her behind not even daring to look back, but knowing I have get away from her. I 'm walking swiftly towards the double doors getting ready to leave Hollywood Arts before a hand grabs my elbow stopping me from going any further.

"Jade?" I look over to the person in question who's holding me back and am met with electric blue eyes. "Kate? You're back."

"Yeah, hey what's wrong?" The compassion in her voice makes me break a small tear escaping my eye. I wipe it away before it has time to stream down my face. "Nothing I have to go Kate. I- I _need _to go okay?" I plead to her hoping she lets me leave.

"Then I'm coming with you," she replies her eyes boring sympathetically into mine. All I do is nod back a couple times before Kate grabs my hand and leads me out of school my thoughts still on Vega.

My heart aching in a way I've never felt before. I shouldn't be feeling this way. I let her go for a reason, and I shouldn't be angry or upset about who she chooses to date. It's her life and she can choose whoever she wants to be with. But why is it that I'm breaking apart like I've never have before?

* * *

><p><strong>I hope you guys didn't get confused in beginning where it's Jade's POV and Tori's POV at 9 a.m. Andre was not in two places at once I assure you. Tori's part was actually before he saw Jade just to <strong>**clarify.**

**Other than that I'm really hoping everyone likes this chapter...probably not considering the ending and other details. Don't hate me please. **

**I love ya'll and can't wait to hear your feedback. **


	25. Falling To An End

**Umm...so you guys must really hate me for keeping ya'll waiting this long; at least I figure. Writers block was one of the main causes. I hate it, but I didn't want to write just anything so...you can say I took a decade. **

**Anywho I kept everyone waiting long enough so just go ahead and read on.**

**Never shall I ever own Victorious. **

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 23<strong>

My hands are burning from the hot plain mug I'm clutching tightly; the aroma of black coffee strong in the air along with the smells of breakfast morning wafting from the kitchen of the old diner. The silence between Kate and I lingering as I stare outside the window watching the rain start to strike the glass another day nonexistent from the dark gloom, an uncommon sight in sunny L.A.

"Jade?" Kate's voice sinks in and I turn to direct my attention to her.

"Hmm," I mummer.

"Your order," she replies simply as I take notice of the late thirties woman with her notepad waiting on me.

"Sorry um I'll just have...um," I fumble through the menu on the table in front of me not knowing what to order.

"She'll have the same thing as me," Kate intervenes with a small smile on her face saving me the trouble.

The waitress, Rachel, as her name tag displays, kindly returns the smile, "Okay two Sunny L.A. breakfast specials coming right up." With that she leaves us alone disappearing behind the door that leads back to the kitchen.

We stare at each other, Kate's electric blue eyes trying to silently assess me. She clears her throat grabbing two pink sugar packets, "Here you haven't fixed your coffee yet."

"Thanks." I take the pink packets from her and begin to prepare my usual. I don't look at her as I do, but I can feel Kate watching me; waiting for me to explain my almost sudden breakdown back at Hollywood Arts. I keep my mouth shut though unsure of myself, unsure of what's wrong with me. I grab the silver spoon and start to swirl the black hole in the cup the clanging noise soothing me.

"You know this is the same exact spot where my dad left me."

The clanging of my spoon stops as I look up at her not expecting for her to say what she just did. My eyes grow slightly, "In this booth?"

She nods, "Yeah."

"What happened," I ask softly. I'm not entirely sure if Kate wants to tell me the full story, but why else would she bring it up?

She picks up her cup of coffee and sips on it setting it down gently on the table her eyes never leaving me as she does. I can't help, but get the feeling she's wondering if I can be trusted.

In her moment of hesitance I speak, "It's okay you don't have to-."

"I was eight," she reveals pausing as I become silent. "My dad, he asked me if I wanted to go to a baseball game with him like we usually always did together. He took me out to that baseball game and man it was one of the best," she pauses once more with a bright smile on her face recalling a sacred childhood memory.

Her smile doesn't last long though as she starts up again, it slowly disappears off her pretty face. "Then we came to this diner like we always did after a game. We ordered our food and ate and talked like normal. Everything seemed fine nothing felt off you know. Later on, he excused himself to go the bathroom, and I sat in this booth eating my pancakes waiting for him to come back. Minutes passed and I still didn't think anything of it. Not until an hour passed and I just sat here staring at my catcher's glove with the ball I caught that day."

When she takes another steady silence, I can picture the eight year old Kate across from me with the same look she has now on her face. She traces the rim of her coffee mug with her index finger quietly and eyes looking downcast. "More time passed and finally the waitress comes over asking me where my mom and dad are. I tell her I don't know. From there I end up telling her the number of my brother's. She makes the call and I wait still in this booth. The lady felt so bad that she brought me a sundae free of charge. I didn't really eat much of it though...and eventually my brother shows up walking over to me with a sad smile on his face. He squats down, grabs a napkin and cleans my chocolate covered face. All the while I'm trying not to break down crying because without even asking him I knew my dad was gone for good."

Kate stops and runs a hand through her sandy blonde hair making it look disheveled. She sighs, "I remember when he said "Let's go home kid," that I threw my arms around his neck and finally started balling like crazy. That is all I remember that day. I think afterwards I probably fell asleep the rest of the night from sheer exhaustion."

"Kate- I'm so sorry," I breathe out taking a pause. It sucks when the only words you can say are **'I'm sorry'** because truly they aren't enough to mend even the most tattered of hearts. My dad may not have left me at eight, but he sure as hell did abandon me later. The only thing people _can do_ is try to console you on your troubles, and even then the grief lies there down in the darkest pits of your heart building until all that's left is resentment. I wonder if Kate sees it that way...if she hates her father like I do mine. I resume, "I really am sorry. You know you didn't have to tell me..."

I trail off as she picks up, "I know- The difference is I wanted to."

I knit my brows close together, "Why?"

"Because I'm choosing to trust you Jade. I know you're someone...that trust doesn't come easy to. I don't expect you to open up to me about deep personal things, but- I want you to know you can."

"So what, are you exchanging one of your secrets for mine? Is that it," I reply back with a biting tone. I don't mean to lash out at Kate, but I'm angry and there are so many emotions coursing through me right now that it's hard to just focus on one.

"No, I'm not trying to rope you into telling me anything. I _want _you to feel that I'm the right person to talk to Jade. Whatever you're going through," she trails off avoiding my eyes and looks down at her hands placed on the white table top. I don't say anything waiting for her to continue. Kate takes in a breath and sighs, "Truthfully I don't know if I can help you. If whatever is wrong can be fixed...but Jade I just want to understand why you're hurting."

She lifts her head to look at me again our eyes connecting. "Every time I look at you...there is _so_ much pain. Pain that I know you constantly try to hide away. You're fighting something," she finishes softly her words penetrating down to my core.

I bite down on my bottom lip knowing that she's right. My eyes tear up slightly. "I hate you. You know," I say with an empty laugh not really meaning those words. From the way she's watching me I can tell she knows I'm joking too. I take in a breath and blow out taking my hands off the hot mug that I hadn't even noticed I was clutching onto. By now my pale skin must surely have been left crimson. I wipe a small escaping tear from my left eye. "Around you...I can't keep up an act. With everyone else it's so easy to just lie, to pretend. You see me better than anyone Kate...and that_ fucking _scares me."

I remain staring at her; sandy blonde bangs covering her eyebrows the tiny wisps of hair close to her eye lids leading a direct trail to those hypnotizing blue eyes that anyone can get lost in. She gazes back at me intently her features serious. "So do you feel you can trust me?"

I stay quiet for a couple seconds contemplating the fact that all I have to do is let down my guard. Allow Kate an entrance to my steel walls. Let her behind the scenes where she can watch my personal tornado spiraling on top speed. Would she stay when she finally sees all the chaos, all the damage?

I follow my intuition the feeling inside my chest that's making my heart beat faster. "Yes," I exhale with a steady voice certain beyond measure that there is something between Kate and I that I don't share with Beck. The only person who comes close to rivaling this feeling with Kate..._is Tori_.

Before Kate can respond to me, Rachel approaches us with our orders and two other servers behind her helping bring the food out. They place the food down in front of us my eyes roaming over the biggest breakfast I have ever seen in my life. Even though I wasn't hungry before can't say I'm not now. The food smells so good from the blueberry pancakes, to the sunny side eggs with bacon on the side, to the strawberry French toast, and hash browns. That doesn't even begin to cover the rest of the food like the fresh fruit and the freshly squeezed orange juice.

Rachel and the other two servers tell us to enjoy leaving us to attend to other customers. "Whoa when she said Sunny L.A. special she wasn't kidding. This breakfast can feed a village."

Kate chuckles, "Yeah it's a lot, but its super good trust me." She tenses up at the realization of her last words reminding us both where we were at a minute ago. "I'm sorry," she replies sheepishly.

I shrug my shoulders. "It's fine. You must trust me a lot if you were willing to bring that up. Do you mind if I ask you two questions though?"

She takes a drink of her orange juice and sets her glass down."No I don't mind. I'll answer any questions you have, but eat up first. Food is going to get cold."

I chuckle, "Okay mom."

She shoots me a disapproving look cutting a piece of her blueberry pancakes and taking a huge bite. Kate points the fork at me and through a mouthful says, "No sassing me young lady."

I laugh hard, "Charming Kate. Very charming didn't you learn to eat with your mouth closed. I thought you were the adult in our relationship."

She manages to swallow her food as she tries not to choke from her laughter. "I am the adult here and as the adult I say be quiet before I punish you."

She reaches for her glass of OJ and starts to drink. I smirk back wickedly biting down on my lip and quirking my pierced brow. "What kind of punishment? I like pain as long as it's the good kind," I purr out seductively. I guess I shouldn't have said that because as soon as I finish Kate begins to choke on her orange juice.

She turns a bright shade of red and slaps her chest to help ease the discomfort. I know for sure that wasn't the only reason she turned red. I chuckle, "You okay?"

Kate only nods back coughing a bit. Her voice coming out raspy once her coughing ceases, "Eat. Talk later."

My smirk stays in place as I begin to dig in to the most amazing breakfast I have ever tasted.

**20 to 30 Minutes Later**

I take my last bite dropping my fork with a clang on my plate.

Kate smiles setting down her glass. "I assume you're full."

I smile back my mind completely away from my troubles for the time being. It's strange how when you bond with someone that one person can take your mind off any of your worries. "I'll be full till Thanksgiving comes around."

She chuckles and gazes at me her pretty features highlighted by the rays of the sun streaming in from the window. My eyes shift to the day outside again, but this time the dark clouds and heavy rain are no longer present. The sun has reappeared after being gone for a day and the puffy white clouds are floating on blue sky.

Kate's voices make my head turn. "Hey how about we go somewhere?"

"Like where," I question with my head tilting to the side.

"How about my house?"

"That's what you call your idea of lets go somewhere," I ask with a small laugh.

She laughs along. "Well do you know of any places open this early?"

I glance behind her at the vintage neon clock mounted on the wall with the words "Don't Worry Be Happy" if only it were that easy. "You have a point it's only 9:00 a.m."

"So my place?"

"Yup," I pop the "p" and nod my head.

"Okay then let me just-."She fidgets in her seat retrieving her wallet that she carries in the back pocket of her jeans. Kate starts to take out her money to pay for our food when I stop her. "Wait hold up. One, we are splitting it so don't even think about paying for my whole meal Kate Connors. Two, you haven't answered any of my questions yet. Are you trying to avoid them?"

She closes her old leather wallet and laughs. "I'm _not_ avoiding your two questions Jade. Go on ask me before we pay."

I squint my eyes at her suspiciously, "If you say so."

Kate chuckles and leans back into the red booth. "Shoot."

"Okay were you and your dad close?"

She smiles wide and nods her head. "Yeah we were really close. He took me everywhere with him whether it was work, the park, baseball games, the movies, my old man really loved me."

I give her a weak smile slightly hesitant about my next question. "Then why did he leave?" It was the million dollar question that had been burning through my head ever since Kate mentioned her dad had left her here at this diner. If he really loved her...why didn't he at least take her with him?

Kate stays quiet her face still lit up from her bright smile before, but in her eyes I can watch that sparkle dimming. That same light that has made me grow fond of her just almost going out like a candle flame. I instinctively reach out and place one of my hands over hers regretting even deciding to ask any questions at all. I shouldn't have pushed. "Kate, I'm sorry. Let's just go. You don't have to answer that. I'm stupid for even asking any questions at all. I'm sorry."

I start to pull my hand away from hers ready to stand up and leave, but she surprises me by intertwining our fingers together. "No it's okay Jade. I just needed a minute...umm my dad _he_ did love me. It's just my mom she- she drove him away."

I nod in understanding raising our joined hands to my lips. I press a gentle kiss on the back of her hand her fair skin soft and not rough like Beck's. I don't push any further knowing when the time is right Kate will talk more on her own. After all I know she'd do the same for me. I place our hands back down on the white table top keeping them linked. "C'mon let's go to your place."

We stand up detaching our hands and leave the old booth behind along with the memory of a broken eight year old Kate. Once we finish paying and begin to make our way out of the diner our hands reconnect causing my heart to beat excessively fast.

* * *

><p><strong>Kate's House<strong>

I'm waiting on the vintage dark gray sofa for Kate to return from the kitchen. Soon enough she does bringing me a glass of water like I had requested.

"Here you go," she hands me the glass. I take it carefully in my hands staring down at it. I can feel her take a seat close next to me. If it was anyone else besides Kate right now I would have already pushed them off the couch, but I don't mind her being close. In fact I like her being close it makes me feel something; butterflies swarming around in my stomach. "So you okay? I mean back when we left the diner you said you were going to tell me something when we got here," she questions with concern in her voice.

I look away from the glass in my hands and turn my head to focus on her. "Umm...yup I did say that. Just give me a minute...or two maybe."

She nods, "Take your time."

My god I can't believe I'm going to tell her. Where do I even start? I raise the glass to my lips and hurriedly down the clear cold liquid.

"_Whoa_ slow down there. Don't wanna choke."

"Ahh," I let out in approval setting down the now empty glass on the coffee table. "That was refreshing," I awkwardly chuckle.

She laughs in response and arches a brow in curiosity. "Jade you're acting strange? She takes a pause and adds on. "I mean stranger than you already are of course."

A shaky laugh escapes me, "Of course." I pause staring at her contemplating how to say this. How to explain everything that's crashing inside me? Beck's a problem, Tori's a big issue, and even Kate is part of the equation. How do I solve an equation that can potentially cost me people I really care about? It's not simple math. Life never is an exact equation that has one correct answer. People's emotions get in the way creating multiple choices that affect the overall outcome. "Kate. I- I appreciate that you talked to me about your dad...and well I want to confide in you too. It's just- The last time I trusted someone, let them see aspects of me...that person left me."

She waits a second studying me with her eyes. "I wouldn't ever dream of leaving you. I can guarantee you Jade that I will _always _be here if you need me."

"Are you making me a promise Kate?"

"Do you believe in promises?"

"No, no I don't. I don't need a promise from you. Promises aren't good to me. All I need is for you to listen. I believe in effort."

Kate nods. "I have to earn your trust."

"Some of it yes, but just prove to me that you won't leave. Who knows maybe you'll change my outlook on promises."

"I hope so."

A small smile perks at the edge of my lips from her words. My phone sounds and I retrieve it from my black denim jeans pocket staring at the text. The words a reminder of my mistake, "Hey Babe where are you? Tori said you were here, and then you left? Call me please." - Beck

Beck talked to Tori...which means she covered for me. He trusts me, believes that I wouldn't ever betray him. Then Tori... God, she's his friend and I- I did this. _I'm_ the one who fucked it all up. My eyes begin to burn as the memories from last night start to flood me.

"Jade," I feel Kate place her hand on my shoulder. "What's wrong?"

I shut my eyes tight wanting to keep the tears in. I hate crying and for weeks I've tried holding it all back, but the dam wants to break. I crush the phone in my hands wishing it would crack and cut through me so I wouldn't feel this pain...so that I could focus on physical discomfort rather than this mental one. The emotional pain the most unbearable kind because your throat dries and sometimes you want to scream, cry out and let it all rip all through you. Yet at the same time it won't...you don't let it because it hurts too damn much, and there is no remedy for what attacks the heart, the soul. "I didn't mean to."

"Didn't mean to what Jade?"

My eyes remain closed, but I can still see. I see that night in the car when I first kissed her...when _I _made that first move that has lead to all this chaos now. "I should have stopped myself but- It's like I couldn't fight it."

"Talk to me Jade, whatever it is say it. Don't keep it inside anymore."

"I don't think I can," I say with a gulp that's hard to swallow that feels almost cemented in my throat.

"Yes you can, just take a breath, count to three, and then just say it." She squeezes my shoulder, "Don't hold back from me...please."

I stay quiet my body shaking as I try to suppress a sob. I don't want to open my eyes and face this problem. All I want is to disappear. Fade away until I'm no more. Kate's hands find my own. I feel her warm fingertips tracing over my knuckles her touch soothing and a reminder that she's here. My lungs are working hard to attempt to breathe easily, but I don't manage as finally my breakdown crashes over me in waves. I open my eyes meeting electric blue and the tears tumble towards my cheeks running down. "I cheated on- Beck," I utter my voice cracking on his name.

She looks at me her magnetizing eyes calm. "And he doesn't know. Does he?"

More tears slip and descend. "No. I'm such a fuck up."

She shakes her head, "No you're not."

I sniffle, "You don't know who I cheated with Kate." I bite down on my lip hard and close my eyes once more picturing Beck's face. His chocolate brown eyes so trusting, his smile a constant one even around me, he's a good guy and- I should have put him first, he never deserved me going behind his back like this. I open my eyes and say what's on my mind, "The fact that I'm lying to his face makes everything even worse; especially after our anniversary yesterday."

She gazes at me in quiet contemplation as she removes her hands from mine. I watch her puzzled by her sudden change in attitude. Kate's expression soft one moment ago and now distant. I look away and back down at my phone in my hands wondering if she thinks I'm a slut. If she thinks I'm a bad person? I hear her sigh, "It was Tori wasn't it."

I tense up my body stiff. How did she know? I find her eyes a slight melancholy within them, and for some strange reason I know I haven't just hurt Beck and Tori. In a way I think Kate's hurting too, but the reason is unclear to me. My chest heaves a mess of racking sobs coursing through me as I let myself fall apart before her.

"Jade," she utters my name in concern. Kate pulls me into her and I let myself cling to her my tears not seizing any less as I tremble roughly in the closure of her arms. She coos into my hair trying to calm me. "It's okay, it's okay Jade. You couldn't fight it anymore. I understand okay?"

I bury my face in her neck as she begins to stroke my hair. My voice coming out muffled, "You don't think I'm a horrible person?"

She chuckles weakly, "Jade West a horrible person?" I retract my face from her neck to watch her expression of what she thinks of me. Her hands are on both sides of my arms holding me still and steady. She shakes her head, "Nah, I don't see it." Kate places both her hands on my face cupping my cheeks and wiping away my tears with her thumbs, "In fact I think you're the most beautiful girl inside and out."

A small laugh escapes me, "You are just saying that to make me feel better."

She smiles back wide her thumbs still caressing my cheeks. "No I'm not. Remember I said that there is a bit of a sensitive soul-."

I cut her off sending her a barely noticeable glare, "Don't."

She chuckles quirking her brow, "Or you'll punch me."

I nod leaning further into her gentle touch, "Yeah I will."

She scoots close to me brushing some of my hair out of my face and tucking it behind my ears."I think I'll take the risk. Jade West is sensitive even if she doesn't want to admit it."

A small smirk graces my face as I roll my eyes. I lean into her again Kate's arms wrapping around my upper torso and my arms encircling her neck. I embrace her tightly as she returns the affection. For a while we stay this way just holding onto each other until questions begin to surface in my head."Kate how did you know," I ask her now calmer than a few minutes before. She pulls back a little to look at me my arms loosening around her neck. "How did you know it was Tori?"

I feel her arms drop away from me and I follow reluctantly removing my arms off her. I inch away from her just a little on the sofa as Kate stays quiet looking at me with concentrated eyes. "I knew because- The way you look at her. It's not just animosity between the two of you. It's something more- and other people are blind to it, but I observe what others fail to notice."

I nod my head and let out a sigh running a hand through my hair. "You're right. Vega and I share a past and no one knows about it except for us." I pause thinking back on our childhood together then add on as an afterthought, "And well you now."

She chuckles a little, "Only because you told me if not I would have never suspected you two actually had history together."

I grin a little in response, "Yeah Vega and I have known each other since we were five." I adjust my body to face her more and tuck one of my legs under the other. "We were actually best friends once...remember I said this person left me?"

Kate's electric blue orbs grow in surprise, "_That was Tori_...wow umm...what-."

"Happened," I finish for her my grin disappearing. "She chose to be someone else's friend. Can't say it's completely her fault though- I drove her away." Kate keeps silent watching me with somber eyes. I clear my throat, "Anyways that's the short version of the story."

She nods, "What about now?"

I tilt my head, "What do you mean?"

"Do you still want to push her away? From what I can see you are still trying to keep her at a distance, but this time you both did something you two probably haven't fully processed."

I purse my lips in thought. "I didn't sleep with her. We kissed...a few times, but that was it. As for keeping Vega at a distance can you blame me? I'm with Beck...and having her near me- It makes me become reckless."

"How exactly?"

"I have no self control when it comes to her...I give in when I'm not supposed to."

Kate grabs one of the black and white square pillows next to her and places it on her lap. "Is that so wrong?"

I shoot her a confused glance my eyebrows digging downwards, "**Yes**. Yes it is Kate."

She cocks her head to the side, "Why?"

"Did you miss the part where I said I'm with Beck?"

She chuckles lightly rubbing her hands down the pillow on her lap. "No, but why don't you just break up with him?"

I knit my eyebrows in thought considering her words shortly."Because-because it's not that simple," I reply back.

She shrugs her shoulders in a cool manner, "Or is it?"

"_Kate_." I narrow my eyes at her disapprovingly.

She laughs nervously, "What? All I'm saying is if you really like Tori then why stay with Beck?"

I snatch the black and white pillow off her lap placing it on my thighs and slapping my hands down in frustration. I sigh loudly, "_Because_ he's what's good for me. Beck's...the right guy."

Her expression turning into one I can't read a poker face. "And is that what you want to be with Beck? With a guy?"

I grip the pillow on my lap tightly with my hands and shout out, "I don't know!" I throw it across the living room in anger and it lands almost inside the kitchen area. "What's with all these questions?"

Kate stays calm not fazed at all by my sudden short circuit. She simply gets up and walks over to retrieve the pillow from the floor. When she returns she waits standing up and handing me the pillow.

I pout in shame and quietly apologize taking the pillow from her hand. I crush it to my body hugging it tightly like a small child. Kate grins sitting back down, her body fully adjusted to face me with one of her legs on the vintage dark gray sofa and the other hanging off touching the floor.

She places a hand on my thigh. "I'm just trying to help you Jade."

I lean my body a little towards her the contact of her hand on my leg burning through my black jeans. "Help me what?"

"Understand what you're going through."

There is a brief pause between us as she watches me with drugging blue eyes before I swallow uneasily a burning question on my mind since the moment I met her. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure," she says in a low tone.

"Kate, do you like- girls?"

She smirks a small blush rising to her cheeks, "What gave you that impression?"

I smile timidly in response blushing myself as I fidget with the pillow."I don't know...the way you act and dress."

Kate's smirk turns into a toothy grin. "You can say it Jade it's nothing to be ashamed of. I'm gay."

I blink rapidly almost feeling disorientated by the mere word. It's not like I've never heard the word gay said aloud before, but it's just hearing Kate say that _she's _in fact a lesbian excites me. "I just didn't want to label you and offend you."

She laughs and my stomach does a weird somersault. "Well rest assured you haven't offended me any. I always wondered if you were going to catch on eventually, but I just assumed you knew already."

"I mean I thought about it, but it's rude to ask people 'hey are you gay' just randomly."

She nods, "Yeah depends on the circumstances, but we are good friends so I wouldn't have gotten mad."

I smile, "Good to know I guess."

"So now back to you."

I groan, "Can't we just give it a rest and watch a movie."

"We can do that," Kate's face lights up with a small smile. "Only after we talk about _you_," she pokes my shoulder gently.

I roll my eyes and sigh defeated knowing she's not going to let this go. She's pushing because she knows I want to drop the whole entire thing. Kate cares...and at least she does. That gives me some sort of hope that I'm not alone as I feel. "Fine."

"Okay good. So back to the subject on Beck..."

I look away from her eyes and bow my head down really not wanting to relive the night before.

"Look I know it makes you feel low thinking about it...but you have to face the music Jade. Can't run forever."

I place one of my elbows on the black and white pillow resting my jaw on my hand. "Try more like scum- and Kate has anyone ever told you you're just a tad cheesy."

She laughs and tilts my chin up our eyes connecting. "Yeah but it makes you smile though right?"

I smirk a little. "Yeah, yeah it does, and I see your point."

The corners of her mouth rise slightly and she stays quiet gazing at me. "Do you want to be with Beck," she asks again in a whisper. "With a guy in particular..."

I don't say anything for a few minutes really pondering her question. Do I want to be with a guy? That question seems so absurd like it's what I should want because it's the norm, but the truth is...**I don't. **I don't feel a shock course through me with Beck's touch, I don't feel my heart racing like a machine when he's near, and I _didn't _like it when he-. A tear escapes and slides down my cheek as my voice comes out faint, "No."

Kate wipes it away for me with the pad of her thumb slowly her expression still and watchful. "Why are you crying again?" I blink and more tears slip away as I stare at her transfixed in silence. This time she doesn't wipe away my tears, instead she lets them run their course. Kate opens her mouth to speak, but then closes in hesitation. I notice her gulp before she mutters lowly, "What did he do?"

My eyes amplify in size and I can feel my pulse painfully thrumming in my veins. Her blue crystals shatter in concern. "What. Did. He. Do," she punctuates her words in alarm.

I bite down on my lip hard and squeeze my eyes shut trying to keep in control, but it's too late; the memory of last night already playing on loop in my head. I try to speak calmly, but choke on my words my voice breaking. "He- He didn't-." I gasp for air, "I- I _let_ him..."

Kate doesn't say anything instead she earnestly pulls me into her once again and I, like before, hide in her arms letting her see a side of me she's never seen before.

* * *

><p><strong>9:00 P.M. At the Aquarium<strong>

I'm sitting on the bench watching the fish swim back and forth the aquarium empty since it's almost closing time. I figure I only have thirty more minutes left. Thirty minutes more until I have to leave this place and go back to facing my problems. Flashes of last night interrupt my calm state of mind as I remember him backing me down onto his bed. The way his rough hands hurriedly rushed over my skin, the way his lips crashed eagerly against mine in excitement- How clumsily he removed my clothes, his own clothes. The sound of his belt being undone rings clearly in my ears and I remember my hands pushing against his hard chest wanting him to stop. He hesitated, asked if I was okay. I should've said no, stopped him. _I didn't. _I gave in and let Beck enter me.

My eyes sting and I vigorously wipe the tears away from my face with the palms of my hands wanting to erase any trace of proof that I've practically been crying all day. I know my eyes are red and swollen, my face a bit flushed; all signs that I've been in turmoil for hours. At times the tears have stopped, but then they return again and it's like I can't stop crying. Maybe it's because I hold in my emotions most of the whole fucking time and well here I am a priceless after school girl scene.

I sniffle and take a deep breath running my hands through my hair as I exhale. My chest steadies after I take several deep breathes and let go. The thumping of my heart returning to a more enduring rhythm and one that isn't so piercing. "You should have broken up with him that night Jade. I know it would have been hard...but look at you," her voice seeps into my consciousness as the conversation I had with Kate earlier today returns.

_FLASHBACK TO KATE'S HOUSE_

"In all this trouble of not wanting to hurt Beck you inevitably hurt yourself. You can't keep doing this. Keeping up this act that you don't feel _what you obviously do feel_. You are who you are and you shouldn't be ashamed of it." She takes a pause and grabs one of my hands squeezing tight. "Jade there is _absolutely_ nothing wrong with you, okay?"

With her other free hand she brushes away a loose tear as I only nod quietly back in response. Kate gazes at me with electric blue empathetic eyes, and I stare back at her before I lean in to place a soft kiss on her cheek. My lips linger on her fair skin before I pull back slowly and smile sadly. "Thank you," I breathe out in a small murmur.

_END OF FLASHBACK_

My eyes concentrate back on the fish swimming as I sniffle once more recalling the rest of the early morning I spent with Kate. After she and I talked somewhat about the other night Kate knew my perfect remedy. She put on one of my favorite movies, 'Edward Scissorhands' to get my mind off things. The entire time throughout the movie I lay on my side; my head on the black and white pillow placed on her lap. Her fingers buried within my hair as she lightly massaged my scalp while we watched on in comforting silence.

I've been in retrospect for so long that I haven't even noticed someone has sat beside me. I don't turn my head to acknowledge them too lost in the motion of the way the fish dip and curve around each other swimming freely, naturally.

"I thought I might find you here."

Her unmistakable voice makes my head turn to my right, and there she is sitting beside me looking at me with her coffee brown pools. "Vega," I utter in surprise. My next question is stupid considering I already know the answer, but it doesn't hit me in my perplexed dizzy mind. "How did you know I was here?"

"You always had a thing for aquariums Jade. You may not get in the ocean, but you love to watch the water and the creatures in it." A light smile displays on her face in recollection as she adds, "Not to mention _we _used to come here when we were kids together almost all the time."

I turn my attention back onto them catching some tropical fish hiding behinds some rocks. I don't smile back in return like maybe she would have expected me to. I frankly don't care if this is her lame way at an attempt to cheer me up. I needed to be alone and here she is showing up uninvited. If she had never came to Hollywood Arts in the first place _none _of this would have happened. Why couldn't she just stay away from me...then and now? "Why are you even here Vega?"

Through the corner of my eye I can see her looking down and fidgeting with her hands on her lap. "Because back at school you looked so-," she looks back at me with worried eyes.

I shift my focus onto her narrowing my eyes as we lock gaze. My tone comes out sharp with resentment, "So what Tori? Go ahead finish it off."

Her expression changes from concerned to hurt under a second. Her eyebrows dip low as she goes back to staring at her hands. "I just wanted to make sure you were okay," she says in a soft whisper.

"Well I'm fine," I remark coldly.

Tori's eyes land on mine. "Are you really? It looks like you've been crying..."

I explode, "Jesus will you stop. I don't get you. I honestly don't Tori because one moment we're kissing then the next you say you don't want to talk about it. _You're confused_. Yet you try to comfort me, make sure I'm okay? What the fuck is that about?"

She runs a hand through her hair an exasperated sigh escaping her. "You said we had an understanding Jade? Why are you bringing this up again? All I'm trying to do is be your friend. After all _you_ are the one who said we could try."

I swipe my tongue over my bottom lip pursuing my mouth in disbelief. "Unbelievable." Really she can't see why I would bring this up again. The more important question is why is she running from this? From a question that could have a simple answer. Either she feels something between us or she doesn't. All she has to do is tell me and then I'd give it a damn rest. She stares at me her features apprehensive from my continued silence."Try less. Right now is not the time Vega to see if we can be on good terms. I'm figuring things out and you should know that. You shouldn't be here," I pause staring her down with heated eyes.

"I'm sorry. I guess I'll leave you alone then," she responds defeated and ready to get up.

Before she can stand up to leave I quickly interject. "Actually... " Tori halts. "_I'll leave_." Her brows crinkle in confusion. "I need to go talk to Beck anyway. So if you will excuse me," I finish a bit calmer than a moment ago and stand walking away from her.

"What," her voice laces with panic. "What are you going to go tell Beck," she calls out at my retreating form.

I stop turning back on my heel to address her. "Not that it's any of your business, but I have to go confront Beck about the mess I've clearly made."

Tori's eyes grow wide in fear. "You can't tell him the truth Jade. It will break him." She pauses her expression evident with desperation. "He won't be able to even look at me. He will hate me forever," her voice slips out low and pleading.

A dry laugh escapes me, "Is that what you are worried about how he will look at you?" I wait for her to answer, but all she does is stay quiet staring at me with obvious guilt. I nod feeling like a complete moron, "That's all that you've been thinking of, tarnishing your reputation _as sweet innocent Tori Vega_." I grit my teeth, "You know what, don't even fucking worry about it cause I won't rat you out. I can't believe for even a second you thought I would blame this all on you."

Her mouth hangs slightly open in astonishment. "Weren't you? Wasn't that your intention all along- make me the bad guy?"

I glare at her; a scowl set on my face. "You know what Vega...you _don't_ know me as well as you think. For your information I'm telling Beck the truth because I owe him an explanation. I can't keep on living some big lie. So no Tori that was never the plan."

I don't wait around for her to defend herself; instead I just leave not caring what reasons she had.

* * *

><p><strong>Beck's RV 11:00 P.M.<strong>

I'm sitting in my mom's old car, the ignition turned off as I stare at Beck's RV through the passenger side window. I'm not parked in his driveway, instead I decided to park out near the curb by the side of his parent's house. I didn't want him to see the lights and know I had arrived. I've been frozen for forty minutes just sitting in the car contemplating if I should go through with _this _after all_; _the 'what if's' spiraling in an endless cycle.

What if he can no longer look at me? If he hates me afterwards would I be able to deal with that? What if I break his heart and he develops trust issues? What if...this changes everything? The way we interact with our friends, the way we both choose to live our lives, and the way people would see us. It's guaranteed that things between Beck and I will never be the same as they once were, but even if I chose to stay with him everything would still be one big grand lie.

I place my hand on the door handle squeezing it tight as Kate's final piece of advice slips into my mind; the speech she gave me before I left her house. "The choices we make define us. Jade whatever choice you decide to make know that no one can make it for you. If it's a mistake at least it's your mistake to make. I can't tell you to break up with Beck or to end things with Tori completely, but if there is one thing that I can tell you it's that...you _shouldn't_ have to pretend to be happy for anyone. You deserve to be happy without anyone _including_ Beck making you feel guilty for it. Don't think about him Jade. Think about you and trust that you're making the right choice."

"I have a choice and it's mine to make- Right or wrong," I state to myself in the silence of my mother's old red car before I pull open the door and step out. I make my way over to the RV my heart racing with each step I take closer to the one place I used to feel safe. That security will be gone as soon as I knock on his door. Too quickly I'm standing now right in front of it; my fist in mid-air shaking. I cease the motion of my fist before it makes contact with the cool metal door.

I close my eyes and take a breath holding it in until I've counted down to three in my head then release. I instantly open my eyes and let my fist fall forward letting my knuckles rap urgently on the cold surface. In less than a minute Beck's lights come on from inside, the white thin curtains now illuminated. I hear him unlocking the door shortly after he takes a peek through the blinds to spot who's at his door at this hour.

The door creaks open as he stands before me in a pair of faded jeans unbuttoned and sagging revealing his gray plaid boxers riding low on his well toned abdomen. Part of his tan chest exposed from his unbuttoned thrown on black flannel shirt, his hair a mess of black curls. He rubs the sleep out of his eyes and squints down at me from exhaustion. "Jade? Where have you been all day? I called several times- you never picked up."

My voice comes out weak and tired. "I- There is something I have to talk to you about."

His brows furrow as he runs a hand through his hair making it more disheveled than before. "Uh, yeah sure come inside," he gestures me with his hand and steps to the side.

I gulp and climb the two steps up into the RV walking over to the red couch. I don't sit, but stand instead staring down at a photo of Beck and I when we were just friends back in eighth grade. It's set on the stand close to his fish tank and up until now I've never noticed it.

"I just found it today thought I'd put it up," I hear him say close behind me. I nod not turning to look at him yet. I pick up the photo in its black simple frame and take a closer look at who we both once were. Back then everything felt lighter...sure I was dealing with my parent's troubled marriage, Blue leaving without a proper goodbye, and Tori finally disappearing on me. Yet through it all I had Beck. Beck the annoying boy who occupied a special place in my heart because he made me laugh, smile, and feel safe. For awhile he made me happy and I forgot all about Tori when I was with him.

I didn't want to trust him at first, but people slip into your heart when you least expect them to. Beck just happened to be a remedy to all my problems at the time. I can't say the same thing now because he's one of the problems. This time he isn't the goofy kid with a wide grin on his face like this boy in the photo. He no longer is my best friend. We grew apart without even realizing it, and I'm no longer the girl he fell in love with back then; the girl who clearly in this photo was once in love with him too.

This photo holds the bond we once did have. A broken smile forms on my face as I keep staring at the image of Beck and I grinning at each other almost as if we were trying hard to suppress our laughter from escaping, our noses touching point to point, and my forehead resting slightly against his.

I jump when his hand makes contact with my shoulder. "I'm sorry," he quickly apologizes. "I didn't mean to startle you. Jade are you okay?"

I nod strenuously and turn around to face him, "Um yeah. Yeah I'm fine." I go quiet again shuffling my feet into the carpet while still holding the picture frame in my hands. "I was just thinking about how we were_ just_ best friends back then...do you ever miss it?"

His expression pensive and sad as he responds to me, "Aren't we still- best friends?" I look away from him and down at my charcoal black combat boots unable to remain looking into his clouded brown eyes. "What is that you're not telling me Jade?"

I chew on my bottom lip knowing it's now or never. My gaze shifts to him as I pick up my head our eyes connecting. "I think we stopped being best friends a long time ago Beck. We've both have tried to make this work for quite some time and-. It just hasn't been working anymore." I pause unable to yet say it as the moment only builds further. He doesn't attempt to say anything either both of us aware of what is coming next. He visibly swallows his Adam's apple moving up then down. "I want to break up Beck..."

The look in his chocolate brown eyes is one of a shattered heart and it hurts to know I just caused it. "I don't understand- I thought we were okay? I mean last night..."

He trails off and I pick up, "Last night was a mistake Beck."

My words cut through him like a sharp blade immersed in alcohol and I can see every time I say something else I keep on hurting him; burning him more each time I cut him a little deeper. I didn't want to say it, but it's out in the open and I can't pull back now. His voice comes out crushed, "A mistake? Where did I go wrong Jade?"

My grip tightens on the picture frame in my left hand that's against my leg."You didn't- I did." I grasp the photo with both my hands now staring down at it. "I went wrong and screwed it- _us _all up," I mutter overpowered with disgust at myself. I sniffle a little feeling my eyes wanting to water.

"Who's the other guy?"

I look up stumped by his question, "What?"

"Who's the guy you cheated on me with?" His expression changes from broken to serious in less than under a minute. "Do I know him? Is it Andre?"

I shake my head from side to side, "Andre? What? No that's ridiculous." I gawk at him disbelievingly, "Why would you think it was Andre?"

A deadpan laugh escapes him as he runs both of his hands through his jet black hair; I shudder. "So there is someone else," he clenches his jaw down staring at me with repugnance.

I try to soften the anger he is radiating, "_Beck_."

"No don't do that. Don't try to make _me_," he points a finger to his tan chest."Feel bad about this. I'm not the one who cheated," he seethes.

I cringe holding onto the frame firmly. "_I know, I know. I'm so so sorry Beck._" A pause. "If I could take it back," I glance down at the photo then back to him. "I would. I'd fix this mistake I made."

He stays quiet for a brief moment his brown eyes locked on me. "Well you can't, you can't change _this_."

"I know," I utter lowly distracting my eyes away from him down to ground again.

"Tell me who is it Jade. Who are you leaving me for?"

I lift my head meeting his glowering stare."I'm not leaving you Beck. We can be-."

"No we can't," he interrupts me before I finish his tone grave and his anger shifting over to sorrow."Friends isn't enough Jade- at least not when it comes to you. I'll always want more," his gaze falls away from me and down to the floor. "And it's apparent that's not what you want," he finishes off.

My chest throbs painfully at the downcast Beck I've never caught a glimpse of before. My voice quavers as I try to keep myself together. "I _wanted_ to love you Beck. I did-_ so_ much. I just couldn't keep on acting like I did." He glances up brown eyes crestfallen. "It wouldn't have been fair to you. More than anything you deserve someone who _honestly _loves you. I'm not her." I let the frame gently hit my thigh as I run my right hand through my hair. "I'm not the right girl Beck."

He turns away from me, and I can tell from the way his arms are bent he is covering his face with his hands. I don't say anything only keeping quiet giving him time to collect himself. The moment doesn't last though because he suddenly whips back around thoroughly enraged. "_Who is he," _Beck demands through clenched teeth.

I take a step back shocked by his sudden shift of demeanor. "I can't tell you."

"You said it wouldn't have been fair to keep on faking our whole relationship with me any longer, but wait it's not fair for you to tell me the truth about who you slept with," he berates a complete flustered wreck.

My own anger starts to elevate and I yell back in response. "I didn't fake anything! Our relationship was plenty real Beck! Towards the end it's evident on both our parts that we were struggling to keep _us_ together, and I didn't sleep with anyone," I scowl at him.

"Oh well that should make me feel better knowing I'm the one who got to fuck you first," he remarks sneeringly.

I strike his face the sound resonating loudly. "_Don't you dare call it that."_ The side of his cheek now glowing red and his eyes shut from the impact. "What you and I did last night was not a meaningless one night stand."

I watch his jaw grind hard and his nostrils flare, "_Get out._"

My anger subsides from the tone of his voice, and I watch him noticing his hands balling into fists. "Beck," I breathe out worried.

He opens his eyes and I'm met with an icy stare that drops me dead still. "No. We're. Through," he emphasizes word per word. "That's what you wanted right to just break up with me. So go, 'cause you know what, I don't care _who_ the bastard is. He can have the rest of you as his sloppy seconds."

I nod my head and purse my lips my anger back and fueled. "You know what- _clearly_ you're hurting." I turn away from him setting down the picture frame back where it was before. I prop it back up and start to remove the silver autumn leaf necklace around my neck placing it carefully on the black frame. It sways dangling a little off the edge and it appears less lovely than this morning...than last night when he gave it to me. I face him once more my expression composed and passive. "So don't think so high of yourself Beck. At least they can get the job done right."

I exit the RV without sparing him one last look. After what he said to me tonight I don't think I could ever look at him the same way again. Beck usually so calm, patient, and perfect in my eyes erased his own image replacing it with one of disappointment. I pushed him too far- and for that he'll leave me just like I knew one day he would have. As the door behind me shuts I hear glass shatter and I stop for only a few seconds before I depart hastily in the direction of my mother's car. My tears overflow down my cheeks as soon as I shut the door.

* * *

><p><strong>So I hope everyone enjoyed this chapter even if there wasn't a lot of Tori and Jade action. Finally Beck and Jade are over right! That only took 23 chapters lol. (I know not funny, but I'm tired so bare with me.) <strong>

**I just want to majorly thank everyone who reviewed and the ones I private messaged for being so patient. All of you are so sweet! THANK YOU! (If I could I would give ya'll all a big hug.) So for now virtual hugs as lame as that sounds. **

**And hopefully the next chapter doesn't take me an eternity, but I don't make any promises.**

**Reviews would be nice as long as they are not death threats please. (Not that I have gotten any...I should really stopping typing now. Anyways bye all you Jori lovers!) **


	26. Overexposure

**So hey everyone I'm back! (momentarily speaking) I figure you guys deserve an update after waiting for awhile. I got a few reviews from someone who was persitent that I update, but honestly I don't like to rush myself. I checked that it takes me like at least a month to update which to me isn't all that bad considering some authors take longer to actually update. So I'm sorry if some of you are upset, but I really do try my best.**

**On another note I'd like to thank chase19 for nominating me for Best Angst in the Topaz Awards! And thanks so much to anyone else who nominated me or has voted for me! It was schocking to find out, but a wonderful surprise! :) **

**I don't own Victorious. **

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><p><strong>Chapter 24<strong>

**Jade's POV**

I turn in my sleep, coming to and fumbling around warm sheets. I'm surprised to feel my arm drape around someone's slender waist. My eyes crack open groggily; the sight of a sandy blonde sleeping right alongside me makes my eyes shoot wide open. I look down at my body covered by a gray sheet and halfway by a black comforter. I carefully remove my arm to raise the thin sheet ever so slightly taking a look under the covers to see my clothing still intact: I mouth a silent thank god. For a brief second I thought maybe I might have slept with Kate, but the memory of last night sinks in.

Somehow I showed up at her door step around 1:30 in the morning a mess of tears after I had driven around aimlessly on the streets of L.A. I didn't want to go home and have to deal with being alone. I didn't want to sleep, how could I possibly sleep after what happened? The only thing I wanted was security. I wanted to feel safe, so I came to the only person who I knew I could count on- Kate. My first impulse was to go to Tori, but when that thought crossed my mind I remembered what had happened at the aquarium. Tori wouldn't have cared; she was only concerned for herself.

I turn myself onto my back now looking up at the black ceiling fan above. "Lie," I whisper to myself knowing that it's not true: _she would have cared_. I place my hand on my forehead thinking about how today marks the first day of my break up with Beck. Won't Hollywood Arts have something to gossip about today. It's bound to get out somehow, although I don't know how the group will take it. Who will they side with- Beck or me?

My thoughts are only short lived when the rustling of sheets startles me. I feel Kate's arm spread over part of my mid section, her hand landing on the exposed flesh of my hip, and her face making contact with one of my breast. I internally begin to freak out, holy chiz... um what the hell do I do? _Fuck_. Okay Jade stay calm now, _don't breathe_. I hold my breath feeling myself already starting to turn red. _Wait no breathe. _I exhale, my chest falling with relief. Okay not my brightest idea, but what am I supposed to do? I've never been in a situation like this before; with a girl on top of me- _sleeping. _I was always the one sleeping on top of Beck if anything the few times I spent the night over at his RV. Not the other way around!

Not that Beck and I ever went as far as to have sex during those times, but I used to like resting my head on his chest as he held me in his arms. _Now_- this is so different. Strangely even though I'm freaking out on the inside my body is reacting otherwise. I feel hot and wish her hand would skim upwards. _No, _I should not be thinking of this. I just broke up with Beck and wanting to get physical with anyone at this time is not a good idea. Not to mention Kate's my friend, and I don't want to risk losing her.

I jump when loud ringing fills the room and realize it's the sound of an alarm clock. Kate starts to stir slowly from on top of me. She raises her head to look at me: her eyes squinted, and her sandy blonde hair ruffled up. "Well this is awkward," she utters drowsily when she notices our current position. Kate reaches over me to slap down on the snooze. She pulls back as the ringing stops leaning on her elbow. A sheepish smile crosses her face, "I move around a lot in my sleep. Sorry about that."

I smile sitting up, "Yeah I noticed. It's okay. Don't worry about it."

She nods and rubs at her eyes as I stare at her quietly, brief flashes of how last night went coming back. The way she held me in her arms comforting me with sweet touches. My restraint completely gone for the night as my defenses laid low. She didn't ask questions, but only said everything would be alright. For some reason I believed her- and I still do. I clear my throat, "Um- thank you."

She sits adjusting herself to face me with a serious look in her electric blue orbs."You don't have to thank me Jade. I understand what you're going through," she pauses reaching out to place her hand on mine. "It feels like everything around you is going to fall apart, but its not- it's just changing. Just know that I won't."

I nod my head in acceptance and detach my eyes from her's for only a brief second as I look down at the wrinkled covers of the bed. She withdraws her hand from over mine and I look back up automatically missing her touch. "I don't think I can do it," I mutter low.

Her forehead creases in worry. "Can't do what?"

A pause lingers between us as I start to think of Beck and about last night. "Go to Hollywood Arts today," I run a hand through my black tousled bed hair. "I can't face him Kate."

Her facial expression softens as the worry lines on her forehead disappear. She extends her hands out; palms up asking me with a light smile for mine. I don't hesitate to place my hands on top, and she strokes my pinky and ring fingers down with both her thumbs. "Jade sooner or later you'll have to." Our gazes hold; bright blue-green clashing with thrilling magnetic blue. "There isn't a way to avoid him. You did what was right, you told him the truth. Now it's time for him to accept it."

"What if he can't?"

She blinks twice her voice firm and assuring."Then that's his problem, not yours. You need to only focus on yourself right now. Don't feel like you can't be yourself just because he's hurting."

I look away my eyes downcast: my self-loathing growing at the thought of hurting Beck like my father hurt my mother. He cheated on her and I feel just like him right now. I guess the apple doesn't fall far from the tree after all. I yank my hands away from Kate unexpectedly and let them drop on my covered lap. My eyes water and my voice quavers."It's my fault though." I ball my hands into fists angry with myself for making the same mistake as my father. "He's- I broke his heart."

Kate tilts my chin up gently her voice low but supportive. "Hey look at me. Listen, yes it's horrible that Beck is going through a hard time- but so are you. You made a brave choice by just taking this step Jade. All you can do now is try to come to terms with who you are. Trust me it takes time. Just like it takes time for someone's heart to heal... don't beat yourself up for something you have no control over."

I stare into her eyes seeing the compassion she has for me. Kate's such a good person...Beck was a good person too- and I ended up hurting him. What if I hurt Kate? I don't want to: I wouldn't be able to live with that pain. I can barely handle it now.

Kate stays quiet watching me before glancing over at the clock on her night stand. Her eyes shift back to me, "Will you go after all?"

I don't answer her immediately, but instead look over to the faintly glowing neon blue lit alarm clock myself; the time 6:00 A.M. I turn back to her my mind made up. "Time to face the music," I reply with a bit of a smile as Kate returns the gesture; the recognition of her own words from yesterday clearly ringing a bell.

**Twenty to Thirty Minutes Later**

"Kaaaate," I call loudly from upstairs in her room.

I stay quiet staring at myself in the gray rectangular mirror hung up on one of the white walls until Kate's acoustic guitar near off to the side catches my attention. It seems familiar, but before I have time to further inspect it I hear footsteps falling on the stairs and coming closer to the room. Soon Kate rushes in running through the door and stops right behind me as I stare at her reflection in the mirror.

"What? What's wrong," she asks in slight panic her chest heaving up and down.

"What's wrong is I look like you," I remark gawking at my reflection once again in discomfort.

At first she doesn't say anything, but then erupts in laughter. "That's what you are freaking out about- _my clothes_?" I glare at her through the mirror before I whirl around to face her crossing my arms over _her _black jean vest. "I mean you don't _exactly _look like me," she grins biting down on her lip trying not to laugh once more. "I gotta say though- I think I like this look better on you," she shrugs her shoulders and scratches her still messy bed hair.

I roll my eyes. "Of course you like it- _they're your_ clothes Kate." I turn back around uncrossing my arms and observe my reflection in worry. "I look like a lesbian."

She laughs stepping closer behind me. "Is that a bad thing?"

"No. It's just people might stare and start talking about my sudden "new" I air quote, wardrobe. I don't want people to know yet that I'm- gay," I inaudibly whisper the last word.

She nods, "Hmm...I understand. Well if I remember correctly Jade West can instill fear in anyone with just a single look."

I smirk at her image, "Very true."

She smiles back, "And if anyone says anything just pull out your scissors. I'm sure that will shut anybody up."

I arch my pierced brow and smirk a little wider, "It usually does."

She chuckles her smile still in place, "Feel better?"

My smirk becomes an easy smile Kate always easing my troubles with her words, with her hypnotic eyes, and benevolent grin. I sigh, "Yeah."

She places her hand on my left shoulder squeezing down gently, "It will all be fine Jade. I'll be with you."

My eyes bore into hers through our reflections. My heart thumping fast as I lift my arm crossing it over and placing my hand over hers. "I know," I whisper.

A silence ensues between us as we remain fixed on each other; my eyes roaming over her body. From Kate's sandy blonde ruffled short hair, to her well defined arms exposed from the yellow muscle tee she's wearing, and all the way down to the black boxer briefs she has on.

I feel myself start to blush at the sudden realization that I'm checking her out with her mostly likely being aware of it. She clears her throat and I react by quickly withdrawing my hand from over hers. "Um- I'm gonna jump in the shower so you can make yourself at home," she says as she moves out of my field of vision. "I won't take long to get ready. Breakfast is downstairs by the way."

A short pause fills the room before I respond with a small, "Okay." I look myself over once more in the gray rectangular mirror before I turn around and no longer catch sight of her in the room. I sigh loudly my shoulders sagging from the release as I pinch the bridge of my nose.

What's wrong with me, seriously? I have to get it together...slipping up the way I am right now isn't an option. Damn it, why am I feeling this way about her? Kate's my friend and even if I'm accepting the fact that I'm into girls I can't just throw myself at her at any given moment that arises. Sure I feel the tension- but I have to pretend_ it's_ _not there_. This burning desire is all too much too soon. I need time- especially given that I'm unstable from getting out of my almost two year relationship with Beck. Then there's Tori the main source of all my problems. I haven't forgotten about her: I'm just upset with her.

When the fuck did my life get this complicated? After my parents divorced I thought things would never get any easier- but Beck was there keeping me barely afloat, I clung to him like a lifeline. Of course now I'm back where I started- floating aimlessly hoping someone will save me. Someone will pull me up and out of this viscous current of my own demise. I pushed Beck away by cheating on him with Tori. I pushed Tori away at the beginning...scared to confide in her again, and now she's pushed me back no longer wanting to confront what exactly we mean to each other. How long will it take before I push Kate away too?

Before I mess up with her just like I messed up with Tori? I reel people in and just claim them for my own selfish needs. I'm not a good person- Kate's wrong about me. I broke Beck's heart, seduced Tori frightening her away. I don't want to hurt Kate- I'll end up pushing her away because I'm too afraid to let anyone get so close. That's what I've done with Beck and Tori- forced them off because I was scared to let them in completely. Fearful that they would hurt me- leave and not care anymore. I kept them at a distance driving a barrier between my heart and head.

This time though I don't know if it will be enough. Kate could be the one to save me from my own destructive ways; if I let her pass. I shake my head deciding it's best for me to stop thinking. I exit Kate's room heading downstairs to distract myself. Once I walk into the kitchen area I spot the stack of pancakes she made and the smell of freshly brewed coffee assaults my nose. I take it in going directly to fix myself a cup. I rummage around for the mugs eventually finding them in one of the cherry wooden cabinets; I even grab a plate too deciding to have some breakfast for a change.

I usually skip breakfast and just drink coffee, but it will seem more normal if I do eat at least one. Maybe Kate will think I'm not so sad...I have to put on a tough front. It's the only way I'll get through- not for her, but for my own sake. Pretending today is like any other day might make it easier on me...at least I'm hoping. I pour the syrup that was already left on the kitchen countertop over my pancake: cutting and taking my first bite.

The pancake moist and fluffy a delicious treat in my mouth. I take another bite and raise the white mug with a three black bird design to my lips. Sipping the hot coffee carefully I savor the strong bitter flavor left on my tongue sighing in satisfaction. "Thank god," I say to myself as I drink more greedily and adjust my position of facing the counter to leaning my lower back against the hard granite.

I'm enjoying my black cup of coffee when the sound of a deeper memorable voice strikes me frozen; immediately ceasing my drinking. "Hey Kate I need your help today at the shop. Are you free after..."

There in the kitchen entrance stands a tall man before me: with short cropped dark sandy blonde hair and compelling familiar ice blue eyes. I lower the mug away from my mouth astonished at the uncanny resemblance.

In return his eyes are focused on me in wonder. "I'm sorry I thought you were my sister, but clearly you're not," he says with a small laugh. "You must be one of Kate's friends."

I stare transfixed at him with no words forming at the moment struck utterly speechless. _His sister..._the hot cup of coffee in my hands slips away and shatters on the tile floor with a resounding smash. I blink twice startled by the sound of broken glass before I acknowledge the mess of fragments at my feet. "I'm sorry-," I articulate breathlessly.

Without thinking I begin to bend down on my knees to clean the mess with my bare hands, but before I can make contact with any sharp edges Kate's voice stops me. "Jade what are you doing?"

I raise my head now seeing Kate standing right next to him. "What," I ask disoriented.

Kate moves from beside him and over to me squatting on her knees to come level with me. "Don't pick it up. Let me take care of it, okay?"

I gawk wordlessly at the parallel of their features; Kate's eyes a shade darker, his a shade lighter. He watches me closely his expression reflective.

Kate confirms the name that I haven't heard in five years. "Blue, would you mind getting the brush and pan?"

He blinks a couple times before reacting, "Oh yeah, yeah sure." Blue moves retrieving the brush and pan from under the sink soon standing close to us handing that and a cloth over to her. "Wait Kate did you say Jade?"

She starts to clean up the mess as I finally rise up off the floor my eyes meeting his head on. I hurriedly break the contact by looking down at Kate who's looking up at Blue. "Yes," she responds with a little arch of her brow. He goes quiet and I can tell he's staring at me probably in surprise. Kate resumes cleaning now brushing the broken glass into the pan.

I chance a glance at him, Blue shaking his head and gaping at me in disbelief, "Jade as in Jade West?"

Kate stops and looks up at both of us her brows furrowed from the surprised tone of his voice. "Yeah. How did you-."

Blue exclaims in delight, "Little Jade West!" He suddenly engulfs me in his arms, and I'm crushed in a bear tight hug that I can't even return because my arms are trapped at my sides. "I knew it was you slugger!"

"Uh Blue- slugger is about to break," I say through a difficult breath.

From the corner of my eye I catch Kate rising to her feet. A confused look on her face as she motions from Blue to me with her hand, "Wait did I miss something?"

Blue chuckles deeply loosening his hold on me slightly, "Oh sorry. I'm just so surprised to see you all grown up." He takes two steps back letting me go, "Look at you."

I cross my arms taking a protective stance shifting my weight over to one foot. "I'm not exactly in my twenties like you Blue."

He smiles that same goofy white grin that I remember from all those years ago. "_No_ you're not, but compared to the last time I saw you. You were just a little shrimp." He motions to me with his hands as his eyes study me, "Now look at you- tall, with _black _hair, _blue _streaks- and a piercing!"

I smirk a little at his startled expression. I guess he didn't catch the eyebrow piercing till now.

His eyes collide with mine, "Lord it's good to know one thing hasn't changed though."

"What's that," I ask with the tilt of my head.

"Those blue-green eyes of yours- still as beautiful as ever," he says with benevolent smile.

I try to keep my cold exterior in place, but it dissolves as a smile crosses my face in return.

Kate interrupts the brief silence her puzzled expression still in place, "Yeah I'm beyond lost. How do you two..."

Blue finishes for her, "Know each other. Well I used to babysit Jade when she was _pint size_."

I roll my eyes, "I wasn't that short."

He smirks and chuckles, "Jade never liked when I made fun of her height even back then. Good thing you had that growth spurt huh slugger."

I nod once my bitter reaction getting the best of me. "Yeah started right a year after you left," I remark abrasively.

An awkward silence tenses the air around us. Kate looking to Blue and over to me her curious gaze evidently pondering my last words.

"Look Jade- we should talk about that," Blue finally mutters a guilty conscience apparent within his ice blue eyes.

I stand up straight, uncrossing my arms a part of me feeling wrong from the look in his eyes. "Um maybe some other time- Kate and I have to make it to school." I shift my focus onto her, "Isn't that right Kate?"

She nods briskly following along with my cue, "Mhmm. Yeah we should get going before we're late."

Blue smiles politely, "I understand." He places a hand on Kate's shoulder now looking to her as I move around them retreating towards the kitchen doorway. "Kate remember to call me during your lunch break. I might need your help."

"Yeah sure thing Blue," she responds simply and follows me out of the kitchen.

As I'm about to pass the stairs and make my way to the front door her voice stops me. "Hey let me get our bags they're upstairs."

I turn around to face her, "Okay."

Kate goes off up the stairs while I'm left waiting by the foot of the staircase on her to return. I place my hands inside the pockets of Kate's black denim vest fidgeting my fingers inside the softer material and rocking on my boot clad feet hoping not to see Blue. Yet he comes out from the kitchen our eyes catching one another's. He smiles nervously, "Jade- um you know you can stop by anytime you'd like, okay?"

I watch him carefully measuring the tone of his words: the way his eyes and features reveal regret holding an essence of truth that he wishes to make things better. I smile sincerely, "Thanks Blue."

His nervous smile now more content. Our eyes shift away from each other and over to Kate who I turn to see descending the stairs. She hands me my messenger bag once she's at the foot of the winding metal staircase. I take it from her and cross the strap across my body. "Ready," she asks her eyes observant of Blue and I.

I answer her with a yes and we both make our way to the front door of the house Blue watching us go.

* * *

><p><strong>Hollywood Arts 7:30 A.M.<strong>

**Kate and Jade entering HA**

"Well we made it on time," Kate confirms as we enter through the double doors of Hollywood Arts.

As Kate and I make our way to my locker people begin to notice my new look. Some students doing take backs to make sure they are seeing what they quickly glanced at: their puzzled faces obviously saying it all. "Made it to the premiere of my own movie 'Jade's Obvious Gay Is Showing'. Kate they all know," I lean in close to her and whisper cautiously afraid that someone around us will over hear me.

We make it to my locker, Kate standing next to my left as I put in my combination and open it up. I reach into my messenger bag retrieving my books from last night that I was supposed to have used for my homework, but never did get around to. I switch two of them out for another two stuffing them in my bag. Kate finally whispering back, "No they don't. It just feels like they do cause you're over thinking it." She pauses taking a look at the students as I dare to do the same by looking to my right. "Trust me all these people probably figure it's just for show. You're Jade West everyone knows you're a damn good actress," she goes quiet once more and I look to her wondering why. Her eyes peer into mine with encouragement, "All you gotta do is play it off, okay?"

I nod back in response understanding what she's trying to say. I have to give this my best performance in order to keep my sexuality a secret... at least for the time being. I have to keep on _acting _like I normally would any other day so no one suspects anything. I shut my locker door with a loud slam the sound echoing off in the halls as a warning to those around me.

I turn to my right now facing the looks from the many students of Hollywood Arts. My eyes locking on one of the jersey wearing football players surrounded among his many fellow teammates not so far away from me. I call him out on it, "Hey number eight what are you staring at? Did you get tackled so many times that you have the inability to look anywhere else, but in my direction?" He tries to reply, but fails stuttering incoherently. "Apparently you don't speak English. So let me help you out. **Stop. staring. at. me**," I punctuate with a glower in his direction. "Or you won't be able to see anything for next week's football game. Got it."

I don't have to say anything else because as soon as I finish the guy sprints off down the hall probably heading over to the boy's restroom. The rest of his teammate buddies avoiding my gaze along with everyone else in the hall who has returned to doing whatever else they were doing before I entered the building. Kate comes into my peripheral vision: her arms crossed. "Subtle," she whispers with a grin on her face.

I smirk slightly keeping my eyes trained on the roaming students in the hall. "Yeah well you said play it off, and I did."

She chuckles, "That you did. So are you ready for Sikowitz's?"

I don't answer her right away focused on searching for the group specifically Beck- and Tori. I don't catch sight of any of them. They must already be in Sikowitz's class. I turn my head to my right to look at Kate meeting her worried eyes. "I guess we'll find out," I remark with a shrug of my shoulders.

**1st Period Sikowitz's Classroom**

I step through the back door of the room like usual Kate walking in behind me. A couple steps further into the room and I start to get the same reaction that I did out in the halls. Gawking looks including from Cat, Robbie, Andre, and Vega.

"Whoa Jade you look different," Cat rushes up to me with animated big brown eyes. I stay quiet not knowing what to say for the fact that it's Cat, and I wouldn't deliberately hurt her...unless she gave me good reason. My eyes swivel around the room of students in search of Beck realizing that he's not here. She giggles and my attention lands back onto her. "I like it."

I nod once, "Thanks Cat."

The petite redhead smiles brightly at me her eyes dancing with delight. "Wow Jade. You said thank you to me," she remarks stunned.

My eyes grow big in recognition of my mistake. She's right I never say thank you to her or to anyone for that matter. Jade West doesn't do thank you's or apologies... at least not around school. I tense up not knowing how to respond again as curious and half confused faces keep watch on me more than before. Rex makes a noise his mouth dropping open, "Ah. Maybe its opposite day- which means Wicked Witch is gone and nice Jade is in."

Andre turns to Robbie and Rex, "Is there such a thing as a nice Jade?" Vega rolls her eyes knowing that Andre should have never opened his mouth.

I glare at the two boys including the dumb puppet my teeth clenching down in annoyance. "Either you two shut it or Wicked Witch is about to have you for breakfast stew."

Robbie visibly gulps as Andre fidgets with his baggy pants pockets. Rex making another one of his usual breaking the awkward moment noises, "That's unsanitary."

Suddenly a voice booms in the room, "Owie!" Everyone jumps turning around to see the commotion that apparently is Sikowitz lying face first on the stage. "Ahhh," he grumbles and twitches on the floor as he tries to stand up.

Tori dashes over to him kneeling on her knees carefully placing a hand on his shoulder. "Sikowitz are you okay?" He grunts placing his hands in push up position and forcing himself up a bit. Vega helps him stand up the rest of the way by pulling him up from his arm.

"I'm alright Tori, thank you," he addresses her as he finds his footing. She leaves him on stage stepping down next to Andre's side. Sikowitz rubs at his red forehead. "Alright aside from my failed attempt to make a dramatic entrance through the window for the fifth time now," he drops his hand away. "I'd like to say welcome back children from your slumber! Isn't it a glorious and wonderful morning," he jubilantly exclaims to the class.

Jesus how many hits to the head can this man take and still say it's a _wonderful _morning. Trust me Sikowitz my morning is anything, but _glorious. _The bell rings and everyone shuffles to take their regular seats. Kate gently touches my arm very discreetly leaving my side and making her way to the other side of the classroom to take her seat up in front. I take my own seat near the back crossing my arms and slumping into my normal unladylike posture.

"Alright now that everyone is seated let's start the class with an acting exercise!" Sikowitz strokes his bearded chin and hums to himself as he considers who to choose among the crowd of students. "Aha! Cat! Come up here will ya," he motions to the excited redhead who skips her way giddily to the stage.

Sikowitz turns away from us walking over to a box off near the stage. He rummages through it pulling out a pink ruffled hat that he throws at Cat. She squeals as it hits her in the face and falls to the ground. She touches her face slowly in reflex blinking fast a couple times before looking down at the pink hat lying at her feet. Cat picks it up laughing at the realization that the hit wouldn't have actually hurt even if Sikowitz had warned her about him throwing it at her face in the first place.

"What do I do with it," she asks Sikowitz with a cheerful smile.

He hums again. "Right! I forgot," he bellows out. Sikowitz grabs an orange swivel chair and places it on the stage signaling Cat to take a seat. She does so facing him her back to us. The chair and the back of her red hair being our only view until Sikowitz takes the pink hat from her placing it over her head. He begins tying the pink rumpled hat adjusting it to better fit Cat. Where is he going with this? "Alright Tori and Jade- you two are going to play husband and wife," he says loudly with a bit of a hidden smirk directed in my direction.

He can't be serious...really Sikowitz?! I swear that hippie is always trying to make Vega and I get along. He does this on occasion by pairing us together, but why out of all the days of the week did he have to choose today!

Tori turns back in her chair looking to me, "I'll be the wife."

"Yeah no kidding," I retort back with a scowl on my face. I stand up making my way to the stage Tori following suit.

Sikowitz spins Cat around joyfully announcing to us as if we've won a prize, "Now here's your brand new synthetically redheaded baby."

Cat looks up at Sikowitz, "Wait before we start I was just wondering. I have three questions-," he unexpectedly pops a bright orange baby pacifier into her mouth cutting her short.

He quickly walks off the stage leaving Cat with a sad expression. "Alright now your dialogue should all be friendly and happy, but your subtext is anger," he directs all three of us with energetic hand gestures. "So you must say your happy lines angrily." He steps up close to me and yells, "Action!"

Sikowitz runs off grabbing his coconut and standing close to Andre and Robbie. I shake myself getting into character. Vega turns to face me fully starting the scene off, "Hey! I am so hunking happy that we got married and had this cute little baby!"

I cross my arms and nod in reaction. "Dido to that," I shout back in a deeper voice to accurately portray a husband. I snort and scratch my nose motioning to Cat, "I tell ya there's nothing on this planet warms my cockles more than looking at this magical pile of baby right there."

Cat angrily removes her orange pacifier with a pop, "Goo!"

She places it back in her mouth as Tori sharply replies, "Oh! Did you hear that, goo!?"

"Cut," Sikowitz roars interrupting me before I even get the chance to say anything. Everyone looks surprised at him. What the hell? We were doing well why would he cut? "You girls are doing _extremely _well." No shit Sikowitz I say to myself as I roll my eyes. "_However_, you two," he points to Vega and I. "Are playing husband and wife- which means that you must be affectionate even if the dialogue is friendly and happy along with the angry subtext. Capeesh?"

My brows shoot up and my eyes bug out from his words. He's joking right? Dear lord please Sikowitz start laughing and say it's a damn joke. I gulp turning my head to look at Vega. She's just as shocked as everyone in the room is right now. In all of the other acting exercises we've done together Vega and I have never had to be _affectionate _with each other_._ Tori awkwardly laughs, "Umm what do you mean?"

Did she seriously just ask Sikowitz that question. He laughs hysterically, "Okay Tori I'll help you get the picture. Cat scoot on over a little so Jade can move closer to the middle of the stage." Cat does as she's told and I center myself waiting on him to go on dreadfully. "Now! Tori move closer to Jade please."

Vega hesitantly takes a few steps in my direction until she's two feet away from me. "_Closer_," Sikowitz instructs. Vega tensely moves forward getting rid of the final distance in between us. "Okay good. Now Jade place your hands on Tori's waist, and Tori you place your arms around Jade's neck."

My eyes wander down to Vega's waist, and I consciously place one hand on her side pulling her just an inch nearer; our bodies touching now. I stiffen as our eyes connect blue-green meeting coffee brown like millions of times before. My other hand delicately finds Tori's waist my cool fingers brushing a bit of her hot skin by mistake. She noticeably shudders and bites down on her lip. I feel my heartbeat speed up when her arms snake around my neck her body pressing tightly against me.

"Excellent now_ Jade_," my gaze shifts onto Sikowitz. "Kiss your wife," he says with a sly grin.

I think it's safe to say everyone in the room is holding their breath just like I am right now. I tremble turning my attention back onto Vega her warm brown eyes watching me in apprehension. I breathe unevenly, kiss her? Kiss Tori. My eyes travel down to her supple pink lips and I begin to drift forgetting the fact that there are people in the room. I want to kiss her: my head tilts as I begin to lean in for that very much desired contact.

Tori's hands start to explore the back of my head her fingers delving into my dark wavy hair. I can feel her pulling me closer; my eyes drift up to meet hers the stifled anticipation within them dancing dangerously high. I ease in ceasing my chance and kiss her my lips tenderly making contact with the soft skin of her cheek.

The noise of students gasping and Tori's difficult breathing are all that I'm aware of. Until the loud sound of a door slamming shut breaks the spell I underwent causing me to promptly pull away my eyes shooting open. I look to the back of the room Beck standing there with his backpack slung over his shoulder; his expression resentful. It must be the clothes... I am after all wearing Kate's gray skinny jeans that are riding low on my hips exposing a bit of my abdomen (considering that she's taller than me). Then there's the white muscle shirt that I have on underneath the black denim vest.

It all pretty much screams _lesbian_...and he probably recognizes _these_ aren't my clothes at all. Or wait- It could be under the circumstance that Vega and I are still in this _intimate_ position. "Did I miss something," Beck remarks with a bitter grin.

I feel Tori squirm within my hold her body brushing unintentionally into me. Sikowitz clears his throat, "Yes well done girls. You two can let go now." Vega and I release each other immediately both of us taking a few steps away from one another. "I think this was a very interesting acting exercise! Wouldn't you agree class?" The whole class nods a few murmuring in approval. "Okay, girls you three can take your seats so we can continue."

We all step off the stage making our way back to our seats when I hesitate near mine. I stare at Beck who's still standing near the back door. He shortly remains glaring at me before he moves to take a vacant seat near the front next to Robbie instead of his routine spot next to me.

* * *

><p><strong>Halfway through Lunch<strong>

"Ugh! Stupid Sikowitz! I can't believe he made me kiss Vega in front of the whole class!"

"Well you didn't have to kiss her ya know," Kate dips a fry into ketchup and pops it into her mouth. "Besides it wasn't even on the lips Jade. So it's not such a big deal."

"Yeah, but everyone _knows _I don't like her. So it's like a red flag."

"Technically everyone _assumes _you don't like her- which we both know that's not true," she states pointedly and then proceeds to take a bite of her burger.

I go quiet knowing she's right; my eyes straying over to Vega a couple tables away. I watch her talking to Andre who is sitting next to her. I watch them all talking- everyone except Beck whose back is to me and who I can tell by his posture isn't conversing with the others. I sigh running a hand through my shadow black locks, "I just don't want people finding out that bit of information Kate. I should have never showed up to school today."

She takes a sip of her Pepsi, "It wasn't that bad. I mean sure first period was a little rough, but you got through it."

My eyes travel back to her as I shake my head in disagreement, "No Kate, I haven't gotten through anything yet. I'm not coming out of this unscathed- look at me. I avoided sitting with my friends because of Beck- _which_ makes it obvious that something is going on between him and I." I pause glancing at the back of Beck's dark fluffy hair once more before I continue on. My head bowing low as I meet her blue eyes and whisper in a hushed serious tone, "Either Beck will say we broke up or somebody will ask him what happened."

Her brows knit together as she mimics my actions by bowing her own head low and whispering back, "So you're worried about people finding out you two broke up?"

"No, I know that's going to happen eventually. I'm more concerned about what will happen when everyone does find out." I take another pause our gazes held, "Who are my friends gonna side with? What story is he going to feed people?" I straighten up my posture and exhale overwhelmed, "I just- honestly don't know how to deal with all of this right now..."

Kate leans back reverting to her previous posture, "What makes you so sure he is going to feed people a story anyway?"

"I cheated on him, Kate. Trust me after last night- he was so upset. I've never seen him that angry before... Beck's just like any other guy. Their egos get bruised. Boys may not exactly admit that, but it's true." She nods silently in thought. "He is Beck Oliver the hottest guy at Hollywood Arts. Girls from freshmen to seniors have been after him ever since he got here. You think he is going to be honest and say the truth that _I_ broke up with him; that _I _preferred someone else over him. No, he's not going to rest until he finds out who it was."

Her forehead wrinkles as her brows scrunch close together, "Wait you didn't tell him who?"

I look at her skeptically, "Kate, do you really think I was going to say it was _she who shall not be named_."

"Well truthfully yeah, I thought you were going to tell him the whole truth Jade. What I actually can't believe is that you just _compared her_ to Lord Voldemort." Kate taps her chin with her index finger, "It's funny I never pictured her as an evil wizard bent on total control."

I roll my eyes, "Very funny Kate."

A lazy smile graces her face, "Just trying to lighten the mood."

I shrug my shoulders a bit defeated knowing she's only trying to make me feel better. "Well consider the mood still pretty heavy," I retort back sarcastically.

Her lazy grin changes to a sad slender line, "How heavy?"

A pained smile forms on my own features as I answer back, "A few tons of bricks on my shoulders- maybe even some balls and chains tied to my ankles."

Kate goes quiet as she only stares at me with worry. My eyes are on her, but I get the feeling someone's eyes are on me and my gaze moves over to the direction of the stare. Vega's eyes catching my own even from the good distance of the crowded Asphalt Cafe.

Our intense focus is suddenly broken when a loud voice close behind me calls out, "Robbie!"

A high pitched scream follows right after as I begin to listen in on the conversation, "Trina! Ah- what- what do you want?"

"I already told you what I want, and you've been avoiding me!" Well she sounds pissed, but why can't the eldest Vega yell at Shapiro somewhere else? Why out of all places does it have to be near me?

Robbie stutters, "Uh uh- avoiding, no I haven't. Look I have to get going; I need to show up early to my class-."

Loud mouth cuts him off, "You see!"

"Excuse me?"

"Don't play dumb with me puppet boy! What did you think of my show last night?"

_She has a show? _When on Earth did this happen? "Your show um- I thought it was- ah very um-."

Rex finally chimes in giving his two cents, "You said it stunk." And there it is Robbie always screwing himself over.

"_What did that say_," Trina questions enraged.

"Nothing! He doesn't know what he's saying! He's on special medication!"

Rex's muffled voice replies, "I'm not on medication!" Robbie must have covered the stupid puppet's mouth.

A peeved Trina huffs, "Are you gonna write a good review of my show or not?"

"Trina see- ah I'm a journalist, and it's my job to write the truth," Robbie tries to explain and I roll my eyes. I don't have to see this to know he's a total train wreck. In fact I don't care that he is. I just want them to shut up already. "And to be candid I didn't think that your performance was all-ah!"

Robbie's startled yelp makes me have enough of this crap. _They are going to shut up now. _I turn around and immediately feel the contact of cold liquid meet the front of Kate's white muscle shirt. "I'm gonna say this once so listen!"

_They. Are. So. Dead. _"Okay," he agrees weakly. Are they really that brainless that they don't even notice me breathing fire?

She grabs the front of his striped blue and white shirt, "I worked my butt off on that performance, and you are gonna write a good review ya feel me!"

He gulps visibly, "I feel like I'm about to pee my pants!" _I swear_, I'm going to give them to the count of three before I launch myself at both of them. _ONE._

"Ugh you make me sick! Write a good review of my show! _TWO_. "Got it," she gives him a good shake before his eyes lock onto my cold wild orbs. His vision travels lower and I can feel my right eye twitch. "Ahh- Ja- ja-."

"What are you staring at," she questions displeased from his lack of attention.

Robbie raises a shaky hand to point to me, "Jade."

The eldest Vega turns her head in my direction her eyes growing incredibly large. She better watch what she says if not those fake eyelashes will be ripped off her eyelids without seconds more of hesitation. She likewise follows Robbie's actions and looks down to see the spill; her eyes quickly rushing back up to my face. "_Jaaade_ listen," she starts off awkwardly then swiftly takes off in her high heels yelling out, "It was all Robbie's fault!" She runs faster than I've ever seen her run in her life, and I gotta say my anger begins to deplete some from watching her get away in those excessively high-heels. However, Trina running away in 10 inch heels is not enough amazement to make me completely forget about Robbie.

I resume glaring in his direction and automatically raise myself up on my feet to intimidate him more. His scrawny form begins to shake more than before as I take a step closer to him. Immediately he cowers away flinching with his eyes closed like I'm about to actually punch him (which to be honest I could do, but I won't for his sake).

Instead I spot Sinjin walking close by. I blare out calling his name, "Sinjin!" He jumps in surprise, but rushes over to me even so.

"Yes Jade," he asks a little too close to me.

"Give me your drink," I demand still glaring down at a frozen Robbie; his eyes appearing permanently shut.

"Okay sure," he says with a mixture of confusion. I snatch the drink from his hand and pour it down Robbie's pants. Instantly Robbie yells out, "Ah! Ahh ahh!" His eyes flying open with alarm and clear behind his glasses.

He tries to run away, but I grab the front of his shirt like Trina did and let him bounce around on his feet. "Consider the favor returned Shapiro," I seethe with a scowl in place.

Robbie keeps writhing around, and I tighten my grasp on him knowing the ice from Sinjin's drink is torturing him. "_Please_, Jade it's so cold!"

"_Don't_ let this happen again. I guarantee you I won't be so_ civil_ next time," I finish saying with a phony smirk. He nods vigorously as I finally let him go: Robbie taking off like a rocket back into the school (most likely to the boy's room).

"Whoa- that was strangely attractive," Sinjin speaks up still too close for my taste. "I like fiery women," he flirts with the quirk of his brow and what's supposed to be an inviting smirk.

I grit my teeth a new target set if he doesn't move. "_Sinjin_**.** When I _blink-_ you better not be standing _anywhere _near me."

I close my eyes for a second and open them again only to catch Sinjin's light brown frizzy curls disappearing in the main entrance doorway of the Asphalt Cafe. I spin around letting out an agitated huff. My eyes landing back on the sandy blonde who's sitting at the blue table with an amused closed lipped smile. "Huh- that went well," she comments.

I roll my eyes, "Shut up Kate. If you'll excuse me I'm going to go try and save _your _clothes."

She nods a low chuckle escaping her, "Okay, I'll be here."

I leave Kate behind making my way inside the school and over to the nearest girl's restroom. Upon entering the empty bathroom I walk over to the paper towel dispenser and pull out a good amount to wet under the tap. I remove Kate's black denim vest placing it on the sink countertop to inspect the mess; running my fingers over the jean material to feel any stickiness on it like that on my chest. I grab the white paper towels that I also placed on the counter top and let the cold water soak them in my hands. I begin to pat down the dark vest a bit trying to remove some of the sticky residue left by what apparently was apple juice, from the reflection I see of myself in the long mirror; the white muscle shirt sporting most of the stain.

Afterwards, I try rubbing down the ugly yellowish splotch but it does no good the mark stays. "Great just freakin great," I complain to myself. "Only one thing to do I suppose..."

I cross my arms over one another pulling up by the hem to peel it off my sticky skin. I toss the shirt onto the purple countertop leaving me in only my solid black bra. I wet the paper towels again and start cleaning my pale flesh. Once I'm done scrubbing myself I throw away the soaked paper towels grabbing some new ones to dry off my chest and stomach.

Right when I look down and start to dry my skin I hear a gasp coming from the doorway. My head moves up and my eyes coincide with the same amount of astonishment as Vega's. She's speechless her mouth slightly open: I'm rooted unmoving and embarrassed. I open my mouth to speak words difficult to form at the moment. "I uh- I should have changed in one of the stalls."

I can see the way Tori's eyes are dancing over the exposure of my skin and the crazy part is I like the feeling. I like the way she can make me feel just from staring at me this way. My body begins to heat up and I can feel my cheeks flush. I shake myself out of my stupor and move back to the counter seizing the vest and putting it back on to cover some of my body. Through the mirror I can see her trying to collect herself her own face unmistakably red.

She clears her throat, "Um what happened?"

I turn to face her; my toned abdomen only partially revealed to her eyes now. "Your pain in the ass of a sister and dweeb puppeteer spilled apple juice over Kate's clothes."

Tori's brows go up in surprise, "_Kate's_ clothes?"

I lick my lips, "Yeah I had to borrow something from her to wear." She becomes mute her coffee brown eyes weighted in contemplation. "I spent the night over at her place," I add on waiting for her to say something, anything.

She blinks several times. "Oh," the hushed tone of her voice giving her away. She knows there is more that I'm not telling her, and a part of me wishes she would ask what went on between Kate and I. I know that she won't, but it doesn't stop the fact that I want her to be jealous. Tori's gaze shifts to the patterned white and light blue tiled floor. She changes the subject, "Listen Jade, about what happened this morning-"

"Don't worry about it Vega, Sikowitz is always out of his bald mind," I say distastefully at the mere thought of that barefoot hippie. "I'm sure no one suspected anything."

She looks up, "How can you be sure?"

I sigh running a hand through my hair the vest moving along with my movements and briefly uncovering a little more of my abs. "I'm not. I'm just hoping no one is." I stare at her and realize her attention is elsewhere. Her vision focused on my midsection and hips. "Besides it was just acting- it's not like it really meant anything, right?"

Vega's attention perks back up to my face. As she takes a second to process what I just said. She nods in response with a tight lipped smile, "Yeah." Not exactly the response I was going for, but what was I expecting for her to say that we have something? "Well I just came in here to wash my hands so-."

She advances forward stopping to my side at the sink next to me. I hear the tap begin to run as I stay momentarily still for a second or two longer. Out of the three other available sinks you had to choose the one right by me Vega? I turn to face the mirror reaching out for Kate's muscle shirt to fold.

The sound of the flowing water stops, and I observe her reflection getting ready to head over to the paper towel dispenser. I forget about the shirt and accidentally let it drop to the floor as I turn to my right offering her some napkins. "Here I have some extra."

She looks at me and smiles; a smile warm and soft that without warning takes my breath away. She takes the white paper towels from my hand, "Thanks." I can't help but stare at her as she dries her hands my insides feeling light just from the simple gesture. _Shit its butterflies_. The uneasy feeling growing as Tori walks away from me and over to the trash bin.

I watch her walk following the curves of her body all the way down my eyes lingering on her butt. I blink rapidly my body burning from desire. I hurriedly decide on distracting myself by starting to button the vest so I can get out of here.

I fumble with the first lower black button my hands unsteadily shaking. _Crap. _What the hell is wrong with me? Why all of a sudden am I feeling this nervous around Vega?

Her voice interrupts my thoughts, "Need some help there?"

My eyes come to rest on her again. "No Vega. I know how to button a vest," I snap in false offense.

She raises her hands feigning defense, "Okay." I almost get the dumb button in, but my fingers falter. _STUPID BUTTON! _ I hear Tori's footsteps coming closer to me, "Here let me see."

No, no, no! Do not come close to me right now! "I don't need your help," I retort.

"Really shaky hands," she quips back as Tori tries to remove my hands from the button to take over.

I scowl at her slapping one of her hands away, "Don't patronize me."

She slaps me back, "I'm not! Now hold still! Geez Jade sometimes you can act like such a baby."

"Did you just slap me," I say angrily in disbelief.

"Well you slapped me first," she counters back and takes the opportunity of my still hands to grab onto the denim vest.

"Very mature Vega. Who sounds like the baby now," I bite back and begin to wriggle trying to let loose of her hold.

She grunts, "Ugh! You still! Now jammit stay put!"

I growl in response, "Fine!" I stop my jerking movements and comply letting her work on the first button. "Gosh Vega you're such a prude. You can't even curse."

She finishes the first and moves to the second. "It's not that I can't Jade. Unlike you I just choose not to. I don't like it."

I roll my eyes as she finishes the second button now going higher, "I rest my case."

She pauses in her movements giving me a glare and I smirk smugly. I like it when she's mad. Tori starts up again on the third button this time only by mistake grazing the skin near my navel. My smirk wipes off my face within a fraction of a second as the unintentional touch sends a tremor down my spine. She picks up on it and ceases her actions again to peer into my eyes.

Our gazes locked; blue-green sparking off the pronounced longing in those coffee brown eyes. Before I can even come to my senses this time Vega purposefully strokes my navel with her finger. I swear I'm a goner as an unmistakable whimper slips from my lips. Tori's pupils dilate and I can see her former control broken when her eyes travel down to my mouth. Without another thought she kisses me her mouth attached to mine fiercely. I'm caught off guard at first, but soon find myself giving into her impulsive action.

She places her hot hand on my stomach only adding fuel to the fire. My hands tangle into her chestnut brown waves part of her hair brushing against my cheek. Tori's tongue delves into my mouth expertly stroking my own causing a surprising moan to escape me. I push her back against the counter roughly and she undoes the bottom two buttons. Vega's hands now roaming my fully exposed toned abdomen; her touch creating a rush within my veins, my chest- my whole entire body.

When I feel her grind against my leg between hers I break the kiss throwing my head back in a loud moan. Her soft lips placing a sensitive kiss on my throat that makes me wet. She begins to pepper the rest of my arched neck with kisses eventually biting down on my pulse point. My breath hitches as the intensifying heat between my legs only grows when Tori's hands sweep upwards to my breasts.

She caresses me through my black bra as she makes a trail of kisses up to my chin capturing me in another urgent lip-lock. I thrust involuntarily my thigh brushing on Tori's sex a sound of approval vibrating from her mouth into mine as she grinds against my leg in reaction.

I'm totally consumed by her, the way she feels against me. The way she floods my senses compelling me to give in when I least expect it- but how can I just keep letting her pull me in like this? As much as I don't want to stop I know that can't go any further with her. I move my hands from her hair to her shoulders and push. Her hands stiffen and I pull away breaking our kiss.

Tori blinks rapidly back at me her brown eyes full of surprise; our connection hindered. "Why," I whisper pained. I wait for her to say something; to explain the mixed signals she keeps on giving me. She stays quiet only looking back at me with grief in her watery eyes. Her hands fall away from my chest, and I nod back more of my heart shattered by Tori Vega. Guess I'll never know.

I separate myself from her and walk away buttoning the vest as I go. What little emotional control that I had this morning dangerously wavering on a thin line. I exit the restroom my pace fast as I make my way down the hall in the direction of the Asphalt Cafe. I'm passing Vega's locker and everyone else's until Beck blocks my view making me come to an abrupt standstill.

I furrow my brows not expecting him to approach me at all today. "Beck, what are you doing?"

"It's her isn't it?" The pit of my stomach drops from his words. How does he- Did he follow Vega? I'm literally rendered speechless too scared that he knows the truth. "So what, you wear her clothes advertising to the entire school that you're with _her_ now. You've ridiculed me Jade," he expresses with aching chocolate brown eyes.

I keep quiet for a few seconds understanding dawning on me; my eyes growing wide in realization. My god he thinks I cheated on him with Kate. I look at him in disbelief, "Kate? Beck you can't be-."

"Serious," he cuts me off. The pitch of his voice rising, "Yes, Jade I am. Ever since that Connors girl got here you haven't been yourself. She's the whole reason why you broke up with me isn't it?"

I look away from him and to the floor shaking my head, "That's not true."

"_Really_? So you deny that you've changed?" My silence is all he needs to continue on. "You can't even answer me. How's that for proof." The bell rings out in the hall marking the end of lunch and I begin to panic. If he doesn't drop the subject now everyone is going to see us and here what we are talking about. "So now what Jade? I've seen you try on many different roles before in the past. I guess dyke happens to be this year's main role huh," his anger finally surfaces.

I pick up my head my own anger coming out, "Shut up Beck." I start to hear people coming in my focus diverting behind him. The sight of a few students filing back into the school causes my heart to race.

"Oh defensive another sign," he remarks sarcastically.

My eyes dash to him and then back onto the crowd of students who have flooded in. All gathered into a small crowd now watching us. I clench down on my jaw giving him a low warning, "Don't do this here."

He looks over his shoulder at the bunch of people who keep on growing and I look over mine catching other students who have come out of their classes. We look back at each other his eyes narrowed, "_Why shouldn't I?_ You're the one wearing your new lesbian lover's clothing." He gestures towards the mass of students his hands spreading out dramatically, "You've basically admitted it to everyone here today."

I cross my arms and purse my lips trying to control my temper."You're making it really hard for me not to throw a punch at you right now. When you calm down which you _clearly_ should do, then we can talk. In the meantime _don't_ go around throwing accusations that aren't even true."

A familiar voice calls my name, "Jade?" I glance in her direction still keeping my eyes on Beck; Vega in my peripheral vision. She's standing close to my right a worried expression on her face.

"What Vega," I say under my breath.

"You forgot this," she whispers back just as low offering me back Kate's white muscle tee as obscurely as she can. I take it from her at a minimum pace trying not to land myself in anymore suspicion. Maybe most students don't notice, but I can tell Beck does- his eyes observant of my every move. "What's going on," Tori questions from the apparent tension between Beck and I.

Beck- "Stay out of it Tori." Jade- "Stay out of it Vega," Beck and I say simultaneously; his tone coming off irritated and mine surprisingly more discreet.

He stares me down for a few seconds longer hatred in his eyes before he picks up again acting like Vega never interrupted. "_Calm down_- you think I'm really going to take any of what you say with a simple shrug of my shoulders," he displays with an actual shrug. "That I'll just dismiss it and say its okay- No. You _cheated_ on me, _broke _up with me, and have been _lying_ to me," he counts off on his fingers. "If there is one thing I deserve it's the truth."

His determined pitch of voice keeps me silent. He's right. He does deserve the whole truth- but I just can't tell him...not in front of all these people. If he thought he could get me fired up enough to shout back the truth at him- Beck's wrong. I won't do it.

"Jade," I look behind me over my left shoulder in recognition that it's Kate saying my name. "Hey what's going on," she takes a step closer to my side in concern.

"Well if it isn't the dyke to the rescue. Perfect timing," Beck berates. My eyes dart over to him in fierce disapproval. What is he doing? Why is he acting this way? He's never been this guy- _a jerk._

I glance back to Kate her brow's dipping in confusion, "Excuse me?" The look on her face expressing her astonishment.

"Oh cut the act Connors. Everyone knows you're gay," he says with a brittle laugh and a superior smirk on his face. "_Everyone_ knows that you and Jade- are little more than just friendly." Beck's self-righteous smirk changes to nothing but a tight lipped line. I can't even react back in retaliation feeling too overwhelmed that any of this is actually coming from him. He breaks the quick pause."Can't say I'm too surprised. I mean you practically _look_ like a guy- so naturally your kind would confuse her. You know what-." Beck takes two steps approaching Kate. "I bet. It wouldn't even count if I took a swing at ya. _You sick queer_."

I feel myself getting ready to lose it and deliver a blow to his face, but something happens that no one saw coming. A piercing slap rings out before I get the chance to even lift my clenched fist. My eyes fall on Vega whose hand is stretched out shaking; her coffee brown eyes horrified.

* * *

><p><strong>So? What did you all think? Intersting chapter or did I totally screw up? Leave me reviews or any feedback you'd like. I'll take the reviews under consideraton.<strong>

**P.S.- College starts up for me again this Monday so I hope my life doesn't get overloaded with assignments and homework, but I promise to keep writing. The updating thing could take sometime hope everyone can handle that. **

**-Vintagegirl24 **


	27. Like a Rubix Cube

**Well it's offical, I survived the toughest semester of my college life...for now. Just in case you all have been wondering. I'm truly sorry guys that I haven't been able to update in such a long time. There was points where I admit I didn't think I was going to continue the story anymore. For different reasons besides school getting in the way, I've also been dealing with personal problems. **

**I want to be honest with everyone, so if things get worse at all I might take a break from writing the story. I hope you guys understand. With much love to all those who review and want me to keep going, thank you. It makes me feel a little better. **

**(And a special thank you to chase19 for talking to me these past months.)**

**This chapter is all in Tori's POV.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 25<strong>

**Tori's POV**

I'm buzzing all over my hand suspended out in front of me, the reverberation echoing around the hall. **Oh. My. God. What did I just do? **I stare horrified before me at a paralyzed Beck whose dark brown eyes are looking back at me muddled; mouth slightly ajar and the side of his cheek a brilliant shade of red. _No, no, no_- I. I just hit my friend...

Beck blinks, expression still rooted on me, and mine moving away from him, to gaze at everyone else whose eyes are equally glued to me in utter shock. I catch Jade's lagoon orbs the look within them one that I've never seen. A look that says, 'Who are you?'

It makes my insides clench, my heart race faster, the pulse within my veins throbbing loudly in my ears, and it makes me decide to run. I take off down the hall, people moving out of my way as I leave all gawking stares behind, my feet racing to find a place to hide.

I burst through one side of the double doors of the Black Box Theater. The door slamming shut noisily behind me as I stop running, and choose to take seclusion in a blue tent set up near the front. Sitting there inside that dimly lit tent I hug my knees to my chest burying my face between my arms. The faint glow of the Black Box lights the only source of light partially illuminating the interior.

This is the only place I can be alone right now, the theater being under some repair I recall. My thoughts wander back onto the outside world that I ran away from. How could I have done that? I didn't even try to. I mean Beck was being such _a jerk_ and I just- lost it. _He made me so angry_...the way he spoke to Jade and Kate. How dare he say those things to anyone?

I jump when the school bell rings signaling the start of the next period. I'm not going to class...it would be too much for me to face. I can't take people looking at me different- Jade looking at me like she did back out in the hall. I wonder if she hates me? _Really hates me._

Did she think Beck didn't deserve it? Or was it simply because I intervened into her business when she told me to stay out of it? The sound of the door opening makes me lift my head up; the muscles of my back tensing as I hear someone walking closer to the front.

"Tori," Andre calls out.

I don't saying anything letting silence be his only answer. My body remains stiff even at the affirmation that it's Andre. I can't let myself be known. What would he say to me? I publicly humiliated his best friend.

His footsteps stop and for a second I think maybe he'll leave. "Tori I know you're here," he proves me wrong when he finally speaks again. "Chica just talk to me."

Silence.

"I'm not gonna walk out of here and leave you alone Tori. You and I have been stuck together since before you officially came to Hollywood Arts. Remember the Big Showcase?" He takes a small pause waiting for me to say something, but I don't. Eventually he tries again, "Or how about your first day here? Do you remember that?" I keep quiet and continue to listen to him before he speaks one more time. "I'm with you no matter what you gotta say."

I sigh, an almost pained smile forming on my lips. Andre's one of the sincerest people I've ever met aside from Jenna. I touch my silver violin necklace in reminiscences. If there is one person I can really trust it's him. "I'm in here," I break the quiet letting him know he's right.

I hear him shuffle a step or two closer. "Are you going to come out or am I gonna have to join you," he questions good-humoredly.

"Well I don't wanna come out," I reply back feebly.

I hear him chuckle, "Alright make room. I'm coming in."

Andre gets on his knees and crawls into the tent adjusting himself to sit criss-cross. He stays muted for a second until he exhales shuffling around to take out his Pearphone from his back pocket. "It's a bit dark in here," he says as he turns on the flashlight his features flooded by the overly bearing bright white light. Andre sets the phone down on the tent adjusting the intensity of the light to a moderate level for our eyes. He smiles softly at me in attempt to ease me into conversation, "So what happened back there Toro?"

I direct a thin grin back at him in response to his teasing nickname. He started using it ever since Sikowitz called me by that name in class one day. My smile however does not meet my eyes as guilty tears begin to form inside. "I don't know," the pitch of my voice slips out lower than I intended.

He doesn't respond, but only watches me with contemplation. I look away and down at my legs which I've crossed in the same posture as his. "But surely there must be a reason why you left your hand print on the guy's face," Andre finally inquires tilting my chin up with his index finger and thumb. I don't look into his eyes though too afraid to speak the truth just yet. "I mean I was there- I know Beck was out of line Tori. I heard what he said."

He retracts his hand from my face when I take a glimpse at him. I fidget as I answer, "Then you know that's the reason I did it- that's the reason I _hit_ him."

He nods back in serious thought, "Well yeah, but the Tori Vega I know wouldn't do something like that without a _logical _reason. Beck's your friend, and I think there is more to it than that."

I open my mouth to speak, but close it shut unable to find any courage within myself to admit the wrong I've done. My nerves build only higher, knowing that I can't deny the facts that have lead me down to this point. It's true, but at the same time I wish it weren't. "Andre," I start with then pause. I lick my lips in uncertainty and settle with only saying, "It's just, so hard to explain. I don't know where I would even begin."

"Try," he replies gently placing a hand over mine for comfort. "I promised you I wasn't leaving." He waits on me to talk, but I still struggle with finding my voice. Andre adds on playfully, "We'll stay in here all night if we have to, and I know you Tori. You won't last long since you always gotta go take a waz."

I giggle an actual happy laugh escaping me. Andre smiles a toothy grin, "She laughs. That's a good sign."

I smile lightly in return, but remain silent the doubts in my mind holding me back. I know he would understand- but saying I have feelings for Jade makes all this..._real. _I feel the corners of my mouth begin to dip. I would be admitting that I'm the real reason why Jade and Beck broke up, that I've known Jade longer than anybody else has, and that I'm-. My sexuality would be called into question. Am I ready for all that change?

"You alright," Andre asks in concern and I feel the pressure of his hand squeezing mine.

I look down briefly to our hands then back up to him nodding in my final decision, "I will be." I don't have to tell Andre everything, but I need someone to talk to. I'm tired of having no one who I can confide in. "You're right," I begin. "I didn't just slap Beck because he was acting so unlike himself." I clamp down on my teeth; my free hand clenching into a fist from the earlier occurrence, "_He made me so-_." My eyes fall closed, and I draw in a breath steadying myself with a deep sigh; pushing away my resentment for Beck so that I can continue on. "I wanted to protect Jade."

I open my eyes when I feel Andre remove his hand from mine. His brows creased in confusion, "Protect Jade? Why would you want to protect her? Last time I checked weren't you and Jade enemies?"

"It would seem that way, yeah," I reply back. His eyes narrow in evaluation. "Jade and I- um...we aren't what everybody- thinks we are."

His forehead wrinkles further as his eyebrows pull closer together, "I don't understand."

I bite on my lower lip the difficulty of my next words weighing on me. "I've- I've known Jade...since we were both five years old."

Andre blinks several times his expression completely caught off guard; his jaw dropping open at the astonishment. "Wait, wait- you mean to tell me _Jade and you_ went to school together?"

I nod my head slowly thinking back on how Jade and I began our start...and how we got here to the present."Yeah," I sigh. "We were both a little smarter than the other kids so naturally we kinda- gravitated towards each other."

He strokes his chin this flash of insight helping him connect the dots, "So all this time when you came to Hollywood Arts- you knew who she was." I nod my head once again in agreement. "Why did she act like such a- pardon my language but bitch to you then?"

I run a hand through my hair remembering the piercing cold stare she gave me that first day, "She was angry." The look that radiated nothing but hate for me now has been absent ever since we crossed that line. "Seeing me brought our past back up, and Jade's always had trouble with letting go of things."

He laughs a relaxed smile easing on his face, "Yeah everyone knows that. Man I just can't believe it. _You _out of all of us knew Jade before anyone else did. That's like mind blowing news Tori."

I grin back faintly, "It's strangely ironic that we were best friends once...now her and I are-."

"Frenemies," he finishes for me.

A hollow laugh escapes me, "Not even that." Andre stares at me curiously his dark brown eyes peering back into mine. "You see Andre, the reason why Beck and Jade broke up- was because of me." I pause holding my breath for a second longer. "I'm the one who she cheated with." His mouth falls open and his brows shoot up comically high. Not a word comes from him as he only gawks at me with crater sized eyes. "Say something," I plead unable to stand the silence after about a minute.

He blinks a couple times seeming to come back from the momentary mental blindside I just confessed to. "Uh, so you- like Jade huh?"

My mind ponders the question; one that I've contended over in my head since that very first kiss. "I'm not sure," I reply a bit breathlessly.

"But you um- got intimate with her right?"

"No! Not like that!" I wave my hands in objection. "We kissed a few times...or more like made out actually, but nothing along the lines which you were thinking of." I shake my head and avert my gaze from him bowing my head in obvious discomfort, my face burning at the thought of Jade and I getting that _intimate._

Andre chuckles at my embarrassment, "Well that sure explains the whole tension you guys got going on for sure. I mean today in Sikowitz's class you two were practically setting off sparks in the room."

I look back up at him quickly. "Crap. Did you think Beck noticed?"

Andre's amused expression changes to one of worry. "Noticed, Tori I know he did."

I tense up my spine going rigid. "How?"

"You see right after class ended Beck stayed back to talk to Sikowitz. I had already left the class, but realized I forgot my Geometry book. So I went back ya know for it. When I got close to the door I saw him talking to Sikowitz."

"What were they talking about?"

"You and Jade," Andre pauses. "Beck wasn't too happy with the warm up you two did. He told Sikowitz that it was completely unethical and that it made some of the students feel uncomfortable."

I only nod not sure of what to make of this bit of information just yet."What Sikowitz say?"

"He told Beck that it was his class and he could run it as he pleased." The dark musician laughs lowly adding on, "Plus, his exact words I quote, 'Students have to prepare for the unexpected. In this case a lover's scene between two women. Besides don't you think Tori and Jade would make a beautiful couple?'"

I gasp covering my mouth with both of my hands. What! Why would Sikowitz say that! That barefoot hippie is making matters worse! I shake my head from side to side in refusal, "_No_! He did not really just say that!"

"Afraid so Toro," Andre replies with a sad tone to his voice. "I said quote on quote and it ain't no joke."

Any other time I would have laughed at his silly little rhyme, but the way he said it lets me know he's worried too. Andre usually always so chipper is more solemn than I've ever seen him be. My breathing picks up and I run my hands through my hair the turbulence within my chest escalating."My life is officially ruined. Not only did Beck see us this morning, but now he probably figures it was me!"

Andre places a hand on my shoulder, "Calm down muchacha." He holds me with a steady tight grip. "I think Beck so far has his target set on Kate. I'm pretty sure he doesn't suspect you, _but-_ I wouldn't completely cross that possibility out of mind." I stare at him gravely feeling an unpleasantness in the pit of my stomach. "After the slap to the face you gave him- I think he's gonna be asking questions." Andre goes silent briefly giving me time to mull over his words. He removes his hand from my shoulder after one more consoling squeeze an uneasy look consuming his features. He sighs, "One thing I will do is keep your secret Tori. It won't leave my lips. I consider you to be my best friend, but Beck's also a good friend of mine. Of _ours. _You know he's not himself right now. He needs some serious time to let this go, and then maybe he'll lighten up; won't see the break up in such a bad way."

"You think so," I ask faintly hoping that above all else one day this won't feel like such a huge mistake. Could Beck really forgive Jade...forgive me when he learns the truth of _my _betrayal?

He nods, "Yeah I think he'll accept it. Accept the truth when the time is right."

I sigh, "Thing is when would that right time be?"

He stays hushed giving my question some thought before he speaks, "When you and Jade figure out on where you two stand."

* * *

><p><strong>(On her way to her second to last class)<strong>

I leave the safety of the navy blue tent behind in the Black Box Theater. Making my way to my next class before the bell rings to dismiss the one that I missed out on: hope nothing eventful happened in R&B vocals today. Andre left me alone after our talk understanding that I needed some space to think about things. I had a little time to just breathe. To close my eyes and not worry about Beck or Jade, but now I have to face the different looks from students. I have to return to the rest of my day and brace myself for the questions that are sure to come from some people.

I'm heading down the hall near the janitors closet, about to pass the vending machines close to it, when suddenly I feel a hand roughly tugging on my bicep dragging me away from the hall and back; right into the tiny room. At first I don't see anything my eyes trying to adjust to the dark. Until someone flicks the light switch on and I squint in reflex; lifting my hand to shield off some of the brightness that has upset my vision.

I don't know what to expect as I lower my hand away from my face, but my already elevated pulse races higher when I'm met with dark brown chocolate eyes. Beck apologizes for scaring me, and I only remain in silence, fear keeping me soundless.

"Tori I'm not going to hurt you if that's what you think. Promise, I could never hurt you," he utters in a repentant tone. "Look I just want to talk."

I finally speak asking him a question I already know the answer to, "About what?"

"What happened after lunch...why'd you do it? Slap me," he inquires for an explanation.

I shift my weight to one foot and cross my arms defensively apprehension fueling my thoughtless body language. I _can't _tell him the real story. Beck's soft eyes are glued to mine his normal patience now returned; a drastic change from his earlier temperament with Jade out in the hall. "I think you know the answer to that already," I say firmly but avert my eyes from his to look down at the floor.

"Well I'd like to hear it from you."

The tone of his voice is laced behind pain, and an understanding washes over me that it has more to do from my own actions rather than his own. I reconnect my eyes with his settled to give him only a partial truth. "You were acting like a jerk Beck. I got upset. What you said to Jade, to Kate. It was just- utterly wrong of you, and honestly it pissed me off enough to do what I did." Beck stays quiet a guilty look on his face. I sigh in my own regret running a hand through my hair, "But I am sorry that I hit you. I didn't realize what I was doing till it happened."

He squeezes his eyes shut and tilts his head down, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Look what I said back there-. I was angry at Jade."

I shake my head in disagreement even though he can't see me. "Yeah, but that doesn't give you a pass to justify your means Beck," I remark back a bit bothered by this being his only defense.

He opens his eyes quickly letting his hand fall to his side and snapping back in an aggressive tone, "I know that!"

I tense up taking a step back due to the pitch of his voice being no longer calm. He keeps silent not able to look me in the eyes from his sudden outburst. I remain still too unable to say anything myself. We stay like this for what feels like forever, but eventually I swallow the lump in my throat and try to talk to him again. In a gentler tone I question him, "Do you Beck?" I let a small pause linger between us. Then add on, "I mean you publicly humiliated her in front of the whole school, and not only that but you-."

He cuts me short, "I'm hurt Tori." Beck raises his head our full focus now back onto each other. His usual joyful brown eyes brimming with unwept tears make my heart plummet in shame. "Jade hurt me- and I don't-."

Feeling responsible for his pain I apologize, "I'm sorry."

"I know that I was wrong. I'm not an idiot, just seeing her this morning in someone else's clothes-. I snapped. I made an impulsive decision thinking that Jade had something going on with- Connors."

"But why? She could've just borrowed her clothes Beck. It doesn't mean they-." I hesitate, the very thought of Jade and Kate being together in that way creates a surprising surge of displeasure inside me. "Slept together," I finish now tortured by the idea.

"Why not? For the past few months, since last year, I've felt Jade pulling away from me. She became more quiet, secretive- she changed," he pauses a reflective look within his brown eyes. "I don't know how to explain it, but it's just like I felt something was off between us...something was different than before. And it all started when that Connors girl showed up." Beck runs a hand through his dark mane a hollow laugh escaping him. "Ever since then the two of them have been inseparable. Where Jade goes she follows. So you see Tori, I have reason to believe _it's her_. She left me for her, for another girl."

I nod seeing his point of view, and yet I wonder would Beck feel the same way if he knew it was me.

"Does that bother you?"

"What," he questions distracted.

"Well let's say hypothetically what you're saying is true. You don't really know that Jade cheated on you with Kate, but would it bother you if Jade was attracted to women? If she were...um."

"Gay," Beck unequivocally voices.

"Yeah," I exhale with an awkward chuckle and a forced smile.

He tries to smile back, but I can see it's just as strained as my own. "Truthfully...yeah, yeah it would."

My forced expression begins to feel pained and drops slowly into a natural frown. Being with Jade would mean I would lose a dear friend, and hurt him in the process. "So you'd hate her and any girl she was with?"

He sighs wearily, "I couldn't. I may pretend to hate her, but only because it would numb the pain. I wouldn't like it, but I don't think I could ever _really _hate Jade. I'm in love with her, and it's driving me _crazy _not to know who she cheated on me with. Who could have possibly stolen her away from me?"

"You make it sound like she belonged to you Beck."

"No, Jade's never belonged to me, that's one thing I'm sure about. I've been trying for years to win her trust. To be let in by her completely, but I don't think she's ever really trusted me. No matter how hard I've tried..."

I can clearly see the sadness that I've caused him over his features, and it takes a blow to my chest knowing I can't fix this. "I'm reallysorry Beck."

He flashes me a weak smile, "It's not your fault. You don't have to apologize." That's not true Beck. If only you knew, I think to myself. "Listen it's all forgiven okay. I'm not mad at you for slapping me." He chuckles lightly, "Heck if I were you I would've done the same thing; you being an ill-informed party and all." I lightly laugh back in response only nodding in agreement with him. "But now that you know a bit of my side I'm sure you can see where I'm coming from. I hope this doesn't come between our friendship Tori. Things are going to be pretty tense around the group."

"What do you reckon will happen?"

"More than likely everyone is going to choose a side. Cat will choose Jade, Robbie and Andre will stick with me, and that just leaves you. Who are you gonna choose Tori?"

I scrunch my brows together, "Jade and I aren't friends Beck?"

He tilts his head and is silent for only about a second, "Really? It seems like you two were close this morning."

My eyes grow slightly as my terrified heartbeat races. I squirm in my place grateful to have an actual truth to my actions this time. "Acting exercise. You know Sikowtiz and his crazy ideas. He's been trying to get Jade and I to get along since last semester."

Beck nods, "Right. Yeah it just seemed...I don't know- _so real_."

I laugh clumsily, "Guess my acting skills are actually getting better."

He laughs along. "Guess so."

**(Last period) **

I'm sitting at my desk, watching the clock on the wall above Mr. Turner's head tick by agonizingly slow. I just want this day to be over with already. The looks I've been getting from students the remainder of the day have been a mixture of awe and dislike; those hateful looks being mostly from girls who worship the ground Beck walks on. Point is everyone is judging me, and not one person has even dared to talk to me since the incident.

It's not like I did such an awful deed, it's just Beck is such an admired guy around Hollywood Arts. Not to mention he made himself seem more of the victim earlier today, which in this case I wouldn't say is totally wrong. He is the one who was hurt, but he isn't the only one _hurting. _I just _know _Jade must be hurting too. That's another problem, most people are going to feel sorry for Beck and start saying things about Jade.

Not that they don't say things now, but it's different when that gossip doesn't deal with people fearing Jade anymore. Some of the student body will use this and call Jade whatever vulgar names they think fitting. She might not care too much or maybe not all, but the difference is I do. I care what everyone says about her: I've always been protective of Jade. It's like instinct to care for her. I've never stopped _really_ caring about her even when I was Ivy's puppet; I have only gotten better at hiding it from others.

My affections for Jade have gone unnoticed by most, especially my friends. Andre is the only one who knows some of the truth now, and Beck has been catching on ever since this morning. God...what am I going to do? Andre was right he did notice and not only that, but I'm pretty sure he saw me handing Jade the white muscle shirt she was wearing back when everyone was gathered out in the hall. Two slip ups that surely have given him reason to suspect me even just a little.

I bite the cap of my pen, Mr. Turner's movements on the board grabbing my attention. He writes by the word date when our homework is next due. Date? That's it! If I go out on a date with some guy Beck will lose suspicion! He'll move on and think I'm into whatever guy I am going out with! A ringing sounds in the room, but I don't register it completely, and that's when it hits me. The perfect guy I can show interest in. Ryder Daniels. He asked me out already before, and now I can say I'm ready for that date. When he asked about the details of our date back in R&B vocals I had told him I changed my mind, but now I'll have to be the one to ask him...

"Tori you okay," Mr. Turner's voice breaks my concentration.

"Huh. Um yeah, yeah Mr. Turner I'm fine. Why?"

"Everyone's left and you're still here," he says with a confused expression.

I look around the room and sure enough I'm the only idiot still sitting in class.

* * *

><p><strong>(Vega Residence)<strong>

I'm lounging on my stomach, on the sofa with my glasses on staring down at my math textbook. I tap my pencil on my chin thinking of what the answer is to the problem. I can feel the bridge of my glasses begin to slide down my nose as I keep on working it out in my head. When unexpectedly the door bell rings, and Trina yells out, "Tori door!" I roll my eyes; of course I have to get the door. I always get the door.

I sigh in a huff pushing my glasses back up and make my way over to answer. As soon as I open the door my own vision is drowned inside lagoon orbs. I feel almost breathless, but manage to say the sound of her name. "What are you doing here," I ask her confused.

"I'm here for you," she states with ease her expression nothing but casual.

"Me," I state befuddled.

"No Vega, I'm here for your sister. Yes you, now are you going to let me in or not?"

"Um yeah, yeah. Come inside."

Jade walks inside her clothes now her own. She's not dressed up, but I can't help but to gaze anyway. The dark blue skinny jeans that she's wearing hug the curves of her body perfectly, and her taking off her black leather jacket does nothing to help either. It only makes me grow more- lustful at the see through glimpses of her skin behind the clinging white shirt.

She turns around my eyes immediately going back to her face in fear that she saw where they were before. "I didn't know you wore glasses Vega," Jade says with a slight tilt of her head.

I smile nervously touching the hinge of my glasses, "I started wearing them when I was thirteen."

She crosses her arms, "They suit you." "You look...cute," she replies holding my gaze.

My eyes grow wide and I glance downwards feeling my cheeks being to tinge with blush. "Uh thanks," I look back up to meet her calm fixed stare. "It's weird hearing you give me a compliment. Usually it's just insults with you," I laugh lightly a bit abashed.

She straightens her head and chuckles, "Okay, fine. You look like a dork." A teasing smirk now directed at me, "Better?"

I only laugh and roll my eyes at her. She quirks her brows back at me playfully that seductive smirk still on her pretty face. I shake my head knowing what thoughts want to surface, and distract myself by walking over to the couch to gather my things. I can sense her eyes following my movements. "_So_..." I collect my math textbook and sheets placing them on the coffee table. "You said you were here for me," I question curiously and take my spot back on the couch. "Which honestly I have a hard time believing," I add on with an awkward chuckle.

She stays quiet blinking several times before responding back. "Why," she whispers very composed.

I furrow my brows, "Well given our history, it's not hard to be surprised."

Jade nods uncrossing her arms and walks over to the couch taking a seat close beside me. "After what happened back at school are you really surprised Vega?" I don't say anything. "Look that's why I came over. I wanted to make sure you were okay."

Jade's eyes hold mine and I can truly see the concern within them. She isn't lying to me. She's not trying to deceive me in anyway, and yet I can't help to wonder what her true intentions are. "But why? I mean if anything I should be asking you that question."

She chuckles throwing back my words at me in a good manner, "Because there's _history_ between us."

I vibrate with laughter, "Is that the real reason?"

Jade smiles brilliantly and it's a smile I have not seen in years. She used to smile like this at me, back when we were kids. "Yeah it is," her smile stays in place, but softens into something more as she continues to gaze at me. "And no matter what I do I can't seem to stop thinking about you, Vega."

My shoulders suddenly feel weighted down at her words; her gaze wanting almost dire. The only thing I can think to do is reach out to comfort her. I place my hand over Jade's and look at her with sorrow. I can barely sigh her name, "Jade..."

"I know," she acknowledges softly as if reading my thoughts. "You don't want to be anything more than friends- and I think we should try that." I remain dead quiet unable to believe Jade just said that. "I _want _to be friends again. I- I miss us..."

I gawk at Jade, my emotions overwhelmed at the unanticipated gesture. In reaction I let go of her hand, and without further thought throw my arms around her neck. I hold on tight feeling her arms slowly encircle me and squeeze back securely; my head falling on her shoulder. "I've missed us too, Jade."

Together we stay muted reveling in the sensation of being in each other's arms. After what seems like forever, but not long enough Jade breaks the silence. "There's just one thing."

I tense up in her arms pulling back just enough to get a good look at her, Jade's expression serious.

"What is it?"

She licks her lips, "In order for us to be friends again, and _just_ friends- we can't let what happened back in the girl's restroom today ever happen again." I knit my brows close together in solemn thought. "Do you understand," she asks her lagoon eyes peering into mine for certainty.

I nod in agreement, "Yeah, yeah. I think that's actually a good idea." I pull myself away from her leaving distance between us now. Jade's right the only way for us to even try to be friends again is if we don't cross that line anymore.

"You do," she questions somewhat with disappointment, but remains composed.

"I mean it sounds fair," I reason with a frown. I shouldn't have thrown myself at her like that in the first place. I hurt Jade, and even if she is refusing to completely show it, I can still catch a glimpse of the damage I left. "I'm sorry that I-."

She waves a hand dismissing it, "Don't worry about it. Consider this starting with a clean slate."

I manage a small smile truly seeing that she's trying. Even if she's willing to look past my indiscretion I can't, but I'm glad that Jade wants to reconcile. I look down at my lap my grin disappearing when Beck's words echo back. She notices, "What's wrong?"

My eyes drift up to her face her expression worried. "Earlier today, Beck and I talked. He asked me whose side was I going to choose, and then he implied that you and I- seemed pretty close."

"What did you tell him?"

"That you and I weren't even friends. He backed off a little after I said Sikowitz has always been trying to make us work together."

Jade nods an intense look now on her face, "So what does he think is going to happen."

I sigh, "Well he believes Cat will take your side, and Andre and Robbie his. Which-."

"Only leaves you," she completes my thought.

I affirm with a nod, "Yeah, I think he expects me to take his side Jade." My muscles tense, "That's why he found me. He wanted to talk to me about you and- Kate."

Jade's brows rise up in surprise, "Kate? What does he want with her?"

I observe the worried reflection in her eyes perceiving her fear that Beck might try something. "Nothing, Beck just figures that she's the one...she's the one you um-."

"Yeah, I get it." Jade swipes at her lips and purses them. "Well maybe its better that he thinks its Kate."

My brows scrunch up, "Why do you say that?"

"I wouldn't want him to find out the truth unless it came from me."

"You didn't tell him everything did you," I state knowing that's the reason why Beck didn't come after me head on.

Jade doesn't say anything, a mixture of guilt and hurt all displayed on her porcelain countenance. She opens her mouth to speak faltering briefly, "I- I couldn't Vega. The way he looked at me last night..."

"Did it go that bad?"

"Worse than you can imagine. I've never seen Beck so angry. It's like he couldn't even stand to look at me anymore. She pauses. "He hates me."

"He doesn't hate you," I try to soothe her heavy burden.

"You don't know that," she opposes certain that he does, looking away from me and down at her boots.

"Yes I do. He told me himself today...that he could never _really _hate you." She looks back to me. "He loves you Jade," part of me releases the words unwillingly.

Her eyes begin to glisten with tears. "I wish- I wish I could- love him too." She squeezes her eyes shut trying to suppress the tears, but I can see that it's an uneasy battle to conquer.

I grab her hand wanting to stop the hurt, "But you don't." Jade opens her eyes and shakes her head answering no; the pain about to subdue her.

I pull her into me, Jade's arms reciprocating the action by wrapping around my neck. She holds onto me tightly as I stroke her back up and down. I can hear the breaths she keeps taking to steady herself the feel of her chest rising and falling against my own, her body relaxing against me. It's an incredible feeling to have Jade's breast pressed so intimately against mine. My body wants to react more, wants to do more to increase this pleasure...this wrong. This heavenly sin that makes me want to moan. My hand strokes Jade's back two more times before my repetitive motions cease taking a different turn. I descend my hand lower exploring the curves of her side. The moment is filled with deep longing, but a calmer longing than before in the bathroom.

Jade pulls back slightly her body taut as she glances into my eyes, my hand stilling at her side. I can practically see the shots of warning going off in her head. The alarm in her eyes a sign that I should move away from her. This is exactly what she said we couldn't allow to happen anymore, and yet I can't seem to find the will to stop myself. I go further letting my eyes travel down to her plump lips and then back up to her lagoon orbs. She watches me attentively her own eyes mimicking my actions. We move in an inch closer a moment of indecision passing between us, as we both weigh the danger of stealing a forbidden kiss.

"Am I interrupting a lesbian moment here?" At the sound of Trina's voice we break apart quickly; my eyes moving over to the direction of the stairs to see my sister standing there with a confused look on her face.

"Trina," I chide her without all the words sending her a disapproving glare to let her know she shouldn't have said that. Does she even bother to think about what she says?

"What," she challenges me back with a quizzical look. "Tori everyone knows Jade's out the closet now. Question is why are you trying to seduce my baby sister, if you're with that Kate chick?"

My eyes bug out, "Trina! Shut up!"

"I'm only looking out for you, Tori!"

Jade laughs, a laugh I can't necessarily discern as good or bad, or even hurt. She looks down pinching the bridge of her nose before looking over at Trina and responding. "Not that it's any of your business less attractive Vega, but I'm not trying to get into your sister's pants so don't worry."

Trina gasps in offense, "Less attractive!"

Jade stands up grabbing her leather jacket, and begins to put it on as she makes her way to the front door. Without even glancing back she says her goodbye, "See you around, Vega."

She slams the door shut departing before I can get a chance to reply. I stand up thinking of going after her, but don't. I stare dejectedly at the door for a few seconds longer before whirling my attention to Trina. "Great you scared her off!"

"Me," she points at her chest in astonishment. "I didn't do anything," she defends with hands up.

"Yes, you did! You said all those things!"

She rolls her eyes, "Well it's true! She's a lesbian!"

I cover my ears, "Stop!"

Trina laughs at me not say anything until I remove my hands from my ears. "Stop what? Saying Jade's a lezbo?"

"Yes that," I shout back flustered. "Just- just lay off Trina."

She grins widely in amusement. "Wait a second. Tori are you having like..._lezzy_ thoughts about Jade?"

I feel my cheeks burning up, "No! I'm not! I don't like Jade that way! I'm not gay!"

Trina's eyes grow big, her brows rising high. "I never said you were. I just asked if you were thinking about Jade in that manner."

"Well I'm not Trina," I yell back defensively looking away from her and over at my school books.

"Okay, okay geez. Hey, but you can't be blaming me for asking. You two were having a very _lezzy_ moment on the couch when I came downstairs so."

I groan flopping back down on the couch, "Let it go!"

She shrugs her shoulders, "Look whatever. Only because you're my little sister I will. Can you believe she had the nerve to call me the less attractive one? No offense baby sis, but we all know who wins the hottest Vega award, and it's me."

I roll my eyes sighing, "Yeah Trina, I know you are hot and I am cute."

"Got that right baby sis." I hear her scampering back up the stairs briefly before her footsteps stop. I look over in her direction. "But _lezbihonest_ here, Jade's bad news from what we heard from Beck, I'd be careful if I were you."

I run a hand through my hair, "Just go. Now!"

"Okay, okay. No need to get all snippy with me, dang."

I shake my head letting it fall onto my hands. God what am I going to do...

* * *

><p><strong>So what did you guys think of this chapter? I know it wasn't one of the most exciting, and sorry that this is what you all were waiting for. Hope it wasn't too bad.<strong>

**Apparently I can't seem to make Tori and Jade resist each other, but at least now they are going to try to be friends, right. Anyways hopefully I can be productive and update sooner than before, but as I've said I'm struggling with personal reasons...so yeah. Plus, I don't have any ideas where or what point in time I should start the next chapter. If anyone wants to throw any ideas out there I will consider. Maybe it will get my brain a jump start.**


	28. Deeper Water

**So I'm surprised people have still actually favorited and reviewed my story, even though I haven't updated since god knows when. I have to be honest with you all, I didn't and wasn't planning to update. I actually was going to quit the story...**

**The cards life has dealt me right now are frustrating, but also overwhelming. I had to get surgery on my knee this year in May and still can't walk, so I'm trying to recover from that mainly right now. But at times I become discouraged. I've had a tough semester in college this year- so as always my classes and commitments got in the way. I was working on this chapter the spare moments I had when I wasn't crashed out on my bed. To make matters worse for me this year- my dog died recently and that has really put me to a stop.**

**Maybe to some it's not a big deal because it's a dog, but to me he was like a human. I miss my little baby and always will. But anyways to change the topic of this sad and personal info about my life (that you guys might not care about) I'll leave you to this chapter. **

**One long overdue and possibly the worst I've written. I'm not sure, but honestly I couldn't think of anything else to write. By the way the song featured in this chapter is called Deeper Water by Minnie Driver. Check it out if you want to hear what I was listening to while writing a scene in the story. You'll know when it comes up. Also I named the chapter after it, I think it fits Tori and Jade quite well. **

**As always I don't own Victorious.**

* * *

><p><strong>Chapter 26<strong>

**Jade's POV**

I throw myself onto Kate's bed already having a key to the house, thanks to Blue who said I was welcome here anytime. Blue and I actually talked, like had a real heart to heart. Turns out that all this time he wasn't fired by my mother. My father thought it was strange that a twenty-one year old man was still my sitter. So naturally him being such a concerned father figure (asshole) accused Blue of child abuse.

From that moment Blue had to quit. My father was and still is a man of power; he could have easily had him thrown in jail if he wanted to. Blue said it was the hardest thing he had to do, let go of me. He cared about me so much like if I was his own blood. Blue knew I was an unhappy child for the most part, and he only stuck around for so long because he saw the way my father and mother were, a doomed relationship from the start.

Hell I understand where he is coming from. He didn't really have any other choice. I'm just glad that by some weird coincidence our paths have crossed again. But I gotta say I think I owe it all to Kate. If it wasn't for her there is no way Blue and I would have reconnected.

I shift on my side reaching over to the night stand to grab a Twizzler. Kate has a bit of sweet tooth, which I find totally adorable. I get her candy and she gets me coffee, it's become like our thing now. I involuntarily smile at the thought. I shift into my old position my legs hanging back off the edge of the bed, my eyes staring at the white ceiling as I take a bite of the strawberry treat.

"Ah I see you already made yourself comfortable on my bed."

I smirk munching on the red sweet candy, and sit up watching her take off her dark gray messenger bag: placing it near her desk close to the room windows. "_Your_ room. This might as well be my room too."

She laughs her laughter now a soothing sound to my ears, to my whole body. "You know what you're right. Blue giving you a key to the house means my room is your room."

In return I laugh, "Basically Mi casa es su casa, right."

She grins, "Yup in this case my room."

I smirk back teasingly, "Correction _our_ room."

Her grin becomes a bright white smile as she chuckles once more, "Yes my bad." When her laughter fades a brief pause comes between us; her eyes on mine another countless longing look exchanged. Kate shakes her head a little, breaking the tension we always seem to keep having. "Wait, aren't you supposed to be in school right now?" I quirk my dark pierced brow and smirk guiltily. "Jade you aren't even a senior!"

I laugh at her surprised expression. "They should shorten the school hours. Besides it's not fair. Why should I have to show up to class if I already understand the material they're talking about? No need to waste my time."

"Look I get it you're Jade West, but what if you miss so many days that they decide to hold you back a grade?"

"Don't worry Kate my grades are way too high for them to hold me back, even considering my outstanding absences in some classes. I stay on my shit, so no worries."

She tilts her head, sandy blonde bangs falling closer to her eyes as she stares at me with very blue eyes. "You're that confident about it?"

"I'm like ninety percent certain. It's always happened so," I shrug my shoulders coolly.

She chuckles with a light smile and shakes her head in content. "Fine, I'll let you be." I only smirk back at her in response. "So why are you skipping?" My expression quickly changes into 'the are you serious look.' "I get the whole I know what's going on in class thing, but level with me Jade. What's the real reason?"

"There is none," I state simply letting my eyes drop lower to my charcoal combat boots.

"I don't buy it," she disagrees. "Something is troubling you. I've noticed it in your eyes before, seems it's always there actually..."

I look back, our eyes connecting. I stay quiet at first, can't help believing she can see past my mask...all of my fronts. "Don't know why I even bother trying to hide things from you anymore. You know when I'm downplaying things."

My eyes follow her as Kate moves away from her desk and over to the vacant spot beside me, sitting close to me on her bed. "Tori," she declares knowingly the one word, the one name that has monopolized my mind.

I sigh, "Yeah Vega."

"You know if you want be friends with her again Jade, you can't keep avoiding her. Wasn't that the whole point of you calling a truce with her? So you two could reconnect."

"It was," I whisper low thinking back to last week.

"Are you having second thoughts?"

I shake my head looking away from Kate and over to the wall, "No." I pause. "It's just...I can't stop feeling what I feel for her."

"And you want to stop," she questions trying to understand.

My eyes move back on her at her question. I give it some consideration thinking if I really want to stop feeling this way about Vega."I- don't know," I answer honestly completely confused. "Part of me wants to not feel this way because I just want the situation to be simple. I want to be friends, but-. It's impossible to _just _be friends with her...given the way I feel. The feelings won't go away."

"Well those feelings aren't going to disappear any time soon Jade. You and she have had history together, it's only natural that along the way you've fallen for her."

"Then why hasn't she fallen for me? Why doesn't she-," my voice quavers. I shake my head running a frustrated hand through my dark hair. "Sometimes when she looks at me...I _swear_ she feels what I do."

Kate is silent for a few seconds before she responds. "Maybe she does. She just might need time to accept her feelings for you."

My shoulders slump at the memory."Vega doesn't want to be anything more than friends. The last time we talked she made that perfectly clear."

"You know a person can say one thing, but there are telltale signs as to whether they are lying or not." I give Kate an 'I'm not following look.' "Maybe you should ask her out."

A brittle laugh escapes me, "There is no way Vega would agree to go out on a date with me. She'd have an anxiety attack from me just bringing it up."

"I don't mean an actual date. Just like a friendly date between you two."

My brows pull close together in confusion, "Still not following Kate."

"Say it's not a date, so that she's at ease. Then contradict all of it by making it feel like an actual date at times."

I blink a bit dazed trying to comprehend Kate's idea."Huh...what good would that do me?"

Kate smiles at me, a smile that shows affection. "You'd see how she would react to all those moments."

I find myself submerging inside her blue irises."Her telltale signs," I breathe huskily finally catching on. She nods, and I inch my body closer to her. My eyes gravitating lower and stopping at her light pink lips, "That could actually work." I part my lips getting ready to fully lean in for the kiss, when Kate pulls away disrupting the moment again.

She stands up and runs a hand through her blonde shaggy hair. "I have to get something downstairs. Do you want a drink, or anything?"

I blink disappointed once more, "No. I'm good." She smiles faintly and walks away leaving me with only that small look of hurt in her eyes. What was that? Why do we keep having those moments?

* * *

><p><strong>Tori's POV<strong>

I'm rearranging some books in my locker and other items that I should really get rid of from last semester, when a voice makes me jump. "Ready for our date?"

At first I squeal like a moron and back up slightly into whoever is behind me, my back meeting their chest by accident. A deep laugh sounds, and then I realize whose standing behind me. "Oh Ryder, you scared me."

"Sorry about that. I should probably stop sneaking up on you," he says and I can tell it's probably with a flirty smile. I blush even though he can't see me because I note that my back is still against his chest; the closest we've ever stood to each other.

I move away and turn around to face him instead, tucking a little bit of my hair behind my ear. "It's okay. I'm easily startled."

He smiles down at me and I return the gesture feeling a slight flutter in my tummy. "So uh our date," I question with intrigue. He stares back at me with a confused gaze, when I remember it is, "Tonight."

"Yeah did you forget," he questions with a surprised look.

"What," I exclaim trying to play it off and hope he buys my terrible lying skills (which let's face it aren't really skills then). I playfully shove his shoulder. "No! Of course not! I'm totally ready for it."

He laughs again and nods his head, "It seems for a second there that you forgot."

I grin and blush again, embarrassed that he caught that. Like I said I'm a bad liar. I don't even know how my acting is considered good enough to be at Hollywood Arts. Guess that's why Sikowitz says he is going to figure something out that will make me a top notch _actrrress_. He had rolled his r's; it was weird (now I say it like that in my head every time). "Sorry," I apologize softly my face feeling hotter.

Ryder grins clearly not really bothered by that fact, "It's okay. Just don't forget tonight."

I giggle, "I won't. Anyways where are we going to go for our date?"

He leans against the locker next to mine, and I adjust my locker door a little to keep my eyes on him. "Well I thought maybe we could go out to dinner first, then to a movie, and end the night with a walk on the beach?"

I laugh lightly, "Sounds very romantic, did you take time to actually plan all this out?"

He laughs in return and smiles broader. "Well yeah. I mean I want to impress you so..."

"You want to impress me," I reply back surprised and flattered.

"I mean I want our first date to be memorable. He scratches his head nervously, "_And _I'm hoping there will be a second."

I smile gently at the affectionate way he is looking at me. The moment only short lived, when I jump again hearing someone yell my name from across the hall. "Vega!"

Ryder moves his gaze in that direction and I follow, turning my head to catch Jade making her way towards us. His attention falls back to me, a look of dislike on his face from seeing Jade. "I should go. Seems like the Ice Queen is requesting your presence," he remarks sourly.

My brows furrow as he begins to walk away, "Oh okay. See you tonight," I call after him.

He turns around and smiles one last time, "Tonight, seven sharp." Ryder winks at me and finally disappears from my sight, as he turns the corner down the hall.

"What's happening at seven?" Jade's voice close to my ear makes a shiver run up my spine causing me to flinch worse than before. I don't know why or how I lose my footing, but my body falls into hers. Jade catching me by my elbows, "Clumsy as always Vega," she whispers again in my ear. There it is again another tremor up my spine, through my body. **Oh. **It's her. Jade's voice made my knees weak...

She pushes me away, "You know you're a danger to yourself and others." I stand steady on my feet again and turn around, my eyes traveling down to an inappropriate place as soon as I take in what she's wearing. Her black lacey top displaying a fair amount of cleavage that leaves my imagination fueled with desire. "You should invest in a body guard Vega." Jade's eyes roam over me slowly, up and down. She smirks seductively, "Otherwise you'regoing to keep hurting yourself." A pull between my legs makes my knees wobble. In order not to lose my footing again I place a hand on my locker to keep myself up. What the- _why body? _Stop reacting this way to her. It's just Jade...Jade who looks incredibly hotter today, like she sexed up. Oh god what am I saying.

I laugh late and nervously, but Jade just keeps her seductive smirk watching me with great attention. "So Vega what _is _happening at seven? Got big plans?"

I clear my throat a little uncomfortable, "Um actually yeah. I'm going out on a date."

Her smirk disappears and is replaced with a serious expression, "With Ryder Daniels?"

I sense some aggression in her voice. "Yeah. Is that a problem?"

She forces a tight lipped grin, "No. It's not. Guess you're busy so..."

She begins to walk past me and something inside me panics not wanting her to leave. I quickly turn around, "Wait Jade." She slows to a stop remaining with her back to me. "Was- was there something you wanted?"

She turns to me, "You have a date. Forget it."

And again she starts to leave, but I can't have that. I can't let Jade just go. "_Jaaade_," I whine like old times when she would try to shrug things off and I could not leave it alone.

I hear her laugh softly, and then she turns teasing back. "Veeega."

I pout, "Tell me."

She smiles modestly, "I was going to ask you out."

My brows shoot up in surprise and my eyes become larger with astonishment an uneasy feeling building, "Oh."

Jade's facial expression changes, one brow arching up in a confused manner."As a friend."

"Oh," I exclaim a little happier the uneasy feeling fading away. Why did I even think she meant it in that way? Of course Jade meant as _friends_, nothing more! I have got to stop reading into this so much. I mentally slap myself. She rolls her eyes, perceptive of where my thoughts were. I narrow mine in return, "I thought you couldn't be seen associating with me. Well at least not around school."

She crosses her arms and purses her lips, appearing angry with me at least to the common observer. "Maybe I changed my mind. I mean come on Vega we are classmates. We could have been lumped together for a stupid project; making me forced to talk to you."

I nod my head trying to hide my smile, but failing miserably. "I like that you went into elaborate thought about this."

Jade shrugs appearing aloof. "Had to."

I glance at my twinkling locker and remember what I was doing before all the interruptions. "What did you even have in mind," I ask moving back closer to it and opening it up all the way to grab my books.

"You know just going out to eat and watching your stupid sister's one way show," she answers me in her impassive monotone voice.

I turn my head and give her a quizzical look, "Really? You want to see Trina's play?"

Her pursed lips are gone, and now she only remains with her arms crossed looking completely unhappy in my presence with a bored expression. "Sikowitz is giving extra credit. Not to mention I want to see your disaster of a sister make a fool of herself. Someone has to record it and post it on The Slap."

"Ah," I nod. "So those are your good intentions."

Jade leans against the locker Ryder was previously leaning on and examines her black nail polish. "Well you know me always so supportive of others." I smile wide at her sarcasm. How I have missed talking to her this way. It feels almost like back then, but not quite there. "But since you have plans already I'll let you be." She uncrosses her arms and drops them to her side, pushing off the locker in a move to leave.

My smile begins to lower at her actions. "Actually- umm," she holds. "Maybe I can reschedule with Ryder."

She tilts her head, a little quirk of her lips pulling the corner of her mouth up in a lopsided smirk. "You would cancel your _big_ date?"

I laugh nervously for some reason, "Reschedule and I'm sure he would understand. You want to spend time together with me so-."

She cuts in, "Extra credit."

I hum in amusement, "Sure, and since when does Jade West care so much about school."

"Don't get smart with me Vega or I might just have to do something about it."

"Sure," I drawl out and Jade's eyes dance with mischief.

She steps closer to me: one, two, and no more room for another step. She's up close her lips only inches away, her eyes pulling me in, and I want to budge. I want to badly invade her space just likes she's invading mine. I'm so immersed in Jade that when I hear a loud slam right next to my ear I cringe and squeal loudly. Laughter following from her as I take in her pale thin hand on my now closed locker. "You're too easy Vega." I scowl at her and she only laughs harder. "Oh my apologies did I scare poor little ol' Tori," she teases me with her southern belle accent impersonation of me.

"I don't talk like that!"

She only smirks triumphantly at my irritation, and I roll my eyes putting in my locker combo to retrieve the last book I failed to do. It clicks open, but Jade's hand stops me from opening it up all the way. "_Jaaade_ move your hand," I whine.

"What's the magic word?"

"Please," I utter in confusion.

"Nope. Guess again Vega."

"Jade I don't have time for this."

"Wrong again," she smirks mockingly.

I groan, "I don't know scissors! Just let me get my last book. We're going to be late for class."

She chuckles, "Close, but it was actually scissoring."

"Oh your favorite movie."

"Yeah that," she nods. "Gosh you're clueless, but that's why you're pretty Vega."

I blush. Wait what?

"Although the pretty girl does go first in that movie," Jade spaces off for a second. "Hmm makes sense," she shrugs her shoulders.

Okay I'm completely lost in this conversation now. "What?"

She pats the top of my head messing up my hair, "Don't worry you're pretty little head Vega. See you in Sikowitz's."

I watch her walk away and turn the corner. And I repeat what?

* * *

><p><strong>Tori's POV <strong>

**Vega Residence 5:00 P.M.**

"Yeah, I'm sorry. It's just I forgot that I had dinner plans with my parents. We'd been planning this ever since my sister told us about her play."

I hear Ryder sigh on the other line in disappointment, "It's okay Tori. I understand family comes first."

I fidget with the purple pillow on my lap feeling a bit guilty that I'm lying to him. I change the subject hoping he won't ask me any questions. "So what are you going to do tonight then?"

"Uh I don't know really. I was really looking forward to our date, but now that plans have changed not sure." I frown. "I might hang with some of my friends, go out somewhere. I mean it is Friday so."

I laugh a little, "Yeah well whatever it is make it fun. Don't go to Trina's show, trust me the singing practice she's been doing at the house has made my ears bleed."

He laughs at that. "Wow that bad huh."

"You will be saving your hearing and yourself from a doctor's trip. The only reason my parents and I are going is because we have to."

He chuckles deeply. "I'll take your word for it then. I wonder if anyone is going to show up?"

I cross my legs on the couch. "I honestly hope not. I don't want people making fun of my sister, but she insists this play is going to put her on top at Hollywood Arts so- I admire her spunk."

"Well HA is about taking risks."

I nod even if he can't see me. "Yeah, but listen I should get going. I need to start getting ready. Sorry again Ryder. I promise we can reschedule our date for another time."

"It's fine. I'll be looking forward to that date." I smile a little able to know he is smiling too. "Bye Tori."

"Bye." I click end and sigh letting my head fall onto another one of the purple pillows. I should have told Ryder the truth, but why didn't I? Why lie about hanging out with a friend...with Jade? Maybe he wouldn't understand, and that's why I wasn't upfront with him. I mean earlier today, back at school he seemed bothered by the fact that Jade was coming to talk to me. Do Jade and Ryder have bad history together..._any _history for that matter?

"Toriii," I hear Trina yell from upstairs and I groan. What does she want now? I have been running up and down those stairs for the past twenty minutes trying to help her perfect her outfit. I get up and off the couch making my way to her room.

"What now Trina," I ask annoyed as I enter her room.

"Well someone's in a bad mood," she comments while moving across her room and back to her closet.

"No I'm not," I disagree watching her dig through her now tornado warped closet. Man she really made a mess, usually Trina keeps everything organized. Maybe she's nervous about performing after all, even though she said she wasn't.

"Then what's up your butt," Trina asks finally pulling out a tan sparkly shirt from some littered pile of clothes near the floor.

I shrug even though she's not looking at me, and walk over to her bed plopping down on it. "Nothing is up my butt."

Trina makes her way to the bed where she laid a pair of black skinny jeans and sets the tan sparkly shirt over the jeans. She looks at me her brown eyes questioning. "Really baby sis cause if I didn't know any better I'd say something's on your mind. Does it have anything to do with that date dad flipped out about?"

Yeah my dad wasn't too thrilled when I told him Ryder had asked me out and I agreed without his consent. He insists on meeting Ryder first and I know it's to give him a good scare since he's a cop, but my mom talked him out of it. Thank god for her, she convinced my father to have some faith in me. Mom definitely trusts me to make the right choices, and by right choices it means not having- umm...intercourse-. Ugh, blah! I sound like my parents! Okay never mind back to Trina. "Maybe," I admit a little hesitantly.

Trina pouts her mouth with a slight frown." Aw what happened, the guy cancel on you? Rejection can hurt, but it's nothing to be ashamed of," she pats my head feeling sorry for me. Then adds by moving the tan shirt over to a black jean skirt I didn't notice before, "Which would look better black skinny jeans or black jean skirt?"

I roll my eyes, "Uh no. Actually I did. Jeans."

She furrows her brows in confusion and shoots me a strange glance."Why would you do that? Wait who were you even going out with? Was it Andre?"

My eyes grow wide. "Okay first of all, no it was not Andre! Eww! Why would you even think Andre and I were interested in each other?"

She tosses her black skirt on the floor leaving the jeans and tan shirt as a match; her own eyes becoming a bit larger from my opposition of Andre and I being more than just friends. Trina protests, "Well you guys always hang out all the time!"

I shake my head, "Doesn't mean anything. Andre and I are strictly platonic." Trina shrugs accepting my answer and moves back to her closet probably in search for the perfect high-heels. "Secondly the guy was Ryder."

She freezes up instantly forgetting all about her shoes. Then quickly turns around to look at me with her eyes bugging out. "As in Ryder? Senior guy, super hot Ryder Daniels?"

I give her a funny look. "Uh yeah is there another hot Ryder Daniels I should know about?"

"_No_." Trina finally beings to move again returning to the bed and begins to strip out of her sweats and struggling into her black jeans. "But I think actually canceling on him was a smart move."

My brows dip down, "Why?"

She zips up her jeans and starts to stretch one of her legs out. "Ryder has a reputation with the girls around HA. Heck he has a reputation with girls at other schools _period_."

"So he's a player, is that what you're trying to tell me?"

She switches to stretching out her other leg."Pretty much, I'd be careful. You know my friend Lindsay?"

I pause not wanting to offend her, but it's the truth. "Lindsay doesn't like you."

She stops stretching for a moment to glare at me, "So I know her." Trina moves to the bed steadying herself on the edge of the bed with her hands as she lifts one leg high in air to resume her strange stretching. "_Anyway _she went out with Ryder last year. He totally broke her heart."

"He dumped her?"

She alternates to her other leg kicking up at the air this time, "Like with no warning just _boom_! Over!"

Hmm...Ryder always has seemed like a nice guy. "Well maybe he had a good reason."

"Good reason or not he still really hurt her. Not to mention all those other girls he's dumped." I stay quiet thinking about it. "Wait why did you cancel anyway?"

I fidget by grabbing one of her bedroom pillows. "Um I have plans," I say quietly squeezing onto the pink fluffy pillow.

She stops her bizarre stretching for a moment to look at me skeptically."So you canceled your plans because you have other plans?"

I nod still squeezing. "Yeah."

"Who with?"

I strain a small laugh, "Why are you being so nosy?"

She knits her brows together. "Hello it's me. Stupid question."

I sigh, "True." Yeah that lame attempt wasn't going to get her to back off not even an inch.

"So did you ditch him for some other hot guy?"

"Not exactly" my grip tightens on the pillow, "I'm- going out with- Jade."

Trina's eyes become comically huge and her mouth drops open in astonishment. "What!" She drops next to me on her bed "As in on a date!"

My own eyes mirror her actions, "No, not an actual date! Why do you keep jumping to that conclusion?"

She stammers, "Be- be- because of reasons."

"Which are?"

She pauses and grabs her own pillow placing it on her lap. Trina slaps her hands down on it and sighs, "Well the fact that Jade has joined the rainbow spectrum puts things into perspective Tori."

I lift a hand to stop her. "Okay one you don't know that Jade is actually gay or not. Beck just wrongfully accused her."

She arches her brow, "And you know this for a fact?"

"Well not entirely, but I know Beck has it all wrong," I defend Jade's reputation.

"_Really_? Well now I'm just really curious. So did Jade even cheat on Beck with anyone then?"

The guilt eats at me when she asks this. I can't stand to answer her by looking her straight in the eyes and saying yes, knowing I'm the one. So instead I look away from Trina and down at the pillow no longer squeezing it in my arms."Yes, she did."

"With who," Trina tries to divulge.

I toss the pillow in aggravation back near the front of the bed. Will I always have to lie about the truth, and how long can I even keep this up? "I don't know...she wouldn't tell me."

She nods in acceptance, "My money is still on that blonde senior chick."

"Kate?"

"Yup."

"How come?"

"It makes sense. They are always together at school."

Trina's right, if she's noticed and so has Beck- Can that possibly mean Jade may have feelings for Kate? But then does that mean all her feelings for Beck were never real? I shake my head trying to disapprove the possibility that Trina is suggesting, "So doesn't mean she's with her, and it _still _doesn't mean Jade is gay. Maybe she likes both or she's confused, I don't know."

Trina laughs, "Jade bisexual? No, no Jade is a hundred percent a flaming lesbian."

I glare at her running a hand through my hair, "Could you be anymore judgmental."

She sighs, "Oh come on baby sis. Listen I'm just saying the truth. The facts are there Tori and you may not want to see it, but look at the signs. It's her attitude, the way she used to dress last year to the way she is dressing now, like the way she was dressed that day Beck called her out on it. She's close to that Kate girl who happens to be a _lesbian. _I've caught her staring at girls before including_ you_ several times."

I blink rapidly, "What? Jade stares at me?"

Trina stares at me shaking her head and places her hand on my shoulder. "Oh my god you really are clueless. Sweetie Jade undresses you with her eyes."

My heart begins to race at the thought of Jade eyeing me sexually. Maybe she imagines taking off my shirt- my pants, and touching me where I feel-. OH GOD. No! My body needs stop reacting the way it did back at school with Jade. I gulp, "You're just saying that to make me nervous around her."

Trins shrugs and gets up moving to her dresser to apply her makeup, "Okay believe what you want, but I'm telling you she wants something from you. _Be careful. _I swear you always pick dangerous people to date."

I grab my hair frustrated, "I'm not dating either one of them! Especially not Jade!"

Trina pauses once more taking notice of me in her mirror. "Then what are you doing with her?"

"We- we were friends once, why can't we be that again?"

Trina gives me a sad look, "Oh Tori- this is high school now. Jade and you aren't the same anymore," she says to my reflection in her mirror as she applies ice pink lipstick. I bite down on my lip now in tense thought. Maybe she's right, maybe Jade and I can't just be friends anymore. Not just because it's high school, but because we're in unchartered territory.

* * *

><p><strong>Tori's POV<strong>

The waiter refills my glass of water and I reply with a polite thank you. I immediately start gulping it down like no tomorrow, so nervous to be on a date with Jade. Well technically it's not a date, but it sure as hell feels like one. She said she just wanted to hang out "as friends" but let me tell you bringing your _friend_ to a five star restaurant is anything but causal.

"You alright there Vega," she questions with a concern quirk of her brow; her lagoon eyes further magnetizing in this dim lighting. Jade lowers down her green leather menu so I can look at the rest of her flawless face.

"Me, uh yeah I'm fine," I try to brush my nerves off.

She resumes looking at her menu instead of me. "No you're not. You're nervous."

I sigh, "Yeah well it's because we are at an _expensive _restaurant that I can't afford. Not to mention I'm a little under dressed." I squirm in my seat looking at my red blouse and faded blue skinny jeans.

"I'm paying so don't worry about the check Vega. Get anything you like and you look nice so stop worrying." She remarks obscured behind her menu not actually looking at me.

"Thanks I guess. Jade, you know you can't just expect me to let you pay for all this. How do you even have enough money for this place?"

"I have connections."

"Oh...well I still think I should pay something. Even if it's just the tip."

She laughs her eyes still concentrated on her menu. "So is that the reason you keep fidgeting," she asks me without even glancing in my direction.

"No, not just that- the candles."

"The candles make you uncomfortable?" She still doesn't look at me.

"Yes. It feels too much like a date Jade." I admit honestly.

She puts her menu flat on the table and blows out the candles. Our surroundings only illuminated by the outside hangings lights. Jade stares at me and smiles tenderly, "Better?"

A soft smile eases on my face as well, "Yeah."

The young blonde waiter who seems close to our age interrupts asking for our orders. As Jade orders an expensive steak and shrimp plate I catch him staring at me part of the time. When I order a soup and salad he undividedly pays attention to me until Jade intervenes quickly denying my order. She tells the waiter to change it to the chicken and lasagna, which is equally as pricey as her meal. What is she doing!

When the waiter leaves us I begin to panic. "Jade I don't think it's worth getting arrested over this food!"

She rolls her eyes and sighs, "Vega for the second time I've got this. Stop worrying about the check and enjoy the view."

I take a deep breath trying to calm myself; I mean Jade has connections which I hope pan out well. But she's right this place is beautiful. I take in my surroundings my eyes sweeping over the deck we are out on: the hanging yellow light bulb lights illuminating the wooden deck, the white and pink-purple tinged lilies at our table, to the smiling happy couples around us. Some of these older couples dancing to the soft classical music playing through the speakers of the outer restaurant. At the sound of the beach waves my eyes trail over to look to the shore and out at the ink night sky, lighted with scattered stars captured in a colossal black trap that extends indefinitely.

"It's quite something isn't it," Jade's voice pulls me back in.

Her blue-green lagoon eyes crashing waves that wash over my body. "It's breathtaking, like a little piece of paradise."

She smiles gently again, "I'm glad you like it."

"Jade this is all wonderful, but I have to ask...why bring me to a place like this?"

She tilts her head, black locks swaying slightly from the cool night air. "You mean a romantic restaurant for mostly lovey dovey couples."

"Well yeah."

"Honestly?"

I nod my head anticipating her answer will be because she may...have feelings for me.

She sighs, "The food."

"The food," I question skeptically.

"Yes, there stake is to die for. I'm not lying; I love their _fucking_ stake Vega."

I erupt in laughter really not expecting that as her answer. She can't be serious? It takes me awhile, but after a few minutes I calm down. "You know I don't think you should curse in such a fancy restaurant."

"I'm paying them. Therefore, I'll do what I want."

I shake my head in amusement. "So you're serious? This is all about a piece of meat."

"Laugh if you want now, but trust me when you have a bite of my steak you're are going to want to switch plates."

I grin feeling more at ease now, "Well have to see then."

Jade nods in agreement with me a half smile on her face. A pause follows settling between us, the cool night air picking up and invisibly grazing our skin as we sit in silence staring at each other. Her lagoon colored eyes fixated on mine. I don't know what to say and from the looks of it neither does Jade. It's been so long since it has just been her and I together. She clears her throat and reads my mind, "Look Vega, I know that we-" she motions with her hands, "this won't be easy. Trying to be friends again is going to take some work, but let's just try not to make things so awkward between us. Agreed?"

I blink and nod my head, "Agreed."

"So let's talk."

"About what?"

She shrugs her shoulders, "Anything that you want to talk about."

I pick up my glass of water taking a sip then place it back down on the white clothed covered table."Um, well I don't know really."

Jade mirrors my actions with her tea. "Come on Vega, you were never shy around me before." She tilts her head and narrows her eyes in observation. A flirtatious smirk appearing on her soft lighted face, "Do I make you nervous now?"

I swallow and squirm in my seat at the way she's looking at me; her eyes roaming over me and down over my shirt. Crap! Is she undressing me with her eyes like Trina said she has done before! I feel my cheeks begin to flush at the possibility.

I laugh in denial, talk slipping out of my mouth too quickly and nervously, "Of course not. It's just you. Why would you make me nervous anyway?"

Jade shrugs her shoulders that teasing smirk of hers still in place. "I don't know Vega. Only you can answer that."

I shake my head trying to compose myself and hoping that she didn't notice when I blushed."Well you don't," I dismiss again more strongly.

Jade stays quiet for a second her head once again tilted in curiosity. "I don't huh. Hmm, I guess we'll just have to change that."

I blink in surprise. What does she mean by that I begin to ponder?

She straightens up, "You know what I wonder" she changes the subject.

I follow her lead, "No, what are you thinking of?"

"If you're still the same Tori Vega I grew up with."

Our eyes hold together intimacy passing between us. When I look into Jade's eyes like this it feels like I'm close to drowning. But I don't care- all I seem to want is to go further into the deeper water. Looking into her eyes is dangerous. You don't know if you're safe or in danger of becoming lost in those blue-green irises of hers. Never to return once vanished. I smile painfully because the thing is I'm not the same Tori Vega she did know then. I've changed so much after she left. "Honest answer. No, I'm not that same girl anymore Jade."

Jade nods, "Well I guess it's a good thing I didn't like that Vega that much anyway."

"Hey," I glare playfully at her as she grins. "I was your only friend you know that right?"

She chuckles, "Yeah don't remind me. You and I were so opposite of each other, but you never seemed to take the hint that I didn't want to be your friend."

I roll my eyes. "You just can't accept the fact that you actually need me can you Jade."

She stays silent a serious look on her face. "I'll answer that question when I know the answer." Her reply catches me off guard me, but I leave it as is not wanting to rock the boat. "But you're not the only one who's changed Vega."

My brows dip, "Are you going to tell me what happened after-." I pause unsure if this is an off limits zone.

"After I got expelled from Sherman," she finishes for me.

"Yeah."

"I think that's the only way for us to get reacquainted with each other again. To pick up sort of where we left off- even though that was years ago."

"You don't need to-."

"I have to. Need to for myself Vega."

I nod understanding she's serious about this. I can tell Jade's scared of opening up to me again, but there's something in her eyes...a need to be understood. She wants closure. Something we both have desperately needed.

"After I got expelled I pretty much had no contact with anybody, besides my pain in the ass home schooled teachers. For the rest of that semester my parents thought it was in my best interest," she air quotes my "if I'd continue my education away from others who I could be a potential harm to." Jade rolls her eyes at the memory bitterly recalling, "Daddy and mommy dearest thought I needed some mental help from a shrink because I was such an unhappy child. Makes you wonder why right," she retorts sarcastically.

"They were part of the problem," I sum up remembering myself that Jade's parents were hardly present in her life even from an early age.

She nods looking down at the table, her voice sick with hostility, "Maybe the whole fucking problem."

"You curse more than I remember," I note alarmingly without thinking.

Her gaze moves back up to me and she chuckles her serious demeanor gone instantly. "And I see that detail hasn't changed about you. Still have a no cursing rule Vega?"

I laugh and smile wide at her memory, "Yeah, but I can't stay mad at you. Just keep the cursing to a minimum will you Jade?"

A slow smirk spreads across her perfect face, "I don't know Vega I curse excessively. You just might have to find a way to shut me up-." Her eyes lower to my lips, "Physically I mean."

I feel a shiver run down my spine at the thought of her lips pressed softly against my own. I shake myself mentally noticing her stare lingering. To break it I pick up my glass and gulp (rather loudly I might add). I set down my drink and comment, "And I see that you haven't broken that bad habit."

She nods grinning, "Yeah I never tried so." A pause. "Anyway, um- yeah after the end of my sixth grade year my parents agreed to let me see the outside world again, finally unlocked my room." My eyes widen. "I'm joking Vega. I didn't have much freedom, but honestly I just think my mother got tired of having me at the house constantly bugging her. Hey I needed something to do."

I giggle, "In other words you got your revenge by making your parents miserable any chance you got."

"Correct."

"Then what happened after that?"

She takes a sip of her tea just as our food is brought out to the table. I thank the young blonde waiter who stares at me smiling a little too flirtatiously for Jade's liking. "You can stop drooling over her now. We're good here," she interjects rudely shooting him an intense glare.

The waiter panics and leaves without a word. "Okay before you even start to tell me the rest. What was that about?"

She begins to cut her steak. Jade shrugs her shoulders, "He was looking at you Vega."

I look incredulously at her, "Well yeah the guy has eyes, but you didn't have to be rude."

She laughs humorlessly, "I wouldn't call my behavior rude and you know what I mean. He was giving you a I want to get into your pants look Vega. He has been since we got here." She takes a bite of her steak moaning and I go quite feeling my cheeks flush as I almost drop the subject.

Wow she wasn't kidding when she said she loved that steak. "Ah- no he hasn't. Why do you even care if he has anyway?"

She takes another bite chewing before she speaks. "Oh please you know he has been checking you out. And maybe because I mind that he was looking at _my _date."

My eyes widen and my mouth drops slightly ajar."Uh- last time I checked this was _not_ a date."

She drops her knife and fork that were cutting her steak creating a noisy clatter on the plate. "Well maybe I changed my mind."

"You can't do that," I reply tensed.

She raises her voice a bit louder, "I do what I want Vega. And I say _this_ is a date."

I begin to feel my palms sweat. She can't be serious. She's just messing with me right? Yeah that's Jade; she just likes to pull my strings. I lower my voice in a whisper, "Jade will you cut it out. You said this wasn't going to be a_ date_."

She purses her lips clearly agitated, but after a minute she takes a breath and exhales my eyes unintentionally lowering to her chest watching the rise and fall of her-. _Okay look up Tori. Now!_ She nods slowly calmer, "You're right Vega. I'm- I got carried away. I just feel protective of you that's all."

"Why," I question rather curious now than anxious.

She tightens her jaw, "I- I don't want anyone to hurt you."

I feel my lips perk up into a warm smile. "Jade as sweet as that is- you can't protect me all the time." My smile begins to fade slowly, "Eventually even the nicest people get hurt."

She picks up on my somber tone. "Why is it that I don't like the way that sounds Vega?"

I grin painfully; poisonous eyes in my mind. "Look let's just enjoy our dinner. The food is getting cold and I'm starving. Plus, we were doing well until-."

"Until I messed things up," she finishes for me appearing guilty.

"No, I get it. You're just watching out for me. You've always have. Haven't you Jade?" I gaze at her endearingly as she remains hushed eyes glued to mine. "Is that why you did what you did back then? You fought for me didn't you?"

Jade doesn't answer any of my questions. She keeps to herself only staring at me pensively. "You're right, let's just enjoy the food." And without another word she begins to eat again. I mimic her actions finally taking a bite of my own meal knowing that was her way of dodging the subject. She's not ready to talk about that moment just yet- and that's okay because I'm not ready to reveal to her the person I became when she left.

* * *

><p><strong>Jade's POV<strong>

Vega and I are finishing up our dinner most of it in silence I might add. She takes a last drink of her water watching me with cautious brown eyes. The delicate atmosphere between us strained from my mistake. _Damn it_. I shouldn't have gotten jealous, but it seems when it comes to Vega I can't quite control my already erratic behavior. The stupid waiter was even too afraid to bring us the check so some waitress brought us the tab. I paid it all despite Tori's efforts to pitch in some.

As we are about to stand up and go, I recognize the melody of the song beginning to play over the outside speakers of the restaurant. "Dance with me," I say impulsively.

Vega looks stunned back at me unsure if she heard me right. "What?"

I almost want to take back my bold move, but maybe this can somehow fix my mistake. I sigh pleadingly standing first and extending out my hand to her, "Dance with me Vega" more sure of myself now.

"Jade," she speaks my name in a confided worried whisper looking anxiously around us at some of the people who have glanced in our direction.

"Please," I mutter low scared of her turning me down as I hear the lyrics begin.

**_Take me out, take me out_**

"They won't see," I reassure her with downcast eyes.

**_Far into the deeper water_**

She breathes in and accepts my hand, standing up and allowing me to guide her.

**_Show me how, show me how_**

**_For I have longed to love deep water_**

I don't lead her to the wooden dance floor of the outer restaurant. Instead I direct her toward the ramp connected to the outside that leads down to the beach.

**_I was washed up on the shore_**

**_You take me out in the water once more_**

We reach the beach still holding hands, sand beneath our shoes as I turn around to face her peering into her brown eyes that have already been engraved like a vivid picture inside my mind. She's just as intently mine as I am hers. I wonder if she can perceive the torment in my own eyes. If she can see how I long to be more than what she thinks I want, more than the friendship I try to force myself to accept.

**_Why you blue, why you blue_**

I shake as my other hand reaches out to take hold of her waist. But when I do she gingerly places her own free hand on my shoulder, taking a step closer to me our bodies now touching.

**_Did she bring you out here too_**

**_Wait and see, wait and see_**

I begin to move leading her as she follows me to the still audible music. We dance slowly together in the moon and starry illuminated night, waves crashing on the shore like the rhythm of my thundering heart.

**_The tide might bring you here to me_**

**_I was washed up on the shore_**

**_You take me out in the water once more_**

"This is one of my favorite songs," I say softly afraid to scare her away and out of my reach.

**_Slowly, I cannot swim fast_**

**_And I know, neither can you_**

"It's a beautiful song," she replies just as hushed with dancing brown eyes.

**_We'll float, let all the clouds pass by_**

**_You and I, you and I_**

"You dance well," Tori says with a shy expression on her face; her beautiful cheekbones standing out more when she smiles.

One side of my mouth perks up into a half smile, "Well it's just slow dancing."

**_Take me out, take me out_**

**_Far into the deeper water_**

"And- it seems to just come naturally with you," I riskily admit swaying with her on the beach.

**_Show me how, show me how_**

"Yeah- yeah it does," she admits to my surprise. Tori let's go of my hand, wrapping both her arms around my neck. I adjust to her movements by placing my free hand on her waist and applying a slight pressure to her torso.

**_For I have longed to love deep water_**

I can feel her pressed closer against my body and her hands delving into my hair massing the back of my head. We move to the song following its slow lovely sound.

**_I was washed up on the shore_**

**_You take me out in the _water_ once more_**

I stare longing at her unable to control myself...Vega look what you're doing to me. Can't you tell?

**_Slowly, I cannot swim fast_**

**_And I know, neither can you_**

She smiles with difficulty and I can't tell whether she's afraid of hurting me or being the one to get hurt. My grip tightens subconsciously on her waist and she lays her face against my chest.

**_We'll floast, let all the clouds pass by_**

I look down at her to see her eyes closed. She seems at peace in this moment and I wish it could last forever. Just she and I like this. I'm sure she can hear my heart crashing back and forth like the stormy waves that build and fall, only to hit with harder force when the ocean becomes impassioned.

**_You and I, you and I_**

But I know the song is near the end- and soon she'll wash away from me.

**_You and I, you and I_**

**_You and I, you and I_**

The song ceases and so do my motions. However, Tori seems too unaware because she remains with her head on my chest, hands securely around my neck, and with her eyes still shut. She didn't step away...

"Jade," she mutters softly.

"Yeah Vega?"

"Can you sing me that song? I didn't want it to end."

I smile affectionately, "Sure Vega." And I do just that continuing our dance.

* * *

><p><strong>Tori's POV <strong>

Jade and I arrive at school making our way to the theater with other students, faculty, and parents entering Hollywood Arts to see Trina's one woman show. I really wonder how this going to play out. I mean if Trina blows it (which is highly likely) everyone is going to make fun of her. She'll end up getting her feelings hurt and people will say they can't believe she's my embarrassing older sister.

Which doesn't matter to me; I love Trina embarrassing, high maintenance, and all she is to handle. Gosh I pray this doesn't blow up in Trina's face. Not only am I worried about Trina, but the students here might notice- scratch that will notice that Jade and I are sitting together. So that's going to be bizarre for everyone in the audience. I'm just glad Ryder is not here since I lied to him about why I canceled our plans. But what about everyone else! Crap what if Cat, Robbie, Andre are here! Wait Andre knows. Duh Tori, I recall our conversation about the Jade secret. I follow close behind Jade getting closer to the Black Box. My god...what if Beck is here!

As Jade and I are in line to enter the Black Box behind other shuffling strangers I scoot closer to her. I whisper near her ear, "Jade is Beck going to be here?"

She trembles and takes a second to answer me. "No. I heard he wasn't coming."

"From who," I mutter very close to her again.

"Sinjin," she mumbles.

"Sinjin," I respond surprised as we finally enter the theater.

"Yeah nerd does what I demand him to."

Actually now I'm not surprised, Sinjin does have a huge creepy stalker crush on Jade. People in front of us start to disperse and move about to choose their seats. I'm too focused on looking around that I don't pay attention to Jade in front of me. I bump into her back hidden behind her slightly taller figure. What's going on? Why is she so tense? People pass around us. "Jade?"

"Don't move," she utters through gritted teeth.

My brows furrow and I whisper even closer to her ear than before, my lips practically kissing her hair. "Why?"

Instead of answering me I feel her grab my hand very discreetly. My eyes dart down to see her pale hand grasping my tan fingers behind her. She sighs, "Beck's here." What! My eyes dart around the room and unmistakably land on the back of dark quaffed hair. _Holy chiz, _he really is here! But Jade said-.

My inner thoughts are interrupted when a familiar cheery voice yells out, "Jade! Tori! Over here!" Oh no. Cat! Beck turns around from talking to whoever he was conversing with at the exact moment that Jade begins to walk pulling me firmly with her and down the aisle where Cat stands; her grip on my fingers painfully tight. I can tell Beck spotted us across the room from his confused gaze, but I'm hoping he didn't notice Jade holding my hand. "Hey you guys," Cat greets us excitedly. "I didn't know you two were coming together," she giggles.

Jade narrows her eyes at Cat seething. Why does she have to be so loud? "Cat," I mumble, "Keep your voice down you are drawing attention."

Cat gasps covering her mouth with her hand briefly feeling bad for her actions. Jade and I just stare before she lowers her hand away from her mouth muttering in return, "Sorry. I get too excited sometimes."

"That's okay Cat. We don't have to whisper," I reply hushed to ease her.

"Then why are we," she asks with a little giggle.

Jade rolls her eyes and sits down in a seat leaving Cat and I standing. I stare at her and so does Cat. "Sit," she commands firmly.

We do as we are told both of us taking a spot next to Jade; Cat on Jade's left and me on her right. I look around the room catching Beck staring at us from the other side. He's now sitting with Robbie and Andre. Great everyone from the group is here. I mean it makes sense why Robbie is here, Trina kept threatening him to give her a good review. Andre on the other hand wasn't sure if he was coming, but I guess he made time. As for Beck- I don't know what went wrong there. I turn my head speaking low to Jade, "Guess Sinjin got his gossip wrong huh."

Jade scowls at me, "You know you're prettier with your mouth closed."

I take offense and pout turning my head to look at the stage up front. I hear Jade sigh annoyed and from the corner of my eye see her pulling out her Pearphone and typing. She's probably sick of me and texting...Kate. Jade must hate how this whole night has turned out. First the waiter guy continuously paid attention to only me and now all are friends turn out to be here including her ex. She must regret even asking me out as friends. A beep goes off from my phone and I pull out my phone to check it.

**Jade-** I'm sorry. I'm just upset that everyone is here. I didn't think they would all show up, especially not Beck. I'm going to kill Sinjn for lying to me."

At her message I smile and text back.

**Tori-** I thought you were mad at me. And you can't kill anybody."

**Jade-** I can do what I want including commit murder if I see fit. Mad at you, not likely. You make it too hard.

My smile grows wider at her message. Then I get another from her.

**Jade-** But I meant when I said you look prettier with your mouth closed.

I roll my eyes and see her smirking.

**Tori-** Shut up. You know you like my voice. You just hate admitting that you like anything about me.

I turn my head to my left watching Cat rest her head on Jade's shoulder. Jade shrugs her off as she texts me back; Cat frowning.

**Jade-** Is Tori Vega flirting with me? ;)

At her message I blush without meaning to. I am about to reply when Sikowitz voice makes me look up at the stage. He welcomes everyone and announces Trina's play cuing the tech crew to dim the lights. I put my phone away along with others and catch Jade still smirking before the room goes dark.

The play commences my sister's unmistakable voice sounding over the speakers.

**IN THE BEGINNIG THERE WAS NOTHING. AND THEN THERE WAS WOMAN! **

Oh my god this isn't going to end well is it. I'm affirmed of this when Trina descends from up high by distinguishable cables holding two travel suitcases in both her hands. I shake my head and turn to see Jade already pulling out her phone again surely ready to record the whole mishap.

I place my hand over hers and utter, "Don't."

She smirks back at me challengingly. I am about to beg her not to, but Trina's voice grabs my attention. She's at the center of the stage now unfastening her cables in a mixture of pink and purple wearing a dress, a hat, and coat. "Wow! I can't believe I'm here in the city of Chicago! Why anything can happen to a woman like me. Here in Chicago," Trina exclaims joyfully tossing her magenta colored hat.

"_Chicagooo_,_ Chicagooo_," Trina begins to belt out in song. _Dear god no. _"It's a city that's exciting! It's a city that's inviting," Trina sings and the laughter starts. I knew this wasn't going to go well! And by the look on my sister's face she has no clue as to why they find it so funny. Yet she continues on, "It's a city for a woman just like me! There's a lake they call it Michigan! I think I'm really fitting in! This city is my perfect cup of_ teeeeea_! _Chicagooo_, _Chicagooo_!"

During the rest of Trina's play the laughter continued on, but my sister embraced it turning her show around. I can't even believe it! Everyone thinks the play is actually a comedy! Well expect for Jade, she's not really laughing much- just smiling as she holds my hand. She's been doing that since the beginning of the show...I couldn't really help it either. Our hands somehow found one another's during that time- so close, side by side that eventually one of us grabbed the other's hand. But I don't even recall who took the initiative first. My thoughts zero back in on my sister up front as she tosses her crutches. "Take that Chicago! You're no match for a woman like me! From now on I'm calling this city _SHE_-CAGO!" The lights of the stage turn off signaling the end of the show everyone rising to their feet in applause; Jade sitting and I standing on my feet in support of my sister.

I'm about to clap with the rest of people, but I realize Jade is still holding my hand. She tugs roughly on my arm making me lose my balance and land on her lap. I gasp as she just quirks her pierced brow and smirks seductively; one hand on my waist and the other still holding my hand. Gosh I feel like she's the Big Bad Wolf getting ready to eat me. I can't help myself. The way she is staring at me so- so sensually keeps my eyes fixated on blue-green engulfing orbs. My gaze drifts lower to her lips and back to those eyes. I don't even realize I've inched in closer to her until Cat's voice alarms us both. "Oh yay! Beck's coming," she says happily jumping in delight.

I immediately stand up and off Jade's lap releasing her hand as I do. She remains sitting, but no longer smirking. Instead she's now pursued her lips and crossed her arms over her chest.

Cat- "Hi Beck!"

Beck- "Hey Cat," he greets her with a small forced smile. Before acknowledging me and ignoring Jade's presence. "Tori can I uh- talk to you?"

I nod, "Sure Beck."

Jade purposefully stretches out her legs in front of me in order to block me from following him. I give her a panicked silent look asking her what she is doing. She stares back at me mute clearly signaling with her facial expression that she doesn't want me to go to talk with Beck. I sigh rolling my eyes and cross over her outstretched legs.

I finally catch up to Beck standing off near the front of the stage. "Hey," I say to him good naturedly with a little smile.

Beck- "Listen, I'm not trying to pry, but what are you doing here with Jade?"

I glance over to Jade, who's sitting in her seat glaring in our direction very angrily. "Um- I actually didn't come here with Jade," I answer him back.

Beck- "So what were you two sitting together for," he questions confused.

"Cat," I remark turning my attention on him. "She insisted we all sit together." Hey that was partly true and not an entire lie! Maybe I am getting better at lying.

Beck- "So she just agreed to let you sit right next to her," he skeptically asks.

"Um, well to tell you the truth Beck-." He crosses his arms studying me when I say this. "Jade doesn't care much about my presence at the moment." A pause. "I mean after you two broke up she's been-."

Beck- "Different," he finishes for me.

I nod in awkward silence glancing back over to Jade briefly.

Beck- "Clearly," he affirms looking over at Jade as well.

I hear him sigh and I turn my head to him.

Beck- "Look just be careful Tori. She's not exactly fond of you."

I force myself to laugh lightly, "Yeah she'd rather throw nails at me."

A brittle grin appears on his face.

Beck- "Right, well do you have a ride home?"

I nod vigorously, "Yeah, Trina's taking me home."

He smiles genuinely this time, "Forgot that for a second."

I return a soft smile knowing what his next question would have been. "Thanks anyway."

Beck- "No problem."

At that he leaves and walks past me. I turn to watch him go, but am then faced with an even bigger ordeal. Ryder Daniels stands now a few feet away from me. "Tori," he says with a bright white smile.

"Ryder," I greet startled. Just when I thought things couldn't get anymore horrifying.

He steps closer to me. "So where are your parents? I thought you came here with them and Trina."

"Um well my parents couldn't actually make it tonight. They had to stay late to work. I think they did it on purpose honestly. And what about you, I thought you weren't coming to this thing?"

He chuckles, "Trying to escape the singing I would assume. Um...actually I came because I was hoping to run into you."

"Oh that's so sweet," I reply back with a worried smile. God I hope this doesn't blow up in my face.

"Hey baby sis," Trina approaches me from behind making me jump a little.

"Trina," I stress a smile giving her a why are you interrupting me look.

"So what did you think of my show," she happily waits for an appraisal.

"It was great Trina," I smile wide. "You were so good!"

"I know right," she exclaims proudly.

"Yeah, it was a great comedy," Ryder adds in making Trina finally take notice of him standing near us.

"Ryder," she says his name in confusion looking to him and then me. "Tori I thought you cancelled your plans and came here with-."

My eyes widen and I cut her off trying to save myself. "Mom and dad! Yeah, no. It's okay to be upset Trina. I know you wanted them both here, but _I'm_ here."

"What are you talking about," she further knits her brows. "Of course mom and dad couldn't make it they had to work. What happened to Ja-."

"I'm right here," Jade interferes in the already growing awkward and tense conversation. She's smiling smugly, which I know means she's up to something.

"Jade," Trina speaks "I'm shocked that you out of all people came to see my play.

"Honestly I just came to see if you'd screw up," Jade states bluntly.

"Jade," I scold and she freaking winks at me! At me! In front of my sister and Ryder Daniels!

"No it's okay Tori," Trina signals with her raised hand. "Jade's just jealous that my comedy was such a hit," my sister pokes the white tiger.

Jade laughs mockingly looking at Trina dead in the eyes, "Please the only thing that was funny about you're show- was your lack of actual talent."

I look to Jade (smug and angry), Ryder (quiet and anxious), and to Trina (hurt and utterly silent). I clear my throat and grab Jade's wrist pulling her away from Ryder and Trina. "What the _hell_ are you doing?"

She forces a fake grin, "Congratulating your sister what does it look like Vega."

"Okay, what are you upset about," I ask unclear of her recurrent mood swings.

"That you ignored me when I tried to stop you from talking with Beck."

"Oh my god! Jade! Are you serious right now," I inquire seriously. She doesn't answer, but only stares at me with anger in her own eyes. For some reason this makes me snap and I shove at her shoulders causing her to almost lose her balance.

She appears in awe for a few seconds. But then she licks her lips and pursues them like she usually does when she's very upset with someone. "Care to try that again Vega? Or do you not have it in you like your no talent hack of a sister," she sneers.

I don't know why, but she makes me further upset. The next thing I know is that I'm swing at Jade with my hand and I hear people gasp around us. But she catches my wrist looking me unwaveringly a hint of danger in those tropical eyes. "Oh did I finally make little ol' Tori mad," she teases me in that southern bell accent I hate so much. I glare at her not sure what I'm about to do next. I can't even process fully what I'm doing...the fact that I actually tried hitting Jade scares me more. She drops her smirk and tightens her grip around my wrist. Her expression serious, "You're going to have to come at me with a lot more than that."

We scowl at each other, before someone approaches us and clears their throat. I look to them and see Ryder and Trina close beside us. "Is there a problem," Ryder directs at Jade trying to come to my rescue.

She smirks bitterly looking to me and then at Ryder with disgust, "No, no there is absolutely no problem.

Ryder- "Well do you mind releasing her wrist," he states more defensively than asks.

Jade laughs mirthlessly looking at Ryder then to me, "Looks like you've got yourself a real white knight here Vega." She brushes her thumb over my still clenched wrist before releasing her hold on me. And I swear for some reason I want to beg her to hold me roughly like that again, but I don't- I can't. She glances at me one last time holding my gaze before she leaves. And I can't even stop her from that.

What did I do I think to myself as Jade walks out the door. The people left in the Black Box clearly had watched the whole scene.

* * *

><p><strong>Jade's POV<strong>

"I can't fucking believe I'm going through with this," I utter to myself in the cool night air. Well I'm out the damn car and I didn't drive all this way for nothing. I tread carefully on the green lawn of the house and look at the windows. _Shit. _I don't even know which window is hers. Okay West keep calm and just think this through; although if I'd really thought this through I wouldn't be in this predicament right now. _Shit. _What if I get caught? Or worse someone sees me and calls the cops thinking I'm breaking in.

Ugh, I'm overthinking this. It's not fucking physics. Okay let's see...the bottom window (which I should really get away from) because that has to be the master bedroom. I move away and look up at the three windows of the two level house. Great, I can't catch a break. Alright one out and three left to choose from. Wait! Is that one open! I walk to that one window watching purple curtains sway in the playful wind. "Vega," I whisper with a smirk on my face.

I'm about to try and climb up to the window, but then an idea occurs to me. West, you fuck up. Why not just use the damn door! I can pick the lock! That would be hundred times easier! I mean there is the possibility that the Vegas' have an alarm, but I don't think they do. No, if I recall right when I was at Vega's house that one time I never spotted some alarm system box. I leave the backyard immediately feeling stupid for wasting time. I go to the front of the house as quietly as I can. Once I'm at the front door another epiphany hits me. I don't even have to pick the lock; Vega must have a spare key to the house hidden around here somewhere. But since I find it more fun to use my felon skills I'll do just that. I pick the lock in less than a minute with a typical bobby pin that I tend to keep on me.

I slowly ease the door open no alarm going off. I step inside the dark doorway no lights to guide me. Okay, I'm fine. Just take light steps, don't bump into anything, and-. Duh, I pull out my phone and use the flashlight. So I'm a little tense big deal. I have just technically broken into Vega's house and her father happens to be a fucking cop and so it's nothing really. I'd just face some juvie.

Alright I close the door behind me as softly as I can, locking the door because there are _real _freaks out there. I begin to move and stealthily climb the stairs to the house. No steps creak which is great for me. Once I'm at the top step the dark hallway awaits me. Just a little further West. I tread light with my boots and remember which window position would fit to be Vega's room. I pass one room possibly where the monster (older Vega) sleeps, an open guest room that I look into before heading to the last room on the left.

The closer I get to her room the more I can feel my heart race. I stop at the white door my hand hovering over the door knob. For a moment I contemplate just leaving altogether, but instead I turn off the flashlight and put away my phone. I want this- I _need _to make things right.

With my mind made up my hand closes over the cool knob and I begin to turn it gradually. I carefully push the door open little by little enough for me to slip in undetected by any loud creaking. I close the door just as cautiously and turn to see the lavender curtains still dancing.

My eyes adjust to the darkness of the room the only light streaming in from the moon outside and a lava lamp on the corner of her dresser. Figures she uses it as her night light, I smirk to myself. I look around her room trying to take it all in before I approach her bed. I lick my lips and decide to move forward my chest tight. As I step closer I begin to see the outline of her form covered by her purple and white blankets. Right at the edge I am, looking down at her now sleeping so contently. Vega's brown hair on her pillow, eyes shut relaxed, her breathing steady. She looks so- "Beautiful," I say out loud breathlessly.

I stare at her quietly for some time not wanting to wake her. Heck I want to slip right into bed with her and just hold her- touch her like I've been dreaming of, light and then passionate. She stirs in her sleep and my eyes widen thinking she's about to wake up, but no she only clutches her other pillow closer.

"Jade," she mumbles in her sleep. _Whoa. _Well what do we have here? Is Vega having a dream about me? She coherently mumbles again, "Jade, touch me." My mouth drops. _Holy shit. _ Apparently it's a dirty dream at that. "Please," she whimpers in her sleep and I feel a tightening where I probably shouldn't.

I stretch out my hand doing as she wants me to my fingertips lightly touching her exposed tan shoulder and running over her skin in slow circles. She breathes evenly no longer talking in her sleep. But it doesn't stop me from taking things further. I slide back her covers gently exposing more of her. She's wearing a plum colored baggy shirt that's displaying part of her smooth stomach and gray shorts. My fingertips continue running over her shoulder and then trace over a part of her collarbone. What would she do if I run my hand under her shirt I wonder?

I grin knowing if she wakes up she'll freak out. Perfect. I stop caressing her on her collarbone and move my hand lower. I place my cold digits on her uncovered flesh and start to run my fingers up and under her shirt; my palm fully against her incredibly soft skin. Vega moans in her sleep and a pleasure surges through me as my nails dig into her skin. Her eyes instantly shoot open in fear and I just know she's going to scream. So before she gets the chance to wake up her father I cover her mouth with my free hand and straddle her waist.

She looks back into my eyes terrified and I think begins to realize it's me on top of her. "Don't scream," I say low.

She nods with deer eyes. I remove my hand from her mouth letting her breathe. "Jade," she hisses. "What are you doing here!" I glance at her window and she follows my gaze. "Did you climb in through my window you lunatic," she asks clearly still very startled.

I smirk down at her, "No, I broke in."

Her eyes bug out and I can't help but to laugh. "And that's suppose to make me feel better," she exclaims in a whisper.

I shrug my shoulders coolly, "Yeah."

"Jade!"

I roll my eyes, "Relax Vega, I'm not here to murder you in your sleep. You're awake now so I can't."

She slaps my arm, "Oh so someone's a little feisty." She glares at me and I keep my seductive smirk, "I'm not surprised after all you where begging for me to touch you in your sleep."

Her eyes show a different kind of fear now as she finally acknowledges the situation we're in. "Get off of me," she orders without much power. I hesitate, but do as she wishes watching her worried expression. I sit on the edge of her bed now waiting for her to speak. She sits up and bites her lip changing the subject about me bringing up her dream. "So why did you break into my house at," she checks her phone "two a.m."

"I didn't want to leave things the way they ended back at school."

She nods, "Right, you mean the part where I almost hit you. If so I didn't even _actually _slap you," she starts defending herself.

I chuckle at her panic, "No, Vega I'm not here about that."

"Really," she says surprised.

"Yup," I nod. "I'm here to apologize."

"You're going to apologize," she replies in disbelief.

"The way I acted back there at the Black Box wasn't because I was actually angry with you for talking to Beck." Another skeptical look crosses over her features. "Well okay I was kinda mad about that, but I only said that stuff about your sister because it was obvious you were about to drown in your own lies." She stays quiet. "You lied to Ryder about the real reason why you canceled your _date _with him, didn't you."

And guilty as charged Vega fidgets with her nearby pillow admitting the truth. "I might have not mentioned that you and I were hanging out tonight."

"Why if we're just friends," I counter with a confident grin.

She opens her mouth then closes it seemingly without a straight answer. "Because I wanted to spend time with you," she only half tells the truth, but I leave it at that. "And he doesn't need to know my plans with my friends. Ryder Daniels is not my boyfriend."

I shrug, "Fair enough. How's that thing that's shockingly related to you anyway? I didn't mean to hurt her you know. I thought if I acted more like a bitch it would send the right message to other people, wouldn't give us away."

She rolls her eyes and laughs, "You know you're not sorry about Trina. The other stuff that happened maybe, but definitely not about my sister. You meant what you said."

"I'm a truth teller what can I say."

She laughs the way I like to hear her laugh, "You're never going to let the scissors incident go are you?"

"She broke my scissors. So no I won't let it go."

Tori smiles wider and I can only stare now at such a beautiful smile as hers. I never forgot her smile not once in all those years that we lost contact, but- somehow her smile now does not measure up to those distant memories. It's even better than before. "Is that the only reason you came here tonight," she asks with innocent brown eyes.

"Well I was going to draw a mustache on your face while you were sleeping." She pushes at my shoulder playfully and a lazy grin eases its way onto my face. "Watch it Vega, you don't want to repeat what happened back at school do you."

"Hey you egged me on, and how did you even know I would react that way."

"Well you're patient, but I've figured out you've got a broken fuse Vega. A little temper in there that you try to keep buried."

She nods looking down again at her sheets embarrassed, "Sometimes I do."

"It's okay you know-." She looks up "To get angry. Your temper is better than mine that's for sure."

"You've got a lot to be angry about Jade."

"Doesn't justify my actions when I do snap, but thanks. Listen can I stay here a little longer. I'm a bit sleepy and don't want to risk driving right at this moment."

She smiles, "Not at all. Where did you even park?"

"Not in front of your house," I remark.

She laughs, "It's because of my dad right?"

"Yeah juvie is not a place I want to be. Orange isn't exactly my color."

She smiles wide, "Make yourself comfortable you don't have to sit on the edge of the bed."

I smile back and begin to take off my boots along with my black leather jacket, leaving them both on the ground. She scoots over lifting the covers inviting me under them. I hesitate for only a second and then slip under the purple and white blankets. I lay on my back first staring at the white ceiling in silence. But I can feel Vega watching me, and when I turn my head to look at her all she does is gaze back at me with a tender half smile.

I feel the sudden urge to kiss her, but I don't. If I did decide to act on my feelings not only would she freak out, but this whole night would have been for nothing. And sure it was not perfect, but its progress between her and I. So I fight back the longing that burns in my chest, keeping the fire low to ensure I don't get burned.

For the rest of that night/morning we talk about old memories and stories, reliving the years we managed to spend together. I even answer Vega's earlier question that I avoided back at the restaurant about Ivy. I admit to her that she was the reason why I even took the first swing at Ivy. She asks me why and my answer is simple. "I'd always fight for you Vega."

She gazes at me with friendly affection, but I'm hoping one day she'll want more than that. Tori yawns and I realize we must have been talking for hours already. "Jade," she says sleepily.

"Hmm."

"Sing me that song," she asks with tired brown eyes.

"Sure Vega," I grin back lazily and then begin to sing to her softly:

**_Take me out, take me out_**

**_Far into the deeper water_**

**_Show me how, show me how_**

**_For I have longed to love deep water_**

Vega's eyes begin to close and I continue the song.

**_I was washed up on the shore_**

**_You take me out in the water once more_**

**_Why you blue, why you blue_**

**_Did she bring you out here too_**

**_Wait and see, wait and see_**

**_The tide might bring you here to me_**

**_I was washed up on the shore_**

**_You take me out in the water once more_**

**_Slowly, I cannot swim fast_**

**_And I know, neither can you_**

**_We'll float, let all the clouds pass by_**

**_You and I, you and I_**

Her eyes close fully and I finish part of the lullaby watching her breathe in peaceful sleep before I myself fade with her.

* * *

><p><strong>What did you all think? Was this chapter a let down? If so I'm sorry I really did try my best on it- but I've had a lack of inspiration as of late. I also wish I could say I'm going to continue this story no matter what- however, I'm not a lier. I may or may not write this story anymore. If I do well then suprise with a new update right.<strong>

**If I'm really calling it quits then I'll post an author's note. Thank you to everyone who has reviewed and that has stuck around for this story. Unfortunately, I'm sorry that I can't be a greater writer...**

**Truly I appreciate those who take the time to write encouraging words. **


	29. Last Author's Note

Hello everyone,

I know some have probably been waiting forever for an update, but I have bad news. I won't be continuing this story anymore. As much as I didn't want to give it up part of me knows it's time to put it behind me. This story was very important to me during a time that I was trying to understand my own feelings for a girl I was in love with. Now I can only be honest with all of you. I no longer feel the way I used to, I'm not in love anymore. In these past few years I've changed. We all do. We think we are going to hold on to certain people forever, the memories they've brought us— but when you're ready to let go you just do without even realizing it.

I just held on too long and this story is a part of the old me. I've tried to write the next chapter since last year, and it has amounted to nothing but an uncompleted story. At first it really bothered me. I didn't want to give up like I've given up on other personal matters. But that's just life in reality. Most of our greatest loves, whether it be a person, a story, or a piece of art are sometimes left alone because we can no longer find the ending. Life is filled with uncompleted stories and once in a while you catch yourself thinking about them— what could have been.

So sincerely I do apologize for not being able to finish this story that most of you really liked. I hope at least at some points it brought you joy, or made you realize something yourself like it did to me. I guess the last thing I really have to say about my story is, even if it's uncompleted you can fill in the blanks with your minds, conjure up ideas of where it all might have all gone. Let your mind wander to the possibilities, I already have. Lastly, thank you to everyone who took time to comfort me during some of my lowest points, who reviewed, and encouraged me to continue. I appreciate that I could share at least some of this with you all.

-Originally Vintagegirl24 & now Heavyinmyheart


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